The Bruise!

Fittest fat girl you know. 9 x OCR finisher Train in Pole, Lyra and Silks 2018 goals: Spartan Trifecta Run a half marathon Run a full marathon idk, do the splits? My OCR blog My Fitstagram My main, shit posting blog

[aquilacalvitium]

Okay fuck it if this post reaches 666k notes by the end of 2023 I'll practise basic self care

Why 666k? Because it's funny and impossible so good fucking luck

[lizluvscupcakes]

Well, OP, I’m officially invested in this shit. Your whiny ass is doing self care if I have to drive to your goddamn house and do it for you.

[aquilacalvitium]

By Talos this can't be happening

[oysters-aint-for-me]

reblog this everyone i wanna see what happens when op’s reverse-hubris forces them to practice basic self care.

why? because it’s funny and completely possible actually so good fucking luck op

[tungsten-moon]

I figured out roughly how many notes it's been getting per day and multiplied that by the number of days left until the end of 2023

If we keep it going at this rate we'll be far past 666k

[aquilacalvitium]

IMPORTANT

Okay so clearly I've underestimated y'all

So how about we make this more interesting?

I will practise self care if this post reaches 666k BY THE END OF 2022

[moonlarking]

Op you have fuckethed with the devil this post has gained 30,000 notes since I reblogged it last night

[headspace-hotel]

Reblog to throw a hedge apple in OP's driveway

[theleakypen]

What the fuck is this eldritch fruit? I'm in.

[headspace-hotel]

It's Maclura pomifera, commonly known as the osage orange or hedge apple. It is known to be native only to a small area of Texas and the edge of Oklahoma and Arkansas. Before the invention of barbed wire, it was pruned repeatedly and shaped to make dense impenetrable hedges to contain animals.

The fruits are inedible—not poison, they're just hard and taste bad.

The wood is super-strong, burns hotter than any other wood, and is ideal for making bows!

[laineysbucketlist]

We should just fill this post with other interesting things as reasons to reblog it

[lord-angelfish]

Actually I like this idea, we should do that. Here's my fun fact contribution; actual old English, what one could call Anglo-Saxon (as opposed to, for example, Shakespearean English, which a lot of people call old English but is actually antiquated modern English), is a Germanic language, and modern English shares a lot of roots with German because of that. It was also, at one point, written with runes.

[ailingwriter]

The hagfish is a deep-sea fish speculated to be related to lamprey. It exudes a strange goo that is believed to be used to clog the gills of attackers. This goo has been found to be a very good substitute for egg whites in cooking.

[headspace-hotel]

HAGFISH SLIME EGG WHITE SUBSTITUTE???

[i-make-smol-bad-decisions]

Saponify is a word which means to Turn into Soap

Which is great cuz it means you can threaten to saponify someone and it will both confuse and frighten them!

[headspace-hotel]

Wizard Convention Banned Spell List 2022: Saponify

[headspace-hotel]

This is absolutely fucking incredible.

160,000 notes have been added since yesterday evening.

OP has well and truly Icarus'd too close to the fucking sun

[therealandian]

op you are absolutely fucked

[perfectrider]

Rats

They really are just little Bois huh

[straightpeoplereceipts]

queer housing groups are a great place to meet people you would never, under any circumstances, want to live with.

[straightpeoplereceipts]

queer housing groups are like:

“hi manhattan folx. we are both fresh out of school and looking to split rent 3/4s* with one (1) quiet femme roommate. wed prefer to live with someone who is not greek, cannot practice martial arts and was recently fired from their job.

we are looking for a quiet person because it is a MUST that you do not ever speak to my partner due to his inability to behave normally. if you need trouble him, you will pass messages beneath our bedroom door at precisely 3am on sundays only.

you mightve heard about us from our previous roommate, moon. she will be posting in various local groups saying we sold her ferret on craigslist. please PM me for more details.

we are looking for some who

is not mentally ill

is not disabled

will not be seen or heard

does not have friends

will wash dishes for us

you would be living in a cardboard box in our living room. we have a washing machine and dryer but ask that you do not use it, instead going to the laundromat down the street and matching whatever you paid them to pay us as well.

we are both lawyers but one of us roams the streets at night wearing a mask with horns and performing vigilante justice. you must be able to perform first aid at all hours. (and of course comfy doing this xo.)

people with leopard geckos and capricorns need not apply.

*as in you pay ¾ of the rent.”

[powerfulwizard]

I saw a post in a queer housing group and they specified that they talk about sex openly in their house and all of the comments were warnings telling people not to move in there because the reason why they want people to speak about sex openly is because they’re trying to indoctrinate you into their sex cult.

[eaglesucks]

I joined a queer housing group in Portland and left pretty quickly because of posts like this:

[liber-legis]

[adisonbriana]

New!! 

Working towards a deeper straddle stretch or middle splits? Already have your middle splits and want them to feel more comfortable and flatter to the floor? This flow is for you :) Take your time. Breathe. Enjoy. Happy stretching :)

[the--bruise]

Sadly, I am retiring this blog. Won’t delete because its good to have things like these to remember where I have been.

I can be found here http://www.bring-me-that-trifecta.tumblr.com

[adisonbriana]

NEW!!

Effective movements, stretches, and mobility exercises aimed to improve hip flexor, hamstring, and quadricep flexibility for front splits. Take it slow, breathe, and tune in to your body :)

[realanimetraining]

Being a ninja is hard. You would have to be constantly moving: running, jumping, swimming, fighting, and climbing.  Ninja’s have to be strong, sure, but if they aren’t mobile, they’ll be dead before their two minutes into the fight. 

Sit-ups don’t do much to stop shuriken or kunai.

These workouts are designed to get you in the shape to go, go, go! A ninja’s whole life is one big obstacle course. So, a good way to emulate being a ninja running on rooftops or through trees is to get involved in obstacle races. Check out “The Challenge” below if you’re looking to test yourself. Whether you’re looking to feel like a ninja or get in shape to run obstacle courses, these workouts are a great place to start. 

Naruto Ninja Movement Workouts

Naruto Ninja Movement: The Challenge

Naruto Ninja Movement

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #1

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #2

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #3

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #4

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #5

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #6

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #7

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #8

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #9

Naruto Ninja Movement 2.0- Workout #10

GUYS AND GALS, feel free to reblog this with links to your own obstacle course workouts! 

[nopainnopolegain]

StreetPole

[symphonyofawesomeness]

[my-brain-is-sick]

[jessicasodenkamp]

Whipped up 4 frozen bananas, 2 heaping tablespoons cocoa powder, a handful of raspberries, 2 dates, and a splash of water for this treat. I layered it with rawnola and chocolate sauce: part cocoa powder, part maple syrup, and a little coconut milk. 🍦🍦🍦

[healthycarley]

Whoever said eating healthy isn’t tasty had clearly never heard of this.

[4ins-deactivated20200426]

This looks like so much effort tbh

[kseniablog]

[absobsession]

[gym--flow]

[annesmiless]

[X] Arnold Dumbbell Press | Wefitu

Main targeted muscle group: Anterior Deltoid.

How is it performed? Start out by holding a dumbbell in each hand in front of your shoulders, palms facing inward. Bring your elbows out to the sides and raise while you press the dumbbell overhead until your arms are extended. Return to starting position.

[annesmiless]

Some easier variations of push ups to help you build the strength to do a traditional one!

[fitisthenewblack-deactivated201]