Vent... We'll see if this posts the whole thing or if I'll have an issue with it losing half my post.
Someone on Twitter posted a question that I answered.
I talked about scientific evidence, the misunderstanding of the DSM and the criteria, the application of the DSM, the gatekeeping around trauma, the misleading idea of "mixed origins" for alters vs the origin of the system, specifically.
They responded, and we went back and forth specifically about the dysfunction criteria, which I've broken down before and is probably one of the most misunderstood criteria of all. I provided sources to back up where I was getting my interpretation from, and overall, I thought it was a good conversation. It never got heated, it never escalated, it was just a discussion around what's considered to be dysfunctional.
As a point, "suffering" is a very strong word. It's never used in the DSM, I don't think I've ever considered myself to be "suffering". I am living healthy multiplicity. I experience little to no dysfunction in my daily life. I work full time, I have a family, I'm well educated. I am still an OSDD system. The DSM includes me with it's own wording.
This afternoon, the OP was going back and forth with someone more open to the idea of endogenic systems, and I was still being tagged (probably by mistake). This is the tweet that set off this post.
I provided a total of five sources regarding the interpretation of the dysfunction criteria. We talked about how I AM functional and integrated, as they are.
There's so much internalized ableism about "being disordered". It's gross to people. I'm gross to these people. I'm disordered, dysfunctional, distressed, and suffering, or I'm apparently an endogenic because I'm NOT. This person genuinely believes they're endogenic because they're not dysfunctional.
What does this mean for me, and others like me? My diagnosis is being stolen away from me by people who don't understand the DSM, and consider academic evidence supporting my interpretation to be "opinion".
How badly do you have to hate the idea of being disordered that you would throw five REAL sources away and claim it's all the opinion of a single person, just so you can continue to not call yourself disordered?
I hurt. This hurts. This stigma around being disordered hurts. In the eyes of endogenic systems, I've received a death sentence, and when I tell them otherwise, tell that I'm doing quite well, I guess... I'm a liar? That I'm wrong? And that everything supporting my claims is just gatekeeping opinions of an industry meant to discriminate against the endogenics?
I'm so frustrated. I'm sad. I guess I'm suffering, even if it's only at the hands of endogenics that don't want to be "lumped in with those disordered systems".