Just Call Me Goose

They/them - trixic - adult - Polar Bear they let use the computer - Terfs fuck off - butch in training -

[the-goose-caboose]

I post art sometimes, occasionally opinions. A lot of gaming stuff.

Adult. Big kid. Big boy. That’s all you’re getting.

I’ll tag stuff as stuff, I use #goose enjoys as a “fave” tag and I’ll use the #love tag mostly for cool art, so look at those if you want to

DNIs are mostly useless but since I’ve seen one or two pop up, Zionists are not welcome here. Full stop.

It’s 2026, we’re not doing shipping discourse, if I think you’re creepy I’m blocking you, if I think you’re annoying I’m blocking you, this is the way

Oh yeah I have sideblogs

Uhhhh

@stuffed-aminals mostly just jellycat appreciation

@seams-schemes furry blog for furry things

@is-there-a-canada-goose want to know if something has a Canada Goose? I will tell you.

@self-insert-nonsense my self shipping blog :]

@goosestims stimblog, the blog that stims

Get a commission from me on my ko-fi or dm me for prices on a custom piece

aaaand my AO3

Yeah

[libraford]

Knowing how stuff works at the municipal level is a fucking curse because you can do your best to relay information to the community and they still assume the worst of you.

To the average person, it looks like we're just tearing up all the parks for development. But there were meetings and posts and announcements, and there was community input and awareness programs and we did our absolute best to keep everyone in the loop but some people still fell through the cracks.

So they think we're destroying all the parks.

"Why did parks and rec get rid of the fence at this park??? All parks should have fences!"

The fence was damaged and we thought it might be more convenient to open up the area so that people using the shelter didnt have to walk all the way around to get into the playground. The fence was damaged because people would climb it as a shortcut. (I personally disagree that all parks should have fences.)

"Why did they tear down the playground at Miller Park? It was perfectly fine- they wouldn't have to tear it all down if they bothered to maintenance it like they're supposed to."

Playgrounds are suggested to be replaced every ten years to keep up with accessibility updates. Likewise, it was decided that while we're updating the playground it would be a good opportunity to address the safety concerns brought to our attention in the past decade.

"THEYVE COMPLETELY TORN APART WILLOW RIDGE PARK! How dare they take away our precious few greenspaces and line their pockets with kickbacks from high density housing???"

-deep breath-

If you had bothered to go to any of the four public meetings, read the announcements, or looked at the giant sign in front of the park, you would notice that we are remodeling the park to include a wetland restoration area to address the flooding issues, which was voted on by the neighborhood it is adjacent to.

Yall are gonna feel real silly when these projects turn out to be massive improvements.

[pangur-and-grim]

I'm breaking character here, so don't tell anyone, but it was never actually in the book. the real sentence was "Claws the size of bananas shot toward me."

and then this was the edit note:

it's just that when I saw the edit note, my first impulse was to come up with an even worse banana sentence, and........ you all saw the bloodbath that followed.

here's the final line that made it into the book:

[pangur-and-grim]

SORRY! when I saw people getting mad, I had to double down 😭 there was no other option

[b0nkcreat]

let’s all crash our cars into walls

[b0nkcreat]

see it’s literally fine if we just do it safely

[aplpaca]

Stupid thing restaurant workers do (that people with allergies and other sensitivities def get as well) is when I ask if they have a list of gluten free menu items they look at me and go "Well, you know what you cant have"

Like bitch what I know is I can't have gluten. I know I can't have your fucking bread. What I don't know is which stuff you've put the Invisible Gluten in (soups, gravy, mashed potatoes, dressings, sauces, spice combos, what stuff has breadcrumbs you didnt disclose on the menu, did you add a bit of flour to make things crispier even if it doesn't look like it? Etc) or which stuff doesn't have gluten on its own but is fried in the same oil or cooked on the same unwashed pan as your Gluten Stuff and therefore actually does in fact have gluten. So maybe you could stop being dismissive and presumptive and instead try to be helpful for once in your life.

[sandersstudies]

When I worked in a restaurant management refused to mark any items on the menu as gluten-free, and instead made the staff memorize which items were gluten-free. This was good in the sense that it educated staff about the menu BUT it was BAD because it put the impetus on the customer to ASK. I’m sure lots of customers looked at our menu, noticed that there were no gluten-related labels, and assumed that there were not options available to them at all.

[barkingupthelittlewood]

can anyone else see my vision. hello.

[barkingupthelittlewood]

@veylocke-murderbox i hear you, i offer this amendment, tempered with the fear that one day soon, this polycule may grow to cover all of Seattle the entire server and beyond

[barkingupthelittlewood]

@fruitwanderer dear god the polycule is expanding at a rapid speed, at this rate... no one is safe

[barkingupthelittlewood]

@falsiesgf take my hand, look at me: if i ever make yaoi exclusive anything, feel free to pelt me with tomatoes. i do fear the polycule may be nearing unprecedented levels of strength that approach the political power of a small nation. if the metamours start unionizing, it's over

[barkingupthelittlewood]

hello @thefleshling thank you for your call. i am pleased to unveil the HD remaster of this godforsaken shitpost because things were getting a little out of hand and a little crunchy. we now have every single active hermit present and accounted for (if anyone has a better placement for jev please let me know)

[falsiesgf]

[barkingupthelittlewood]

dear @queer-enderdragon and @pomodoko thank you for your correspondence and for dragging my stupid ass back into the building again. you will find the latest iteration of The Chart below, as well as this update's patch notes. please know that i am scared. yours kindly, barkingupthelittlewood

[barkingupthelittlewood]

all right everybody, OP here, thank you all for your thoughts, suggestions, and questions towards my sanity. there is no way i can tag everyone who has been writing in for the past ~24 hours, so we're just going to have to hope that this update gets seen. below you will find the new evolution of The Chart and its accompanying patch notes.

if a connection is missing that you suggested or think should be added, please provide reasoning, if i don't have any context for it i can't really make the addition. thank you all for your patience and understanding.

love from the torment nexus, barkingupthelittlewood

ps for the love of god do not bring up this monstrosity to any of the ccs

[aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20]

This won’t make your blog look ugly. How could you not reblog this? REBLOGGING THIS COULD SAVE A LIFE!!!

[recycled-soul-deactivated201401]

This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.

[riskpig]

WHAT?

[endangeredslug-deactivated20170]

The thing about this? It’s in every pregnancy book I’ve read.

[riskpig]

WHAT?????

[thegrimmlovely]

Why is it in pregnancy books but not sex ed books?

[willowofthehearth]

Because the men in charge only care about the health and safety of women in so far as it enables them to have babies.

[mayothefirst]

https://www.healthline.com/health/air-embolism#outlook

[eattherich73]

Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.

[smooththegoofyshark]

WHAT THE FUCL I hate how I didn’t learn this in sex Ed AT ALL

[jehovahhthickness]

This is very true lol

[bundibird]

Yo what the f u c k

[safifonhasstrel]

[archangeltwins]

not the normal stuff i’d reblog but, uh, this is kinda??? heckin???? important?????

[thesaltofcarthage]

I feel like I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, but it’s definitely a thing.

[midnight-spectrum-again]

What the fuck

[gotterhag]

[panomoly]

i-

….thank you tumblr??

[stankpasta]

hm. 

[krystal-prisms]

I legit thought this was a shitpost until I saw the rest of the comments

[soulvomit]

I first saw this in The Joy of Sex, too.

[wordsaremylife]

Well I never

[digital-magus]

As a general rule of thumb, do not push air into any bodily orifice, regardless of gender. It never ends well. Air compressors and the human body do NOT mix.

Not even the mouth, shit can rupture a lung.

[jaydove-writes]

I’m asexual but reblogging to potentially save lives

[penny-anna]

Hello friends we need to talk about this twitter account:

You might know him from a thread where he was getting wowed by free appetisers in a Mexican restaurant.

Firstly: He is doing a bit pretending to be a wandering samurai. It's a joke and his posts are all made up. This is very obvious if you actually look at his account and website:

He does purport to be Japanese but based on some of the other content he posts there's reason to believe he's British.

Which brings me to my second point: his Samurai content is interspersed with posts like this:

And this:

He is not cute or funny. Stop platforming him.

[penny-anna]

The chips and salsa thread went viral in June and his website seems to have gone live in July. This confirms what I suspected which is that said website with it's explicit disclaimers was made in response to the big viral hit.

Consequently, back when he first blew up it was potentially a bit harder to figure out that his stories are fictional. That said, the New York Times worked it out so I'm comfortable accusing outlets who ran the story describing him as a Japanese world cup tourist of legitimately terrible journalism.

[unalivejournal]

Run don't walk to HomeGoods before the Frankenstein's monster gay marriage selfcest pillow sells out

[genderkoolaid]

as a lover of historical fiction and art about women and horny art and silly art i am so so into this premise. everyone can't stop being like "ohh his is dick made of wood too" it's magic dumbass. i am obsessed with how this sounds like an obscure medieval european folk tale. peter dinklage plays a basketmaker with the power to bring life to inanimate objects for an spinste's sexual pleasure. suspend your disbelief about his cock and have a little fun

[genderkoolaid]

and the leading lady is played by a woman whose gay man. perfect movie perhaps

[genderkoolaid]

for those who haven't seen the trailer.

[genderkoolaid]

#I assume his dick is ribbed for her pleasure and well-lacquered#like yes I assume the wicker guy who is ostentatiously 100% wicker everywhere we can see also has a wicker dick#I also assume a basket-making wizard who can make a whole-ass articulated dude out of wicker in one month#while *also* keeping up with his bill-paying day-job baskets#knows how to make a dick where none of the pokery is anywhere near the jiggery#sorry to everyone who's only seen shitty big-box store baskets that are made out of spite and neoliberalism#his dong is wicker and also perfectly fit for purpose#wicker? I hardly knew her! etc.

beautiful + true tags from @tyrannosaurus-trainwreck

[suiheisen]

i watch baseball for the side quests

[dappergamelord]

throwback to 2021 when the exact same player started doing this extended water bottle bincoculars sight gag in the dugout

[stuckinnet]

this is the same guy who also made himself a fruit cocktail midgame. he is The manic pixie dream girl

[warriornunnery]

baseball is actually not a sport it’s just a documentary of human nature and how we battle boredom. the stuff these teams get up to while they’re waiting their turn.

and it’s hilarious when they pull pranks on each other, like attaching things to other people’s caps:

or the beloved hot foot prank:

or when they decided to put a guy’s pants over his head and make it seem like he was walking on his hands:

or when they opposing pitchers took turns playing tic tac toe every time they got on the mound:

[yokowan]

i take back everything bad i've ever said about baseball these boys can fucking Post

[randomthunk]

Sometimes you have to entertain yourself out in the field too, like the time Victor Robles made friends with a praying mantis.

[warriornunnery]

and some college baseball shenanigans

[goseungseng]

important addition

[your-sunshine-future]

this clip from this streamer fucking up his streamdeck buttons has got me sobbing

[creekfiend]

there are a NUMBER of folktale Woman-Creatures like selkies who exist to make the inherently coercive nature of heterosexual marriage explicit and to externalize male anxiety about how if your wife had actual autonomy she very well might disappear and you might never fucking hear from her again

which is a FASCINATING category of Woman-Creature imo

[creekfiend]

someone said it's also a cautionary tale about mistreating your wife and I think that's spot on especially for other related types of stories e.g. the crane wife. like I think these stories are very much Husband Anxiety Stories. the Woman-Creatures are black boxes whose interior experience it is impossible to know and who have strange and often seemingly arbitrary rules that you must follow or else they will disappear. idk. like. that's why I think that any empowering-to-women-ness qualities of these stories is incidental. I think they're externalized anxiety about coercive societal heterosexuality and the inability to truly Know one's wife in such circumstances.

[whetstonefires]

you also see a variant of this formula a lot (generally at the more literary end of the fairy tale space) where it's not a creature you capture, but a magical lady who picks you for seemingly arbitrary reasons, bettering your fortune enormously with her magic and wealth and second-hand status.

and then, for reasons usually at least slightly less arbitrary, fucks off again.

the husbandly anxiety here is more about not having access to coercion as an option.

[creekfiend]

oooo yes absolutely!

[creekfiend]

was just talking to Story about this and he told me about one folktale where a guy meets a beautiful woman at a lake and she brings a bountiful dowry of like one million fat cows and such and she is of course a fairy so she's like "my one requirement in our bargain is that if you strike me three times I will leave" and in many versions of the story the husband doesn't ""actually"" strike her -- each time it's something like, one 'strike' involves her forgetting her gloves inside and he walks out and taps her on the shoulder with her gloves, but she tells him that counts as striking her. this sort of thing. which is TRANSPARENTLY like "whoa wouldn't it be fucked up if your wife could enforce consequences for behavior she said was harmful, even if according to your cultural norms it was fine, and you didn't see it as a big deal?" like... lol. what if women could actually be the ones who decided whether or not any given action their husbands took against them was harmful? IMAGINE... PREDEY SCARY....

[useless-irelandfacts]

[headspace-hotel]

I learned in my political science class that all major famines in the 20th century and onward have been caused by oppressive groups or political situations restricting access to food, NOT natural causes like crop failure

[dragons-and-pandas]

This is literally the point that Indian economist Amartya Sen made that won him the Nobel prize in economics. As a child, he survived one of the several Bengal famines that were organised by the British colonisers in India. He developed his theory on famines, which is that they were more about distribution of food rather than production or availability of it

[norfkid]

[mola mola has entered the chat] several people are typing…

[tamamita]

[ninakaina]

please look through the hiroshima peace memorial museum's august 6 exhibition and the stories of victims and survivors. today, august 6, is the 80th anniversary of the bombing of hiroshima, and saturday is the 80th anniversary of the bombing of nagasaki. please consider these events not only as a series of numbers or even a single day in world history but as the living hell they created for hundred of thousands of people. i realize a lot of people in the world probably don't know as much about the actual circumstances experienced by the people of hiroshima and nagasaki, as well as the indigenous people (downwinders and marshallese) affected by nuclear arms testing by the us, so instead of getting any more angry about how people talk about it (and how they dont talk about it) i just want to share. the images in those links are hard to look at but it's important, if you're in a safe place, please take the time to sit with them and what they say to you, it would mean a lot to me. all of the peace museum's permanent exhibitions are accessible for free online, i strongly recommend exploring them. & free palestine

[ninakaina]

today is the 81st anniversary of the bombing of hiroshima. august 9 is the 81st anniversary of the bombing of nagasaki. please take some time to remember the lives that were destroyed in these senseless attacks. it's also important to remember that there is no limit to what the united states is willing to do to any people it considers an obstacle to its imperial interest and there is no limit to what it will say in attempt to justify these atrocities.