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[kianamaiart]

purple is the new black 💜

"hey.": an adult-animated sitcom pilot

insecure meets bob's burgers. your new favorite couple.

Coming soon: The Three Tomes: Episode 2 - A Vampire Romantasy Animatic

A queer YA coming-of-age story about a black teen witch girl in the 2010s, fighting monsters and falling in love with vampires.

[arvalis]

Link Loadout

I've wanted to paint a Zelda piece for years but I had to wait until I had an idea truly worth doing.

Prints and playmats available here

[prokopetz]

"Our new indie RPG has rules for fighting the Beast With a Billion Dicks from the cult classic horror film The Beast With a Billion Dicks" yeah, you and every other D&D clone on the planet.

"Our new indie RPG has rules for playing as the Beast With a Billion Dicks from the cult classic horror film The Beast With a Billion Dicks" well, now we're getting somewhere!

[so-much-for-subtlety]

[magnusttsisgay-official]

Jarvis, pull up that variable meme.

[maplecinnamonbun]

i’m reminded of the developer of a mapping software who had a variable named ‘legend_handles’ that got refactored into ‘leg_handles,’ ‘leg_hands,’ and finally ‘feet’

[prokopetz]

If they ever do a second season of the Among Us cartoon they 100% need to riff on how the kill animations in the source material imply that there are multiple unrelated types of impostors and play it up like it's another alien body-snatcher situation, then the actual killer turns out to be, like, a guy with a knife.

[wizardshark]

Listen I get it but you CANNOT use "sensory nightmare" as an excuse to avoid essential things. You HAVE to find a way to make it work, such as finding effective alternatives. But you can't just avoid it.

You need to eat some vegetables in your diet or you will become a lich.

You have to wear a life jacket or you will literally drown and die.

You need to be able to exist in public spaces with children.

You have to find a way.

[wizardshark]

WEAR A HELMET WHEN YOU RIDE A BIKE!!!

[tricia868]

Beaded Rainbow Odenwald Shawl!

Lost my mind a little and added (if my math is correct) 5,615 beads to Nim Teasdale's Odenwald pattern. Anything worth doing is worth overdoing!

The goal was “soothingly weighted but not uncomfortable to wear, even as someone with chronic pain.” It could have been a little heavier, so maybe I’ll make a shawl with larger beads another time, but I’m very pleased with this one. I used size 6/0 seed beads, applied as I go with a .6mm crochet hook.

Yarn-wise, used 2 cakes of YarnArt Flowers. I knitted the fully purple sections from both, then knitted all the way through the yellow-oranges with a single ball. When I hit the beginning of red-oranges, I used yarn from both cakes, alternating between them. (Not the entirety of both, I played it by ear to make sure I made it through the full rainbow.)

I do have edited charts with bead placements. I will only share them with Nim's permission.

I've done A LOT of knitting/crochet this year while chronic illness kept me from my sewing machine, but I'm feeling much better now. There will be new quilts to look forward to soon, plus a few more yarn crafts to share in the meantime!

[stephank]

Thaisha has an awkward question for Sir Julien...

[quiddie]

I’m absolutely DYING. THIS IS PERFECTION. 🥹

[existennialmemes]

[vulcandroid]

i will never be over the fact that during first contact a human offered their hand to a vulcan and the vulcan was just like “wow humans are fucking wild” and took it

[roachpatrol]

Humanity’s first contact with Vulcans was some guy going “I’m down to fuck.”

Vulcans’ first contact with Humans was an emphatic “Sure.”

[lilian-cho]

@sineala

[star-lord]

#iiiiiiiiiiiiii mean vulcans had been watching humans for a long time#they knew the significance of a handshake but still#they had to find some fast and loose ambassador#willing to fuckin make out with a human for the sake of not offending them on first contact#lmao#star trek give me the story of this fast and loose vulcan

[moonsofavalon]

“sir…these…these humans…they greet each other by…” *glances around before furtively whispering* “by clasping hands…”

*prolonged silence* “oh my…”

“sir…sir how will we make first contact with them? surely we…we cannot refuse this handclasping ritual, they will take it as an insult, but what vulcan would agree to such a distasteful and uncomfortable ritual??”

*several pensive moments later* “contact the vulcan high command and tell them to send us kuvak. i once saw that crazy son of a bitch arm wrestle a klingon, he’ll put his hands on anything”

[evilminji]

Elsewhere, w/ kuvak: “….my day has come.”

[lierdumoa]

The vulcan who made first contact with humans is named Solkar guys. Y’all just be makin’ up names for characters that already have names.

Bonus: here’s a screencap of Solkar doing the “my body is ready” pose right before he shakes Zefram Cochrane’s hand:

[adreadfulidea-deactivated202402]

I swear Vulcans only come in two types and they are “distant xenophobes” or “horny on main for humanity”. Also apparently this guy is Spock’s great-grandfather and frankly that explains everything.

[kaijuerotica]

Hey so I looked into this at one point and that handshake literally created a lifelong telepathic bond between the two of them, and basically all of Solkar’s descendants were later obsessed with humans, including freaking SPOCK, so I’m not saying that handshake was so gay and good that it created an intergenerational telepathic bond between Solkar’s descendants and humans, but I’m also not….not….saying that.

[tanukiham]

actual footage of first contact makeouts

[saucefactory-deactivated2019103]

The slow deliberation with which Solkar takes Cockrane’s–I’m sorry, Cochrane’s–hand… The sheer sensuality witch which Solkar infuses an otherwise borderline impersonal social ritual… It clearly shows a very conscious knowledge, on Solkar’s part, of what the significance of the handshake is in Vulcan terms and of how affected he is by it.

That’s why he’s so slow in doing it, and so sensual. A part of Solkar can’t believe this is happening, despite it being a perfectly logical thing to expect from a human, and the rest of him can’t believe how good it is.

I bet that if the camera zoomed in any further we would see the dilation of Solkar’s pupils and a quickly-repressed shiver of delight. Cochrane’s firm, businesslike clasp is probably (in sexual terms) being perceived as a deliciously carnal display of dominance.

No wonder Solkar is all like, “TAKE ME, YOU WILD-MANNERED BARBARIAN WITH ENTICINGLY ROUGH CALLUSES.”

[explorerrowan]

And so we find out that yes, there is such a thing as bottoming in Pon-farr.

[zinglebert-bembledack]

Every time this post comes round my dash, it just gets better.

[gallifreyanwriter]

#somehow the idea of vulcans being Horny On Main always gives me the giggles#like literally all they had to do#was be like actually#hand contact is very intimate for our species#and im p sure humanity as a whole would not find that insurmountably weird#there are human cultures that dont shake hands#vulcans are logical enough to think that through on their own#so clearly that vulcan was just down to fuck#down to fuck in a public#professional diplomatic situation no less#and he did not fucking care who knew it (via kittykatthetacodemon)

[hazeldomain]

Some Vulcan: we could probably just explain that handshakes are intimate in our culture

Solkar, rubbing lip gloss on his hand: don’t tell me how to do my job 

[dirhwangdaseul-archived]

This is my favourite Star Trek post, complete with headcanons, corrections, the truth coming out of her well to shame Spock even. Seriously perfect fandom work.

[silvergryphonart]

They could have explained none of it and responded to the offered hand with a polite bow. First contact was gonna be with the guy who proved they were technologically ready for it but any human aware of Japan and China would recognise that

[the-semicolonoscopy]

Biblically accurate bisexual

[sulphuricgrin]

So once again, I come home after being gone for a few days to a birds nest!! Unfortunately the one I shared in April was abandoned very quickly.😔 But this pair might be the same as last year as they're not too bothered by me and the nest was wonderfully made like last year's pair! (a surprise given they're mourning doves XD)

We have had an issue this week that required intervention. The nest was causing the AC unit to run weird due to twigs catching on the internal fan. It's too hot here for me to go without it but I don't want damage, or worse, a fire to start.

With clean hands and gloves on, I had to cut some of the tree branches out of the way and then had to move the nest. BELIEVE ME, I DIDN'T WANT TO. ＞︿＜ Do not handle wildlife!! Nest and eggs were placed in a container that was clean and can keep twigs out of the ac unit.

They COMPLETELY accepted it. I love these silly birds SO MUCH. The container is connected to the AC unit with magnets. I made sure it'd be difficult for wind to move it. :)

I'll keep up with bird updates just like last year :) Let's watch babies grow up together 💚💚

[shinyhappygoth]

I hereby name this dove Sewing Kit.

[prokopetz]

The reason the heroes are always so easily able to infiltrate the bad guy’s secret base isn’t because evil minions are stupid. I mean, they may well be, but that’s not why.

Rather, it’s because effective operational security depends on establishing and enforcing norms. No behaviour is suspicious in the abstract; that judgment can only be made with reference to some accepted code of conduct.

And if you’re a minion? You basically have no point of reference, because working for an evil overlord is, scientifically speaking, weird as hell.

You had to fight a giant squid as part of your orientation. You’re pretty sure Alice over in engineering is a version of you from a parallel universe, but neither of you have ever had the guts to bring it up. Your supervisor wears a horned helmet in the goddamn break room.

So when you’re confronted with that “new hire” who’s really, really obviously three raccoons in a trenchcoat, you’ve gotta ask yourself: is this… normal? Should I be reporting this to someone?

More importantly, do I want to make this my problem?

And for those who make it as minions, the answer very quickly becomes no, no I do not.

[comicgeekscomicgeek]

…I can’t argue with these facts.

[depsidase]

[flipocrite]

[secretgarden]

[wispstalk]

if ur gonna be pressed into service by your liege lord, u want to be the swiftest rider. get good at horses, because they're always sending the swiftest rider off to do some other shit that is, crucially, away from the battlefield. I'm telling u. when ur forces are outnumbered and the enemy legions show up with some unexpected advantage, someone in command is gonna say, "send the swiftest rider to alert the queen!!!" that's u. u want to be that guy

[baeckerei]

bridgerton is so scary. one by one the siblings are fetched away off into "their happy ending" only to turn into non-characters bearing innumerable children in the background of someone elses story. its like a zombie movie