This is universal. This comedy transcends time and language.
Hes right
#my guy lost knife priviledges real fast
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roma★
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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d e v o n

❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Misplaced Lens Cap
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
Keni
The Stonewall Inn

izzy's playlists!
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Interview Vampire Daily
Sweet Seals For You, Always

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bliss lane
untitled
seen from Germany
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seen from Türkiye

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@the-hidden-idiot
This is universal. This comedy transcends time and language.
Hes right
#my guy lost knife priviledges real fast
"you see i hate racism so in order to fight against it I am going to be ruthlessly xenophobic against a south american country based on propaganda and deny their indigenous and black populations exist, I am so Woke"
que plagaaaaa que plaaa gaaaaa
sound on for eepy baby noises
me when i'm wrapped up oh so cozy in my blankie
Genuinely the easiest form of protest is boycotting and it’s more available than ever it’s never been easier to pirate or shoplift or just buy a fucking alternative youre not going to die if you don’t get your overpriced treats
now, pecker means penis. and wood means boner. so of course you would make assumptions about the term woodpecker. but no. the bird
I LOVE hearing that other languages have so many beautifully unique ways to construct dick jokes
X-ray
do not taste plants if you don't know what they are
do not identify a fruit as edible just because it tastes sweet
hope you didn't eat any fucking seeds, bro
And today, we have this winner:
I saw the photo in my feed and went ohh, dude, no, we do not handle yellow rocks with our bare hands until we know for sure what they are. And I know that orange...
In comments, they continue:
and that's where I started cussing at the computer monitor. But someone else had got there first:
So just as a reminder, folks. If you don't know what it is, don't put it in your fucking mouth!
YOU GODDAMN STUPID MOTHERFUCKER
Something that gave H.P. Lovecraft nightmares is the work of my favorite artist. In "At the Mountains of Madness" he specifically mentions "the strange and disturbing Asian paintings of Nicholas Roerich."
This is what Roerich's paintings look like:
#hp lovecraft thought penguins were grotesque and horrifying#he was not a difficult man to frighten
free use is kind of a funny kink bc it relies on the idea that everybody wants to touch you and have sex with you but what if they don't. what if you tell everybody at the party you're free use but they all ignore you and mind their own business
taking notes
For that one anon who wanted Fae, now with 100% more Fae
my actual vampire hot take is that if you're going to be a 'vegetarian' vampire (a vampire that only drinks the blood of animals) you MUST have hunter education. i'm so sick of people being like oh well predator animals are mean and scary because they kill cute 'harmless' animals like NO they're crucial for the environment and if you're going to hunt animals for blood you still need to stick to regular people hunting guidelines and only hunt things that are in season and abide by your areas bag limits
vampire that did a detailed study about whether vampires can get prion diseases and concluded they can't and preferentially hunts animals with chronic wasting disease. and then incinerates the corpses.
vampire who is a woke predation abolitionist and so exclusively hunts predators, leaving primarily herbivorous and scavenging animals alone
"For miles around the foul creature's lair is nothing but barren wastes"
"because of The Curse?"
"Because of the deer and rabbits, fucking thing ate all the wolves"
“hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for you?”
“yeah can i get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?”
“absolutely, do you want the meal or just the sandwich?’
“uuuuuh hold on”
*fishes something out of my pocket*
“mikey what do i do?”
“get the fries. youll need the energy in the coming days”
*stuffs it back in my pocket*
“uhh yes please the meal would be great”
serious question: can anyone else see this post? am I hallucinating?
this is like Schrodinger’s fucking meme because half the time the pic is deleted and the other half it’s visible
"Explaining binary search to a cop" should've caught on as a saying tbh.
I forgot about the context to this. God this is so funny
Image description: screenshot of two paragraphs that read, "Afterward I found a chat room thread among Cambridge computer scientists, one of whom had also been told that unless he could pin down the moment of the theft no one would look at the footage. He said he tried to explain sorting algorithms to police - he was a computer scientist, after all.
"You don't search the whole thing, he said. You use a binary search. You fast forward to halfway, see if the bike is there and, if it is, zoom to three quarters of the way through. But if it isn't there at the halfway mark, you rewind to a quarter of the way through. It's very quick. In fact, he had pointed out, if the CCTV footage stretched back to the dawn of humanity it would still probably have only taken an hour to find the moment of the theft. This argument didn't go down well."
Alita bra strap m... nevermind.