The Noble Watermelon

I am a person who likes to draw and play minecraft, 21, he/they/voi, if you use generative ai get the fuck off my page

[teaboot]

One of the things I resent most about being Animal Brain Apex Predator trapped in Maximum Productivity Society is that I have to work when the weather is gross, instead of following my natural instinct to burrow myself into something dry and soft and sleep until Optimal Foraging Conditions

[teaboot]

It is dark and cold and wet and miserable and I have a warm dark quiet hideaway full of food and drinking water that is safe from interlopers and for some ungodly reason instead of holing up there to conserve my energy, I am standing up in a brightly lit beige room for several hours. A possum wouldn't put up with this shit. I'm going to bite someone

[whyenn-reader]

part of being an adult is figuring out what eveyone else's definition of "going crazy" is. to you it is not sleeping for 60 hours, writing 80k words in one sitting and expiriencing enough anxiety to kill a horse. to beth from accounting its buying a ticket to Columbus, Ohio. and to your friend its consuming so much ketamine you lose all of your posessions and wake up with five broken bones in a ditch somewhere and then proceeding to do it again the next day. to your other friend its writing a letter to their favourite actress about how much they appreciate her work. to your neighbour its laughing loudly in a grocery store whilst in pajamas. maya from uni hears the voice of her dead father making jokes with no punchlines and she considers that to be quite normal - to her going crazy would be hearing her husband instead. your downstairs neighbour will take night walks naked sometimes and claim there is nothing weird about him. there are literally no rules to life and all meaning is in the eye of the beholder.

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

happy disability pride month to mean cripples, nasty addicts, people with down syndrome who arent nice and talk constant shit, wheelchair users that WILL run you over, autists that dont care and arent about to pretend to, people who lie to their psychiatrists, people that sit on the floor in public places with no benches, amputees that lie profusely about "what happened", ; to the "noncompliant", the "drug seeking", the "mean", the "difficult" and the "undeserving", and so on and so forth, i love us all and we deserve the world actually mwah mwah

[snapcracklepop-myjoints]

to people that hide contraband in their assistive devices. to people that do party tricks they arent supposed to and people who will spit on you if you ask them to do party tricks. to people that weaponise the infantalisation of disabled people for their own purposes (theft et. al.). to the people who "misuse" their medication and people who dont take it at all. to my mother, who takes out her hearing aids when she doesnt want to hear shit anymore but will still pretend to be listening so you dont catch on. to people who sleep all the time and to people with "abnormal" circadian rhythms who are unwilling to alter their sleep/wake cycle to best appeal to societal (and moral) expectations. to people that complain loudly about inaccessibility and refuse to try and "make it work". to people that charge money for invasive questions and people that pretend not to understand the question at all.

[siriosa]

*especially* the noncompliant

[sodor-memetime]

[the-noble-watermelon]

This is the best thing ever

I'm drinking koolaid while my friends are playing MTG and I'm getting to watch and sit on one of those exercise balls, peak of life

[caztiel]

[ultraluuminary]

[the-noble-watermelon]

@turquoisegalaxies

[prokopetz]

In science it's important to resist the natural human impulse to ascribe telos to inanimate things. The things we study simply are; while their interactions may reliably produce certain outcomes, this does not imply that the production of these outcomes is what those things are "for". So, yes, the ray often causes death, but that doesn't make it a "death ray".

[the-noble-watermelon]

@muliervitae152 @confused-rockk @thedetectiveprince13 @turquoisegalaxies @sillylittleskinstealer

[feefal]

Botanical jellyfish🫧

[sinni-ok-sessi]

I do think the ability to emoji-react is a net win for human communication. not only does it give you an outlet for 'I see and acknowledge this but don't have a verbal response' but it also adds a pleasing alethiometer element to things

my coworker announces that he's off to the dentist. someone reacts with a tooth emoji. is this a statement of dentist solidarity? a wish for my coworker to return with more (or fewer?) teeth than he set out with? simple word association? who can say

[goofballproximitysurveyor-deact]

when people put "trigger warning" on their content without specifying what the trigger warning is for

[ohtehnoeszombies]

this post contains notes

[zeesqueere]

does it?

does it though?

[pileofknives]

Fuck is going on here

[liina-puff]

post expired

[unyieldingsilence]

‎ ‎

[official-penis-posts]

HERE IT IS YOU NO-NOTES FUCKERS

[no-one-offical]

What delicious notes!

[constellation-sapphic]

Joe Hills has the most correct opinion on fanart, being: he's not paying for it, so he has no say in the art direction, so do whatever the fuck you want

[constellation-sapphic]

Counterpoint. If the boundaries are stupid, do whatever you want forever. In fact, just do whatever you want. They're not paying to direct your art of a character. Make your art.

[transkojiro]

additionally, because i don't think "if the boundaries are stupid" is necessarily a good benchmark for this bc it doesnt address a core issue here: a boundary is not a way of dictating or controlling other's behaviour. a boundary is not a moderation rule. a boundary is for how you will deal with unacceptable behaviour from the other person. a boundary is a personal limit you set for yourself.

"don't draw my character in xyz ways" is not a boundary. "don't 'main tag' explicit works" is not a boundary. "you're not allowed to write explicit fics of my cubito" is not a boundary. "don't ship me or my cubito" is not a boundary. "don't send ccs my work" is not a boundary. they're requests, at best.

"i mute/block when i come across explicit art in the 'main tag' on tumblr" is a boundary. "i will not engage with fanart that depicts me/my character in xyz ways" is a boundary. "i will block you if i see you tagging cc's in my ship art or talking about my fic in their twitch chats" is a boundary. "i will stop using this platform temporarily/permanently if people continue to do xyz because it makes me feel like shit" is a boundary (false has used this one here iirc?). "i will block you if you repeatedly come into my tumblr asks just to demand about another cc" is a boundary. "if there are any commonly used tags for ship art or nsfw art i will be blocking/filtering those tags and encourage the use of them" is a boundary. a very fucking essential one imo. (i know these are block-heavy examples lol. boundaries when you actually know someone personally are going to be more nuanced - and crucially, will not be ultimatum-y and final like an "and now i block" is. but we're talking about setting boundaries in a parasocial context here - mute/block tools are an effect way of keeping yourself safe there, and because they're boundaries, not rules, you are not owed an explanation if you, a whole ass stranger, do get blocked because of them. imo.)

a boundary has to be directed at yourself and your actions. if you cannot enforce it with your own action, then it is not a boundary - it's an expression of feeling, a request, and those are something we + ccs are absolutely allowed to have and hope people will respect and honour. there are definitely plenty of instances that will make me think you're at least a bit of an asshole if you do disregard such a request/feeling.

but open, unmoderated (meaning fandom-specific moderation) fandom spaces on social media + fic archives are not and cannot be bound to those requests, and other fans trying to go after people who "don't respect ccs boundaries" do not count as them being enforceable. if cc's want transformative fan spaces that they can lay down rules on, they need to cultivate those spaces themselves. but those rules would still only ever apply in those specific sites.

[yogg-saron]

my little brother came into my room and told me that there was water all over the bathroom floor so i got up and grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom to find all of my water energy pokemon cards sprawled out on the floor this kid is 5 fucking years old and he got me

[yogg-saron]

do you think this is a fucking game (because he does)

[yogg-saron]

THIS POST IS TWO YEARS OLD NOW. MAX IS 7. IT DIES DOWN FOR LIKE HALF A YEAR AND THEN SUDDENLY IT KICKS BACK UP AGAIN I HATE THIS POST 

[wizardshark]

this post is now 5 years old. Max is 10 and i hope he’s still schemin’

[explorerrowan]

There’s so much potential in this genre of joke. “There’s a fire in the kitchen!” etc.

[yogg-saron]

#max is thirteen now :(

i find it so genuinely hilarious that my little brothers age is measurable on tumblr specifically by people who have seen this post. i moved out a while ago but i know that he would love how often his dorky ass joke gets passed around on here. thank you all very much.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Max is an adult now

[deceasedcardinal]

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

I always forget there are maga people on tumblr, this doesn’t feel like a website you’d find them on, so to keep them away:

Reblog if your blog is a maga free zone because if it wasn’t clear enough fuck ice, fuck maga, fuck Trump, Fuck Rowling, and fuck all the other bigots I missed

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

In case anyone missed it

[astro-b-o-y-d]

One of these days, I'm gonna need a transmasc creator to make a cartoon that starts out with an all-girl cast, only to constantly drop hints that some of them might turn out to be trans men by the end of the story. Leaving the fans to speculate which characters it'll be, and constantly end up second-guessing themselves and probably get into fights with other fans about it.

And then the show ends and it turns out all of them were trans men the entire time.

[mosswall]

Girl who is the Perfect Pretty Girl, whose entire life is about being The Perfect Pretty Girl and always chasing what everyone else thinks she should be (-nastiest faith imagineable voice- "What, so you're saying women transition into men to escape patriarchy?" No because clearly the performance of the perfect pretty girl is her chasing what everyone else wants her to be as a woman and not what she wants, which is not to be one at all)

Girl who dresses exclusively in skate-and-surf wear who looks like the tomboy from every cartoon in the nineties/early two thousands who goes by either her last name or a shortened, masculine version of her first name. Has crushes on guys in the outside cast but for some reason the idea of acting on them or having them reciprocated makes her want to throw up ("Ugh, girls can be masculine, don't just assume a girl is a boy just because she likes boy things.")

Butch lesbian who flirts with being a he/him dyke but keeps shying away from it for some reason, who buys all of her clothes from the men's section and clearly would like you to think of her as a guy, uses exclusively masculine terms other than the pronoun thing ("This is lesbian erasure!" After he embraces the he/him pronouns as a man he continues to identify as a lesbian. For some reason this is also controversial.)

Girl who is aggressively Ordinary, like an extremely Ordinary Girl, there's nothing particularly remarkable about her girlhood... but she's also a raging fujoshi who loves to project onto her boylove fantasies and is only happiest when she can imagine herself in a gay love story. Which could mean nothing. ("Oh, so she fetishizes gay men?")

Girly theatre kid who is surely safe from all those men trying to erase female characters... but for some reason all of those men trying to erase female characters keep pointing out that her approach to femininity always seems to come in the form of theatricality. Vintage fashion and make-up, historical dress, very performative, though not performative in the way the Perfect Pretty Girl is. Also, for some reason one of her special interests is the parts of history where men played women's roles in the theatre. Which could mean nothing. ("She literally likes being a girl, why else would she enjoy women's fashion so much?")

Girl who is a feminist and openly supports trans rights. As an ally. It doesn't pertain to her though. She's just being a good ally. She doesn't even care if someone mistakenly misgenders her! Because she's a good ally who wants to normalize the idea of not needing to match pronouns to appearance. Many such cases. (I don't think I have to explain what the nasty bad faith voice has to say about this one.)

Girl who uses masculine terms and calls herself a gentleman and tries to act chivalrous. You know, ironically. Because she's a girl. A girl can be a gentleman. A girl can use masculine terms. Gender's all fake anyway guys ha ha ha. ("So you're just invalidating the idea that woman can use masculine terms without being men, is that it?")

[triskeleaficionado]

UC or ER?

[drpathetique]

HONESTLY THOUGH

THIS IS BOTH ACCURATE AND EFFECTIVE

[whos-this-lisa-person]

Urgent Care is for your "Oh no!" accidents.

Emergency Care is for your "Oh fuck!" accidents.

[yeahokayillreblogthat]

yeah okay ill reblog that!

[raccoonmilf]

Chat, is it considered “abusive roommate behavior” to release a raccoon into the living space after you have asked your roommate for months to please clean up their messes (they do not pay any of the mortgage)

[raccoonmilf]

For context, when I used to live alone I would do something called “Princess Time” where I would do an initial sweep (to remove any significant hazards) and then I would release a raccoon into the living area and clean. This helped because I would 1) feel like a princess and 2) the raccoon would bring attention to things my ADHD brain had decided to ignore and I’d quickly clean that stuff up.

So like, if I’m expected to clean the house now, I will be doing it in the way that is most effective for me. And anything that has not been cleaned up after months of having sit-down talks and sending reminders and being promised things will change, might be deemed “trash” by the trash panda and thrown away.

[raccoonmilf]

We haven’t done since we moved into the house, because I didn’t want to cause my roommate or their cats destress or have their things destroyed by a raccoon

[raccoonmilf]

I am a raccoon biologist and one of the few people in the state allowed to take in captive bred raccoons that had been possessed illegally. The raccoon in the photos is Moonshine, but she is currently at the animal sanctuary where I work as I had been quarantining multiple new intakes from an abuse case. I still have two males (Rum Tum Tugger and Electra) left in my home enclosure as we are getting them neutered and then hopefully sending them to an AZA accredited zoo.

I wanna make things very clear that underneath all the whimsy, I am a trained professional.

[raccoonmilf]

Those vibes are likely because I’m the original creator of Dashcon and my personality has not changed since 2012 lmao

[fipindustries]