You Don’t Know Me @the-sandwich-dragon - Tumblr Blog

langernameohnebedeutung

...do little German boy meme enthusiasts even know that our reblog button looks like this-

fruitypies

Oh mein gott! Zis hellsite is full of rebloggenposten

thedogeveryonehates

what the

darlingsterns

i’m watching an art theft documentary and they’re interviewing this art history professor from new york who was asked to go with the fbi to authenticate a rubens that had been stolen but it was a sting operation so they had to pretend like they weren’t the fbi, that they were some private buyer about to pay $3.5 million for it, and the fbi was like “this is a VERY delicate operation because you never know how they will react to what you have to say so let the agent do all of the talking, don’t say a word to anyone just nod if it’s the rubens, the last operation we did the guy in your position got shot because things went wrong in a second” and then it cuts to the professor’s interview and he says “i wasn’t going to fly down to miami to be a part of an undercover fbi sting operation to handle what could be rubens’s aurora and just NOT say anything. i was gonna have to ad lib a little” and then he tells the interviewer that when he & the fbi agent got to the hotel while he was examining the painting he started lecturing the other people, first on how badly they had wrapped it, and then about like how it had been painted, the history of it, what the subject was and what she was doing, etc etc, and he was like “i hadn’t taught a class on rubens in 15 years, so for me it was like being back in the classroom except my students couldn’t leave”

darlingsterns

at one point during the deal the professor turned to the woman selling it and he said “isn’t this just the most beautiful rubens you’ve ever seen outside of a museum?” (because the fbi had told him earlier that this piece had been stolen from a museum) and THEN he said “where on earth did you get it from?” and the group of people the woman had with her was like taxidermy-fox.png but the woman was like “inheritance” can you IMAGINE the fbi agent about to have a fucking aneurysm when this random guy you’ve brought in just to nod if it’s the right painting not only starts giving an impromptu lecture but then he asks how they got it

h1king33k

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0B4Zm-Aa74Y&t=2613s

drek-odradek-deactivated2022031

omg BLESS YOU for the link and the time stamp that was as glorious as described by the OP

bythestardoggedmoon

Y’all failed to mention that HE posted the video HIMSELF and liked every single comment oh my god

nitghowl1600

Ok but if you keep watching, the FBI agent asks the professor how sure he is that the painting was the real deal and the professors says “I have two sons. I often wonder where they really came from. I don’t wonder where this painting comes from.”

micro-usb-deactivated20230625

lemon-jen

netnel

mudwerks

Bringing you more Bad Books and Immodest Pictures, your Impure Thoughts Stockpile was getting low.

radetzkymarch

rylandsgrace

What if i told you this is the funniest thing i have ever seen

mysharona1987

heavywizardsguy

bisexualwario

frognonbinary-deactivated202412

there is something oddly satisfying about pairing meat with alcohol

frognonbinary-deactivated202412

these were two totally different responses to my post and yet they are both equally valid

2-point-5

i like being a lesbian and all, but holy shit, men are so cool. i hope all men reading this have a wonderful day.

basilpaste

i like being gay and all, but holy shit, women are so cool!!!! i hope all women reading this have a wonderful day as well!!!!!!!!!

2-point-5

[image description: the epic handshake meme. one arm is labelled gay people and the other is labelled lesbians. in the middle it says "fuck yeah bro". end id]

2-point-5

hey guys, quick reminder! this post is about uplifting other people!!! tags like 'ugh, but men are gross lol' or 'op has never met a man' are not welcome and will recieve an insta block! men are cool! women are cool! thank you for coming to my fucking ted talk! :-)

bufhasvhndsls-deactivated201610

GET A LOAD OF THAT DOG

owlmylove

[distantly] THAT DOG

jamie-bennett

This is hands down my favorite video on the internet and I am so happy it showed back up on my dash!

neomedievalistbr

You're far too emotional when it comes to fandom. I learned long ago that logic is the true path. For I see logic in everything. I am like a professional chess player and Tumblr is my board. You, my pawn, may cry and whine about fandom, but I will always be the architect of your downfall.

itsbetterthananal

tumblr is so funny for not only keeping peoples content active once they deactivate their blog, but also for straight up broadcasting when the person deactivated their blog. like this mf tried to leave in january 2015 but we will never forget about the feet pics, jim

joshuu-nutboi-higashikata-deact

neurospicybirb

Fun fact! Water actually turns “blood red” when it is contaminated by sulfur creating sulfuric acid. And scientists have discovered that around the time of the plagues a volcano went off that disturbed Egypt’s environment. So the plagues are scientifically proven. The other parts of the plagues are explained by the sulfuric acid river making the animals leave the river and escaping into the human population.

vampiregirl2345

WHY DIDNT ANYONE TELL ME THE PLAGUES WERE PROVEN

kvothe-kingkiller

if anyone wants a full list heres how they happened:

basically they all stem from a massive eruption of a volcano on the island of santorini off the coast of greece. the ash then floated over to egypt which kickstarted the plagues

1) blood: the ash carried the mineral cinnabar, which has the capability of turning water red

2) frogs: the ash also had many toxic and acidic substances so naturally, all the frogs are gonna flee the river

3) lice: given what was going on insects would have burrowed into dead animals/peoples skin and laid eggs, which then hatched

4) beasts: everything is getting poisoned from the ash and toxins, causing animals to freak the fuck out/die

5) pestilence: toxins again

6) boils: the ash would have caused storms that carried acid rain which when it fell, would irritate peoples skin causing boils

7) hail: the storm again

8) locusts: again with the insects and the amount of dead bodies and such which attract more insects. a lotta insects basically.

9) darkness: the ash covered the sky, blocking out the sun

10) slaying of the first born: given that children’s bodies were found in higher numbers than others, some archeologists think they may have been sacrificed to stop all the destruction, but they aren’t 100% sure about that. this is just me but I would say another possibility is that babies/kids are a lot more susceptible to toxins and shit, so while an adult may have been fine or gotten a bit sick, it might have been very dangerous/deadly for kids or babies

the volcano would also attest for the parting of the sea weirdly enough. the red sea was in fact the ‘reed’ sea, and was very shallow, probably waist deep or so. given the amount of shit dumped into the ocean from the volcano, this wouldve caused a tsunami to head towards egypt. the water would get sucked out from the reed sea right before the tsunami hit, letting people pass it easily, then the actual tsunami would hit, fuckin up anyone who tried to follow.

another theory is that the red water was caused by algae, which would cause the frogs and stuff to jump out as well. the algae also carried substances toxic to animals so if they ingested any they’d get sick and die, so more insects. in this theory there was a sand storm coincidentally that caused the rest

some sources: X X

wigmund

The volcano wasn’t ON Santorini - it WAS Santorini, then called Thera. It completely blew away the Minoan settlements on the island and was one of the largest eruptions in human history.

The tsunamis from the Theran eruption devastated Crete, weakening the then-powerful Minoan civilization, leaving them open to being invaded by the Mycenaeans.

The volcanic winter it created devastated crops in China leading to the fall of the Xia Dynasty.

The abrupt and catastrophic loss of the people of Thera may have also inspired the myths about Atlantis.

orville-redenbacher-space-hero

this is blowing my fucking mind

missmagooglie

I love that if you really boil all this information down, what you get is something approximating “the sinking of Atlantis caused the 10 Biblical plagues of Egypt” which is, like, one of the greatest mythological mash-ups I have ever heard of.