Oh Dear. @thebloker - Tumblr Blog

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

"I am the Sword of God" is like easily top 10 things to declare immediately before doing something really stupid that will probably injure you

tsunderrated

Oh you thought I would be your golden retriever boyfriend? Sorry I’m your husky boyfriend. AWOWOOOOOROTOTOOOOOOAUAUAUAUAUAUAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAWAWAEAEAEAEAWAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAA

the-dandelion-queen

Murderbot is the patron saint of tryin your best at your shitty job and time theft

anarchopuppy

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

picsthatmakeyougohmm

hmmm

godisadilf69

This is what they like to call Environmental Storytelling

hisuianserperior

Knives! Get your Knives here for no particular reason!

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

Get em while they're cold, get em while they're sharp!

Special discount if your name is Brutus for no reason in particular!

mesmes99

Grabbing one early this year so I’m prepared.

april

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

entryn17

whoever said all-nighters are exhausting is a liar i'm doing great. i've never felt better in my entire life, the birds are chirping as they welcome me into the gates of morningdom

entryn17

hardwrench

so baby hold me closer in the toast slot of your toaster

autophage

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still