Oh Dear.

hecky • they/she/he • bi/ace icon by cuewulfir💚

[thebloker]

I’m so tired it feels like my rib cage wants to crumble inwards and god keeps testing me when is it acceptable to fail the test

[t4timekeeper]

[thevampirecrow]

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

[dark-hell-princess-tamamolandia]

"I am the Sword of God" is like easily top 10 things to declare immediately before doing something really stupid that will probably injure you

[tsunderrated]

Oh you thought I would be your golden retriever boyfriend? Sorry I’m your husky boyfriend. AWOWOOOOOROTOTOOOOOOAUAUAUAUAUAUAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAWAWAEAEAEAEAWAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAA

[the-dandelion-queen]

Murderbot is the patron saint of tryin your best at your shitty job and time theft

[anarchopuppy]

straight up 'unforchin it'. and by 'it', haha, well. let's justr say. my circumstants

[picsthatmakeyougohmm]

hmmm

[godisadilf69]

This is what they like to call Environmental Storytelling

[hisuianserperior]

Knives! Get your Knives here for no particular reason!

🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

Get em while they're cold, get em while they're sharp!

Special discount if your name is Brutus for no reason in particular!

[mesmes99]

Grabbing one early this year so I’m prepared.

[april]

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you checked the tracking page too much and we got shy about it

[entryn17]

whoever said all-nighters are exhausting is a liar i'm doing great. i've never felt better in my entire life, the birds are chirping as they welcome me into the gates of morningdom

[entryn17]

[hardwrench]

so baby hold me closer in the toast slot of your toaster

[autophage]

You make soup in a big bowl. You serve it in a smaller bowl. And then you convey it, using a spoon, to your mouth. But what is the spoon? Simply a smaller bowl still

[bibaleen]

[glowcowboy]

“it’s not that deep” it’s not that shallow. now what

[gayvampyr]

adult friendships are so dumb like yeah i think i can find a time to hang. how’s february 17th at 4pm

[faggotcwilbur]

do you like men

man is a hopeless creature. i don't like much of anyone

[faggotcwilbur]

oh if you meant sexually then yes

[catcrumb]