Hello

Casual musician, writer and poet. Follow my poetry instagram: melturcloudythoughts 

[theceilingiswhite]

An apology to myself. Because I deserve it and though I say it often, here its closer to what it should be. Less of the self blaming. . . . #poemoftheday #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetscommunity #writerscommunity #heartonthepage #heartonmysleeve #apologytomyself #iamnotawhore #reclamationofself #spilledinkpoetry #loveyourself https://www.instagram.com/p/CCOb7Zklnj5/?igshid=1nwdt09jkzzgj

[theceilingiswhite]

TW: references to self harm. If this would bother you, I would recommend not reading. Swipe right for poem! This is a really personal poem. I struggle to openly admit how bad things are for me and because of that miscommunication the people around me tend to assume it's no big deal. I can't fault them for that. But I do struggle a lot. On good days it's just quiet things I say to myself and try to ignore. The painful way I criticize myself constantly. But I've worked a lot at it so it's quieter. On bad days, something like knocking over a glass of water could turn into this indecipherable wave of self hate. This is also about suicidal thoughts. Not sure if anyone else experiences this, but it never really goes away after you have a period where you're seriously considering it. It's just quieter, like my self hate. It's daily whispers which on good days I can ignore. And I guess that's the importance of the last line. I know I struggle with these things. And it's scary. But each time I've chosen to push through. Sorry for being so dark. In light of this the background picture is the back of my grandma's house. It's a bit overgrown and not really looked after well. But tulips have found their way there somehow. I thought it was appropriate. . . Also helpline is 1-800-273-8255. Please call if you're feeling lost or alone. Ppl are here to help. . . #poem #poets #poemoftheday #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poetsofig #poetrygram #instapoet #depression #selfhate #selfharm #mentalhealthawareness #heartonthepage #spilledinkpoetry #writerscommunity #notalone https://www.instagram.com/p/CCL5Ia-FKLc/?igshid=1u4465mh0q98c

[theceilingiswhite]

Swipe right for poem! TW: some of the lines may be interpreted as self harm. If that could be hard to read, I don't recommend continuing. This poem uses @jasmine.s.higgins July prompt "distant kisses". Follow her for lovely poetry or more lovely prompts! The photo is mine. And the bracelet on my wrist is the bracelet described in the poem. My boyfriend bought it for me while traveling. So this poem is partially about how the bracelet and my boyfriend help calm me down. But it's also about the semi unhealthy way I use them to cope. I should not depend on him everytime I feel vulnerable. And I shouldn't need a bracelet to forget or grow past my scars. It's something I need to work on. . . . #promptsbyjasmine #poemoftheday #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poetsofig #poets #spilledinkpoetry #promptedpoem #julyprompts #distantkisses #gifts #remembrance https://www.instagram.com/p/CCJLyLHHD_X/?igshid=1jrbtifsqsvbk

[theceilingiswhite]

A piece about the heart. About the different ways of the heart. And the perpetual stubbornness that keeps it pumping. I took the picture of my boyfriend's apartment while helping him move in. . . . #poemoftheday #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poets #poetrygram #instapoet #poetsofig #heartonthepage #hesrtonmysleeve #hearttour #heartbroken #heartbreak #spilledinkpoetry #writerscommunity https://www.instagram.com/p/CCG2LTrnC5N/?igshid=rfu6wetv3dnc

[theceilingiswhite]

Another promoted poem! Here I wrote about a some that impacted me when I was younger. Not only Panic! At the Disco the first band I saw live and the first band I ever feel in love with individually (my music library was mostly due to my mom, and still is heavily influenced by her taste) but the song Northern Downpour especially was always something I held dear. I think it's because of how easy it was to sing to, the really lovely imagery in it and that fantastic line, "I know the world's a broken home, but melt your headaches call it home". It was a comfort back then and it still is now. . . . #poetsofinstagram #poets #poetscommunity #poetsofig #poemoftheday #writerscommunity #spilledink #heartonmysleeve #teenagedreams #memories #nostalgia #meltyourheadaches #theworldsabrokenbone #p!atd #panic!attheDisco #promptpoetry #favoritesongs https://www.instagram.com/p/CCEG4ijFic4/?igshid=1r3xfh4soe77h

[theceilingiswhite]

I havent been myself recently. And so this poem came out. I want to thank @captured.silence @jasmine.s.higgins and @aqpoetry for their lovely prompts. I'll post below which each was. I highly recommend you following each of them for inspiration and for the lovely work they've each posted. We really have some talented and lovely individuals in this community! . . I used "We could dream this night away" from aqpoetry's #tunes4june day 29! It's been so fun following these prompts! And though it's almost over, they are still lovely songs/lines to draw inspiration from. I believe Aqpoetry plans to save them as a highlight on her account for anyone interested in viewing! . . I used "through the cracks", "a dying houseplant", "unlearning" and "how to get out of bed" from jasmine.s.higgins. Big thanks to her for the new list of July prompts! Theyre what really inspired this piece and I pulled a lot from them! . . Finally I used "ripping stitches" from captured.silence! . . I want to end this by saying no one should have to go through emotions like this alone. @800273talk is a great page for resources. And the suicide prevention lifeline is 24/7. Call 1-800-273-8255 . . . #poemoftheday #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #depression #capturedprompts #promptsbyjasmine #tunesforjune2020 #darkpoetry #mentalhealthawareness #poets #writerscommunity #promptedpoem https://www.instagram.com/p/CCBsb_9lpaS/?igshid=zwcgembd4imx

[theceilingiswhite]

I've written a lot about death recently. I'm sorry to be so negative. But it's helped me process all the loss I've experienced recently. Family members, friends, coworkers, it's a lot. And loss is so clingy. Some days you're fine. Others it's like a cold hand is constantly holding yours, pulling you towards the whatifs. Also canva has been fudging my formatting. So the bottom is a little cut off 😣 sorry . . . #poemoftheday #poetscommunity #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #spilledinkpoetry #death #loss #darkpoetry #bleedingheartpoetry #bleedingpoetry #mourning #imissyou #instapoetry #instapoet #poetrygram https://www.instagram.com/p/CB_BCgBlMx9/?igshid=2sglvenc5eae

[theceilingiswhite]

The June 26th prompt from @herheartpoetry "walking on thin ice". I thought it would be a fun idea if this moment of uncertainty and fear became an empowering moment. One that showcases self assurance and pride (though walking on one is a bad idea so please don't do it and don't take my positivity here as me endorsing it). I also have never done this though I imagine the ice would feel that way. I really love playing with images of snow. It seems such a simple thing on the surface. But the texted, the sounds, the way I feels when you are walking in a field or trail surrounded by it it just so fun! It eats up all the outside sounds. It's both isolating and oddly reassuring. So I had fun writing this piece. Hope you enjoy! And check out the @herheartpoetry page for some really lovely poets and prompts. . . . #poetsofinstagram #herheartprompts #herheartpoetry #writerscommunity #poetscommunity #poetsofig #snowpoem #walkingonthinice #empoweringpoetry #winter #crunchofsnow #poemoftheday #spilledinkpoetry #dangerousdares #promptpoetry #promptchallenge #imisswinter https://www.instagram.com/p/CB8RcZhlEPV/?igshid=dja01upct882

[theceilingiswhite]

Swipe right for rest of poem 👉 This is sort of a longer piece and I think stylistically diverts from my normal tone. It follows this story arc I'm sort of obsessed with. I'vee written short stories with this couple a few times. But the narrator is a young girl caught in this inconsistent relationship with a much older man. In this poem she's finally cutting him off after feeling unappreciated and ignored, maybe even condescended to. I think it was appropriate for the prompt especially since age can create some toxic power dynamics in relationships. I incorporated a #tunes4june prompt in this, "I broke my back because I thought you would too" day 26! Wow can't believe it's almost over! Thanks again to @aqpoetry for all these lovely prompts! Anyone interested should check her out! She's really such a lovely member in this community! And deserves a lot of love! . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #badbreakup #lovepoetry #breakmybackforyou #tunesforjune2020 #tunesforjune #writerscommunity #spilledink #herheartpoetry #poetryrise #poets #love #poemoftheday https://www.instagram.com/p/CB51X56lPIP/?igshid=1ftm6fqfve2pb

[theceilingiswhite]

Swipe for rest of poem 👉👉👉 I'm sure all of us have felt this way at some point. I struggle in some of my relationships because I'm never completely honest about how I'm feeling. I'm usually trying my best to appease the other person and hardly thinking of myself. And I think some of my friends inadvertently take advantage of that. Because in all of my relationships I invest more than the other person. Now this is a two way street. I know I need to work on my communication skills and practice being more honest. But part of me is definitely worried because being honest is vulnerable. And if I bare myself like that only to still see myself where I am now, I'm not sure what that'll do to me. But yeah this poem expresses that frustration and fear and even anger I feel because of this. Hope you enjoy! Sorry for getting kind of dark! . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #writerscommunity #poets #poetrygram #poetryrise #heartonthepage #herheartpoetry #poemoftheday #poetrygram #instapoet #selflovepoetry #imnotangry #spilledinkpoetry #bleedingheartpoetry #emotionalvulnerability #friendship https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3w1muFBaQ/?igshid=rtu2q148uuyc

[theceilingiswhite]

Swipe for rest is open 👉👉👉 I'm sure all of us have felt this way at some point. I struggle in some of my relationships because I'm never completely honest about how I'm feeling. I'm usually trying my best to appease the other person and hardly thinking of myself. And I think some of my friends inadvertently take advantage of that. Because in all of my relationships I invest more than the other person. Now this is a two way street. I know I need to work on my communication skills and practice being more honest. But part of me is definitely worried because being honest is vulnerable. And if I bare myself like that only to still see myself where I am now, I'm not sure what that'll do to me. But yeah this poem expresses that frustration and fear and even anger I feel because of this. Hope you enjoy! Sorry for getting kind of dark! . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #writerscommunity #poets #poetrygram #poetryrise #heartonthepage #herheartpoetry #poemoftheday #poetrygram #instapoet #selflovepoetry #imnotangry #spilledinkpoetry #bleedingheartpoetry #emotionalvulnerability #friendship https://www.instagram.com/p/CB3SmoDlhB5/?igshid=17o2po32t0y1s

[theceilingiswhite]

I love my mother. But we haven't always had the best relationship. This poem isn't to express that's she's a bad person or that I resent her. That's not the point. Here the poem expresses how I felt when I was younger and we'd argue. It's more about my powerlessness. My inability to act for myself rather than on behalf of someone else (normally in my parents interests). And this lack of confidence and power I had expressed itself in my actions as if I were a puppet. I relied too much on her. Both for what to do and how to feel about what I did. And so inevitable I often felt hurt. . . . #poemoftheday #poetscommunity #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poets #poetryrise #herheartpoetry #spilkedink #mommyissues #motherknowsbest #childhood #womenpoets #puppet #poetry #poem #mommypoem #dutifuldaughter https://www.instagram.com/p/CB0n__-FrAO/?igshid=1mnz1n3fobodb

[theceilingiswhite]

Swipe right for rest of poem! Thank you @aqpoetry for this lovely prompt! "You be the moon, I'll be the Earth". This was fun to write. It's about the troubles of an imbalanced relationship (though I'm sure it could apply to a general missunderstanding too) where the narrator in this couple feels like she gives more than she gets. I wanted to give it an empowering end. Hope you all enjoy! And check out @aqpoetry for more! . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poemoftheday #poetrygram #youbethemoonillbetheearth #cuspedconsolences #love #lovepoetry #standup #empoweringpoetry #romance #themoon #spilledinkpoetry #wanderingwords #promptpoetry #tunesforjune2020 #tunesforjune https://www.instagram.com/p/CByGFmtH8cD/?igshid=15myxk6pm2ksg

[theceilingiswhite]

A poem about my childhood idol: Anne Shirley. She's the protagonist of the Anne of Green Gables series and I absolutely adore her. She not only is passionate and stubborn and a hard worker but she embraces her femininity. She taught me so much growing up. . . . #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poetsofig #poemoftheday #childhoodidol #childhooddreams #anneofgreengables #annewithane #princeedwardisland #everydayisfreshwithnomistakes #mypoeticbeginnings #unabashedlyme #spilledink #instapoet #poetrygram https://www.instagram.com/p/CBvwRMLnPIB/?igshid=n4pk60abovro

[theceilingiswhite]

A short one today. Just a sweet one. . . . #romance #lovepoetry #candykisses #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poetsofig #poets #poemoftheday #writerscommunity #poetrygram #instapoetry #ldr #longdistancerelationship #love https://www.instagram.com/p/CBtAcVlFJxb/?igshid=19u3cmzhxo2dt

[theceilingiswhite]

I'm sorry that it's a tad cut off at the end. Sometimes the formatting adjusts after I finish making a photo. It says "A battle won but this child still must face the war." This is just something fun I did. I was thinking about some of my decisions in life and wondering you know how did they all lead to where I am now. And I had this idea for a new poem where a baby would be fighting it's toys. So I sort of combined the two. Since these words arent fully what I feel. I enjoy writing and who I am. I just wonder how things would be different if I chose something else (which for three years I considered astrophysics but my math teachers (with the exception of my wonderful AP calc teacher god bless her) and physics teacher weren't great and I liked writing so I lost interest. ) . . . #poemoftheday #poetscommunity #poetsofinstagram #poetsofig #poetrygram #poets #instapoetry #spilledinkpoetry #reflective #life #wherewouldibe #wordswordswords #babygirl #womenwriters #womenpoets https://www.instagram.com/p/CBqK1-HFVlB/?igshid=1x4n4xg7zrids

[theceilingiswhite]

This poem is sort of about everything and sort of about something more individual. Right now it's a framework. I might write a longer one somewhere down the road that personalized with more story to it. . . . #poemoftheday #poetsofinstagram #poetscommunity #poetryrise #poets #herheartpoetry #hands #cracksoflife #iwillrise #fistshigh #instapoet #spilledink https://www.instagram.com/p/CBnwJQ8Feio/?igshid=16a5o8t44b9s6