Mixed Up But Beautiful Mess @thechristianfangirlauthor - Tumblr Blog

why can i imagine hospitals calling superman in to use his x-ray vision on patients

like if a patient was too high risk for various imaging tests hospitals could call him in to check

you just know clark would be so down to do it and he’d probably study some medicine on the side so he could know what various masses were or at least study enough to know how to describe various ailments in a way that would help the doctors figure out what it was

i also imagine he could help calm down patients and use his vision to help kids who are scared of the testing cuz imagine if your hero was there with you at the hospital, i know for a fact id certainly be less scared and i think clark would be ecstatic to help people as superman in a more personable way

just superman helping people in a way that isn’t straight combat

#does this make sense legally?#totally agree that it doesn’t #still adorable though #Superman #Clark Kent

friend-ofa-friend-ofa-friend

Do you think Clark Kent had to be formula fed.

And do you think, for a moment, Martha Kent realized she was in over her head.

An alien baby, a canister of formula from the closest shop that she’s not even sure he can eat.

She’s just holding him in front of her with the bottle in one hand and his neck propped up in the other. He’s screaming his head off and she knows he’s hungry but she can’t bring herself to give it to him. She doesn’t know what he is, what will kill him. She may have met this baby maybe a couple hours ago but she’s already decided to protect him with her life.

Jonathan’s out in the shed trying to find any of the old baby clothes and pacifiers they were gifted while they were trying at least half a decade ago; Martha’s pretty sure she threw them all away the second the doctor broke the news.

She realizes that if they do actually do this it’s not going to be easy, and it’s actually going to be quite terrifying. They will always be waiting for that phone call, that knock on the door. From this point forward strangers and outsiders who come sniffin’ for one reason or another will terrify them.

She wonders if they’ll tell him how they actually came to be his parents, or let him live in blissful ignorance.

She counts down to three in her head. And gives him the bottle.

He drinks it happily; perfectly fine.

She can’t remember when she started holding her breath.

A loose curl of his blacker than black hair falls onto his forehead and covers his bluer than blue eyes. She brushes it away and he grabs her fingers with a grip stronger than she thought it’d be. It makes her bark out a laugh.

Something with those pudgy cheeks and that gummy smile can’t be all that terrifying.

fromsil

that legit made me tear up, I KID YOU NOT.

helenvaughans

littlekitchenboy

For anyone who doesn't get it:

If you're in the USA keep an eye out, look up your state's policy (do you need to catch and report it or just kill it?). This infographic is a few years out of date, their range has since expanded as far south as South Carolina and as far west as Michigan. I'm unsure of their range on the west coast. Here is a better guide to their life stages:

The best way to prevent spread of invasive species is by taking precautions not to move things that they might be living in/on, such as firewood. This goes for any invasive species regardless of your location.

gradient-of-aster

I saw the original post and was going to make a joke about 'one of them is going to have to change', but apparently one of them is going to have to die.

herowyn

5 0 Y E A R S A G O

closetocanada

Happy Moon Landing Day! ❤️👩‍🚀🌛

sadclowncentral

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

sadclowncentral

no you don't understand. i do international regulation of emerging technologies for a living. this WAS me stress dreaming about work

part2of3

why-bless-your-heart

“You need administrator permission”

I AM THE ADMINISTRATOR

internetcatholicism

nerdychristianfanboy-deactivate

Pharisees: I'd like to speak to the manager!

Jesus: I am the manager!

greater-than-the-sword

Sometimes old work is not "bad writing", it is just an expression of the experiences, emotions, beliefs and needs of a past version of yourself and that's okay

robotmango

hallmark channel please hire me to write more time-travel romances:

no-nonsense modern businesswoman who is secretly falling for this odd but kind stranger: dinner was so delicious! wow... i wish my last boyfriend had ever cooked for me even once. by the way, what was in the pie?

brave yet gentle time-displaced knight: squirrels, of course

*

brave yet gentle time-displaced nobleman of some sort: the miasmas in this... newest of york are indeed foul. here, i have studded half an orange with cloves, hold it against thy nose, that you may not inhale any spirits of pestilence

*

no-nonsense modern businesswoman's mildly confused dad: so, you follow politics at all?

brave yet gentle time-displaced weaver's apprentice: the empress maud is a pretender and usurper, i pray king stephen's forces will break the siege by michelmas

*

no-nonsense modern businesswoman, etcetera: what are all these children doing in my house

brave yet gentle time-displaced prince: these are my new pages. i have given them each a loaf of bread and a pallet of straw in the basement. [snaps fingers] you, boy! a cup of watered wine!

delighted ten-year-old who is skipping school, dressed in old drapes as an approximation of medieval livery: yes sir right away sir!!

kaijuno

This was in Sioux Falls South Dakota! The green sky is caused by large hail stones within the storm refracting back green light to the observer.

kaijuno

More pics from that day

therobotmonster

It doesn't happen often in Oklahoma, but I've seen the sky turn green more times than I've been to the State Fair and it is never a good sign when it happens.

disgruntled-foreign-patriarch

magnificent.

yandere-angela

i love finding out the meaning of slangs for “attractive woman” in various languages

chick (english) - baby chicken Schnecke (german) - snail/slug sild (danish) - herring fıstık (turkish) - pistachio тёлочка (russian) - heifer ծիտ (armenian) - sparrow

yandere-angela

jheselbraum

Girls night

swinging-stars-from-satellites

I really like the word “smitten”. because at first glance you just think of sappy lovey-dovey stuff but also you have to remember this is a word that’s born of the word “smite.” a devastating word. a word that, summarized, means stricken. smitten means stricken as well — struck with devastating affection.

holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe

after a suicide attempt in 2016

holyisthenameofmyruthlessaxe

“When Daddy comes in, he carries you to bed. Is there anything you feel like you could eat, Pokey? Anything at all? All you can imagine putting in your mouth is a cold plum, one with really tight skin on the outside but gum-shocking sweetness inside. And he and your mother discuss where he might find some this late in the season. Mother says hell I don’t know. Further north, I’d guess. The next morning, you wake up in your bed and sit up. Mother says, Pete, I think she’s up. He hollers in, You ready for breakfast, Pokey. Then he comes in grinning, still in his work clothes from the night before. He’s holding a farm bushel. The plums he empties onto the bed river toward you through folds in the quilt. If you stacked them up, they’d fill the deepest bin at the Piggly Wiggly. Damned if I didn’t get the urge to drive to Arkansas last night, he says. Your mother stands behind him saying he’s pure USDA crazy. Fort Smith, Arkansas. Found a roadside stand out there with a feller selling plums. And I says, Buddy, I got a little girl sick back in Texas. She’s got a hanker for plums and ain’t nothing else gonna do. It’s when you sink your teeth into the plum that you make a promise. The skin is still warm from riding in the sun in Daddy’s truck, and the nectar runs down your chin. And you snap out of it. Or are snapped out of it. Never again will you lay a hand against yourself, not so long as there are plums to eat and somebody-anybody-who gives enough of a damn to haul them to you. So long as you bear the least nibblet of love for any other creature in this dark world, though in love portions are never stingy. There are no smidgens or pinches, only rolling abundance. That’s how you acquire the resolution for survival that the coming years are about to demand. You don’t earn it. It’s given.”

excerpt from Cherry by Mary Karr, context being after a suicide attempt at age 13

elfwreck

Some context: Texas and Arkansas share a corner border. Now, Texas is FECKING HUGE and there are many, many parts of Texas that cannot visit Arkansas overnight, but there are parts where it’s no trouble at all.

However, those places of Texas that are close to Arkansas, do not include “close to Fort Smith, Arkansas.”

The closest Texas gets to Fort Smith is about 185 miles (about 300km), at “a little closer than Texarkana.” (Dallas, fwiw, is about 275 miles/450km from Fort Smith.)

So the dad in this story drove at least SEVEN HOURS round trip, to pick up a bushel of plums for his little girl, in the hope that some almost-out-of-season fruit would convince her to go on living.