Eden Learning Hockey

they/them - demi - gender nonconform - 24 ttrpg, book, fandom, hockey and thoughts dumping ground i write things sometimes, so stick around if you like that or want to give me things to write about

[shrekhollander]

Fat toddler Shane grinning happily when his dad takes him a photo on his first day of school.(kinder garden) He is holding a backpack that is bigger than he is and he struggles as he runs outside to get in the car. He is so excited to go to school.

He comes back home with his angry kitten face and his pouty chubby cheeks because he realized school was not as cool as he thought.

[naturalpr3y]

ilya u are so funny . first time living in w my situationship ☝️ i think we will play with what his no means

[mutinsfromthemoon]

them coming home after shane’s first practice with ottawa centaurs, they barely walked through the door and were already hugging and crying, ugly crying. them showering together, hugging and also crying. them heating the prepped meal for the day and eating next to each other and also crying. and then cuddling up in the couch, watching a movie, with ilya laying on shane’s chest and shane stroking ilya’s hair and also crying. they just can’t believe all this is real. they can have this the domesticity, the world knowing about their relationship and they still have hockey. not even ilya and shane’s wildest dream they’ve thought this could be true and it is, it’s their reality now and they’re not alone, they have support and people loving them.

[flyora]

Harris do his best as always

[florientius]

after their coming out, #myilya is living his best and simultaneously worst life. everyone is congratulating him, telling him that pulling hollander is a masterclass in finesse. everyone is a 100% understanding and standing behind him in his "decision". the progressive kind of players all say the same thing: everyone is a bit gay for hollander. or better yet: if i could, i would. hes not wrong for locking hollander down.

and ilya is first and foremost happy that everyone loves shane. and secondly, he is jelous that everyone loves shane. he wants to fight them all. he would fight god for him. apparently everyone finds his man hot. oh yay... oh nay.

it even becomes a meme! wags start it by doing a fuck marry kill thingy on tiktok or ig, and at first its the boston wags with "marry ilya 🥰, FUCK HOLLANDER (for taking him from us) 🤬, kill hunter 🥰" but then it escalates to "marry connors 😍, FUCK HOLLANDER (shouting with full chest) 🥵, kill pike 😇"

and after a bunch of wags did this, the players themselves have to do it for their teams social media team. and they are all "i guess fuck hollander... holy shit he has the goods (ass) 🥵" or "yeah, fuck hollander! its unfair that rozanov has took him off the market literally the second he hit it. 🥴 everybody wants a piece of that"

meanwhile #myshane gets messages like "HIM!?" "serously, hIMM?!" "what am i missing?" "give me a chance, i can be so much better than rozanov" "what do you see in him?"

and shane is FUMING. his baby is the most kindest, sweetest and cutest man ever, and he is always so attentive and just genuinely a good person. and ilya is fucking hot. shane has to clench his teeth so hard every times this comes up, and ilya had to confiscate shanes phone when he wanted to post "why are all these clowns messaging me, when i have my prince charming? please get help or delete my number" or some shit like that. he is seconds away from a joker type of crash out.

[cherryaire]

HR fics i've written so far + my hr fic faves collection

My HR Bookmarks

Throwaway | G | 770 words

Finally, when Shane does speak, just as Ilya is getting ready to call his name in question, it's not what Ilya is expecting. "I told you not to jump," Shane says, sounding absolutely devastated. - Shane remembers a throwaway comment he made at the MLH Awards in 2011 to Ilya. He's losing sleep about it.

Asthmatic Agitation (or How Shane Hollander Got a Teacher Fired) | T | 6.4k words

"I was just looking for your PhD," Shane says coldly, drawing himself up to his full height. "Trying to find where it is that you think you're getting your qualifications from to ignore doctor's strict orders regarding an asthmatic child." "You must be Nadezdha's dad," she says flatly. No shit. - After an out of control gym teacher nearly kills Shane and Ilya's daughter, Shane is on the warpath. He's out for blood (or at least this woman's job).

Lyrics On Your Skin (One Shot Collection)

The Thirty Seventh | T | 3k words | Self Harm/Suicide Attempt

Ilya's thirty seventh birthday rolls around. He is now officially older than his mother. It breaks him to pieces to know that he's going to see birthdays she never will.

Tire Swings | G | 2.8k words | Kidfic

At her sixth birthday party, Nadezdha Hollander-Rozanova loses a fight with a tire swing. Her fathers try not to lose their minds in the process.

Complicated | T | 783 words | Past grooming and underage sex (non-explicit)

Ilya and Shane have a fireside talk about what his first time was like. It's not what Shane expected it to be. It's complicated.

Fear of Goodbye | G | 2.7k words | Grief

Yuna and David get into a minor car accident. Ilya does not handle it as well as he thought he would be able to.

Pretty Princesses | G | 2.75k words | Kidfic

While babysitting, Ilya shows off his makeup skills for Ruby and Jade. They're going to be the prettiest princesses of all time.- - "A makeup kit!" Ilya says, smiling wide. "Are you two beauty queens now?" "We're pretty princesses," Jade corrects, and Ilya nods seriously. "Of course, of course. Only pretty princesses get to be beauty queens, after all."

beasts under your bed (in your closet, in your head) | T | 3.5k words | Grief, Past Suicide

The worst dreams Ilya often has are the most lovely ones, ones where his mama and he are doing something like making sirniki or zapekanka for breakfast, or Irina is lacing him into his skates because he's too small to be able to tighten them enough to be safe before she leads him out onto the ice. The lingering warmth of his mama's phantom touch on his cheek when he wakes is always like a burn against his skin, smarting and stinging down to his very nervous system. He would trade a thousand dreams like that, the ones that haunt him just underneath the surface of his skin like a ghost he can almost touch to never, ever have the dream he just woke from again.

The Persistence of Memory | G | 5.6k words | Grief

A box arrives on Ilya's doorstep. It has spent two years in customs hell. It is full of his Mama. - His shoulders shake a little bit with the effort to suppress his tears again. He was so, so sure he would never be able to smell that scent again, but the moment he does, he's hit from all sides by memories. Mama dancing in the kitchen. Mama peeling beets and promising they would pickle some. Mama smiling at him in the mirror of the vanity. Mama, dead on the bed, her hand dangling off of the side as if she were reaching for her freedom.

The World Spins Madly On | E | 23.6k words | Plane Crashes, Minor Character Death, Grief, Medical Procedures

What if Shane hadn't been playing a game when the Centaurs' plane went down? What if it had actually crashed, and he'd gotten those messages with no assurance from Ilya? What if he didn't know if Ilya was alive or dead? A rewriting of the story from the day of the crash on that January day in 2021.

Dusha | T | 4.3k words | Mention of Boston Bombing

Most of the time, it was stuff he could ignore. When it was asinine bullshit that was clearly coming from jealousy, it was easy to brush off. It was when they started insulting his character and who he is as a person that Shane would begin to grow angrier and angrier. By the time he was able to get out of the locker room, he felt like a powder keg ready to explode at the first sign of a spark. - Shane goes home and, in searching for proof that people besides him think Ilya is a good man, he stumbles onto a Reddit thread.

petals for armor | T | 6.8k words | Self Harm & Suicidal Thoughts, Medical Procedures

Any relief he felt upon first dragging a razor across his skin has now been replaced with annoyance and a pulse of shame as he realizes that he went too deep. He's unfortunately going to have to go to urgent care and get stitches. - A story of hurt, a story of healing.

[mymoonandmyshane]

its obvious to the centaurs when shane and ilya are fighting. not because theyre arguing and yelling at each other all the time, but because they are perfectly cordial to each other during practice. they dont chirp, bicker about plays, or roll their eyes at the other’s antics. they bring valid criticsm and advice just like they would any other day, but its all perfectly professional.

im imagining theyre doing drills and shane’s like: your speed’s good but you could be sharper when turning

and ilya goes: okay thanks for the feedback, you could be more aggressive during a board battle for the puck

shane: will do, thank you

all the centaurs internally: fuckkkk theyre saying “thank you” to each other for correcting their hockey, do we need a marriage counselor?

crucially their fights usually only last a day or two, so one day the centaurs are at defcon 2 trying to force them into a closet to make out up, and the next theyre breathing sighs of relief at shane calling ilya an asshole

[wannabetonthat]

Idk if this is a controversial headcanon or not, but I can't imagine Small Shane Hollander being shy and anxious.

He strikes me as the type of kid who really didn't give a single fuck. Not a one. He was doing his own thing and having fun and being good at it, and whether he had friends or not really wasn't a concern for him because it's not like he wanted to hang out with other gross stupid kids. He was a haughty nonchalant child who didn't even register any kind of bullying attempt from fucking Jimmy, bc who cares about Jimmy?

Any kind of feeling of inadequacy came after puberty when other kids started being slightly more interesting and complex and he became the younger kid on his teams instead of just one more of the lot. When hockey practice actually started to need some team synergy and the dynamics changed on him.

But before that, that kid wasn't shy, and he was having a wonderful time

Ilya Rozanov on the other hand...

[raccoonspew]

Things that turn Ilya Rozanov on

- being cared for in a classic way. It’s something he thought he wouldn’t ever have and now he does and he’s horny for it.

- Shane standing up for himself…

- Shane taking really good care of Anya. Ilya wants to get him pregnant so bad HE starts ovulating

- Shane wearing an old man outfit. Button up pajamas, reading glasses, slippers, etc. if Shane came downstairs with a night cap and a candle Ilya would pass out. Mr. Scrooge style.

- the playoffs (he is just like his husband)

- their wedding rings. He starts jerking off with his non-dominant hand so he can feel it (left handed Ilya Rozanov truthers please rise)

- Shane being His Boyfriend ™️

- one time Shane ordered for him at a restaurant and Ilya got so hard they had to leave.

- weed. He can’t smoke weed in public anymore because he gets too horny.

- Shane in a priest outfit. It’s his Halloween costume one year at a tram party because he lost a bet with Wyatt. Ilya almost blacks out when he sees it and spends the entire night proposing different role play scenarios. Ok what if I’m a dirty sinner and you are a stuck up virgin? What if I call you Father Hollander? What if I sin and you make me pay for it? What if you’re a high ranking priest and I’m trying to show you how fun worldly things are by bending you ov —

[tinylilhollander]

Idk my one unshakable headcanon is that Ilya is the morning person. Yes he parties till god knows what hour and doesn't mind staying up late, but he also wakes up between 5:30 and 6:00 every morning like clockwork. It's a good thing too because it was key to living as peacefully as possible in his house growing up. And he doesn't hate getting his day going early. Unless he's deep in the depression. But even then, on days he can't get out of bed, he'll wake up around the same time and just lie there. It's habit at this point.

Shane, meanwhile, haaaaates mornings. He gets up at 5 every day for his first workout because he's Dedicated and Determined but he has to scrape himself off of his mattress each time, grumbling as he does. He hates the transition between sleeping and awake so fucking much, especially when it's rushed. David and Yuna developed so many creative ways of getting him up as gently as possible growing up. Part of why he loves going to his cottage so much is it's the one time of year where he doesn't have to set a crazy alarm. He can work out whenever he wants to in the day. If he sleeps in a bit he doesn't feel like he's letting anyone down. If Shane had no responsibilities? Man, he'd be sleeping in and napping as much as he could.

Whenever he and Ilya spend the night together, and certainly when they start living together, Shane gets woken up with a sweet kiss, a cup of coffee, and either breakfast in bed or pre-workout depending on if it's season or off.

[tinylilhollander]

Ilya always has a mop of frizzy wild curls at the cottage because

They're always in and out of the water – lake swims, pool swims, hot tub, showers – so doing his curl routine each time would be crazy when he could be spending that precious time sucking his boyfriend's dick.

Shane's not the biggest fan of how Ilya's styling products feel. He'll tolerate it, but Ilya can tell by his face that the texture isn't his favourite. Less product = more hair touching.

Shane's hands are always in his hair. When they're kissing. When they're watching a movie. When they fuck. When Ilya sits with his head in Shane's lap. When they're napping on the couch together. Shane's hands are usually full of a handful of Ilya's curls.

Shane seems to really like it. One time Shane said Ilya's fluffy hair made him look like a duckling and he's been chasing that high ever since.

He just prefers this version of him that doesn't need to look perfect and be perfect to be loved and adored. Shane never makes him feel lazy for letting his hair get a little wild over summer. He kisses his temples and tells him he's so fucking beautiful.

[quasi-normalcy]

Apparently people are saying The Odyssey is "woke"? I had no idea because I happen to be on the part of the Internet where all of the discourse is dominated by classicists complaining about inaccurate costume choices.

[russianblush]

shane hollander AKA mr. trouble AKA shanebug

[mutinsfromthemoon]

there’s a viral video going around of someone who snuck a camera into the tunnel and caught shane and ilya embraced right before they hit the ice. it’s an incredibly warm and tender moment, they’re holding each other so tightly. ilya’s face is buried in shane’s hair and he’s kissing his head while whispering something to his husband. and they’re kinda slowly swaying together, and shane’s got one hand caressing ilya’s back while the other one is just playing with the ends of ilya’s hair. and it’s the most domestic and romantic thing that anyone have ever seen from them. they’re just so soft and in love and and the fans are mad about the invasion of privacy but also so grateful they got to witness such a beautiful moment between the married hockey players. and harris is absolutely beaming because for once the hollanders are viral for something nice instead of some chaotic or unhinged moment

[kosmogrl]

I need something I just don’t know what it is yet

[kosmogrl]

this has been going on for like 20 years by the way.. I will let you all know when I figure it out

[stabthroughme]

Pondering Shane and Ilya’s first joint rookie (or two) bc Luca is firmly Ilya’s rookie, and Shane never really connected with any of the Metros rookies no matter how much he tried (but it’s okay bc Hayden did, just like how Hayden and Jackie were the hosts for Metros team events and how Jackie was the one coordinating WAGs and not Shane’s non-existent girlfriend).

But the first rookies he gets to have with Ilya he gets to be entirely who he is without the burden of official captaincy. That’s Ilya’s job. He can just be the guy who has life experience and a decade on the ice. He’s less intimidating than Ilya bc he’s not the captain, even if he’s also intimidating. So they go to Shane when they want advice and hilariously a lot of the early advice is exactly Shane’s wheelhouse.

They’re new professionals in a new city (and likely country) who are living alone for the first time ever. “Hollander you’re from here right?” “Yeah” “do you know which neighbourhoods to avoid?” Cue Shane in the gym on the bike next to the rookies passing a tablet back and forth with Zillow listings pulled up.

(If they played in the Juniors system) they’re coming out of a system that broke a lot of kids, broke a lot of kids’ love for the game, but they don’t know how to do anything else. But it’s the same system that made Shane. So when one of the rookies is on the verge of a nervous breakdown bc they’re pushing themselves the same way they did in Juniors Shane gets it in a way Ilya doesn’t, and his adoration of the game of hockey becomes infectious when he makes them all take a break during an optional skate to just Play. Ofc it starts with him doing the silent “play?” “Play!” Behaviour with Ilya but he ropes the rookies in easily.

But Shane’s never actually played hockey very far from home. His Juniors team was in Kingston, which is just under 2 hours drive from Ottawa. As established Montreal isn’t far either. Ilya moved across the world. He’s the one stepping in to order the rookies food they missed from home to be delivered after a long road trip.

When they have girl trouble Ilya’s the one to talk them through it and remind them that not everyone finds the love of their life at 17 (while looking dopily at Shane, which ofc he gets chirped for).

So yeah. I wanna see their first shared custody rookies.

[providing-leverage]

Core 4 of Not the Boston WAGs, in order of introduction (Vikki, Jaz, Shannon, and Marcus). None yet for Callie because I don't have a solid mental image of her.

Tempted to do one of "Jane" as the chat pictures her in their minds