The Green Half

Selections that survive the long journey to the outside of my skull.

[crawfishcomic]

Peephole People

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

hello! i am crumb cat!

socials

twitter youtube twitch

[locallegume]

I was gifted bathtub bulgestarion for my bday what should I do with him. Good and bad ideas please

[locallegume]

Update I am putting this cactus in it I am dying how did they have a cactus So Perfect

[locallegume]

ITS DONE

[benjamintycandy]

[locallegume]

HIGHLY IMPORTANT UPDATE HE IS IN BLOOM

[elizabro]

ordered a “who drink arnold palmer” t shirt for the laughs and it came printed “who drink arnorl palmer” and a sports logo on the back. which possibly makes the shirt funnier 

[elizabro]

funniest shirt alive

[penny-anna]

the whole eeby deeby superhell horse plinko blorbo era of tumblr is & was a bit frustrating for me bcos i was Online enough to watch the whole thing percolate and as a result was often stuck explaining to less Online people what in the world was going on AND also pretty routinely see people be wrong about where all the Parts came from

[penny-anna]

remember once explaining where 'I'm bald' as a tumblr poll option came from and having someone be like 'oh I actually think people started saying it bcos xyz' and having to be like no you are wrong. i have done the research & have sources.

[penny-anna]

here's the low down on 'I'm bald':

was your hair a different color when you were little? yes, lighter yes, darker no i don't know / i'm bald / any other miscellaneous infinite

^ this is the original poll. it only got about 1800 votes. OP has moved blogs so I don't have the source on this anymore but they made some follow up posts explaining that they worded the final answer that way bcos they'd had some people complain about a previous poll they made on a different subject being insufficiently inclusive and they wanted to make sure all bases were covered. this is also presumably why it has an exasperated tone to it.

if you think you remember seeing and voting in the OG poll you probably didn't, just statistically.

the best thing since soap

me when someone asks me literally anything:

^ somebody thought the wording was funny and posted a screencap with a caption. THAT post has just under 70,000 notes and counting.

people agreed that the way it was worded was funny & start applying it to various fictional bald people

(source)

(source)

& also people begin using 'I'm bald' as an alternative to 'not applicable' on polls.

[sixthrock]

everyone knows about Human Pet Guy but i feel like only the real tumblr OGs remember Train Fucker Guy. the dude who would show up on literally every post even tangentially related to social justice issues being all internet tough guy like “unlike you sjws I’m not so easily triggered, there’s only two genders and white privilege isn’t real, lol u mad” and then you went on his blog and all his other posts were about him being very openly, proudly sexually attracted to trains. I dont remember his url because he would change it every two days but you always knew it was him, his icon was usually some ms paint anthropomorphic train girl with huge tits. everyone would immediately just be like “heyyy it’s Train Fucker” every time he popped up just like they do with Human Pet Guy

[zzzucker]

they actually had a crossover

[animalengine]

um sorry i’ve been compelled

[sreegs]

nyc guy guided meditation: close ya eyes... breathe in thru ya nose... and out through ya mouth... and wit da nex exhale breathe all da way out to citi field... lets go mets

[vampiredoriangray]

fuck my gay life. pharmacist asked for my ID when I was picking up my testosterone and instead of my driver’s license, I accidentally grabbed the fool tarot card I keep behind it in my phone case and went to hand that to her

[just--icy]

[tockthewatchdog]

we need to give this tweet more credit for im pretty sure coining "die mad about it"

[invertprivileges]

checks out, thank you melanie

[brynkiwi]

Now im the “legal eagle kink meme girl” :(

[danatron1]

Forcefem fiction based around the fact that the US military banned trans people from serving, so Russian psy-ops are trying to crack as many eggs in the US military as possible to remove combatants. They're even helping smuggle HRT into the country.

What they don't know is that the US has been doing the exact same thing back. Two people tasked with transing the others military are paired together, unknowingly trying to forcefem eachother. It's working.

Call it Mutually Assured Feminisation (following in the absurd title footsteps of Human Domestication Guide or Ranked Competitive Breast Growth)

[thegreenhalf]

Investing at 250 notes

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

that moment when you learn that the who's who of new york have just been funneled to your blog and then you remember you posted the john green cock monologue in full yesterday

[amanonthecorner]

[mintchocolatechimp]

Visit Original Link

Original tweet: (x)

[thedurvin]

Art historians have debated what they call a "mysterious expression" on the girl in Manet's "Bar at the Folies-Bergere" (1882) but I'm pretty sure it's just Customer Service Face

[thedurvin]

[notskull29]

Edit: This blew up way more than I imagined it would, so I would like to make it clear I did NOT make this image, I found it on Twitter a long time ago and had it saved and wanted to share this cause of the recent news, I unfortunately do not recall the original, if anyone does then DM me or comment so I can give proper credits to them

[isekaicore]