THE MCBROOME CLOSET

[notdayle]

Me and my girlfriend did a lil photo shoot in our regalia back in December

[notdayle]

Oh we’re engaged now btw 💍

[blue-heron]

god i love pride and prejudice. the mortifying ordeal of your family finding out that you actually love that one asshole you made everyone in the family dislike

[detectivehole]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[detectivehole]

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

[flavinbagel]

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

[theterriblethingabouttulio]

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

[kat-witha-k]

This is fucking insane

[brightlotusmoon]

[mod2amaryllis]

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[pies-in-the-skies]

me: truly a well crafted tragedy is such a bittersweet pleasure to take in and serves a purpose, not just as a sad story but as a reminder that even that which ends badly might not have happened in vain or for nothing. The love, the grief, the actions still meant something simply for having taken place and for us partaking in it.

me when said tragedy is about to actually unfold, sweating: ok but consider this. i dont want this to happen

[countbinface]

tom loftis: human disaster

WIDOW'S BAY (2026-)

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

spicing up conversations by saying 'you really believe in that' at the most basic inane things

[dct239394cvvd098dffgggp]

like this

[scrumptiousangst]

I was trying to bore my 4 y.o. grandsone to sleep last night by counting slowly outloud 1 to 200. Around 170 he asks "are you just making stuff up?"

[homoerotisch]

why has anyone bothered to write a kissing scene after annie proulx wrote this in 1997

[screamlet]

FYI: brokeback mountain is a short story available to read on the new yorker site and as a PDF (only 20 pages!)

[depsidase]

[cosmicretreat]

[daysleftofsecondterm]

this post makes me feel patriotic

[maximien-deactivated20230901]

Flyer and assistant

[amberlyinviolet]

@thesporkidentity you are so right bestie.

[thesporkidentity]

i can’t believe you would put me on blast like that

[anyataylorjoy]

MY FAIR LADY 1964 - costume design Cecil Beaton

[eroscestlavie]

lesbian texting their straight guy friends: it genuinely worries me that people are going to start with Vineland and get turned off to Pynchon forever. it’s not even that challenging but it’s like…others from him are so superior in basically every way?? this happened with Inherent Vice too like ok let’s all KILL OURSELVES

lesbian texting their bisexual guy friends: Omg hiii I actually do not know anyone who would be a good fit to run in bar marketing for the doritos infused tequila but thank you for thinking of me!! Are you still doing the MFA???

lesbian texting their gay guy friends: Of COURSE you can have my french onion soup recipe. Don’t worry.

lesbian texting their straight girl friends: that hang was sooo needed. genuinely think this is going to be your year 🫶 seriously I mean it.

lesbian texting their bisexual girl friends: I know. I feel the same way—that this is the year my father’s corpse, which I drag with me on my back every winter, finally stops keeping me warm.

lesbian texting their lesbian girl friends: do you think Tim Roth from Reservoir Dogs is a woman

[plaguedocboi]

Incorrect sayings that I use so often I’ve almost forgotten that they’re not the originals:

I have bigger fish to fight

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it

You can lead a horse to water, but if you drown it you have to walk home

Opening a can of whales

You made your bed, now shit in it

Combining the latter two into the phrase “you opened this can of whales, now lie in it”

[foldingfittedsheets]

Early today. My sweet precious beloved wife. Said: “Where did this babybel come from?”

In horror I asked, “What babybel?”

They reached down. And rose up holding a babybel cheese. A lukewarm cheese. Right there. On our living room floor.

“What…?” I asked in horror.

I do not eat babybel cheese. My beloved wife did not touch the babybel cheese.

It was left in our fridge by our friends and my wife has been nibbling them but not today. Or yesterday. Or the day before that.

And still, on our floor. A babybel cheese.

“Where did it come from?” I wailed.

“I don’t know… maybe… maybe it fell out when I got the watermelon? And then the cats… pawed it across the floor?”

“Without us hearing?! While we were in the room?!”

This is also leaving aside the fact that both cats would happily and voraciously consume any cheese in their vicinity.

We both regarded the cheese with dismay. How could we have not seen it sooner? It was red! Right in the middle of the floor! I know I did not see it today, or yesterday, but lo, on my floor, a cheese. A single cheese.

It haunts me. Where did it come from. Our roommate Buck does not leave his den. We were occupying the living room. How did it get there.

My beloved took it away.

Later, fretfully, I said, “Was there teeth marks on it? I don’t think you should eat that.”

“I threw it away!” my beloved said indignantly.

I conceded that made more sense that retaining mystery floor cheese of dubious origin.

I will never know. Where did you come from, floor cheese? I wish I knew.

[fullmetalfisting]

I know that “fwiw” means “for what it’s worth.” I know that. But every time I read it, my brain translates it to “fwom what I wemembew”

[elmyraerased]

[the-real-ted-cruz]

no other social media platform has lore quite like tumblr’s

[angstycatthatlikestea-deactivat]

the gods that haunt this place are unlike any others

[super-face]

I just saw a tiktok comment saying that tumblr right now is like a place recovered from being irradiated

[sneakyfeets]

[cryptognomicon]

Sign outside Tumblr: “This place is not a place of honor. No highly esteemed deed is commemorated here. Nothing valued is here. …”

[transastronautistic]

id: screenshot of tags reading “the wildlife carries on in the ruins like nothing ever happened”

[therobotmonster]

Sometimes you can hear voices from the trees...

[person-of-many-names]

I like your shoelaces

[avocadosfromfigaro]

Thanks, I pulled them out of a stump filled with fae water and now it wards off the President

[rottencore]

This post keeps making me cry laughingg