this ghost named memory

[theotherwhiteknight]

I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASE

DO NOT ever tell someone that you’ve gained a few pounds and now find it impossible to reach behind to fully service yourself on the toilet. 

PLEASE STAHP. 

Now I’ve got to picture my friend’s face and body contorted on the loo, every time I’m practicing proper hygiene...

[theotherwhiteknight]

alone

[theotherwhiteknight]

The Holes he Poisoned

[this is a letter I sent to my sister, not intended to be cohesive or publicly viewed.    Sister, sister, father is poison. toxic. he never even gets allergy tested to fix his own problems. he's toxic to you and to me and to Mother and to step-father and everyone. and to himself. he refuses to grow up, and he did that to me knowingly, intentionally, allowing me to suffer. he never takes responsibility for anything, never cleans up. I am doing better. but your supporting him had and has always intervened in my life terribly. I got used, scapegoated again and again. used as a tool so he could control and have his revenge on mother (who escaped his imprisonment only to be in a less-bad prison) and the world. these are facts. this is reality. that is what he did to us. to all of us. that is why the only person in the world to accept him entirely over others is his own mother who knows him through the lies he tells. and, and anyone else tolerates him only for what he gives them like the good people moving-in to where I was imprisoned, and kept going for him, I did so much work there. He has them moving in to displace and further intentionally damage my stuff and my life. he's holding it all hostage and destroying it. he knows I've put more investment and skill, time knowledge, into those things than all he could ever create in a hundred of his miserable lifetimes, and that is what has always held me back from living and enjoying life and doing all I could for the world. All my tools are there, all my fun toys for living and inventions. He always had to intervene and lie to grandma, shape her worldview so she would support him, and that's why she tortured me and wouldn't let me be free even when she’s had so much power, millions, empty houses, support, themoney given to everyone else but me. chose to punish me for the lies he has told her forever. about me and mother. Sister, I have countless recordings of him lying to her. She has no concept of reality because of him. She probably never has. He is a monster. if you cannot see that, if you choose to accept him and forgive him, that is because he has trapped you and limited you from having love and resources to be free in your life. I'd give you everything possible had I ever or if I succeed in escaping his prison and torture. but you never helped to protect me from him. You never sided with me in the big picture. You never got to see him for what he is. You never were forced to be his slave. Toil on his ship. Feel his moans, screams, shouts, grimy, sewage-covoured (literally) hands around your throat until you passed out again and again. You only saw him once do that, what about the hundred of others times? When I was forced to lay next to him? He does not sleep soundly. You can feel his quakes and groans and hands and skin and gangrene teeth. Your involvement with him has always been of benefit to you. Always. He gives you so little, and has taken so so so much. Did I have inventions I told him off as a child? yes. I educated him in many fields, I advanced him. He gave me the least, bare minimum, and always always has reminded, controlled, beat me endlessly, returning again and again, no matter the commute to return within hours minutes days up to a day’s drive away to get to me, to prove he can take it all away. He always did that. He always made my favourite things disappear. He always abused what I invested myself into. He never protected the boats I've made, he crushed them, literally, and sold, gave away cars I fixed. I fixed his boat, things he told me to do he could not. No thanks. Only orders. He never fixed mine. He crashed into my cars, denting and twisting them multiple times. He never fixed them nor paid me. He crashed into my motorcycles, denting and irreversibly twisting them. He did those things. Almost never told me. Only once, maybe twice admitted. He does not accept responsibility. He only helps so that he can own people, and use them. Control, for benefit and profit. I've never sold anything of his. Not once. He has sold everything I make entirely perfect. Whatever wasn't in some way still requiring work, he sold it after I built it. I fixed it. Every chainsaw, every tool, every car, every boat and trailer I made complete and perfect. He does this endlessly, ruthlessly. He takes anything from me he can. If you cannot accept every single word I am saying as pure literal fact, then I will never love you for you. I will support you and If I succeed I will share with you, but then I'd have power. Power he never wanted me or you to have in this world. He is a taker. While I am needy and wanty, or have been, it is because of him, and also too somewhat of step-father. they take for their benefit, and give only what allows enough to ensure they continue receiving those benefits. like when step-father acted, pretended to show shame, to you and Mother about what he has done. but not to me. no gift or apology. no millions of dollars. he gave it to charity. can you not see? that is why I don't say I Love You. I am not the one incapable of loving or being loved, it was you and them who do not show love to me. Only control and allow me to be controlled by others. Scapegoat. a tool. a fool. Not pathetic, but I let myself seem to appear as such. Until you all realise what lives we've lost or could be living. no one ever cared about my ideas. people steal them for profit, like father and step-father, their careers primarily funded from my work, my two hands, my knowledge of actual, yes, investment opportunities I've told step-father throughout my life since childhood, when he was still luddite, preferring ancient basic limited function tools. I gave him those ideas. And I got pennies and abused. I'd overhear step-father talking on the phone, see letters ordering purchases, investments, based on precisely the companies and ideas I'd told him. He never could accept me for being truthful, and for being around, because I was nosy, and I didn't understand lies, how people cheat. I was a child. He lied constantly to protect himself and own Mother as property. That was abuse. To all of us. We were innocent. And you chose to be used to be not innocent, to me, and to the world. I always want to see you live, and thrive, but you need to be better, do less bad. I wasn't ever your enemy or adversary, they were. We were used as weapons, violently, tools for their war, pillaging and raping. They've gotten so much from us and everything. That is why so many family members kill each-other, historically, and children take the power with violence. That is why our stories and tales, our media, movies are so interesting us that the protagonists usually get what they deserve. Good people rarely get what they deserve. Bad people take what is not theirs. That is how things (don't) work (as they should). They created a world to keep power in the elders, mostly, rather than promoting what they created, so called miracles, to live better than themselves, they force us into subjugation. Slaves to never have nearly what they had, until, perhaps after they are gone. We don't get to thrive because of them, yet I have always documented my progress, my inventions and ideas, so that maychance one day I find a way or if I am given a chance, I can live in spite of them. It's always possible I'd change my mind and not share so much, if I succeed, I could just go and be merry! You all held me back, knowing my genius. Never promoted me how I needed, how I deserve. Never respected. That is what you do by permitting father to exist in your life. It is disrespectful to me. It is conscious, you've always had the choice. The only reason father did not murder me or rape you as you’ve said you feared he would is then what he has always done would come to light. I've seen too much of him. And if you ever could see clearly too, you'd see him for what he is. Evil. Just go dark. Uninvolve yourself. He doesn't deserve to know you. You've always betrayed me, telling anything about me or Susan to him. Every single time I’ve said to not say a word about me, you've ignored it. You’ve continued to update him, your opinions of me, to him. He is not entitled to that. He is using you, to use me. to use Mother. You just choose to have that attention from him. He doesn't want you. Maybe when you were a young girl, that's why you told me what you have. But you chose to forget. Feeling wanted feels good.. but you were always wanted by me as your brother. You chose him always. And he made sure you'd choose him. To hurt me, and thus Mother.. the holes he felt entitled to cum Home to.

[theotherwhiteknight]

only mine, right?

my heart always lately feels about to burst

so many setbacks in life

blame is laying askewed upon me; not entirely

and yet wholly my responsibility to overcome

adversity, struggles aren’t a fiction in my story

nor rarities

but I should do better

or less badly

why, for me, is the thought of giving anything my-all

again

so irking? impassable.

Why does the past not let me go?

Would traveling through time release its throttle-hold on me?

Anything to break the grip around my heart, my lungs.

My blood, supposed-ly to sustain

flows at a cost, coursing its own way

not mine

going somewhere I wish it wouldn’t

a violation of my desires

away from my control

I want to correct it

track down where I went wrong

then make a new way

for my body

and my mind

[theotherwhiteknight]

butt or fly effect

 it's the butterfly effect kinda.    like, they would profit more from doing the right thing, endeavouring, striving to make only the best products, but they will never give up slowing down, destroying all of humanity, while they can still 'turn a profit’. The most profit could always be had from doing the best thing the right way, yet while a system exists of old, they will always continue to use it until there's nothing left

[theotherwhiteknight]

clockwork whoringe

You truly .can., could, live without a 24H schedule-routine. It really ispossible -nay, beneficial-even, creatively, to live on a program of hoursother than the diurnal rotation of the Sun. You /can\ full well survive or beexcelsior making out-unto your own paths of programmation.

[theotherwhiteknight]

political email list unsubscription comment

get the disease out of Washington. Remove conservatism. Protect our country by platforming the nation as a dynamic project which must ever be flexibly changeable. Protect the planet with logic & fact. We regulate, because we do have many humans who can navigate the bureaucracy -Our power will not come from stripping apart systems, dumbing them down, but rather by throwing more humans at the problems. Give us all a voice we will all listen to as if we are the one speaking. Logic, #notrump

[theotherwhiteknight]

You are “text” here

[theotherwhiteknight]

@MiloY

sexual identity is not an issue in your argument, what is is your misassociating people as if they are, or would 'just do'. You have a very low, pessimistic view of humanity, so you are inciting violence-through desperate measures. This is why you should stop instigating situations. Stop Trolling, please. If you don't know someone well, don't know facts about their life, then don't strive, go out of your way endeavouring trying to piss them off. You are pathetic in your taking advantage of the easily-distracted eyes & clingy claw of media. By trolling media, trying to get attention from people (without any justifiable reason), you are the epitomy of a terrorist. By functioning as a 'voice' without solutions-to problems, while under public scrutiny, you are not entertaining, you are merely a shit-disturber, to the detriment of Earth -like Trump is. There is no reason to speak if you are not entertaining or at the very .least., actually, debating. Please, please, if you would consider to cease, desist. If you are determined to be heard, then keep it to podcasts, for the good of our planet. 

[theotherwhiteknight]

incarceration

in the current justice system, punishment is usually doled out in a way which forces the 'criminal' to become a victim, which in-turn makes their life into a pure(r) system of exchange -everything is an exchange of value now for them. If they are in prison, value of items is forced into people in a way that to 'survive' the sacrifices people make are against their will otherwise. While this might be a good 'lesson' as a way to break people, so that they will function in a CAPITALIST society, it also requires INHERENTLY an inseperable sense of willing-to-risk-all attitude, because the stakes are life-or-death -or, as much of the fear is put into victims of the incarceration system -rape. sexual trades even willingly are a part of this system, so sexual violence is par for the course in jails. This is why the incarceration system will never work. A more similar system to the punishment of nations should be placed on citizens --now that we can track everyone, and DO ALREADY, so much simpler than in the past, with technology. We must relax punishments so far as incarceration, instead put more societal pressure on people to not commit crimes against others. And thus we also need more DEMOCRATIC SOCIALIST laws, regulating what is right or wrong, in all systems. Yes, there will be more common bureaucratic conflicts initially, as there is in all systems, but we HAVE more people ready to work on those conflicting details. We need more regulations, but with more people working involved in those fields on all details, so that our socio-infrastructure of humanity works better, as well as constructing more infrastructure physically on our lands for to have fewer disasters, coping with more population, and a healthier ecosystem.  

[theotherwhiteknight]

“Fiber. Give the Cows fiber. The world turns so very slowly. SMH(V). #psyllium #agar #chia #flax #inulin @Metamucil https://t.co/Sd0iTd5RIG”

[theotherwhiteknight]

keep in mind this is still based entirely on official machine-counted vote results. Colours would be altered If we were to ever find out that the machines had been hacked* to skew outcomes in the electoral college states just enough to give Trump a win (which is a very logical assumption one could make as to why polls were off by over their recognised margins of error -statistics don't lie-). *Remember how the week before election2016 many websites were struggling because of mass DoS attacks-- the unthinkable: caused by simple hacking of 'smart' devices like wirelessly-controlled 'harmless' integrated devices such as coffee-makers, light controllers, printers etc which were used to send billions of requests for connections to websites, overloading their server hosts so real human users could not access the sites? The most recent time hardware attacks such as these were committed on a major scale, by Israel & the US --all-but admitting to it, to shut down Iranian nuclear development. The reason we don't see these attacks on a day to day basis on such a scale is because counter measures are taken afterwards, so the state-actors (per usual) know they cannot expect equal success for a second, or third attack. However, there is a history of 'harmless' test attacks being committed just prior to the actual intended targets. The hackers want to be confident their plan will work, so there is almost always a less important attack testing the wires before their true act is played out. There is a very, very probable chance that states with electoral college votes going to Trump had their voting machines hacked, successfully, for just a few percentage points nudging. This is all that is required in a non-landslide race, a few hundred thousand votes here-and-there, even so few that although a hand-recount would find Hillary to have won, the percentages would've been within acceptable margins of error that we wouldn't even have considered a recount necessary at those specific voting regions. IE Nothing would've been red-flagged, no one would think it worth questioning the discrepancy between exit polls and final outcomes. This is all the fault of there being an Electoral College. --for had there been a discrepancy between polls and actual votes tallied, even of a few percentage points more than the poll margins-of-error, this would have been many millions of voters who did not have their votes counted in the end-result, rather than the ~million Clinton is currently holding above Trump in the popular vote. A million isn't enough for the masses to rise up loud enough against what is seen as an understandable margin of error. This is subtle, state-sponsored terrorism. Putin is very, very content right now. (whether or not he is the primary culprit, he’ll likely cop to whatever his involvement was, after the fact. He enjoys admitting afterwards to how he was able to get away with his crimes.)

img src: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1000933210030046&set=a.133287786794597.21742.100003401290351&type=3

[theotherwhiteknight]

the world would be a much better place had ben franklin been a president

[theotherwhiteknight]

tie’ng in

#FIXTHESYSTEM electoral college is unconstitutional by today's standards/ there is no argument against this fact. it's merely red-tape, but not a trivial thing clearly(!) --in this case the unwillingness of the two-party system to recognise a need for change decides the presidency, illegally against the constitution. again. And it will continue to be broken unless they amend, as it was designed to be, for the present circumstance. The forefathers intended amendments, they thought about the future. They did not want an electoral college to continue after it had become unnecessary. Just as they clearly knew the simple fact that a free United State(s) could not be run, all together, if we allow a two 'party' argument including a faith bias in political decision making. No Monetary bias, no faith bias. Only freedom to do as you please, so as you are not harming others.

http://www.npr.org/2016/11/17/502292749/critics-move-to-trash-the-electoral-college-but-its-not-likely-to-work

[theotherwhiteknight]

(peut-etre) you had to be there

The fault lies with the second party -they should not be a second party: There is no reason for a separate party as we are merely people trying to live without destroying, one would hope! There should be no root conflict to argue over, no core disagreement to unsettle two people meeting. That is a creation of religious belief -and why Religion is specifically barred from a civilised conversation with regards to governing a people. Sure, people are free to believe in fantasy, but we absolutely can not give those with a fantastical bias an authority to control others. Or, at least, we must not permit their authoritative actions of power to be affected by said bias. This is the primary concern of the constitution, why they felt it must be written-for, to denounce, as law, control-by-bias over others. This is further definitive evidence of why the 'conservative' party is tainted, as it is currently holding in its ..tenets..  that there should be room for an argument. There should be no emotion based on fantasy involved when discussing the system for people to coexist. The Law of the USA states that religiousity can have NO place in political decision-making. There is no other way to maintain a Republic, than to curtail religion to those who believe in it; limiting their influence from affecting the choices made by meetings of congress. There is only 1 cone-full of shit, and we are all .in. it. Nothing wrong with either of us, so long as we either work together, or apart non-harmoniously affecting other(s).

[theotherwhiteknight]

rere

That is the norm. Almost precisely the norm: %of Americans who voted. The outcome of the election, as it stands, will mean almost no one 'gets their way' other than the billionaire oligarchy .01%. Trump is the whitehead zit for the republicans having been bought out upon the creation of their 'party' since Jefferson created it to be an insider-watchdog office within the democratically elected offices of the executive branch of government only to find it become the weaker-link itself due to sell-out shills. Thusly The system of democracy opened its doors to 'permitting' even those who have ulterior motives -The Republican 'party' creation was an errant mistake. A blemish on the face of our nation-creators’ dream for an America ruled only by liberty & equality.

[theotherwhiteknight]

relevant attention

Cats're into virtual: They dig computers, gaming, entertainment systems, they get off watching thingses such as you.. Ferrets, on the other hand, no. don't. Ferrets want IRL; they require hands-on present moment tangible