The Pissy Princess Diaries

/ I don't know how to internet / she/her / 17 going on 84 / ¡minor! / Chronically bisexual / Pretty & pissed /

[strokeofserenity]

[dakotah-b]

“You attract the things you fear”

Oh god. A woman who wants to do cute fall stuff and kiss 😰😰

[msslsworld]

A single sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means that a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1,587.5TB.

[fituring]

Now that’s a lot of information to swallow

[dragongirltitties]

how do I delete other people’s posts

[snooppiitoast]

[bingle-official]

@satan-offical

[satan-offical]

Yeah there's a reason I was kicked out of heaven

Ehehe

[rathayibacter]

that pistachio completely sealed in its shell is scared and alone, like a miner trapped by rubble. you need to free it by any means necessary. get the gun from your dad's cabinet

[horreurscopes]

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

[spookykobold]

i' m something of a pigeons and rats myself

[theconcealedweapon]

[stxphxnxangxl-deactivated202506]

[homunculus-argument]

Many new parents are delighted to discover that if left to their own devices for long enough, their children will just go ahead and raise themselves. Later on, the same parents are shocked and dismayed to find that their children didn't raise themselves to obey and respect their parents.

[were--ralph]

Tumblr is unique bc like. It's collaborative shitposting and you can't opt in or out. You can just say something about your day then an evil wizard shows up to turn your post into something humorous

Every other site is just one and done, but here a post is a welcome mat to be funnier than you

[evilwizard]

yeah or sometimes you’ll see a post that hacks into your brain and forever rewrites your instinctual reaction to seeing a pineapple explode

[were--ralph]

[alphabetcompletionist]

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

26/26

[were--ralph]

[live-and-learn]

@i-say-ok You are the only way to improve this

[i-say-ok]

ok.

[thattransotter]

I love you i-say-ok

[i-say-ok]

ok. :] ♥️♥️♥️

[free-post-store]

$0

[is-silksongg-released-yet]

Silksong is not released yet

[were--ralph]

what the fuck happened to this post

shoo shoo get out of here

[were--ralph]

Looking through the notes and. Why is literally (literally) every gimmick blog drawn to this post in particular

What is going on

[porcelain-face-art]

[were--ralph]

[woo-in-different-lengths]

woooooooooooooooooooooooo

[amen-break-detector]

Amen Break not detected

[bear-detector]

[balloon-hater]

was there any balloons detected

[bear-detector]

that’s not my area of expertise, sorry

[baba-is-blog]

POST IS OVERRUN

[toxifoxx]

i hate when you google a word and some fucking company comes up instead. Do you think you are more important than the english dictionary you piece of shit corporation

[drumlincountry]

If your life is horrible and you need a new source of meaning and direction.... Do NOT find religion. Learn to identify plants.

[baejax-the-great]

the faw I just guffed

[baejax-the-great]

sweating buckets during the quarterly earnings report--the economy, it's-it's in shambles

[konoko]

[homunculus-argument]

Lying to someone about how risky something is to make it seem safer than it is because you know they wouldn't do it if they knew it was dangerous: Shitty. Evil. Unforgivable.

Lying to someone about how risky something is to make it seem more dangerous than it is because you know they'd love the thrill of danger while you know you're actually perfectly safe: Actually that's hilarious. Fun for everybody involved.

[mihai-florescu]

[mumintroll]

u survive literally every single event in your life & still every time a new event happens you feel like this is the event that will kill you and that you will never move on from but actually you will continue to survive like you always have bc u have a 100% win rate of surviving events. btw