Who I really am... @therollingpintoyourcleaver - Tumblr Blog

Something they never tell you is that white coat syndrome can translate to vet appointments too!

Thanks for the panic attack, but it's not even my appointment!

#veterinary medicine #white coat syndrome #pets

endlessly frustrating that I was never taught what "studying" actually MEANT. I STILL don't know and all the advice assumes you know! WHAT DO I *DO* WHAT DOES THAT VERB *MEAN*.

Don't tell me to remove distractions, make time, set up a space. Tell me what "study" MEANS. Because otherwise I just sit there reading the book over and over and stressing out because I don't know what the hell I should be doing.

It's so frustrating that people listen to me talk and think I'm "smart" and don't need help. I WAS NEVER TAUGHT ANYTHING!! Learning things in a classroom is literally a fucking nightmare and the only reason I APPEARED to learn anything at all was because I'm a chatterbox that grasped reading early. But that's ALL I learned. I never learned how to study or how to learn something when it was hard. And nobody helps me even when I tell them very clearly that I need help and what I need help with, because they assume self-awareness = being able to do it on my own. NO! Stop abandoning me because I speak well!

Number one problem I have in adult learning classrooms is that they expect you to WRITE while LISTENING. I can only do one of those at a time! Number two problem is NO TEXTBOOK. The textbook for college classes is often so fucking different and unhelpful compared to secondary and primary school, where the textbook is divided into sections with questions and so on. In college I got assigned books that were NOT textbooks at all, because I was supposed to treat the lecture like the textbook. Well write it down then if it's so important! Let me READ it. How the hell are hard of hearing students supposed to learn anything like this! (answer: we're not, I know we're not because exclusion is what this system is fucking built on)

Accomodation is a joke. You need a note from a doctor so you need health insurance and time and a car to go to a doctor and then you need to FIND a doctor that actually can PROVE you are disabled, which is hard because well 99% of your body is inside you where nobody can see it. You can't PROVE I'm hard of hearing with a hearing test, because it's not that kind of hard of hearing. It's a processing problem. I do ONE thing at a time and I don't think that should be a disability but it IS when you're in school so here we are. And even WITH the school's idea of "reasonable accomodation" it's a crock of shit. They don't accomodate you. They have ONE thing they decide they are going to do for all students and that's IT.

And that's why I hate school but seem so "smart". I'm not smart. I'm good at reading and writing. Not listening. Can't listen for shit. Not if you want me to remember it or write it down while I'm listening. Give me a fucking book to read.

I'm just. I'm so restless and BORED and want to learn new things but that is locked away from me by HOW you are forced to learn them. And that doesn't even get into the problems I have with other students, who are disruptive, stupid, and abusive. Fucking loathe other students.

Anyway, the POINT is, TODAY I learned even a little bit of what "studying" actually means and I think all the advice about it really doesn't grasp how to explain what it is so much as they think you don't know how often to do it. This is the fucking thing I mean when I say that the higher in education you go the worse the actual skill at TEACHING gets.

thelawfulchaotic

As an adhd who went undiagnosed until the end of law school, and a smartie who didn’t learn how to study until after college because I could barely manage to get by on reading comprehension and bullshit generation,

God I wish someone had taught me even a hint of the law school outline method of studying. In law school, when you hit the end of a course and you’re prepping for an exam, you outline the whole fuckin thing — topics, legal principles under those topics, definitions under those legal principles, and case law under those definitions (with variation in this related to how the legal subject itself is organized). This was a way of processing and interacting with the material that put it together into one coherent whole, and it felt So Good.

Outlining is now my one (1) study technique and it’s been pretty great.

junestrings

a lot of people dont care about insect biomass collapse bc when they hear we are losing 2.5% of the insect biomass per year they just imagine the cockroach and housefly population decreasing by that much. they dont realize those are among the only ones that will remain unbothered

junestrings

you can make a little oasis right where you are, and it matters

headspace-hotel

every year of restoring native plants I see a great increase in the insect populations, and loads of new insects i never saw before (all of them harmless--the insects that are harmful or parasitic on humans are the main ones being unaffected by the decrease in insect populations)

(a large part of) the problem is Plant Sameness. we must restore plant diversity

meanplastic

ellieisnotoldyet-deactivated202

I’ve been reading through the notes and I just have to say that I absolutely promise, promise, promise you that nobody in the dental surgery is there to judge you, and we’re certainly not mad at you. Cavities happen. Even to dentists. You think your dentist has a mouth full of virgin teeth? Unlikely! They’ve all visited eachother’s surgeries to get a quickie filling (ooh, saucy) between patients. They understand that life can get in the way of oral hygiene sometimes. They understand that life’s too short not to eat chocolate. They understand that you’ve got to live. I swear to you that everyone in that room is just there to help you. Please, please, please don’t stop going to the dentist because you’re worried they’ll be mad at you. It’s really not the case. They understand. It’s fine. It’s really, really fine. Please go to the dentist. I promise you it’s ok.

realityremedy

You would not believe how comforting this is.

sydcores-moved-deactivated20210

ineffectualdemon

I had some badly bleeding gums awhile back after a depressive episode and my dentist has access to my prescriptions and I was on an anti depressants and antipsychotic at the time

he asked if my mental health was a factor and when I admitted it was he said “I can understand that it gets hard to do things like brush your teeth at times like that. Just do the best you can and brush your teeth at least once a day whenever you have motivation but if you can’t don’t beat yourself up. I know you’re doing your best”

When I tell you I almost cried

sapphicwiles

I tell this to the kids I treat so often when they’re old enough to ask what getting a cavity means for them. I tell them, “If you get a cavity, the only thing that happens is that we fix it. I’m not gonna be upset, I’m not gonna think you did anything wrong, I’m just gonna help you fix it.”

veggiemedleys

see my problem is if i “listen to my body” it literally only wants to lie down and take naps, all the time

katsdom

Mine wants more chocolate and another glass of wine.

enki2

transcyberism

ok but this unironically works. talk about how the working class is exploited and you can basically sell full-on marxism to your average republican if you do it right. all you have to do is avoid the words "Marx," "capitalism," "socialism," "communism," "means of production," etc - just use synonyms. say "big business" or "corporate shareholder interests" instead of "capitalists." say "a government that prioritizes the needs of the working people" instead of "socialism." it WORKS. I've DONE it. the hardest sell are usually things like social and racial equity, welfare, things like that, because people have been primed with the racist/classist idea that those things are somehow unfair - but you can get your foot in the door to getting them to buy into those too if you start with class issues. read up on your theory, make sure you REALLY understand your own ideology, because that will enable you to reword it and successfully sell it.

a-ginger-in-black

In my experience, you can often help sell 'welfare' stuff by appealing to self-interest with a touch of Aren't We Great.

Disability benefits: "I mean, sure, there are probably some sad sacks who are gaming the system, there always are, but hell, with the amount of taxes we pay, the government can afford a few freeloaders, right? I'd rather pay for a couple people who don't really need it than not have the system at all for if I need it, or my kids do, or whatever. I mean shit happens. What if some asshole drunk driver puts me in the hospital and it takes me a year to get back on my feet? Or Heaven forbid something permanent happens. I'll sure be glad that I can get disability then, won't I?"

UBI: "I dunno, the kind of guy who'll just sit on the couch playing Call of Duty all day if he doesn't have to work, I kinda don't want him on my job site anyway. That type is just taking up a place that you could fill with someone who'll actually get the job done, you know? You end up short-handed even though you technically have enough people because everyone else has to pick up his slack. And it'd mean that if your boss is a dick you can tell him to shove it and not worry your kids are gonna go hungry while you find a better place. We can sure as hell afford it."

Racial equity: "I've got a lot more in common with a Black guy who's just trying to get the job done than I do with some rich white asshole who thinks the sun shines out of his ass because of how much money mommy and daddy have."

trans-girl-nausicaa

We need to standardize clothing sizes. This is fucking stupid. Pass a federal law or something. I’m sick of this shit.

personal-progress-dropout

“Well, it would confuse the kids if trans people were teachers.”

You know what else is confusing? Being told my entire life that I would be exclusively attracted to men when in fact I am a raging queer. And you’re not giving kids enough credit, if they can handle topics like ‘you have a set of earthly parents and a set of Heavenly Parents and both are real parents to you’ then they should understand the concept of being trans.

Also, I’m not sure if they’ll care. God knows me and my friends were only in primary for the songs and the fruit snacks.

inbabylontheywept

My Bishop called me to be a teacher when I was 19, knowing I didn’t believe Joseph Smith was a prophet. He said he was trusting me not to betray the trust of my student's parents by directly teaching anything they’d disagree with. When I asked what to do if I strongly disagreed with the lesson, he said I had permission to replace it with a different one.

(He got called to be a mission President a year after that - when he got home it was the first time I'd attended church in since he left. I still call him my Bishop. He was, and remains, a great man.)

Anyway, it was the BoM year, so the number of lessons I skipped was non-trivial. I think I repeated the 3rd Nephi, Chapter 17 lesson alone at least six times to avoid some of the dumber ones. Sometimes the kids just wanted to play outside so we’d sneak some of the teaching aids out of the library (mostly fake crowns and other costume gear) and go to the grass. I’d tell them we were reenacting BoM scenes, but it was always just silliness. The boys loved it when I joined their stick battles and they could all gang up on me and chase me around the lawn, and the girls liked when I joined their dramas. Especially murder mysteries. They’d present me with some sort of weird 8 year old parking lot jungle juice in a paper cup, and I’d take a small sip and then spend a minute or two “dying” from poison. Sometimes I barely had to fake it. I'm pretty sure they gave me straight gasoline once.

There was a set of fraternal twins in that group, a brother and a sister, and one day the boy asked why I wasn't on a mission yet. I told him I didn't know how to answer that, and he apologized, and I told him you have nothing to apologize for. His sister looked appalled as soon as he brought it up (mission stuff is a huge Mormon taboo) but when the day was ending, she stayed behind to help me fold chairs. And when that was done she asked if she'd see me in heaven.

And it struck me how much it must have been worrying her, for her to stay late and to overcome the taboo of asking. So I told her I would do my best, and she said that had to be enough, and I gave her a hug and walked her to parents, then got behind the wheel of my ridiculous half-spackle car and bawled like a little kid. I cried so hard my shoulders hurt. Then I went to the gas station and got a hotdog.

The people making these policies aren't afraid that the kids are going to be confused. They're afraid that they won't be. That they'll look up at you, and love you, and tell you that whatever you're doing has to be enough. They're afraid that if you helped their kids be happy and live a good life, those kids would love you, and then they would have to love you too. And so to keep their hatred safe, they throw you and what you could offer their kids away. It is cowardly, and selfish, and so sickening that it is hard to look at.

And in the end, all I could do was stop looking.

I am so sorry.

berkeleygirl3

loveridden1999

thesituation

i don’t feel like debating that topic much farther bc truthfully if it comes down to “women will lose to men in every sport bc they don’t have as much testosterone!!!!!” my elite feminist response is honest to god “ok we will lose with honor as equals instead of having our own special Easy Mode Female category so we can win amongst ourselves” like i’m sorry i just can’t be persuaded. i’m a brick wall. i want co-ed sports

thesituation

i bring a sort of “women can lose at some sports against men if it means being regarded as equals” vibe to the debate that “testosterone objectively increases performance” people don’t really like

maidslime

There is no actual, tangible reason why we allow people to starve, to be homeless, to suffer and die needlessly. Food is plentiful. Empty homes are plentiful. Medicine is plentiful. It’s hidden away behind constructs and we pretend those constructs mean something. There is an empty home and a homeless family, give them it. There is a sick child and common medicine to treat it, give it to them. There is a starving person and so much food wasted by corporations or hidden behind a dollar sign, feed them.

luck-system-shenanigans

i feel like im a weird age where i got just a blurry glimpse at the world Before. it used to be cold in the mornings and websites had fun games and the search results showed you what you searched for. covid wasn't a thing. can anybody fucking hear me. did i dream it all????

doriangraysrockcollection

i must say, i am a huge fan of when a book is in the middle of a very exciting plot containing many interesting problems when out of nowhere for a few pages it's like, "hey by the way, real quick, here's a detailed explanation of the city's water filtration system! i'm telling you this for a reason and you should worry about it. anyway! haha okay back to the plot" and you just get to be Scared for a while

doriangraysrockcollection

i am kissing you on the mouth right now

you are the only person who understands me. you and the person who tagged a series of unfortunate events

cowboyhatesithere

250 years and most native tribal groups continue to not be federally recognized. Embarrassing!

cowboyhatesithere

Hey so a small thing that literally everyone who sees this is capable of is correcting any “used to” statements about native people in this country.

“Native people used to live in this National Park” No. They still do.

“Native people used to tell these stories-” No. They still do.

“Native people used to use this plant as a natural remedy-” No. They still do.

Better yet, familiarize yourself with the tribes local to you. Odds are, they do not yet have federal recognition. You can still read the stories they have to share, you can share their ongoing battle for recognition with others, you can sign petitions and spread the word to others to do so as well. But do something.

coffeepeople

One time a friend told me that if she wanted to have a chill night she would come to me and ask for tea and a book to read. I didn’t like tea at the time, but I always made sure my cupboards had them in case she needed a quiet night. One time I told my boss that I loved oranges, but couldn’t peel them because of my nails. For a year he made sure to peel me one at least once a week. Once my friends gave me a made up superlative of “most likely to have a pen they could borrow” and ever since I’ve made sure I always carry a pen with me. A long time ago, my high school librarian told me that no one would care what my grade in my sophomore chemistry class was if I’m bringing them doughnuts and asking them about their day.

coffeepeople

Sometimes friendship is about carrying pens and peeling oranges. But the point is, surrounding yourself with people who you want to do the little things for. The point of it all is bringing in the doughnuts because you’ve found the people who deserve the doughnuts.

big-smiling-monkey

How sweet it is to be with people you enjoy taking care of

stickandthorn

I’d die on the hill that “stranger danger” is a deeply unhelpful mentality to have. “Ooooh everyone is out to get me they’re all gonna perpetrate harm that’s actually more likely to come from someone I already know. I better never talk to anyone in my community who I don’t already know, just to be safe. I’m sure there are no other biases interwoven with this mentality” like oh my god human traffickers do not just randomly spawn in every parking lot. You don’t have to go solo hitchhiking across the country but you also don’t have to live in fear that every guy on the street is the knife man who’s gonna get you. Like have situational awareness, yeah. But most of the time the guy on the street is not knife man he’s actually just a guy on the street and he’s probably pretty chill, and you’re driving yourself crazy by living in a constant state of unnecessary fear.

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