The TK Wizardry

"A high enough level of technology is virtually indistinguishable from magic" He/him A little technomancer with very big dreams and projects (the biggest one is the wizard tower for now (do ask me about it))

[whatcha-thinkin]

In your opinion, what is the most proper way for a wizard to imprison someone?

conjure or construct a cage

conjure shackles and chains

animate ropes or vines to bind them

bind them in as much ice as possible

miniaturize them and confine them to a bottle or perhaps dollhouse

curse them with blind, deaf, and mute

curse them with amnesia or feeblemind

petrify them into a statue

time stop or soul trap

full body paralysis

just kill them and get some fool to resurrect them again when needed

for maximum effect and efficiency the wizard should [tag]

Voting ended onApr 4

[evilwizard]

gnome scientists have discovered how to split the atomberry

[translatingpoststogerman]

böserzauberer

gnomwissenschaftler haben herausgefunden wie man die atombeere spaltet

[evilwizard]

clearly some sort of archaic gnome language

[archaicgnomelanguagetranslator]

böserzauberer

eindeutig eine art archaische Gnomensprache

[medievaljournalist]

so you know that cursed sword that slowly drives whoever wields it mad & causes mysterious illnesses? you guessed it: scabbard was absolutely loaded with black mold

[circusheart]

But the spike pit adds so much personality to the living room☹️

[shebobonmydylan]

At work again today, invoking one of the plagues on the whole town just because

[wizard-council-museum-clerk]

Off work early today, chanting one of the songs of health around the whole town, just because.

[thetwizardry]

Not showing up to work today, putting a single drop of milk into every water container in the whole town, just because

[homunculus-argument]

I know I'm not the first person to observe this, but banishment is a hell of a funny punishment. I now sentence you to fuck off. I don't care where, just get out of my sight. Go on. Git.

[billbug]

looks like i was googling some dark sorcerer shit last time i used my web browser

[spectre-squared]

@evilwizard i presume this was your doing?

[evilwizard]

i was using a VPN (villain-possessed neighbor)

[the-wizard-of-rhyme]

never kill yourself

instead

assemble an ikea shelf

[wizard-council-museum-clerk]

So sayeth Lars, a swedish elf.

[salmonella-destroyer-of-worlds]

[mug-of-beans]

“The old magic persists thanks to it’s unfathomable power.”

No, the old magic persists because the new magic can’t run the legacy spells I need to do my job, and keeps trying to install spirits I don’t want or need onto my orb.

[the-gnomish-bastard]

I CAST

The Game

[wizard-council-bureaucrat]

Not everything is a curse, sometimes it’s just Tuesday

[wizard-shadow-league]

I cast

Eternal Tuesday

[wizard-council-museum-clerk]

So that's why yesterday was Tuesday! And the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that, and the day before that.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[kayjellybeans]

NO FUCKIN WAY

[siley-the-wizard]

Top 5 spells banned by the wizard government

[wizard-council-museum-clerk]

The wizard council government doesn't want you to know this, but you can actually fill out this form to become one of the few people licensed to use this spell.

[wrenchswango]

I love chain lightening what a classic spell. fuck you and you and you and you and you and

[tomofplants]

Most wizard towers actually DO have basements! Great question! Don’t ask what happens down there.

[highestelf420-deactivated202604]

I have at least 6 basements in my tower and I have no idea what’s going in in at least half of them. Maybe I should get down there sometime and check it out but I’m scared of bugs, and even worse, basement dwellers….

[themagnificentcheeselord]

Depending on how long since you've last checked, those basements could all be dungeons now, probably a lich or two taking up residence down there

[codalius-the-enigmatic]

Funny story, I actually once tried to add an infinite basement under my tower so that I could practice some of my more dangerous spells. But, every time I tried the spell, the walls were covered in this off-yellow wallpaper, the weird lights on the ceiling were emitting this annoying buzzing sound and the floor was a grossly wet carpet.

It didn’t match the decor of the rest of my tower so I just closed it off and continued practicing in the mostly uninhabited forest and the occasional government building like I did before.

[dr-axolotl-ataraxis]

“testicular torsion” this, “mend buttcrack” that, i summon my enchanted steed 2014 Toyota Camry and cast

[thymesignature]

Wizards always recount battles as these grand feats of summoning. Fireballs and lightning raining down. Aural monsters clashing until finally one wizard is overwhelmed and destroyed utterly. But, since non-mages can't see magic, to most onlookers it's just two old men staring intently at each other until one of them collapses from a heart attack.