Peter Solarz

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@throughtheframe
Adhd things that need to be talked more about (because adhd is more than just not being able to focus)
Short term memory loss. Seriously, I forget things that are said to me 5 minutes ago or will forget I opened a soda and will have 3 open cans by the end of the day with none of them finished. A lot of people don’t know about this, and so they think that I don’t care enough to listen to what their saying (which I do!!! I just can’t remember it) or that I’m lazy because of all the things I don’t end up doing because I forgot I had to do them.
Lack of motivation. Listen, I honestly can’t do anything on my own for the most part. I have to have someone else tell me to do something or have them set goals for me because it’s so damn difficult for me to do it myself. Again, I’m not lazy, I just have trouble doing things on my own
Language processing difficulties. Sometimes, English and words in general don’t work out in my head. Reading or even listening to someone talk can be extremely difficult for me to understand because my brain just won’t work. Why? Can’t tell you 99% of the time! It’s not that I need to focus, it’s that my brain is just buffering.
Needing multiple forms of stimulation at all times. I have a tin of putty that I keep in my book bag and a smaller one I keep in my purse at all times because of this reason. If I want to learn anything at school, I have to be able to look at something, hear something, and have something to do with my hands. Otherwise, it’s probably a big nope for me. What’s frustrating is that since this isn’t talked about enough, I often get called childish or get looked down upon because I have to play with silly putty in a highschool class.
Hyperfixation. Adhd can mean not being able to focus, but it’s also focusing too much on something! This can mean anything from a certain interest someone is in to at that moment, to something like a song that has been stuck in your head for a week. People seem to not understand this and think that we’re boring and have nothing else to talk about or that we’re annoying because we keep bringing the same things up over and over again but that’s not the case. Trust me, I’m annoyed with the hit or miss song too, but at least it’s not playing in your head constantly like it is for me
These are all the ones I can think of right now, but it’s really important we talk about this stuff more. All of these things that come with adhd can be very frustrating for those around us because they don’t understand that we can’t help it. To an outsider, it may just look like a person with adhd is just lazy and doesn’t care, when it’s actually just how our brains are wired. None of us want to be frustrating to others!! In fact, all of this frustrates us too!! But since adhd is just known as “not being able to focus”, people don’t realize what all comes with it and how it can really fuck everyone over.
Please add more if you can think of anything else!! I’m horrible with lists lol
RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) is also a fairly common experience of ppl with adhd! RSD is an extreme emotional sensitivity caused by the perception of failing, or being rejected, mocked, or criticised. (key word: perception. the feelings of rejection/failure aren’t always very rational). it seems to not get enough attention, even in discussions about neurodivergency, which rlly sucks b/c it’s a very painful thing to experience… it often also comes with suicidal ideation, and since not a lot of people know what it is, in some cases it’s misdiagnosed as serious mood disorders like bpd or bipolar :-(
^^^ I was gonna add RSD, glad someone else did! Also (this is long and I know I left a lot out/probably messed up but I don’t have the brain rn to proofread and these are Important):
shit… I had some stuff to add, I promise, I can’t remember
ummm ugh I really did though
oh! Oh yeah!
ADHD is an executive function deficit disorder (EFDD)
A lot of the below points are related/connected to executive dysfunction, bc it’s such a huge part of our brain structure, even with the help of meds. Strap in for some psychology fun, folks!
Our Limbic System: it’s like a Boggart - terrifying, in constant flux, and absolutely ridikkulus.
Amygdala chaos. Our amygdalas (part of limbic system in brain that regulates fight/flight/freeze) operate at extremes. This ties in with RSD a lot cause it can cause us to “overreact” with anger, despair, intense fear/panic, and/or a sort of paralysis that makes it near impossible to deal with difficult situations
Messed-up reward centers. We don’t “procrastinate” so much as we just don’t have the natural function to self-motivate. Also, impatience.
Hippocampus - in charge of memory & auditory processing
Wernicke’s area - responsible for speech comprehension
Broca’s area - responsible for producing speech
Basal ganglia - habit-learning and forming, schedule, routine
ADHD symptoms aren’t selective. People often say stuff like “if it was important you’d remember” or “you can focus on things you enjoy, so clearly you CAN focus and just choose not to.” Um, no. Symptoms can apply to anything. Even stuff we really care about we can forget or fail to get up the motivation for.
Hypersensitivity - we can get sensory overload easily, or have way too little stimulus, both of which impair almost all functioning
Sleep problems. Our options are insomnia, hypersomnia, or oscillating wildly between the two.
Neurotransmitters hate us! :) Too much, too little, too unregulated, synapse issues, you name it
Norepinephrine - Oh, norepinephrine… please return from the war. This is the Big One. The thing that first comes up when talking about ADHD in the brain. It’s in charge of motivation, stress/excitability/reactionary regulation, attention, memory storage and retrieval, alertness, maintaining focus and task endurance, processing sensory information, priority-setting, intentional behavior, thought-organization, executive functioning involved in reasoning, learning, and problem solving, etc.
Dopamine - our reward centers are messed up. It takes a LOT more for us to get a dopamine boost, and even then it’s much lower and duller than neurotypicals get. Exercise, food, whatever it is - it isn’t nearly as effective for us when it comes to depression/anxiety/mood problems in general. It can help, but not in the same way.
Serotonin - influences mood, social behavior, sleep, and memory.
Basically our frontal lobes are little shits (emphasis on little… they’re small) You know, the part of the brain that does that thing called ~Executive Functioning?~
Goal-oriented tasks - we often can’t just do something simply bc it needs to be done. That’s not enough.
Delayed gratification - doesn’t process unless instant results/rewards/consequences
Our perception of time is WAY off - either something is Now, or it’s Not Now and therefore waaaay in the future or past. If a project is due in a month, it will Always be a month away even the day prior to the due date. If I look at the clock and it’s 12pm, it will Be 12pm until I look at a clock again, even if I know it’s been a while since then
Impulse control - again with not understanding the concept of long-term. We also don’t inherently understand mood regulation or how to handle outbursts
Social behavior - uh, yeah. That can be hard. Sometimes we’re completely unaware of our surroundings and how we’re acting, but then sometimes RSD and social anxiety kick in and we become hyper-aware of every nugget of body language, tone, expression, etc., interpreting everything as negative (I’m making them uncomfortable, they hate me, I’m being weird, I’m stressful to be around, they coughed probably as a sign I should stop doing something. Or start? Oh no.) We blurt stuff out even if it’s totally unrelated or unhelpful, lots of times when we know we shouldn’t but we just? can’t help it??
Decision-making - hahahaha yep. remember fight/flight/freeze? Yeah this is “freeze’s” favorite place to butt in. Either our minds go blank and we cannot think of any options, or it’s exploding with Too Many possibilities to think through properly. This usually results in doing nothing, panicking, or crap what was the last one I was gonna say?? Oh right the impulse control thing again - we just do Something without foresight. Which brings us to
planning - thinking ahead is hard enough. We CAN plan and be good at it, but sticking with it is super difficult. Which is obnoxious bc being on a schedule in some way is known to be helpful for ADHD… oof.
Initiating, following through on, and switching between tasks. A lot of the time we honestly don’t know how to start something, or even how to go about thinking about starting something. I can’t think enough right now to fill this one out but you get it.
Working Memory: The ability to hold things in your mind. HAHAHA unless it’s something lodged in there for months there’s no telling if I can remember a n y t h i n g
Comorbid Disorders - Because of the way our brains are structures and how they function, ADHD has a SUPER high comorbitity rate, meaning there are often more disorders at play. For instance, ADHD nearly always comes with built-in depression and anxiety. Ppl with ADHD have higher likelihoods than the general population to also have: bipolar (type I or II, cyclothymia, dysmithia, rapid-cycling, etc.), OCD, BPD (ADHDers can have BPD as well, but it IS often misdiagnosed because of how similar it is to RSD), dyslexia, eating disorders, etc. Many ADHD symptoms are shared by/overlap with other things inherently, even without separate diagnoses, like being prone to chronic sadness or feelings of worthlessness, inability to regulate emotion, etc.
ADHD IS A REAL DISORDER THAT GOES WAY BEYOND WHAT YOU THINK
I know we ADHD peeps have trouble reading lots of text at once, so
TL;DR: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!??!?!!!??!!!
Nice additions y'all
I did actually skim ahead to the TL;DR about ¾ of the way through, hello I am a total adhd cliche in the middle of an insomnia spell (when a month ago all I could do was sleep) now if you don’t mind I’m going to go play ukulele for hours until I remember everything else I gotta do
When I have brain fog and can’t word, it feels like the noise a dial-up modem makes. Thankfully, “verbing the noun” is a more common thing people do with their speech nowadays, so I can get by.
Every time I run across a post about ADHD like this it makes me go “Oh wow. I do almost all these things. I think maybe I have this. I should go to the doctor”
Then I don’t go to the doctor, usually because of said issues. Super fun.
So Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with ADHD is a GREAT book on this kind of thing. It’s helped my husband tremendously. Really recommend it.
Mmh. Imagining trying to tell That Guy that he might have an issue with the words “deficit” and “disorder” in it when I can’t even smile if he dies in a video game in an amusing way without him screaming at me because he assumes I’m mocking him and think lowly of him for dying in a video game…
INTERESTING/HELPFUL READS:
19 Ways to Declutter Your Life That Will Prevent Anxiety
How and Why to Build ‘White Space’ Into Your Day
34 Most Brilliantly Simple Tricks Everyone Needs to Know
According To Science, There Might Be an Upside To Anxiety
Hacks You Can Use to Organize Your Entire Life
6 Easy Ways To Make Extra Money in 2019
Actually Brilliant Advice That Seems Useless Until You Try It
7 Amazing Reasons To Learn A New Language
10 Genius Smartphone Features That Most People Don’t Know About Yet
37 Things That’ll Help You Get. Stuff. Done. In 2019
Crazy Conspiracy Theories That Actually Turned Out to Be True
10 Legitimately Easy Tips for Getting Your Home Decluttered and Organized
The Most Satisfying KonMari Before and Afters
50 Myths About Your Body You Should Stop Believing Right Now
23 Insanely Easy Tips and Tricks Every Driver Should Know
I’ve read some of these articles and wow they’re amazing! Life hacks for dayssss.
spiral
i.
once, in a dream, i saw a younger version of myself, & she asked me, indignantly, who turned you into this wilted lily, this invisible moon?
i said nothing and walked away
and she resumed photographing flowers that she
did not yet realize are weeds
ii.
the years are like water droplets from a leaky faucet, collecting behind me
and before i can even take a step forward i hear the drip of another year falling
iii.
i gave my heart to summer and my mind to winter
i am lightening above above a ghost town; i am fire for no one
sometimes i don’t really exist.
sometimes i exist quite painfully.
you have to learn to interrupt automatic negative thoughts. it won’t feel natural, but it’s important to be deliberate in changing bad thoughts into compassionate, self-healing ones in order to feel better and happier in the long term.
***use opposite action when your emotions do NOT fit the facts or when acting on your emotions is NOT effective***
follow these suggestions when your emotion is NOT JUSTIFIED by the facts or is NOT EFFECTIVE!!! (it says all this on the first sheet but it’s the most important thing to note here!!)
these are the opposite action handouts i got in my dbt course! very helpful especially for bipolar, borderline & mood disorders :-)
hope others find these helpful!! please read and feel free to reblog !
FYI:
This will pass.
You have survived this before, you will survive again.
These are just feelings, they will go away
This won’t last forever.
I can feel bad and still choose to take a new and healthy direction.
I feel this way because of my past experiences, but I am safe right now.
My mind is not always my mind.
Thoughts are just thoughts - they’re not necessarily true or factual
This is difficult and uncomfortable, but it’s only temporary.
I can use my coping skills and get through this
Stop, and breathe, I can do this
Keep calm and carry on
Just a few of my favorites that I learned in treatment. Stay strong, everyone. <3
me: *says anything to express my feelings* me: actually you know what i take it back that’s manipulative and also i’m garbage and it doesn’t matter because i’m not important so forget i even said anything
via weheartit
no offence but do i look like i understand anything
Me at 4:50am: I’m thriving. I’m happy and enjoying life for the first time in years
Me at 4:51am: I don’t deserve to fucking live
Me to myself while laying on the floor crying: stop being so god damn irrational you pussy ass bitch !!!!!!
someone: -doesn’t reply with as much enthusiasm as me-
me: well if you want me to die you don’t have to be so damn cryptic about it