everyone sing a squiddly song

deviantart.com/sqdpxl nastykhan.tumblr     squeedlejuice.tumblr nastyquill.tumblr

[despazito]

[sleepdeprivedsurgeon]

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

[thinkingabout-girls]

the funniest moment in dungeon meshi is when marcille is having her nightmare and brings up her dead bird while also talking about her dead dad, saying “papa and pipi” and laios automatically assumes pipi is marcilles third nonbinary parent on top of her mom and dad

[ouppygirlcity]

[themysteriousmurasamecastle]

there’s this guy on tiktok who has like a giant fucking contraption that concentrates sunlight onto one spot and he just posts videos of him vaporizing shit in his yard with it but the kicker is that he sounds exactly like butthead

[ijaazat]

[thisrobotbeatcaptcha]

I can think of at least one other! Yuri Knorozov, the linguist who translated the Mayan language!

Russia put him on a stamp in 2022:

[demilypyro]

it's funny how "press F to pay respects" was such a gigantic meme that it seems to have permanently affected the way we talk online. people use it completely genuinely and unironically. had a bad day? F. died in a videogame? F. I see it constantly in Discord, Twitch and ingame chats. like it's actually being used as common shorthand. when it only gained prominence because of how hilariously stupid this screenshot is

[psychotic-gerard]

love seeing revisionism in the wild “free the nipple never meant you can walk around topless every where that’s still sexual harassment it just meant for like breastfeeding and stuff”no it literally means you should be able to walk around topless anywhere because get this. breasts aren’t fucking sexual organs.

[roguebombshell]

I remember when I was about 12, I watched a show on TLC that followed people as they got somewhat uncommon medical procedures.

There was one episode with a trans woman getting different gender-affirming operations, including breast implants. It showed the procedure, and (what I found so fascinating that it's stuck with me for decades), as soon as the doctor put the implant in, a censor blur popped up on the nipple.

And you just know there was a meeting between the TLC lawyers and the editors and producers of the show to discuss what the difference was between a "man nipple" (can be shown) and a "woman nipple" (no no must obscure, 'tis naughty). And they decided that as soon as the implant goes in and the nipple has more mass behind it, that's the moment when it becomes a woman's nipple and must be hidden to comply with TV rules.

But it's the same nipple. On the same person. I know what it looks like; I just saw it. But TV and obscenity rules are rules, and the rules say woman nipple = sexual and therefore explicit, but man nipple = neutral, just fine.

"Free the Nipple" was calling out arbitrary bullshit like that, because someone just existing with their body parts should not be considered obscene, and the double standard that men can be topless but women can't is so blatantly ridiculous. All nipples are just nipples. If you get turned on or bothered by them, that's on you.

[bitchesgetriches]

Companies That Tried to Save Money With AI Are Now Spending a Fortune Hiring People to Fix Its Mistakes

Companies that rushed to replace human labor with AI are now shelling out to have IRL workers to fix the technology's screwups.

Delicious. We love to see it.

[tobaeus]

@ralfmaximus

[ralfmaximus]

Ultimately, she spent 20 hours redoing the copy from scratch — and with her $100-per-hour rate, that meant her client was shelling out $2,000 for copy that likely would have ended up being far cheaper had a human just written it in the first place.

I love stories like this.

[tacofriend]

Get peer reviewed!

[lierdumoa]

[theprofessional-amateur]

Recently on Unhelpful File Labels in the Archives:

On-Going Project. Folders were empty.

Well Written Articles, 1999. There were no articles in this folder. There were a lot of budget reports though.

Stuff. You are killing me smalls.

Section 569-055 Knowingly burning or exploding. This was just papers shoved between files, I have a lot of questions and zero answers.

[theprofessional-amateur]

Some previous “winners”

Miscellaneous Old Stuff. *long sigh*

Other Idiocy. Honestly, this one was fitting.

(R) Man Claws. I have so many questions. Like, SO many

Keep for historical reasons. Neat.

Unprocessed Internal Provenance. Or how I answer the question “so what brings you to therapy?”

[theprofessional-amateur]

•••Possibilities for 2005••• you can really feel the optimism, which almost makes up for the pile of nonsense

[theprofessional-amateur]

Dogs Against Drugs. Ok McGruff.

[theprofessional-amateur]

The Lawsuit. Because in a series of legal files for an org over 100 years old, I am sure there is only one.

[theprofessional-amateur]

Other Crazy. Not to be confused with “other idiocy” which is already in this thread.

[historicity-was-already-taken]

Okay but “Unprocessed Internal Provenance” is legit chilling.

[tapacamino]

Some gems from when I worked in the entomology department of a museum:

Bonus calendar appointment in my Outlook:

[historicity-was-already-taken]

[theprofessional-amateur]

I forgot these bad boys from a natural history museum I worked at.

[theprofessional-amateur]

Losing my mind with metadata cleanup but found my new favorite folder title:

“Scientific Committee on Problems, etc”

[theprofessional-amateur]

[theprofessional-amateur]

✨✨concepts ✨✨

Ah yes, unanswered emails.

Compelling stories (folder empty)

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

OP: This is the first time I've seen the Yellow River's sediment discharge with my own eyes.

[jingyuanyuan]

There's a Chinese meme that the Yellow River doesn't need rituals to present sacrifices because if it's hungry it'll come onto the shore and eat the sacrifices itself.

[asmuchasidliketo]

#some netizens also say chinese people like unification because only a powerful unified dynasty can survive the yellow river and sometimes #also the chang jiang when they decide to flood and change directions and kill and displace millions #also only large dynasties have the resources to do hydroengineering to try and control the yellow river #yellow river be like: if you don't hydroengineer you die #but if you do you might also die heehee #“we call these our mother rivers not because they are gentle but because we are too scared” tags on above post

(source: Wikipedia)

[setnet]

@mikkeneko

[alterac]

what in the

oh my god??

[cryoverkiltmilk]

People talk about how the Great Lakes are deadly because they are uncaring, but the Yellow River is literally out to get everyone.

[badassdemonsword]

You couldnt come up with a jollier name for a bird if you tried

[minmos]

this thang has one of my favorite ebird descriptions of all time

[anevermadebed]

in the heated rivalry universe, scott hunter and ilya rosanov and shane hollander are ALL out as gay. there has to be some people who are like…does being gay mak you good at hockey? why are all the best hockey players gay?

[anevermadebed]

came to me in a dream.

[conspiracydawg]

sight I saw in san francisco, twice: gaggle of tiny children leashed together being herded along, everyone in hi-vis

[mikkeneko]

[collemblogging]

megastructure fans

[self-loving-vampire]

Curious about what percentage of all those pedestrian deaths from cars are actually intentional murders assumed to be accidental. We know some drivers are completely bloodthirsty towards pedestrians and cyclists beyond mere recklessness.

I notice that in general car deaths are simultaneously massive and invisible. Even in my famously hyper-violent country of birth cars used to be about as lethal as organized crime in death statistics.

But while gangs were at times the defining national problem that everyone was sick of, deaths from cars were seemingly not worth discussing.

[self-loving-vampire]

More than one person I know has had people trying to hit them with their car as an attempted hate crime, and looking online this doesn't seem uncommon. The cops are useless about it as usual too.

[basic-bamboo]

If you are someone who uses like a power chair or a motor scooter and live somewhere without a sidewalk you have to be in the road and it is extremely common for drivers to just...try to run you off the road. One of my friends messages me every time it happens to her, often the only thing that dissuades drivers is her service dog. They want to hit her, a power chair user, they do not want to hit a dog.

[iconuk01]

I'm very proud of my countrymen for introducing America to the world of the proper football chant.

None of this cheerleader stuff for soccer, oh no sireee, I mean, no disrespect to cheerleaders who put a LOT of work and effort into their performances, but somehow "Rah-Rah! We're the best" from peppily gymnastic young things can't quite match the sheer power of entire stadiums of grown up fans yelling at the top of their lungs things like....

It's unclear if this one originated with the English of Scottish games (spelling of "old" as "auld" notwithstanding), but either way, well done.

And it's striking home too! :D

Sportsball holds no interest for me, but that doesn't mean I can't respect the participation aspects sometimes.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

The rotting jack-o'-lantern's aides and cabinet have apparently been scrambling to keep him from watching any of the world cup games with English speaking crowds, because so many of the chants have been about Epstein and him.

This includes keeping him from presenting the winners trophy at the final game, because can you IMAGINE sixty thousand international fans with a live target for those chants? He might shit himself to death on the spot.

[breelandwalker]

.....Promise?

[jayrockin]

Almost Real's POP CULTURE issue is live on Kickstarter! Time to introduce the cute yet vaguely horrible cover critter, a living gachapon toy bioengineered by scud aliens!

The wild gachapede is a segmented worm-like arthropoid that lives parasitically inside a bivalve-like "giant diatom" in shallow, sandy-bottomed seas of the scud homeplanet. The giant diatom's shell is made of two interlocking lid-like frustules of transparent silica, allowing light to pass through to its veins of symbiotic unicellular algae. Much like the microscopic diatoms of earth, giant diatoms reproduce in two different ways, asexually and sexually. Asexual reproduction is carried out by the two frustules separating and each generating a new frustule, a phase during which they may be parasitized by the gachapede. But because the new frustule is always smaller than the old one, like the lid and body of a box, eventually one lineage of giant diatoms is too small to safely carry out asexual reproduction. These tiny ones will finally give up and reproduce sexually by releasing sperm and eggs that will join to create new larvae and maximum-size giant diatoms. The parasitic gachapede has a relatively low impact on a large healthy giant diatom, as it lays dormant until the frustules split, surviving off the "bloodstream" of unicellular algae.

Scuds have used the unique properties of these two organisms in combination with their civilization's advanced biotech to create a collectable toy; twisting the basic bodyplan of the gachapede into thousands of variations of "funny little guys." The wild diatom has been modified into a "gachapod," which is far more spacious and transparent than its wild counterpart. To obtain the toy, you crack open the two frustles and recycle the gachapod (which will now grow into two new pods). However, once removed from its food source, the gachapede typically only lives a couple days at most. At the end of its life, its cuticle calcifies and makes them into a rigid figurine. Scuds who are really into the gachapede scene will pose their gachapede into a desirable pose like a insect collector pinning a bug.

Anyways, if you want to read about even more strange, horrifying, and fascinating intersections of biology and pop culture, check out Almost Real: Speculative Biology Zine. We've also got a big thick book of the previous issues with different themes, including Mythology, Biotechnology, Aquatics, and Flight.