Tulips and sake

I'd like not to be perceived

[chryseis]

“No one should have to encounter that kind of evil. Except you girls, I think you can handle it.”

[animals-extreme-love]

How dare you bite me? I’ll hold you tight!

[frogeye-pierce]

“Good Ol’ Snoopy” by Charles M. Schulz (1958)

[rioblitzle]

i go to the shop and I ask if they have any raspberries. they say no, they used to sell raspberries, but they haven't had any in stock in the last 15 years. I ask if there's somewhere else I can go to buy raspberries. They say no, with confidence and pride, they're the only shop around who has ever sold or will ever sell raspberries. Other shops might sell other fruit, sure, but they have a monopoly on all raspberries forever. I ask if they're possibly planning on them selling them again in future? they say they can't tell me that.

on the way home, I encounter someone eating raspberries. I ask and they tell me that they grow their own, they got some seeds from the shop back in The Raspberry Days and kept them. They take me to a field of many beautiful raspberry plants and invite me to pick my own, they're free for all the town to pick whenever they'd like.

someone comes up behind us. It's the shop manager, President of Nintendo Shuntaro Furukawa. he hatefully throws a bob-omb that blows up and kills both of us instantly for stealing 200 trillion dollars worth of potential Raspberry Shop That Doesn't Do Raspberries Anymore profits that they weren't making and then he turns around to the camera with a big thumbs up and says don't do piracy or something ok please

[spookberry]

My personal headcanon for Ash Ketchum has always been that regardless of if his dream ever came true he'd never truly stop traveling and learning. Because despite "becoming a pokemon master" being his goal if you actually sit down and watch like Any episode of Pokemon the thing that always holds true is his curiosity and desire to learn everything he possibly can related to pokemon. And he'll try anything to! He did contests and the battle frontier. He'd do those silly little shows with Serena if they'd let him.

So I like to imagine him continuing on in life as this nomad who people don't automatically recognize as anyone important ya know? Just this goofy guy going from place to place always lending a helping hand and hes got a cute lil pikachu on him. And hes often lost somewhere with a friend just exploring the woods to see if he'll find anything cool. Ya know, as hes always been, but older now. And its only once hes drifted once more do you maybe stumble into an article on the pokeweb about him and are like... that guy??

[curvedroygbiv]

there’s a dedicated ashandpikachuspotter account somewhere on some social media. You tag a photo or search for a term and boom, there’s pics of this guy. this dude. this man. with his pikachu. and it’s thousands of strangers from across the globe coming on line to talk about some stranger that they met briefly and then never saw again. they’ve compiled their stories and their approximate locations and mapped his journey from continent to continent, a long snaking pathway that spans decades and thousands of miles. He’s apparently one of those Kanto kids that the government let just drop out of school. Its working out very well for him. 

[spookberry]

Thats so funny, to imagine him as a pokeweb criptid type character a la the florida man

[spookberry]

the one thing about him is he's also not gonna think he's famous or ever mention it himself

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[romanceyourdemons]

when the blackberry bushes have thorns to discourage mammals from monopolizing the consumption of their fruits and encourage birds to spread their seeds but they don’t know that the mammal in question is ME #notdiscouraged

[orcarriagesthatwork]

I think about this cake every day

[tizzymcwizzy]

sorry for exposing your tags but this is hilarious

[microsuedemouse]

OP, I hope you don’t mind me making an addition:

When I turned 17, we ordered a cake at the grocery store for my party, as we’d done many times before. If you wanted something written on the cake you’d write it into a section of the order form. We requested, very simply, “Happy Birthday Courtney”. When we went to pick it up the day of the party, this is what we got.

The bakery employees had absolutely no explanation for this. The order form, attached to the box, very clearly did not contain any of those extra names. Whomever had done the writing was no longer in, so there was no one to ask how this had happened. The fact that the name ‘Juan’ is misspelled bewilders me to this day. (I’ve never seen ‘Miley’ without the E, either, but it’s believable that someone might spell it that way.) Did this cake slip in from an alternate universe where I’m one quarter of a set of Hispanic quadruplets? Dyslexic Hispanic quadruplets, maybe?

This cake became the focal point of my party. At least two of my friends regularly called me ‘Courtney Mily Jaun Pablo’ for years to come. My siblings and I still reference it sometimes, eleven years later. It is probably the funniest thing ever to occur at any birthday celebration of my life, and may well remain so for the rest of my days.

I love a botched cake.

[helenarth]

one time me and some pals spotted one of those big cookie cakes in a store. it was done up with red icing and little X's for kisses and in the middle it said

No One Like You

now, it took us a while to realise it meant "(there is) no one like you". at first, we all parsed it as a botched "no one like(s) you"

for ages after when we'd wind each other up we'd declare "NO ONE LIKE YOU ☹️👎"

[itseasytoremember]

I just feel like it's important to post the Sacred Texts

[shofarsogood]

[ekjohnston]

The Cake Wrecks blog is one that I miss.

[consulships]

i do think theres something sad about how largely only the literature that's considered especially good or important is intentionally preserved. i want to read stuff that ancient people thought sucked enormous balls

[literaryreference]

Time to take this post entirely too seriously:

I often wonder if this is why you so commonly see the sentiment that we are in an era of uniquely bad literature, or at least that the fact that most books don't have artistic aspirations and are not aiming to be anything other than mindless entertainment is new. In fact what's new is the idea that everything is worth preserving (and also the internet making it easier to preserve it). The dumb artistically unambitious trash books of the past have survived only sporadically, because people thought of them as literally disposable.

When I was in college I had a professor who was an expert on detective fiction. He had a longstanding beef with the idea that "Murders in the Rue Morgue" was the first detective story. He thought that it seemed way too polished to be inventing a new genre, and also that the whole orangutan business had the vibe of someone subverting preexisting audience expectations and maybe engaging in a bit of stealth parody. With the help of some student volunteers, he went trawling through old magazines and newspapers and found hundreds of detective stories from the early 1800s that just hadn't garnered enough individual attention to be remembered. This was because most of them sucked balls. He created an online archive of them, so you too can read these mostly terrible stories.

[tricky-pockets]

I've spent a ridiculous amount of time on Project Gutenberg sifting through forgotten old fiction and lemme tell ya. a lot of that stuff sucks ass.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Tremendously comforting, really.

[dimetrodone]

The Great Gatsby

[bigsquinky]

[memeuplift]

[prokopetz]

The reason you can't be the next J R R Tolkien isn't because you don't have the talent, but because you're not the right kind of unwell. Tolkien wasn't bent for fantasy worldbuilding; he was bent for constructed languages, and got into fantasy worldbuilding in order to provide a material context in which to ground the notional evolution of the languages he invented. If you want to be the next Tolkien, you can't start with the worldbuilding; you've gotta find something extremely specific to fixate on, and develop it in such depth that inventing a world to contain it is genuinely the most logical next step.

[prokopetz]

#the best route is clearly to get really into a specific kink scenario and invent a world to justify it (via @salix03)

That's not even a joke. Developing a kink scenario so elaborate and so excruciatingly particular that it can only properly be contemplated in the frame of a world created specifically to contain it is genuinely closer to Tolkien's actual creative process than 99% of the stuff that plays at being heir to his legacy.

[luna-azzurra]

The thing about a good character flaw is that it has to be the same thing as their greatest strength just turned up too high. the person who loves deeply and therefore controls. the person who sees everything and therefore trusts nothing. the person who is so loyal they lose themselves. there are no clean villains and no clean heroes and once you understand that in fiction you can't unsee it in people. everyone is just their best quality at the wrong volume.

[azpunkdotcom]

[intrazone]

eating him tuesday once again

[tentacle-therapissed]

Matilda is a crazy book cause it starts out like ‘this little girl was super smart and loved to read :) and sometimes she used her smarts to play pranks on her shitty family :)’ and you’re like ‘wow good for her!! i hope her life gets easier once she starts going to school’ and then she starts going to school and develops telekinetic superpowers via emotional dysregulation that she subsequently uses to psychologically torment her principal into confessing that she murdered her brother-in-law and made it look like a suicide in order to seize control of her niece’s trust fund. And then Matilda’s entire family has to flee the country because it turns out her dad has been stealing cars and they’re all being hunted by the FBI

[basi-boy]

this video has been the last hinge holding me together for weeks now. I need to watch it once a day or I'll start disintegrating

[eeveelotions]

heres the translation I found online for fellow enjoyers

[holespoles]

Haruka Kawakami

かわかみはるか

[ovid]

it’s psychological horror to YOU. to me it’s a romcom

[allbuthuman]

it's a romcom to YOU. to me it's psychological horror