Insert Pun Here

Penny, UK, 29, Bi. Look idk man, I’m not a cryptid I just work nights now - update got a day job now I have no excuse

[hopelesslyromanticdreamer]

Nintendo randomly dropping an Animal Crossing update announcement on a quiet midweek afternoon when we all thought they’d forgotten about the franchise is absolutely hilarious tbh

[ccstcrptc]

Demi’s twin sister. She was locked in a basement her whole life. This picture was taken the first time she went outside. Her name is Poot.

[dogsuffrage]

I remember people talking about how this post was problematic because people actually get locked in basements and therefore finding this funny makes you a bad person. And I lowkey agreed

[paleolithique]

i need people to know that demi dressed up as poot for halloween this year

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

Tumblr being the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension site makes sense when you realize that 79% of adults in the US are functionally illiterate. Same goes for Twitter and TikTok.

that's a real high number, sport. where'd you get it?

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

hey anon

please tell me you didn't google "US literacy rates" and then make the funniest possible mistake one could make in that situation

[pixeljamgames]

Well that went by fast - the Dino Run 2 Kickstarter only has 4 days left. If you've been waiting to pledge, now is a good time to do it!

Thanks to everyone that contributed in the past. We've got a long road ahead of us, and we're incredibly energized by the community response to the game so far...

[innovadesexual]

my house is pretty awesome ihave an elephant in the room and a skeleton in my closet

[frogmood]

500 years from now there’s gonna be some film historian who’s entire career is built off of searching for a copy of goncharov

[sojournerstales]

this happened to my friend johnny truant

[whyenn-reader]

disabilities are not superpowers, that being said having auditory processing disorder my entire life made me insane at freestyling, cause my mental libary of homophobic phrases (rhymes) is massive and keeps expanding every day

[whyenn-reader]

HOMOPHONIC PHRASES HOMOPHONIC HOMOPHONIC SOUNDALIKES RHYMES ECHOS

HAVING AN EXTENDED LIBRARY OF HOMOPHOBIC PHRASES DOES NOT HELP YOU WITH FREESTYLING UNLESS YOU ARE EMINEM.

[whyenn-reader]

NOT THIS ONE IM BEGGING

[arikot27]

[wizardarchetypes]

it never ever gets old when a man sees you carrying something big & heavy and they offer to help so you hand it off and they go "woah!!!! this is so heavy!!!!" in genuine shock revealing they just assumed you're weak and now they're stuck carrying it for you out of pride and they huff and puff all the way. important lesson for them.

[wizardarchetypes]

i'm not a sadist. i always say, "want me to take one side and we can carry it together," and they always say no even though they're visibly struggling. ok yay be my guest <3

[wizardarchetypes]

back when I worked at a hardware store people would come in for concrete mix we sold in 50 pound bags (like 23 kg) and the cashier would ring them up then call over the speakers that there was a quikrete order. one of us had to go out to the concrete garage and meet the customer and load up all the bags into their vehicle and I always worked closing shift with this guy named Bob who had to be at least one thousand years old and he was so skinny and curled in on himself he reminded me of a Brian Froud illustration. and he would be like "let me get it. this isn't a job for a girl" and I was like, "well then who's job is it, because it aint a job for you either."

and he'd be like, "between the two of us?" as if the answer was obviously him

and we're standing there like this

[meatpuppit]

actually nothing but respect for the local sex toy store in my city just telling people they can shoplift morning after pills if they need to.

[hyunchans]

han accidently saying "oh shit" on tiktok live

[beardedmrbean]

[bruno-has-definitely-deactivate]

[chilewithcarnage]

[atomicniire]

You can not untangle alt culture and being queer

[stealingpotatoes]

i hauve a cold

[stealingpotatoes]

[stealingpotatoes]

[tinyclove]

let's get crocheted with mama ❤️

[tinyclove]

special baby photo ❤️

[becuzitisbitter]

You fucking wish the author was dead. The author is on twitter

[ladyananas]

2 sentence horror story

[angstbotfic]

[anti-terf-posts]

official anti terf post

[fourforyouodo]

I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) is honestly just such a pure, solid good song. The lyrics are cute af and actually resemble a long-term committed and happy relationship and to top it all off you can scream ‘DAHDADADA’ and the top of your lungs in a pub and someone will scream it back to you. 

[upper-eepy-sleepy-girl]

Okay, something about that kinktober (with no kink) thing that I noticed is this: every fic must have a conversation about a safeword being used, and then use it in the scene. Obviously this comes from the fact that they're treating fictional characters like real humans yadda yadda yadda

But like... the hope behind a safe word is that you're not supposed to use it unless something goes wrong. So like.

This is unironically what they're doing oml