Geek Life

Just a nerd girl in a nerd world.

[canenotabeltofunction]

Me: “I can’t be autistic, I don’t have sensory issues.”

Also Me-

- The person who told me to try freezing grapes is my enemy.

- *Physically gagging from trying to eat a freeze dried strawberry*

- “I can’t sleep, my shirt is on.”

- This yogurt had pieces of fruit in it so I will let it spoil in the back of my fridge and die of starvation before I eat it.

- If anyone touches me right now I will become a safety hazard

- *Throwing myself off of furniture*

- Something is crinkling SOMEWHERE in the next room and if I don’t find it and destroy it I will never sleep again.

- This person’s headlights were too bright for 0.5 seconds and now I will have a migraine for the next 4 hours.

- My hands are wet MY HANDS ARE WET MAKE IT STOP

- What do you mean these clothes are dry? They’re clearly still damp, how do you not feel it? They’re still damp!

- These two rocks rubbed against each other and made a noise and I think I may have broken a tooth from clenching my jaw so hard

- If I am forced to wear jeans for more than 0.3 seconds upon entering my home I’m going to start crying

Feel free to add your own

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

typical magical girl series but the female protagonists are allowed to just straight up murder people. is that asking so much

[rathersketchy]

also they're allowed to say fuck

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no no, i want everything else to be cutesy and PG. no cursing, only cute substitutions like "oh golly!"

I want to watch anime school girls with wide eyes and wholesome demeanors say "oopsie daisy!" while they commit war crimes

[aldoesthings]

no thoughts. only them

[twinprime]

teal and orange truly is the greatest color combo in the world. like name one better combo

[twinprime]

this is spiritually healing to me

[beans-after-midnight]

a platypus palette?

[zzoupz]

[beans-after-midnight]

PERRY THE PLATYPUS PALETTE???

[tinyshoopuf]

We walked into the hallway to get to our hotel room and I lost it laughing

[ultimate-whovian]

Prisoner zero has escaped😳

[science]

[somethinglikeanarchive]

Halloween Tumblr at the stroke of midnight on October 1st

[acheemient]

It’s that time of year again!!

[marlynnofmany]

Happy October 1st, everyone!

[gondwana]

why did you even do that asshole

[ultimate-whovian]

[thickness-protection-program]

Why is this heat so hot 😩

[fagapult]

It’s the heat

[thickness-protection-program]

Source?

[mamoswole]

[thickness-protection-program]

[pepsimansthickjuicymeatyschlong]

[burgrs]

*petting my cat* please cure my depression cat: *prrbhbphr* me: thanks

[pizzapugss]

Fun fact!!

Cats don’t only purr because they’re content! When they’re sick, or when a kitten/companion is sick, they purr to help heal faster. So if you’re feeling down and your cat friend comes up to purr on you, it’s because they sense something’s up and they want to help you feel better!

[psychicbirdstarlight]

Imagine beeing an animal that literally has a build in ‘comfort my loved ones’ function and still have people think you are an asshole by nature.

[rednightmare18]

My mom has an asshole cat. He’s pushy, standoffish, demanding, hates to be pet, won’t sit on laps, grumbles and bites other cats. All the typical asshole cat stuff. (Yes, he’s healthy and has regular check-ups; he’s just a dick.)

I got really sick while house-sitting for my mom last winter. My nose and ears sealed up completely, my chest was congested, my throat cracked, my eyes swelled up and I couldn’t really sleep because my airways kept closing the second I’d lie down. I’d just lie on the couch on a mound of pillows and periodically fall in and out of a daze.

After about three days of this, I snapped alert all of a sudden in the wee hours of morning, choking, unable to inflate my lungs all the way.

My mom’s asshole cat was huddled down on all fours smack in the middle of my chest, looking horrifically uncomfortable with the situation, PURRING and PURRING like a damn chainsaw.

He cracked an eye to glare at me when I moved to pet him. This doesn’t make us friends, he said.

“Good kitty,” I croaked, rubbing his cheek with one finger. “Nice kitty. Good boy.”

You stink, he said. You disgust me.

Then he brushed off my finger, shut his eye, hunkered tighter, and kept purring. I fell asleep. I don’t know exactly how long he was there, but it was at least a solid hour.

Even asshole cats will cast heal on you.

[catasters]

[not-quitenormal]

@vocallife have you SEEN

[vocallife]

i'm SCREAMING

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

[ncoley]

Everyone shut up and look at Lala.

[becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys]

I read an AITA post a few weeks back about a woman who liked having snacks in the bath when she's had a long day (a result of residual trauma iirc - the bath was her safe space). Her brand new husband of three weeks, a man twice her age who had no job, made her pay all of his bills and do all housework, and spent all day every day gaming because he wanted to make it as a Twitch streamer, had always been fine with this; but, on the day in question, had whisked her bath snacks out of her hands as she was on her way to the bathroom and tried to bin them, telling her it was time to 'break her of that filthy habit in his home'. She told him if he ever actually paid anything towards the house she owns outright he might get a say, took her snacks back, and had her lovely bath. He was since giving her the silent treatment.

(Obviously the judgement was an avalanche of 'NTA and also he's abusing you', which she agreed with, and decided to kick him out, so happy ending.)

Anyway I told my husband about this and he was outraged. "I would never do that!" he told me, furious. "I would find it adorable if you had bath snacks!"

Since then, every time I try to have a bath (which I only do as a rare treat) after about ten minutes there has been an anxious scrabbling at the bathroom door.

"Elanor!" he says. "Do you have bath snacks? Do you need anything?"

My answer is irrelevant. He brings me wine and poptarts. Now I have bath snacks. I'm a bath snacks person. Last time he was literally sleeping on the sofa when I went for the bath. Somehow this still happened. I now have an eager bathroom butler. How did this happen. I have never been so decadent yet bewildered.

[drexelian]

hey, uh. what the shit

[charlesoberonn]

[seymour-butz-stuff]

[sharkangelic]

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

Sauron.

Isildur

Deagol

Sméagol

Bilbo

Frodo

Samwise

[kaispeakshermind]

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

[uberguber89]

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[animanightmate]

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

[elidyce]

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

[kiwivee]

[kelssiel]

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!