Hey mother nature i love you and shit but like….what the fuck my good bitch
Goodness!
Okay. I’m Canadian so I know a shit ton about staying warm if you’re new to the cold there here are some tips!(add more if you know more!)
1. Wear grippy shoes, nothing is worse than snowmelt freezing on your skin.
2.Do not wear jeans as your outter layer. wet denim is the most body heat siphoning mother fucker known to man or god
3. Have a warm drink with you. It will help. Even just some hot soup broth or boiled water will help keep you warm.
4. Wear a moisture wicking layer close to your skin so you don’t get cold from your own sweat. You will sweat. That is fine and expected.
5. If you start feeling too warm even though you were cold and like you have to take your clothes of DO NOT. Call 911. You are suffering from hypothermia.
6. Bring a blanket and a heat source that needs no electricity with you in your vehicle. You do not want to be stranded with no heat in the case that something happens.
7. If you are struggling on ice as you’re walking, stop. Get your balance and penguin shuffle to a less slippery patch of ground. There’s usually less ice on one side of the walk and it’s better to walk in the snow next to the sidewalk than it is to eat dirt when ya slip
8. STAY THE ABSOLUTE FUCK AWAY FROM FROZEN BODIES OF WATER. Ponds are deceptive as shit even with the “solid blue tried and true” thing. Go around.
9. Keep kids warm. They run at a higher body temperature and will feel the effects of the cold worse than you.
10. Huddling is your best friend. Even if you don’t know the person, remember you’re both cold, especially if they don’t have the right clothing for the weather.
11. Pay attention to windchill. That is how cold it feels. Dress appropriately please. I know it’s tempting to dress for style, but there’s nothing stylish about losing your toes to frostbite
12. Don’t touch metal if you can avoid it. It will sap your heat and likely freeze to anything wet. Like tongues. Don’t fucking lick a pole.
13. If someone licks something metal, pour warm water over their tongue to get them free. If they yank, they will bleed. A lot.
14. Keep your ears, noes, fingers, and toes warm. You’re extremities will get cold first and are the most likely parts of your body to get frostbite.
15. If you see someone who may not have a place to be in the cold, offer to help them find a local shelter or library. The elements, especially the cold, are some of the largest threats to those who cannot avoid them.
16. If you find yourself stuck outside for a long time, sleep during the day when it is warmest, and avoid sleeping on the ground. Stay awake as much as you can at night so you have a better chance of staying warm.
Also, look out for your local animals. Cats will sleep on car wheels where you can’t see them - it’s elevated, rubber is warmer than the ground, and it’s a little hideyhole where they feel safe. Check your wheel wells and under your car before you go driving off, you might save a tiny life.
You can also, if you’re so inclined, make a little winter shelter for cats and small animals fairly easily and cheaply.
[Here] is a great (if lengthy) text guide to building shelters for local cats. [Here] is a video from the Ontario SPCA. [Here] is an even simpler (ad possibly cheaper) version of basically the same thing. As long as you smooth out the opening (so the lil guys don’t injure themselves on it), insulate, and line it, and then put it somewhere where it’s not going to get flooded or the animal snowed in, you’re grand. It might not seem like much in the face of subzero temperatures, but it’s damn well better than nothing.
Everyone, look through the notes for other information too!
As a Canadian who was recently reminded of some thimgs by it getting cold-cold for the first time this winter:
- Absolutely DO wear gloves or mittens if you’re going outside, even just for a couple minutes. Even just touching the doorknob to close the door behind yourself WILL suck the heat out of your fingers
- and if you do get cold fingers your own body heat is the quickest and most effective way to warm them back up. Stick those cold hands in your armpits (under a jacket but over your shirt) or between your thighs for a couple minutes. And then put your dang gloves on.
- taking an extra change of warm clothes with you if you’re driving is a good idea also. Especially if you have to wear particular clothes for whatever reason (work uniform etc)
