unqualifiedbread

I am not a slice or loaf of bread. Therefore, I am unqualified.

[baba-is-blog]

BABA HAS CONUNDRUM

HYTALE IS AVAILABLE

BABA IS TEMPTED

SPENDING AND SPOILERS IS NOT WANTED

VIDEOS IS SUBSTITUTE AND SPOILERS

[unqualifiedbread]

So from what I've seen about Hytale, is that it's a Minecraft rogue lite similar to Minecraft Dungeons, but different in the sense that it's more like Minecraft with base building and whatnot. It definitely seems like a fun, more action focused, version of Minecraft. Tried not to spoil a whole lot for you.

[unqualifiedbread]

I'd like to confess to the bread that I'm gender fluid and i don't know what to do with that

Ok. Are you happy that you are gender fluid

[itsapmseymour]

From all of us here~

[unqualifiedbread]

Mr. Seymour I regret to inform you that your post has undergone mitosis and thus I am getting a double dose of elf.

[moveslikekeithrichards]

traveling with people who use the bathroom frequently or need a lot of breaks is the fucking best. never ever feel bad about "slowing down the trip" or whatever bc i guarantee you are not the only one in the group benefiting from a break

(and even if you are. Who Gives A Fuck. your needs are non-negotiable. Refuse To Feel Guilty)

[unqualifiedbread]

I will say whenever I'm on a road trip I will try to reduce my water intake, which is bad because less water and tight spaces equals cramps. So drink water and even take breaks just to stretch your legs.

[elliejaybird]

the other app didn’t appreciate this one do you guys want it

[unqualifiedbread]

Click or Treat! *surprise Bettina jumpscare!*

Ahhh!!! You better not drink my blood, because I've got something else for you to drink.

[welcomedhappiness]

Farewell online privacy

[tikalgirl]

What happened?

[welcomedhappiness]

Trump happened.

[pizzaalle]

just get a VPN?

[earth-ruins]

You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. 

Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do!

So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do?

A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. 

Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it)

But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit)

Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want).  

Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey.  The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. 

I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security.

There is still more danger!  Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs

More about law  The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst):  

The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source)

There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better).  You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries.  If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! 

I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page.  

Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/

Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. 

I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. 

Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest)

Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy)

This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously.

EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research! 

[writing-prompt-s]

I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it. 

[rabbittiddy]

Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

[thecrystalfems]

He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

[coltrer]

Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. 

Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. 

btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. 

Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

[imthedoctor12]

@earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

[writing-prompt-s]

If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruins advice. Do your own research first. 

[writing-prompt-s]

@elvesfromthedeep​ just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). 

Sources

Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped 

Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history 

To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

[greeneyespurpleheart]

Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass.

With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN.

Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

[warmhappycat]

Hey is thatoneprivacysite still good? The link works and it does take me to an article about vpns, but it just looks like an ad for expressvpn with extra steps.

[skeleskeeller]

No they switched to https://thatoneprivacysite.xyz/#simple-vpn-comparison a couple years ago

Welcome to the VPN Comparison!  This section is meant to be a resource to those who value their privacy, specifical...

[skeleskeeller]

I had Trust.Zone when this post first started making the rounds on Tumblr and I forgot about it after Biden took office. I recently sent them an email asking why my subscription wasn’t automatically renewed and why their website hasn’t changed since 2017(?). Their answer:

Shady people, good people, this company only cares about privacy and doesn’t care who it serves. But now with Trump and Musk this is the only VPN I’ll use.

[firerockt]

I understand some people might not want to use this VPN on moral grounds, but it’s genuinely one of the very few VPNs set up in a way that no authority can touch you. ExpressVPN and other ‘popular’ options operate in jurisdictions favorable for profits but their privacy is just a band-aid our government can easily rip off if it demands information. I’m a trans man, I’m afraid of our government, and at this point, I simply don’t care anymore.

[moonxchaos]

For a second I was like noooooo, not this long post again! Haven’t seen it in years and I always thought it was a bit extreme and exaggerated. Now that we are in 2025, I am like, nahh, these people knew what they were talking about all along. First time I am reblogging this.

[moonxchaos]

Also I don’t think anyone has said this yet but the free trial only requires an email address. No credit card details or anything. Refreshing.

[foxbridgeni]

Could someone please put the link to the free trial here? I don’t want to scroll back up 10 miles. Thank you.

[skeleskeeller]

here you go @foxbridgeni

Trust.Zone Free Trial

[moonfireroulette]

The argument against VPNs has always been, “but I have nothing to hide.” Now that an unpredictable lunatic is in charge, purging based on whatever whim strikes him, that sentiment is quickly fading. VPNs aren’t just about hiding personal secrets; they’re about protecting freedom, autonomy, and your basic right to live without unjust scrutiny or arbitrary persecution.

[bearcubsandicecreammachines]

Reblogging again bc this is important

[yourlocalxenomorph]

please can we do inbox trick-or-treating this year. can we make that a thing on tumblr. please please please please please

[yourlocalxenomorph]

literally all it entails is sending people "trick-or-treat" asks and people answering those asks with pictures of candy or those silly spooky plastic toys or whatever else you would give a trick-or-treater. please. please can we have some whimsy

[coelii]

Don’t forget trick or treating this year everyone!

[marvelmaniac715]

I won’t forget this year

[bigmilkymantatas]

You'll all get treats this year if you send those asks my way!

[creatorbiaze]

oooo :>

[feridilicious]

I will give you guys free art treats if you come to my inbox on halloween okay...plus candy pngs... 👀

[slenderjerma]

I will leave my metaphorical porch light on!

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

This.

Is...

Genius!!!

:D

Why have we never thought to do this on Tumblr for Halloween before?! It'll be like everyone booping each other on April Fool's Day earlier this year! ^_^

If you send me asks on Halloween that have the words "trick or treat" in it, I'll be sure to give you candy and compliment you on your costume (profile pic). ^_~

[aarons-ramblings]

I will definitely be doing this. I'm officially too old to be trick or treating without escorting my younger sibling, and she's old enough to go out on her own now. Thus, I must take up the candy bowl at my own door. This will be my way of trick or treating this year. Stop by on Halloween for free candy emojis. 🍬

[aarons-ramblings]

I just came up with the perfect name for this. "Click-or-treat!" I don't know if anyone else has thought of this already, but if they have, then great minds think alike.

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

Reblogging just for "click or treat". The wordplay is so clever, I love it! 😂 (Also sounds like clicker-treat?)

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

I think I'll open up my ask-blog for click-or-treat again this year. 😊 Just letting everyone know now so we can all look forward to it!

[unqualifiedbread]

I will be participating as well.

[beardedmrbean]

[theconcealedweapon]

[knowing-smile]

Vintage EPA photos reveal what US waterways looked like before pollution was regulated

In the years after the US Environmental Protection Agency was founded, the agency dispatched photographers to document pollution and contami

What was food like before the FDA?

Formaldehyde, brick dust, lead, and borax once made grocery shopping a minefield.

Shit used to be wild, and this is just what I could find that had decent sources, I've heard a lot more horror stories.

I'm not excited to live in a word without regulation. 🙃

[bogleech]

"Regulations don't exist because governments enjoy them" is an important statement here. The government has to spend money and labor to enforce regulations. The government has to be begged for years and sometimes threatened by the American people into even creating the regulations. The people with the money want you to believe regulations are "BIG GOVERNMENT INFRINGING ON OUR FREEDOMS" so you'll help them undo the regulations your grandparents had to force that same government to install in the first fucking place. They count on you being ignorant of the past so they can make another round of dirty money by poisoning you all over again.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

If I hear vore again, I will bite you.

lmao lol even

[unqualifiedbread]

Thanks for doing this, sorry I couldn't show up to see your reaction.

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

Again, wanted to share a post I made on YouTube, and I'd love to see reblogs giving me ideas and your own thoughts!

Thank you all so much for the overwhelming response and support in my post yesterday! You guys are amazing, I'm filled with joy to see you filled with as much determination as I have, and I wish us all easier days ahead in weaning ourselves off of this platform, starting this Wednesday August 13th.

I read all your comments, and a lot of you had some great ideas and suggestions for websites we can use instead of YouTube! I've had NewPipe as an alternative myself, because it doesn't play any ads, and I can search and play music and still have it play while the app is closed, or even with my phone turned off! But other people have suggested:

Fediverse

Greyjay

Glomble

Nebula

Peertube

Vidlii

I recommend you do your own research to determine what platforms will serve your needs the best, but I would love to see more suggestions if you have them!

I also noticed that a bunch of you guys commenting had profile pics starring a certain infamous paperclip character.

This is from a recent trend started by Louis Rossman, someone I never heard of before until recently, encouraging us to use this as a form of quiet protest against any and all platforms who want to steal our personal data, censor us, and walk on our rights to privacy and free expression. Watch the original video here:

I thought, this is a fun movement I can get behind! So I made my own Clippy-sona, and planning to use it for all my other socials (even here on Tumblr). But before I do that, I figured I'd ask what you think, if it's a good idea? Or just a silly trend?

[bettinalevyisdetermined]

It is done. :3

[bedbugbiting]

My face is having uncontrollable spasms. Great. It hurts really, really, really bad.

I think part of why I have trouble explaining pain to the doctor is when they ask about the pain scale I always think “Well, if someone threw me down a flight of stairs right now or punched me a few times, it would definitely hurt a lot more” so I end up saying a low number. I was reading an article that said that “10” is the most commonly reported number and that is baffling to me. When I woke up from surgery with an 8" incision in my body and I could hardly even speak, I was in the most horrific pain of my life but I said “6” because I thought “Well, if you hit me in the stomach, it would be worse.”

[bomberqueen17]

I searched and searched for the post this graphic was from, and the OP deactivated, but I kept the graphic, because my BFF does the same thing, uses her imagination to come up with the worst pain she can imagine and pegs her “10″ there, and so is like, well, I’m conscious, so this must be a 5, and then the doctors don’t take her seriously. (And she then does things like driving herself to the hospital while in the process of giving birth. Probably should have called an ambulance for that one!)

So I found this and sent it to her. Because this is what they want to know: how badly is this pain affecting you? Not on a scale of “nothing” to “how I’d imagine it’d feel if bears were eating my still-living guts while I was on fire”. 

I hate reposting stuff, but I’ll never find that post again and OP is deactivated, so, here’s a repost. I can delete this later, i just wanted to get it to you and I can’t embed images in a chat or an ask. 

[derryderrydown]

This is possibly why it took several weeks to diagnose my fractured spine.

[petralemaitre]

Pain Scale transcription:

10 - I am in bed and I can’t move due to my pain. I need someone to take me to the emergency room because of my pain.

9 - My pain is all that I can think about. I can barely move or talk because of my pain.

8 - My pain is so severe that it is difficult to think of anything else. Talking and listening are difficult.

7 - I am in pain all the time. It keeps me from doing most activities.

6 - I think about my pain all of the time. I give up many activities because of my pain.

5 - I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.

4 - I am constantly aware of my pain but can continue most activities.

3 - My pain bothers me but I can ignore it most of the time.

2 - I have a low level of pain. I am aware of my pain only when I pay attention to it.

1 - My pain is hardly noticeable.

0 - I have no pain.

[airagorncharda]

It’s also really important to get this kind of scale to people who have chronic pain, because chronic pain drastically lowers your perception of how “bad” any kind of pain actually is, and yet something like this pain scale is extremely user friendly. 

For example, if someone asked me how much pain I’m in at any given time, I’d say hardly any, and yet I’m apparently at a chronic 2.5, and it only goes up from there depending on the day. 

There’s also a similarly useful “Fatigue Scale”

[jedijenkins]

I haven’t been below a 5 on this scale for 4 years 

[nerdgasrnz]

Here’s the fatigue scale

[sunny-day-sky]

Fatigue scale image desc:

10: can barely move; can’t talk

9: can barely move; can talk

8: can move, but can’t do much more than watch TV

7: can watch TV and play a game on my phone simultaneously

6: can do work on my computer lying in bed

5: can get around the house, but definitely couldn’t go out

4: can run a light errand

3: can get in my 10,000 steps, making my fitbit happy

2: can do three or more activities in a single day

1: going clubbing!

[eruvadhril]

See also the Mental Health Pain Scale by Graceful Patient:

Mental Health Pain Scale transcription:

MILD

1 - Everything is a-okay! There is absolutely nothing wrong. You’re probably cuddling a fluffy kitten right now. Enjoy!

2 - You’re a bit frustrated or disappointed, but you’re easily distracted and cheered up with a little effort.

3 - Things are bothering you, but you’re coping. You might be overtired or hungry. The emotional equivalent of a headache.

MODERATE

4 - Today is a bad day (or a few bad days). You still have the skills to get through it, but be gentle with yourself. Use self-care strategies.

5 - Your mental health is starting to impact on your everyday life. Easy things are becoming difficult. You should talk to your doctor.

6 - You can’t do things the way you usually do them due to your mental health. Impulsive and compulsive thoughts may be hard to cope with.

SEVERE

7 - You’re avoiding things that make you more distressed, but that will make it worse. You should definitely seek help. This is serious.

8 - You can’t hide your struggles any more. You may have issues sleeping, eating, having fun, socialising, and work/study. Your mental health is affecting almost all parts of your life.

9 - You’re at a critical point. You aren’t functioning any more. You need urgent help. You may be a risk to yourself or others if left untreated.

10 - The worst mental and emotional distress possible. You can no longer care for yourself. You can’t imagine things getting any worse. Contact a crisis line immediately.

[kingspadedying]

These are so important! SO SO IMPORTANT SHARE THIS AND SAVE IT TO SHOW YOUR DOCTORS!

[mrswhozeewhatsis]

This is the first time I’ve seen the fatigue scale, and HOLY MOLY that’s a revelation!!! These should be on all hospital and doctor office walls.

[thesaltofcarthage]

I’ve never seen the mental health one! or the fatigue one! I printed out the pain one and gave it to my GP. 

[emptymanuscript]

The pain scale is different than the one I was taught. I might like it better. Even though I would be giving the same numbers really. Really I’d be about +1, I’d be dafaulting to 5 rather than 4. Sit around a 4 on fatigue. Somewhere between a 5 and a 7 on mental health. Ugh. It really is time for surgery. :/

[unqualifiedbread]

@faun-the-fae

[liberalsarecool]

Sharing space is nothing new. Sharing bathrooms is nothing new. The reactionary outrage is so manufactured.

[theconcealedweapon]

The parking lot? As in the gender neutral parking lot? As in a place where you have no privacy?

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

These are the bathrooms at the airport in question:

As you can see, complete privacy for all waste-expulsion activities. You only encounter other people around the sink.

[aspiringwarriorlibrarian]

This just proves a point that I’ve repeatedly noticed and it’s that every time a bathroom goes gender neutral it gets about a hundred percent safer.

I distinctly remember coming back from college to find that they’d converted the two of the bathrooms into all-gender restrooms. Among the changes were doors that went all the way up and down, a locking mechanism within the door, and actual door handles. Even the single-occupancy bathroom got a wall for extra privacy.

In contrast, I remember the women’s bathrooms in my old school. They were broken as shit. Some doors needed to be held by a friend, some doors you held with your foot from inside. The wheelchair-accessible bathroom straight up did not have a door at all. And yet we all pretended this was okay because hey, the womanly honor code. You think that shit would have flown if there were two gender-neutral restrooms?

All I’m saying is that if I were fleeing a predator or wanted to be absolutely sure I was private, which one would be the better option? The one that assumes that a “no penises allowed” sign will be enough? Or the one that actually, physically protects me?

[aurpiment]

Also, nongender restrooms are better for parents. My brother and I grew up raised by my mom. While nothing ever happened to him going into the bathroom alone, not even like a poop accident that he would have needed help cleaning up with, my mom certainly got anxious sending a seven-year-old into the men’s room unaccompanied. A nongender restroom means that parents of small children can worry less about their kids.

[roseintherainforest]

Gender neutral bathrooms are The Shit. I love the privacy. Like as someone who gets menstruation related intestinal issues, the ability to just have an actual fucking door, and some goddam privacy is awesome. Gender neutral bathrooms benefit everyone. And back to the parents/caretakers of children thing, imagine if you’re a dude who’s out with a fairly young daughter or niece, what the hell do you do if there’s no family or gender neutral washroom? Use the womens’ and deal with the weird looks and/or comments, or chance it with the guys bathroom? Gender neutral bathrooms solve dozens of problems at once, including partially eliminating a need for family washrooms, as a gender neutral bathroom with change tables would take care of all that.

[elodieunderglass]

I’ve been saying for years that TERFs are showing their utter lack of parenting with the bathrooms thing. (Nothing wrong with not having parenting experience. But I don’t care to take advice on “protecting children” from people who don’t actually manage any risks on children’s behalf.) each time they bang on about public bathrooms, it’s like: ah. You have genuinely never cared for children or thought about children’s needs in any way.

Public bathroom design, in the gender segregated sense, is actively hostile to children.

Quite apart from gender considerations, parents are often forced to use unisex wheelchair accessible stalls, which is fine, but makes them less accessible for wheelchair users, and contributes to the demand for unisex stalls. Why? Because children are small people who are usually accompanied by carers, often with a mobility aid, often needing assistance or wearing a nappy, and often have a sibling. Below the age of 3-ish, children are often in pushchairs/strollers. You cannot remove a baby from a pushchair and place it loosely on the floor of a public toilet while you are assisting your toddler. Instead, you and the pushchair/baby and the toddler are all accommodated in the wheelchair stall. That’s also where the changing table usually is.

In bathrooms where the changing table is thoughtlessly gender-locked to the womens’ room only, fuck yes you are going to see daddies changing nappies in the women’s room, and if that bothers anyone reading this, then shame on you. and to redeem yourself I hope that you write a stern letter to the mall, saying that you demand a changing table in all the bathrooms.

(The most obvious way in which public bathrooms are hostile to children are the electric hand dryers, which blast painful and distressing noise directly into the eardrums of short people whose hearing range is more sensitive than adults. But, you know, why design public spaces to protect children, or make them actually safe or comfortable…)

[lastoneout]

Gender neutral bathrooms also fix the issue where sometimes the family restroom is the only one that is usable for disabled people, and if it's not being taken up by families then disabled people can spend less time waiting to go to the bathroom, especially because for a lot of us unfettered and instant access to a bathroom when needed is a major accessibility issue. I've had to wait 15 minutes for the only disabled bathroom because it's also a family restroom and a mom and her five kids are all in there, and I sympathize, I'm the eldest child of 5, I get it, but this wouldn't be a problem if parents didn't have to worry about their children who need supervision not being allowed in the same bathroom as them on the basis of gender/sex.

And like sometimes the family restroom is the only usable one for a disabled person because I cannot even begin to tell you how many restrooms I've encountered in the six months I've had my chair that are either missing a lock, clogged, broken in some other way, or in the case of my local Albertsons built wrong so you literally cannot get your chair into them at all. Like I legit had to stand up and fold up my chair to get in and out, when it was sitting in it it was IMPOSSIBLE to close or open the door, and this was not an outlier situation, this is painfully common. So sometimes we don't have a choice and tbh making us wait for families kinda sucks. If the bathroom was single gender I wouldn't have to wait to go because this is the only bathroom my wheelchair can fit in and it's currently taken up by an entire able bodied family. Disabled people could have the disabled stalls and parents could keep an eye on their kids. A less gendered world is a better one for everyone.

[dragon-in-a-fez]

consider: teenagers aren’t apathetic about everything they’re just used to you shitting all over whatever they show excitement about

[antigothesis]

Teen: *gets a job*

“I GOT THE JOB!”

Parents: Well, when I was your age, I already had 5 jobs and was supporting my family

[discowitchparty]

Teen: *gets all A’s*

“I worked really hard!”

Parents: Well, of course you did, this is the expectation, not a celebration.

[silver-tongues-blog]

probably why so many teens take to social media where they can enthusiastically share their interests and achievements and get positive feedback that their parents never gave

[moonlighteduniverse]

A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

[bisexual-boredom-deactivated202]

This hit hard

[rowark]

I remember once, when I was in my early 20s, I was an afternoon supervisor at my job, and I worked with mostly teenagers, and the one day this one kid, who was like 15, was bored so I suggested he could clean out the fridge. He did and when he was done I said he did a good job.

After that, this kid was cleaning out the fridge at least once a week, and I was like, “why are you always cleaning the fridge?” Like, I didn’t mind, but it seemed odd. And he said, “one time I cleaned the fridge and you said I did a good job. I wanted to make you proud of me again.”

Literally, I changed the entire way I interacted with teenagers after that. I actually got a package of glitter stars and I would stick them on their nametags when they did a good job, and they loved it.

My manager had commented on how hard these kids work and I said, “they’re starved for positive feedback. They go to school all day then come to work all evening and no one appreciates it because it’s expected of them, but they’re still kids. They need positive feedback from adults in their lives.”

Like, everyone likes feeling appreciated. Everyone likes being complimented and having their efforts be noticed. Another coworker (who was a mother of teenage children), hated that I did this, and said they were too old to be rewarded with stickers, but like… it wasn’t about the stickers. The stickers were just a symbol that their effort was noticed and appreciated. I was just lucky that I learned this at a time when I was still young enough to remember what it was like to be a teenager. I was only 2 years out of highschool at that point and highschool is fucking hard. People forget this as they get older, but ask anyone and almost no one would ever want to go back and do it again, but they expect kids to suck it up because they’re young so they should be able to do school full time, plus homework, and work, and maintain a healthy social life, and sleep, and spend time with family, and do chores and help out at home, and worry about college and relationships and everything else, and then just get shit on all the time and treated like they’re lazy and entitled. And then they wonder why teenagers are apathetic.

[zediina]

For a german exam I had to argue against an article that was essentially „kids these days, they don’t care about anything and are constantly on their phones“ and really it was the easiest essay I‘ve ever written.

Teens don’t talk to adults bc adults only ask „so, how‘s school“ to then interrupt them two sentences in. And because they can’t engage in a conversation about buying houses and working in a bank. I would’ve loved to talk about philosophy and politics and history with family the way I did with friends and in class but because I was young no one took what I had to say seriously.

And no, teens aren’t always on their phone. They’re on their phone when they’re bored. You think I‘m on social media when I‘m with my friends? When I‘m talking about something I‘m interested in?

Maybe the reason kids are so distant and always on their phone during family parties and the like is because you‘re failing to engage and include them.

[aromantic-goldfishdeactivated202]

Whoop there it is

[midwesternlikeope]

When you respect kids, they really respond and learn from you. But if you treat kids like “theyre just a kid, what do they know??” then you’ll never find out.

[imagitory]

As a Disneyland Cast Member, I’ll add my own experience onto this –

Very frequently, when I first speak to a child while I’m at work, they’ll kind of withdraw and act uncomfortable and shy. Their parents will then rather frequently tell them to not be shy and try to coax them to talk to me – whenever that happens, I always, without fail, politely dissuade the parents from pressuring them.

“I’m a stranger,” I’ll tell the kid’s parents. “I don’t blame them for not talking to me – if they were anywhere else, they’d have the right idea, to not immediately trust me.”

I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen that same kid – simply after hearing their initial reaction being validated, instead of reproached – immediately open up to me after that. I also cannot tell you how many times that child and I would go on to start a friggin’ marathon conversation, and I got to hear all about how great their day was or what their favorite Disney movies were or what rides they liked and didn’t like or how much they like a certain Disney character or song…all from me validating that initial feeling and showing genuine interest in what they had to say.

This isn’t just young children, either. I will always remember being positioned outside the Animation Academy one day and starting up a conversation with a young lady, perhaps 12 or 13, who joined the line with her father a full 25 minutes before the class was supposed to start. Now keep in mind, we do a drawing class every 30 minutes: there was no one else in line at that point, and no one else joined the girl and her father in line for a full fifteen minutes. So I could tell pretty quickly that this girl was very emotionally invested in getting a good spot for the drawing class: a conclusion all the more bolstered by the fact that she had a notebook under her arm. I asked her if she was an artist – she said yes, but seemed uncomfortable at the question, so I skipped even asking her if I could see her work, instead admitting that I myself wasn’t very good at art, but that I’m trying to get better and that I love the history of Disney animation. On the screens around us was video footage of different Disney concept art and animation reels, so I pointed one of them out (for Snow White) and asked if she knew the story behind the making of the movie. Upon confirming that she didn’t, I proceeded to get down on the floor so I could sit next to her and her father and dramatically tell the whole story of how “Uncle Walt” created the first full-length animated motion picture, even though everyone and their mother thought he was an idiot for even trying, and how the film ended up becoming the first Hollywood blockbuster. After the story was over, the girl’s father said that his daughter really wanted to be an animator when she grew up, and she finally felt comfortable enough to open her notebook and show me some of her artwork. It was wonderful! Every sketch had such character and you could tell how much work she put into it! And I could tell how much telling her that – and sharing that moment with her, where we got to connect over something we both really enjoyed – had meant. And after the class was over, she sought me out to show me what she and her father had drawn – and sure enough, hers was great! (Her father’s was too, really. XD)

People, kids and teens included, love sharing what they love and how they feel with others. You just have to give them the chance to show it.

[moony-moons-world]

A LITTLE LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK!

-~-

I feel like I am obliged to add one more thing: don’t ever think that the kids won’t feel your unspoken judgements cause they do!

I felt always like a ‘problem’ in my family, until I was about sixteen, I got this teacher who was litterally the first to tell I was worthy. He changed my life up till this day.

Also how do grown ups imagine how ‘we’ will ever learn to engage in conversations with adults properly if you don’t teach us?

[manifestingdestiel]

This post is

Everything

[branchesofyggdrasil]

I told one of my new coworkers (who is 26) that he was doing really well and that I was proud of him and his progress. I thought he was going to start crying for how quietly he said “really?”. 

Positive feedback makes the biggest difference to everything.

[prismatic-bell]

I used to have a coworker who only spoke Burmese. She knew a few words in English, but literally it was like “hey Susu, can you clean the cooler for me?” “Yes yes, I clean, I clean.” She’d moved to the US in her late 30s and never really got the hang of English. (I don’t say this to make fun of her. She was a refugee fleeing a brutal and bloody war in Myanmar and her broken English was a sign of deep determination and tragedy. I say it because the language barrier, and the extent of it, is important to what happened next.)

She was shy, and kind of withdrawn, and extremely slow—it took this woman an hour to do a sink of dishes that took me 30 minutes and I was considered not particularly fast—but she was absolutely dogged. She would do her job and get it done.

So this one day I realized we had all kinds of “hey, great job!” cards on our little recognition board thing for almost the whole crew, but none for Susu, because “she won’t understand anyway.” So I threw a couple of simple sentences into a translation app and spent like half an hour very painstakingly drawing these sentences in Burmese characters (and drawing is really what it was—I felt like I was four years old and holding a pencil for the first time again) and gave her the card. She kind of glanced and it and went “oh thank you” and then did this massive double-take and raised it in front of her face and read it, and read it again, and then just about hollered “OH THANK YOU THANK YOU” and I showed her where she could pin it on the recognition board if she wanted. She chose to take it home instead, which, totally fair.

All it said was “thank you for your hard work, you’re very reliable.”

Everything changed after that. She started using her limited English more, picking up new words here and there (rather amusingly, ours was a multilingual kitchen but she didn’t know which words belonged to which language, and you really haven’t lived until you’ve seen a tiny Burmese woman slap a fryer and say “Oy vay this thing, yeah! Pendejo!” I mean yes, completely valid emotion about that fucking fryer, but when this is how you’re discovering she’s picked up both Spanish and Yiddish and thinks both of them are English, lemme tell you, that sure is an Emotion), enthusiastically participating in things.

She was in her forties.

Nobody but her children had spoken a word to her in Burmese since she left home.

People just want to be known. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

[xenosaurus]

I turn 30 next month so here’s what I learned in my 20s:

—don’t work for startups, they’re always one ‘innovative idea’ away adding ‘sell your kidneys on the black market’ to your job description.

—keeping a collection of basic OTC medicine on you will save your life one day. I recommend Advil, Imodium, and TUMS.

—those little single-use glasses cleaning wipes are 1000% worth the money

—overly self-depreciating jokes just make people uncomfortable, wean yourself off of them

—you can buy dehydrated mini marshmallows in bulk online and they’re a godsend for hot cocoa

—people don’t care if you have fidget toys on your desk they just want to play with them

—try to go to bed BEFORE the existential ennui kicks in

[thelittleblackfox]

Also drink water and eat a plant

[liz-squids]

This is all GREAT. I turned 40 last week, so permit me to add what I learned in my 30s:

keep on not working for startups

sometimes there comes a point where the thing (fandom, hobby, friendship, romantic relationship) you loved no longer brings you joy. And that's okay. Try to mourn the loss, take joy in the memories, and don't burn any bridges in case ten years go by and you find yourself back in that fandom/hobby/relationship again

it turns out that (ugh) moderate regular exercise is (spit) good for you. The sooner you make it part of your life, the easier it'll be

related: if you throw yourself into a new exercise regime too hard and too fast, without stopping to rest or consider whether a particular move is good for you ... well, shoulder injuries are painful and consults with orthopedic surgeons are expensive

knees are bastards too

don't even get me started on ankles

there may come a time when your digestive system is too fragile for ibuprofin. I'm sorry

one day you're gonna wake up and realise you no longer give any fucks about some things that used to bother you

on the other hand, you might be alarmed to realise what you still give a fuck about

never get down on the floor without an exit strategy for getting back up

[covington-shenanigans]

I turn 50 this year. what I have learned in my 40s:

"loving yourself" is less of a feeling and more of an action. you can start doing it any time and it will make your life better and better as you go on

this will happen incrementally - be patient

along those lines, if you haven't started making an active effort to quit shit-talking yourself, suck it up and do it

no, shut up. do it. "but it's haaaaard!" don't care. do it.

whether you like it or not, you are mortal and you need to go to the doctor for an annual checkup

stretch regularly - your future self will thank you

at some point you will encounter people much younger than you arguing passionately and incorrectly about history you personally remember and experienced

this will be infuriating and annoying

otoh, most other things just... will not matter to you as much

at some point you will shift from wanting to go out to being like "eh" and deciding to stay in. this is okay.

you will have absolutely no idea what The Youth are talking about and you will not care

but if you keep your mind open to new ideas you'll never be irrelevant

your company still doesn't love you - don't give them more than they pay you for

get a fucking hobby, especially a hobby that involves physically creating/handling something and/or moving your body in physical space. it will do you more good than you can imagine

[atlinmerrick]

Just turned 60 and let me say:

Find joy, every kind, it's always worth it

I'm talking that massive, never-ending Discord chat with your bestie? The one that makes you giggle through the day? It's not a "waste of time," it's what time was made for

If that's fanfic for your favorite characters who never even met on screen celebrate that!

If that's building a tiny fleet of snake villagers for your snake town and they just cover your mantel hell yes!

If that's collecting pillows and making a fort of them every weekend I'll be right over

Feeling and sharing joy is the whole point

[cricketcat9]

This is too tempting…, so, I’m 74, and: don’t fund startups

Please keep stretching and exercise enough NOT to need an elaborate strategy to get up from the floor. IT MAY SAVE YOUR LIFE

Say bye to your employer as early as you possibly can, unless you really love your job. You won’t be sorry.

Keep doing the annual checkups 🙏🏼

Enjoy that fucking hobby you’ve acquired in your 50, or find something new. Do try new things & adventures.