use me.

throw me away.

[useme-deleteme]

My brain chemistry has been changed completely. My ex was triggered by a very specific noise and my mind hyper fixates on it whenever I hear it... its been 3 years and I cant change that fact.

Why can't I just be normal?

[peachyimg-deactivated20191115]

me: has a breakdown because mental illness has ruined so much for me

also me: but am i really mentally ill tho?? how can i be sure? how do i know i’m not faking and making things up for attention?? i’m probably exaggerating because i want to be sick

[alivi-ana]

Alllllll theeeeee timeeeeeee

[knkxncmxmxmx]

Hey, you love me, right? You're not just keeping me around for the self esteem and ego boosts, right? You wouldn't do that to me, right????

[useme-deleteme]

Can someone just.. tell me it's okay, please? Like, I wish I could just... stop my brain. It's not fair and honestly I wish I could just disappear sometimes..

I feel so much fear and shame and guilt over so many things that it's ridiculous.. I feel like I'm not doing enough, or I'm being too clingy and annoying but I just.. I hold too closely to my favourite people and then I crumble when they're not here like... what do I do?

I'm so..

I feel like crying and curling up into a tiny ball and disappearing forever

[bpdgotmelike]

how difficult it is to have been an adult as a child and now a child as an adult

[edrecoveryhelpdesk]

Tips With Dealing With Anxiety Because I Woke Up With An Internalized Panic Attack Part One

Listen to nature sounds

Watch a movie that makes you laugh

Take a walk

Go to your local animal shelter and hang out with the animals

Do a guided meditation or a few dozen to help you calm down

Do yoga

Write down on what makes you happy

[fuckyeahasexual]

So if you lived in a society where you had to secure your communication in order to be yourself around others, here are the apps that could help you do that.

[fuckyeahasexual]

Signal let’s you securely text and make phone calls.

Onion Browser allows you to surf the web without leaving a trail.

Duck Duck Go isn’t super secure but it won’t record your searches like Google.

ProtonMail is a email client that lets you email other secure email accounts.

Periscope allows you to stream live video.

Semaphor is there so you can securely make group chat rooms.

American privacy laws allow you to use these all. So that’s pretty cool.

[beaniebaneenie]

Because we’re currently living in the prologue of a cyberpunk dystopian novel, imma reblog this.

[winterayars]

FYI the feds can crack Signal when they’re sufficiently motivated, which means the rest of these are probably also done. Not to say you shouldn’t use them–you should–but don’t go around thinking you’re immune to snooping.

[queeranarchism]

True. These things delay, put up barriers that make you harder to follow and it takes more work and time to decrypt your messages.

That’s useful if you wanna pass on information that only needs to be hidden for a short time but if you need communication to stay secret forever no matter how hard the state tries, don’t use the internet at all. There is no encryption that is going to stay uncrackable forever.

[antivertigo]

pay attention to that last sentence. there’s a fallacy in thinking that if you lock something, it’s safe forever. in truth a lock is a deterrent, and anyone sufficiently determined will get through, it’s simply a matter of time and a lock makes it take longer.

think about what you want encrypted, and why, and what lengths you’re willing to go to, to keep it that way

[fuckyeahasexual]

When locking your phone use a pin, not your fingerprint or face. You’re pin is safe under the law, your fingerprint and face are not. Again, they are meant to delay things to keep you safer.

[fuckyeahasexual]

How to stop tear gas 

You probably should delete the period tracking app 

[furiousgoldfish]

Abused kid things:

having scars on your body you can’t remember how you got them

gaping holes in memory

feeling distortion in your limbs, your body doesn’t feel yours

always feeling terrified of being called out for a mistake

worrying that you are A BOTHER to everyone at all times

guilt for wanting attention

depriving yourself of attention to cope with guilt and thinking it will “toughen you up”

guilt for receiving attention

feeling uncomfortable whenever things are about you

always feeling seconds from being targeted for someone’s anger

being overly accommodating and still feeling it’s not enough and you will PAY FOR NOT DOING MORE

feeling you’re going insane

trying to blame your own symptoms on yourself

trying to shame yourself just like everyone else has shamed you

feeling life would be better if only you weren’t the way you are

craving for something horribble to happen to you just so you could stop anticipating it

fantasies of abuse + obligatory guilt for having fantasies of abuse

self doubt over weather you actually deserved or wanted to be abused

trying to prove to yourself that you didn’t

not knowing how to prove that to anyone else

trying to soothe yourself by explaining your symptoms away and telling yourself your fears are not real

wondering why you stayed alive this far

[m4nicpsych0]

abandonment issues slayyyy

[useme-deleteme]

I'm so tired... I feel like I need to stop existing for a long time

[tired-fandom-ndn]

I find it funny how often people on this website complain about someone misusing the word trigger, only to turn around and misuse it in an entirely different way by claiming that triggers only cause PTSD flashbacks.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Walking up some steep stairs left your joints aching and pained? Arthritis trigger.

An offhand and joking comment from a friend left you terrified that they can read your mind? Psychosis trigger.

An interruption to your routine left you floundering and unable to continue your day? Autism trigger.

Your coworker’s new perfume left your head swimming and pounding and now you feel like you might throw up? Migraine trigger.

Odd snow animations in your favorite video game caused you to have a seizure? Epilepsy trigger.

A sudden bout of stress in your life left your body screaming in pain and exhaustion? Fibromyalgia trigger.

The sound of a door slamming left you frozen and silent out of fear of being noticed? PTSD trigger.

Triggers are incredible varied and come in countless forms and can affect countless things. They aren’t just about flashbacks and I would even go so far as to argue that actual flashbacks are probably one of the least common results of a trigger.

[matsuropalette]

eldest daughter syndrome and gifted kid syndrome are some great examples of phrases used to talk about specific kinds of trauma that the internet has taken and turned into "boo hoo these people arent special anymore so theyre lashing out!!" it was never about that you fucking cunts

[bananonbinary]

 tbh i fully believe that healthy kids should be getting in some stupid trouble.

like, a child that’s in trouble all the time, frequently skipping school, getting caught doing crimes? that’s a kid that desperately needs literally any positive attention. that kid needs help. obviously.

but a child that is perfectly well-behaved, never speaks up for themself, is seen and not heard? that’s a child that’s afraid. they also need help.

[useme-deleteme]

I get scared and anxious and feel like I'm about to cry whenever I hear that type of aggressive voice... I don't know why.. it's only when someone who sounds Masculine in their voice raises it and yells with frustration, or anger and.. i can't stop feeling that way.

I feel so broken. I don't want to feel it..

[truintent444]

[useme-deleteme]

I'm so dizzy... I was yesterday tok but idk why

[thespoonisvictory]

people misunderstand what ‘gifted kid’ actually means but it’s ok it’s fine it’s cool it’s good

[thespoonisvictory]

it’s not about actually being gifted, it’s about an initial higher scoring on standardized testing that means little to nothing or being good at learning in the way elementary and middle school wants you to, so you get marked as ‘advanced’. in reality, maybe you had faster development in certain areas, but the issue with being a gifted kid isn’t that “everyone told me I was so cool and special for reading and then I actually wasn’t :(” it’s “I wasn’t properly taught to handle things not coming easily to me, but the adults around me were counting on me not being a ‘difficult’ child in school.”

people who use it as some weird bragging method or interpret it that way are ignoring the way a lot of school systems force certain roles on students to simplify the learning process. If your kid doesn’t need to take notes to understand a science concept bc they get it naturally, well that’s good, but now you’re not teaching them how to take notes and they’re not learning that important soft skill. but because ‘gifted’ kids are easy and don’t show that they’re falling behind in learning in other categories that are harder to quantify, they eventually fall behind after that catches up to them. It’s about the failures of a one size fits all school system trying to compensate in the worst way possible.

[jabberwockypie]

And also the thing where ‘gifted’ kids are super likely to also be neuroatypical, which they don’t get screened for because they appear to be doing well in school. Or “You can’t be ADHD/autistic/etc, because you’re doing so well in school!”. Or being shamed for developing mental health issues/generally not being able to keep up with school work later, because you USED TO BE able to do it just fine.

Or the assumption that just because you can read well or you like math class, you’re somehow more EMOTIONALLY mature than your little kid brain is actually capable of being.

Or gifted kids whose parents and teachers put immense pressure on them to Do Great Things and Save The World and you’re like. “I’m 10 and I have no idea how to do that, but everyone is saying that’s my job?”.

[quousque]

while everyone else was learning how to complete assignments and do homework and study for tests and make friends, I was off learning advanced math and english and all about quipus. and by the time I was like “wait SHIT how the fuck do I study and how do I make friends” I was an adult and I was already expected to know those things and no one was teaching “social skills you should have learned in kindergarten”