val's guide to having a broken vag

HEY I'M KB! and this is a blog i made about my game (VAL)IANT! 🌵💖

[valsguide]

✨🌵 (val)iant: or, val’s guide to having a broken vag 🌵✨ ...is a narrative game about vagina problems, like vaginismus. Play as Val, a gremlin college student struggling with their relationship to their body, as well as their relationship with sex. This game is fundamentally about how we as a society learn (or don't learn) about sex. It’s hella gay, there’s a rhythm minigame (impossible), and some difficult but important conversations about bodies and sex. Let me know how you do on the rhythm game btw.

You can play the game in your computer browser here!

We also have a website because I finally got my shit together! Title screen art (above) by Arielle Blaise Toney and UI work by Stella Shi 💖

[gender-critical-analytical]

I felt so vindicated when that study on period blood loss that used ACTUAL blood instead of water came out and confirmed that women bleed a lot more than we were previously told because I had BEEN saying that the amount that was showed in studies was absolutely incorrect for years. My old doctor was like "I'm sure it feels like it's a lot more than that, but it's only about two tablespoons a day!" As if I wasn't filling up three overnight pads a day and still bleeding through and somehow getting it all over my underwear. I lose like 8 ounces on day two alone, fuck all of these people who do jank ass studies you can't trust any of these men in the labs

[luncheon-aspic]

A public health researcher I know had an informant who was recording the contents of her diva cup every cycle and when she brought the data to her doctor he was like "that's not true". 🙃

[kusali]

Frothing at the mouth every time I see a sex ed resource that says "use condoms" without any further elaboration. "Condoms prevent STIs and pregnancy in the vast majority of cases when used correctly" but then they don't talk about what correctly IS

Correct use of a condom means

Using the right size, because if it's too big it can slide off or leak and if it's too small it can break or come off. Condoms usually come in 5 sizes, I'm sure you could find others outside of that as well but in ten years of sex work I found they covered everyone

Using lube, even if you think you don't need it. With the exception of oral sex, condoms should always be used with lube, 100% of the time. Most important lube should be applied to the outside but a drop in the tip of the condom before putting it in is also a good idea

Being mindful that latex is prone to wearing out, being damaged by heat etc. Condoms should be kept somewhere cool, not folded in wallets or sat on in back pockets and should be changed between activities and after about 15 minutes of any vigorous activity. Ask me how I know (a condom snapped on my leg when a client was pulling out, because I didn't change it when I should have)

The penetrative partner should hold the base of the condom when they pull out, and should do so immediately after they ejaculate so the condom doesn't leak or come off as the penis gets flaccid

Bonus: a lot of people think hand stuff can't transmit STIs. Wrong! If you give your partner a handjob and then touch yourself you can get HPV, herpes (low risk), and infections like chlamydia and gonorrhea

This isn't meant to be stressful, and the most common STIs are the most treatable - and often curable - but getting gonorrhea in your eyes after a facial still extremely sucks and yet no one talks about the fact that any mucous membrane can be effected, not just your genitals (yes this includes your mouth and throat)

In ten years of doing sex work where I saw 10 clients a day most of the time I've had 4 condom fails ever. One was what I mentioned above when it snapped on my leg, one was a client on top of me didn't get off fast enough after he finished and the condom came off, and the other two were a Glyde brand magnum that was inexplicably twice the thickness of a regular condom and didn't stay put on anyone so I suggest just avoiding Glyde entirely (their water based lubes also stain fyi). With all other brands correct use = extremely safe

[bakurapika]

Oil-based lube and latex condoms are also incompatible! Condoms can and should be used on toys.

I'd normally tag nsfw but I never got sex ed in school or at home. Even if you yourself don't need to use this information, it's still good in general to know, whether that be for fiction writing or advice to a friend or just to have in your back pocket (which is apparently hopefully not where you're keeping the condoms). The more you know!

[jerrycummblr-deactivated2025012]

It's really simple. If you're born with a vagina and you naturally have elevated testosterone levels, you're a man. If you have a vagina and you take testosterone, you're a woman. But also if you have a vagina, you'll never be a man. But also if you have higher testosterone then you were never a woman. Woman never yes man a vagina testosterone no was an elevated. Vagina man.

[son-of-crows-and-rats]

[hellyeahscarleteen]

Some things to remember about vulvas and vaginas in porn:

Labia come in all different sizes, shapes, and colors. It is perfectly normal to have inner labia that extend outside the outer labia, or to have inner labia that stay within the outer labia. It is also perfectly normal to have labia that are two different sizes and shapes.

Queefing, farting, and periods are all common, normal parts of sex!

Vaginal and anal intercourse (and other types of sex!) are usually more comfortable, pleasurable, and safer when one’s natural lubrication is supplemented by additional lube—and saliva is no replacement, since it only remains effective for short periods of time and isn’t as slippery as lube.

(Read more about this in Bare Bodies: Reality Checking Mainstream Porn)

[elierlick]

Thanks to trans men donating their tissue, we know the exact number of nerve fibers in the clitoris. Read about it here.

[hauntedfragility]

thank you trans men

[creepymutelilbugger]

thank you trans men

[haventhefrog]

thank you trans men

[valsguide]

thank you trans men

[0hour]

My cishet friend works at Planned Parenthood.  She fought for 6 months to get the condom labels changed from “male/female” to “internal/external” and they finally did.  She brought it up at every single staff meeting until it was fixed.

That’s how you ally.

[taste-0f-your-lips-deactivated2]

but male/female is your sex??? like it’s literally fact, why bother changing it??

[0hour]

Ignorance, on my post? It could happen to you.

1. “Male/female” is not the same as “penis/vagina”. Some men have vaginas. Some women have penises. Some people have neither, or both!

2. Contraception should be accessible and worry free for everyone. Cis, trans, intersex… all bodies. We need to remove all physical and mental barriers from education and access to healthcare.

3. Internal condoms can be used for anal sex. Anal sex can be enjoyed by all bodies.

4. External condoms are a great way to share sex toys and/or keep them clean. (make sure the material of the toy and the material of the condom are compatible). Sex toys can be enjoyed by all bodies.

5. Toxic masculinity is a thing. Don’t stop a dudebro from safe sex because god forbid he needs a product labeled for females. They can’t even buy shampoo unless it’s labeled for men, you think they want to buy “female” condoms in order to have safer sex?

[hellyeahscarleteen]

"I’ve known people who menstruate to refuse painkillers for a variety of reasons, but often those reasons fall under the umbrella of believing that they, for whatever reason, deserve to experience this pain — that it is their plight, it is their lot in life. I remember feeling this way while in the throes of puberty⁠: I have a uterus, therefore pain is inbuilt into my body. When going down this line of thinking, it is easy to lean into a dangerous, tragic vein of biological essentialism, and to problematically view pain as being fundamental to so-called “womanhood.” Menstrual health is a health and human rights issue. And it should be treated as such by you and everyone around you. The taboos and stigma surrounding it are outdated, cruel, and dangerous." Emily Wilson is back with yet another fantastic and paradigm-shifting piece here at Scarleteen! Emily speaks to all the ways we've been taught to believe we deserve pain and is here to dismantle those beliefs in her latest. You'll also find some guidance on supplements, activities, and other resources that may be available to you so that instead of being forced into a harmful relationship with pain, you can create your own (re)connection with the body, pain, and cramps.

Pain is an inescapable feature of humanity, but just because you have a uterus or are perceived societally as a woman doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to attempt to alleviate pain.

[librarycards]

I think teens need to be able to go to trusted adults and say “I saw something in a porn video that freaked me out and now I’m worried I’ll have to do it too” and then the adult can say “it’s ok to be nervous about sex, but remember that you don’t have to do ANYTHING you don’t want to do, ever, no exceptions” and this should be an ongoing conversation to remind young people that sexual desire isn’t monolithic and they are not uniquely weird, cowardly, or undesirable for expressing their feelings, and they deserve sexual partners who prioritize consent & autonomy always

[spacedustmantis]

recent events got me thinking

[spacedustmantis]

the stigmatization of sex leads to the stigmatization of sex workers and hypersexual people and people with other sex/sexuality related mental illnesses, it leads to a lack of understanding of reproductive health and stds, it leads to people having a much harder time figuring out their sexuality (especially when they're on the ace spectrum and/or their sexual orientation doesn't align with their romantic orientation), it leads to unsafe sex, it leads to abuse and rape going unnoticed, and it's wholly unnecessary.

just fucking talk about sex and masturbation and attraction, it's not a big deal!!

[certifiedsexed]

ID: A screenshot of a meme with Sonic the Hedgehog, leaning against the ground, a speech-bubble above him reading: "I Want People To Be Able To Talk More About Their Sex Lives In Public Spaces And I'm Not Kidding"

End ID.

[valsguide]

Payment Processor Letter

⊘Anti-Censorship Campaign ⊘ ⟡ Complaint Letter Template Customer Complaint Dept, This message is to lodge an official complaint about

not sure if this resource is circulating tumblr yet-- @/voiddebris on bluesky created this easy-to-share resource to help people making calls and sending emails to mastercard, visa, etc. let's put pressure on these megacorporations, one call at a time! UPDATE (25/7/26): here are the two websites that are the most helpful for this collective action (and what i've been using personally!) they include scripts -- let's make some phone calls!

https://stop-paypros.neocities.org/

https://yellat.money/

[valsguide]

Payment Processor Letter

⊘Anti-Censorship Campaign ⊘ ⟡ Complaint Letter Template Customer Complaint Dept, This message is to lodge an official complaint about

not sure if this resource is circulating tumblr yet-- @/voiddebris on bluesky created this easy-to-share resource to help people making calls and sending emails to mastercard, visa, etc. let's put pressure on these megacorporations, one call at a time! UPDATED (25/7/27): here are some websites that have been extremely helpful for this collective action (and what i've been using personally)! they include scripts -- let's make some phone calls!

https://stop-paypros.neocities.org/

https://yellat.money/

https://stopcollectiveshout.com/

[fuzzynecromancer]

Just to clarify, there's a bill that would STOP credit card companies from controlling who's allowed to spend money on porn or "risque" (read: queer) content. If you don't think big business should be able to tell you what to spend your own damn money on, call your senators and reps to let them know! It's the Fair Access to Banking Act, H.R.987 in the House, S.410 in the Senate.

[emmaubler]

Banks and credit cards should not be in the business of making moral judgments about what their customers spend their money on. Their job is to facilitate transactions, period. If it's not illegal, then they should have no say on who buys guns or porn or junk food or any other thing somebody might decide is objectionable.

[catblinker]

this is an american bill about american companies that, as usual, effects people worldwide. if you're statesian, here's a chance to make something decent of it- put pressure on your politicians to pass this bill and protect queer porn and art, especially transfeminine porn and art!

[blazing-butterfly-inactive]

Text - H.R.987 - 119th Congress (2025-2026): Fair Access to Banking Act

Text for H.R.987 - 119th Congress (2025-2026): Fair Access to Banking Act

[valsguide]

val is safe for now

still appearing in searches on steam:

but kind of not appearing in search bars on itch?:

censoring pornography means censoring sex education. this situation is fucked up and, of course, primarily hurts queer and trans creators. we need to organize against this.

[abouquetofdaylillies-deactivate]

Pre-menstrual depression is always depicted as like "He He! I had a box of icecream bars and cried while watching the Titanic!" But in reality, it's more like, "I'm standing the edge of an abyss. There is nothing good inside of me, I'm filled with rage and desperation."

It's crazy that being told how to deal with that is never a part of anyone's menstrual sex education.

[headspace-hotel]

This has already been said in the notes, but if PMS causes extreme depression and even suicidal ideation, that is in fact something that most people do not experience and it can be treated

Like for the majority it really is "oh i'm hungrier and moodier than usual"

^this should be a part of sex education so the point still stands

[godesssiri]

I went to my doctor after I was walking to work one morning and saw a bus coming and actually took a step to throw myself in front of it before I pulled myself together. Later that day I started bleeding and was literally like someone flipped a switch and I didn't feel suicidal anymore. Which made me feel like I was loosing my mind because who goes from 'I want to throw myself in front of a bus' to 'I'm perfectly fine' just like that? I did some research, I went to the doctor and described my feelings, he looked me in the eye and gently asked what I thought it was, I said I'd read about PMDD and I thought it might be that, he said 'I think so too' and wrote a prescription.

If, before you get your period, you feel furiously angry, suicidal, irritated by every tiny thing to the point you want to murder someone, stuck in a black hole you'll never escape from. If you are experiencing extreme emotions for what seems like no good reason, especially if you get your period and those extreme emotions just go away. You're probably not just PMSing , you may have PMS's feral big sister PMDD and it's treatable.

Also this is something that can develop as you get older. So if you used to get normal PMS but what I wrote above sounds more like your norm now then don't just write it off as regular PMS.

[wizardgender]

Saw that post about transmascs and how ppl need to talk more about vaginal atrophy and how it's easily treatable with estrogen cream without affecting your HRT and it got me thinking about how none of us transfems seem to talk about dick atrophy either and how it's also easily treatable with topical testosterone cream provided you're not taking a T blocker (so on a GnRH agonist, estradiol monotherapy, or have had bottom surgery). Without T you don't get that passive tissue maintenance so unless you want to get hard every other day for the rest of your life to keep it healthy you're kinda screwed and erections can become really painful, let alone the change in length/shape. So yeah ask about topical testosterone.

[meshugenist]

daily sildenafil and tadalafil are also good options afaik. working well for me anyway tho idk exactly what the effect on total T levels are. tho it should be noted that topical cream does actually affect your levels a bit, it's just far lower dose than your actual primary HRT so it doesn't necessarily like ruin the effects or raise your E/T levels enough to be an issue. prob a good idea to get your levels checked after using any of these options for at least a month to make sure your levels are all still in target range and make adjustments as necessary. also goes without saying but please masturbate a lot regardless of whether or not you are using these options, it's good for you and will help prevent atrophy to a degree all by itself!

[celestialrunes]

I hope I’m not derailing since this post was started for transfems but I’m worried about those on T in the tags who are asking if masturbation is enough to prevent vulva atrophy and the answer is… no. Not sure why, but it is different with the vulva than penises. Make sure you get estrogen cream as soon as you start feeling discomfort or pain. Its possible it could turn into chronic pain called vulvodynia, and it sucks, but early treatment can prevent it.

I’m not sure if there’s a similar condition for penises where atrophy pain is constant (as opposed to just with erections), but if you’re feeling unexplained pain in the genital region after starting/being on HRT (or birth control, or anything that affects hormone levels) its possible that you’re experiencing atrophy. It causes shrinkage in any genitalia, so that’s usually one of the more observable ways it occurs.

As far as I know atrophy on its own may not cause (consistent) chronic pain as there’s a sizeable amount of people on HRT without it, so there’s no need to panic - it’s just something you gotta know the signs for. It can still feel a bit uncomfortable even without pain, so if it impedes with your baseline comfort level you should get it looked at!

[wizardgender]

You're not derailing at all we're a community and this is important info for everyone c:

[valsguide]

the fact that anyone in this godforsaken country (the 🔪US of A🔪) has to pay for menstrual products is INSANE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!