Death to Context

And shucks to anything that might be mistaken for the profound.

[frownyalfred]

I love how all of the Batman villains are like “ah he’s not at the manor, it’s defenseless! and then alfred just racks an AK-47 and is like pull up bitch

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Batman’s Villains: The butler will be easy prey!

He’s just an old man…he doesn’t have any of the Batman’s gadgets or training or fighting skills!

Alfred: Oh my you’re right

There’s something else of Master Bruce’s I don’t have as well

(Cocks a shotgun) A CODE AGAINST KILLING

[welshronin]

Batman’s Villains: Wayne isn’t here to save you old man!

Alfred:

[dragonpuppies]

Alfred is the original “Call an ambulance — but not for me”

[frownyalfred]

@dragonpuppies I spent way too long on this

[qwertyu858]

[trader-j0e]

[a-boy-too-weird]

Bruce: I have a code.

Alfred: And I have a gun.

[dadzawa-adopt-dabi]

Bruce: time to remove the guns.

Alfred: good fucking luck.

[frankenmouse]

I’ve peer reviewed @ebonyheartnet’s addition and found that it deserves a reblog.

[shittymoviedetails]

This is what the Marvel Cinematic Universe looks like to people who don’t follow it.

[tanzenlicht]

Oh come on, that’s not fair. Women aren’t featured in nearly that many Marvel movies.

[ask-the-almighty-google]

Was about to scroll past when I saw that comment

[onodera-kosaki]

[vodcar]

country gnomes,

take my bones

[cryptidfuckery]

to a place,

they don't belong

[annabellioncourt]

see shit like this is the reason that it’s so hard to turn my back on this website. Where else, pray tell, are you going to find this kind of quality nonsense.

[druggeddraccus]

west virginia

[ignorethisatyourperil]

Excuse me, what

[homunculus-argument]

character in a movie: Oh no, angry dog, please don’t bite me!

the dog: I’m at work! I’m doing so good at being at work! I’m barking because my handler gave the sign ‘bark’! I am going to get such a good grade in being a dog actor, which is completely possible to achieve, and normal to want! I am doing a great job! I am proud of myself for doing such a great job! I love this, because I’d make it physically impossible to get anything done if I wasn’t enjoying it! I’m barking!

[sindri42]

I love seeing dogs and wolves in movies because they’re acting so vicious but also their tails are wagging so hard unless the post-processing guys specifically edited out the tails (which is slightly less obvious but also hilarious in a different way once you spot it).

[spectral-cervid]

This is why I love the dog in the original casting of The Thing so damn much. I have never seen an acting dog move with such a deliberate, calm intent. It was like every single motion and gesture this animal made was intentional.

Apparently, according to the behind-the-scenes documentation, this dog was just fuckin like that. Almost never, if at all, looked at the camera crews and production teams. Never excitedly wagged his tail on set no matter how much of a good boy he was being. If he did, it was the same… deliberate motions.

His name was Jed, and even though he’s a dog, he deserves an oscar. He was an exceptionally good boy.

[shitpostinguniverse]

[thebestoftumbling]

[maglor-still-lives]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[actualmythicalcreature]

I taught my kid that swear words (important note: this does not include derogatory names for groups of people) are just words that can carry a social consequence. When you are a child, this consequence isn’t on you, as much as it is on your parents, who are responsible for you. As such, parents usually just ask their kids not to swear. Instead of that, I told him to ask me before he swore so I could explain the potential social consequences and we could make the decision together. So far, he’s asked a handful of times if he could swear at Trump while we watched the news. I found this perfectly acceptable, so he got to say “Ｆｕｃｋ trump”. Once when he dislocated his knee, he asked to swear - I said yea, he yelled “HOLY SHIT OUCH” and I asked if it made him feel better, he said it did. Once in traffic someone almost hit us and he asked to swear, I said yes - he said “That guy is an ASSHOLE” and I was like, yeah. 100% he was. He’s never asked to swear at a time that I felt was inappropriate. I have 0 regrets about this parenting decision.

[elfwreck]

(From Mama’s Bank Account, by Kathryn Forbes)

[guerrillatech]

[butchyena]

ive been doing a lot of youtube recipe binging lately so i was recommended this video and i was like fuck it diet soup why not

and it sounded pretty tasty so after the vid i scrolled down to see what people thought of it, and i just really need to share with you all what the comment section is like

and for the one that broke me:

[joedizzlefoshizzel]

[honestmagpie]

I laughed so hard I gave myself an actual headache oml

[dnd-apothecary]

i laughed so hard at this comment

[safety-p1ns-deactivated20220116]

This is Sugar Free Gummy Bears 2

[mothmannnnn]

Justifying the act of purchasing this mousepad by convincing myself that it’s actually a really nuanced and feminist piece of artwork that rejects the male gaze and destigmatizes the appreciation of male bodies. Tits lol.

[pesky-lemon]

I like how Kirk is fainting in the background

[lew-basnight]

The thing re Weird Al that I think is worth recognizing is illustrated by the Spike Jones Jr quote “One of the things that people don't realize about Dad's kind of music is, when you replace a C-sharp with a gunshot, it has to be a C-sharp gunshot or it sounds awful." It’s like really good parody has to do it all backwards and in heels, and Weird Al gets in there and counts the syllables and pours over the phrasing and word choices so that it all sounds precisely like the original, and then re-records the song, acknowledging the tiniest details of the recording, and also makes it a highly detailed spoof of an adjacent and absurdly unrelated piece of popular culture. I think really good parody has a love for the source materiel that’s impossible to fake. It takes real musicianship (or craft) to do and it usually gets tossed aside as “novelty” recording.

[icarus-suraki]

You gotta be fuckin’ good if you want to fuck it up.

[lesbianrey]

who wore it better

[tdot-tumbldee]

Ahem. No contest.

[oneheadtoanother]

[bluegreenpurple-thesideaccount]

Playing through a game with a friend and they don’t check every container and square inch of the map:

[whitmanic]

You want everyone to be able to slot into a pride and prejudice au but no one can accurately fit into the niche that Mr Darcy and Elizabeth have cornered which is completely and uniquely deranged and sophisticated in a way no marvel character, nay, not even an over watch character, can dare compete with

[whitmanic]

[submalevolentgrace]

miss piggy: you are sad and pathetic and small and far too green, both your status and wealth are an embarrassment, and your mother's voice is shrill and painful... un. like. moi! *hair swish*

kermit: *stunned open mouth silence*

miss piggy: yet every day since i first saw you at the dance all i have been able to think about is how you are suitable for nothing in life but to be my bride! you are below me in every possible way but you simply must let me marry you!

kermit, flailing uncontrollably: THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL?!?!

[seschend]

THIS is the greatest Austen pastiche EVER

[pathos-logical]

[ID: A tag that reads: "#muppets however..." End ID]