Cis people who don't know much about gender stuff but are genuinely trying to be respectful are so cute
Today a girl in class told me I look pretty and she immediately froze and said "wait no. Handsome? Good, you look good" and I'm like Vanesa I would kill for you
Genuinely tho like. Trans people notice when you put in the effort. When you correct yourself after misgendering us, we notice. When you put thought into the language you use for us, we notice. Just basic consideration and respect is surprisingly rare from anyone who's not a close friend, so when you put like, any thought at all into how to respect our identity, we notice.
I know we're not supposed to reward people for doing shit that should be the standard, but it isn't the standard right now, and if we don't acknowledge people who are getting shit right then the standard isnt ever gonna change. So from the bottom of my heart, to all the cis people out there putting genuine effort into helping the trans people in your life feel comfortable and respected, thank you.
yes this, a thousand times this
and actually you should reward people for doing things that you want to be the standard, that's how you get people to change! working with kids who have difficult behaviors we're taught to use positive rewards to reinforce anything that we want to see more of, even if it seems like they havent really earned the reward. You want the kid to sit at the carpet quietly? you damn well better be giving them a sticker or token or at least praise or something every time they do it, because brains can be remarkably simple, and if a reward is given every time someone does the thing (whether it's sitting on the carpet or using proper pronouns) their brain will make the connection that the thing = reward, and make you want to do the thing! this is how to make lasting change in people big and small
tl;dr: you should reward people when they use the right pronouns and are considerate, because then they'll do it more
