shark vs the universe
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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@violetgalval
Pitch: a muppet movie where the muppets play D&D, and it cuts between the muppets around the table and the fantasy being acted out, but instead of it just being the muppets dressed up in D&D fantasy costume, it's celebrity actors but the muppets do the voices, and the actors have to act how those muppets would. Imagine a barbarian played by Jason Mamoa voiced by Miss Piggy.
oH. OH I WANT THIS BADLY.
Whenever I do worldbuilding I try to keep this image in mind
i hate this fucking site so much *clicks reblog*
Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.
Ah, the Mary Suez.
hundreds of years of language evolution and innumerable events had to line up in the exact right order for that pun to make sense.
This.
Homestuck Browser
bottom text
https://bambosh.github.io/unofficial-homestuck-collection/
I absolutely need everyone to reblog this right now. This is an offline browser meant to read Homestuck as it was intended, with Flash.
This project is absolutely BIG and the person behind it BIGGER, and you guys have no idea how glad I am to have a complete Homestuck archive right at hand that also has stuff like The Baby Is You and Humanimals among so much more. Like what?? It’s the real MSPA.
Please share this. Go to the creator’s Twitter (Bamboshu) and retweet too! Donate.
Also, all the content is less than 4GB? I’d think it’d be way more heavy. You can even save it on a USB and you’ve got the entirety of Homestuck and MSPA in your hands…
okay so I know Homestuck is a meme and all, but like - it is absolutely no kidding one of the most influential works of the last fifteen years? Undertale is fucking massive for an indie game and got the kind of critical accolades that last and inspire all kinds of imitation, and it was started in Homestuck’s author’s garage - its most iconic song was also used in Homestuck for crying out loud. Two of the 2019/2020 Hugo and Nebula nominees for Best Novel, including the Hugo winner, are by former Homestuck fic authors who are open about the fact. I can recognize threads from Homestuck, and, more than that, from those authors’ specific interpretations of Homestuck, in both. Neither the Hugo nor the Nebula are small potatoes! Both those books are going to impact SFF in their own right; it’s gonna ripple out from there. I can name at least three other books published through major houses whose authors spent time in Homestuck fandom. This is just off the top of my head.
I am being one hundred percent sincere when I say that when if we lose Homestuck to the digital decay of Flash, we lose a modern landmark in SFF and experimental fiction. It’s worth grabbing a copy of your own, and this is a service to the world that’s been done here. I’m not joking.
All you fuckers are like “pop tarts are ravioli!” “Uncrustables are ravioli!”
I will hit you in the face with the concepts of convergent evolution and analogous structures
I politely request that you do this.
You asked for it. This will get long and I’ve honestly put too much work into this but here goes.
So first thing first, to understand this concept you need to know how a phylogenetic tree works. A phylogenetic tree is a diagram of what species are related to what, and uses branches and nodes to show this. Real trees can get very large and complex, but let’s start with this example with 4 species.
Is species B more closely related to species A or to species D? Looking at the edge you’d assume A, because it’s closer. But in reality A and B are the least related of the group- they have the farthest common ancestor. The common ancestor is the node at which the branches split. Trace backwards to the split that contains A and B and you’ll find it’s all the way back at node 1, while the split that contains B and D is the closer node 2. The closer the common ancestor, the more you’re related. B and C are the most closely related of the group, because they share a very recent common ancestor. A, being the furthest related from B/C/D, is the outgroup.
Another concept that people find hard to grasp is that just because two animals look similar, that does not mean they are related. Relatedness is determined by evolutionary history, shown by shared structures. Shared structures that are also seen in the most recent common ancestor are called homologous, and they can show an evolutionary relationship. An example could be the tooth structure of a lion and a cat. However, sometimes two unrelated animals come up with the same idea on their own. Birds, bats, and butterflies all have wings, but they all arose independently- the most recent common ancestor of all those was VERY far back and definitely did not have wings. Those non-related but similar structures are called analogous. You cannot compare them as if they are proof of being related.
Mammal natural history is especially tricky with this. These two tiny mousy things: (A vole and a shrew)
Are MUCH more distantly related than these two: (A deer and a dolphin), who some argue are even in the same order.
(Images from Wikipedia commons)
Okay, so that’s the science lesson for the day. But what does this have to do with ravioli? Well, you can track the history of food somewhat similarly to the evolutionary history of animals. It’s a little less exact due to the changeable nature of making food, but history and relationships can be seen. I claim that the filled shape with sealed edges that is shared by ravioli, pop tarts, and Uncrustables sandwiches is an analogous structure, and grouping all three into one genus is not supported by their evolutionary history. (How is this a stronger thesis than most of what I wrote in college?)
Before we get bogged down in the details, let’s start with an overview of the big picture. Do we organize food by the culture that created it, or by its components, or by its style? If we were comparing something like sushi to something like ceviche, cultural differences would definitely come into play. However all three of the food families in question (pocket pies, sandwiches, and Italian pasta) are Western European or American in origin with heavy naturalization in white American culinary culture. Thus, we can mostly ignore cultural differences and focus on the structure.
There’s not a single common ancestor to ALL food like there is in animals, but with some grouping we can get to plant-based at the kingdom level, grain-based at the phylum level, flour-based at the class level, and divide that into the subclasses of Savory and Sweet.
Each of these two subclasses branches off into many, many infraclasses and orders. The three we are most interested in I postulate are as follows:
Putting the pie in an entirely sweet subclass, I realize, is not entirely in keeping with history as meat pies were and are rather common. If I cared enough to edit all of my diagrams at this point I would go back and do so, but this is a Tumblr essay that will maybe be fully read by a dozen people so I will call it fine. Either way, pie is the common ancestor to which we trace the pop-tart.
As you can see, each of the parties in question (Pop-tarts, ravioli, and Uncrustables) have an easily tracked evolutionary line and their filled wheat-flour-based shapes are analogous structures, not shared by a common ancestor.
Finally, to conclude my point, close relatives of the species in question can also help determine if they are related. If the close relatives of both species share the same traits, then they can be more seriously studied for relatedness. Let’s look at the closest relatives of ravioli (other members of the fresh pasta family), uncrustables (other members of the Sandwich family), and pop tarts (other members of the Pie family).
Even the closest relatives often do not share the filled form, so saying that poptarts and uncrustables ARE ravioli ignores culinary history as well as common sense.
I love this so much thank you for your service
what would you do if that was you?
The end!
alxjalxksldksjskc the END
Falling in love, speed run
HOLY SHIT I JUST FOUND THE BEST FUCKING HOUSE EVER. I NEED IT IMMEDIATELY SOMEONE GIVE ME $3.75million RIGHT NOW.
What even is this??? Why are there so many shapes? Why is there a fake mining tunnel with cars about to drop off a bridge like in a bad western?
There is just. So much going on here. And I love all of it. Supposedly that garage fits 11 cars and comes with a lift and a painting setup.
IMAGINE the DND games you could have right here.
Look at this fucking castle shit. Apparently there’s a huge dumbwaiter to bring up your firewood. And does that support pole have a tiny rock climbing wall???
OH MY GOD IT DOES. And there’s a piano with…rails? IDK.
I have 10% of an idea what’s happening here but is that…bench? covered in a string of heads??? With some kind of…prayer kneeling thingy at the end there? What is happening. What kind of weird religious bastard built this place?
I have so many questions about this random mining tunnel thing. So fucking many.
There’s even a 3D tour available: https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/36570-Us-Highway-24-N-Buena-Vista-CO-81211/2076799379_zpid/?
Hey katy I know what house we’re stealing in the event of an apocalypse.
AGREED.
@katy-l-wood
So that table you pointed out? It’s got a secret Easter Egg. It’s got laser engraved place mats. With….interesting names on them.
They say “Loader,” “Shit Nipper,” “Motor Man” and more I can’t make out or get a good angle on. It’s like the Seven Dwarves of place mats.
HOLY SHIT. What the fuck???
AND DOES IT ALREADY HAVE A MAP IN THE MIDDLE?! Is this actually already a DND table?
@katy-l-wood
Got three more names of the table. “Stand Up Man”, “Dispatcher”, and “Foreman”
But more importantly, on the first floor, near one of the bedrooms, there is a door with a sign that says “You are Here. We are Close.” Which is when I realized this place is most definitely haunted
There are so many utterly bizarre signs in this house.
ALL THAT *AND* IT’S ALREADY HAUNTED?? THIS PLACE JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER!!
This feels like a built in real life Sims fever dream house. Everything is expensive looking but like, doesn't quite match. Like the "player" selected based on benefits and not aesthetic. And it looks pieced together over time so stuff is crammed where it fits until you build on for something specific (DnD table, looking at you). Like, a 10 year old made this house.
getting emotional about Howl’s Moving Castle (the book, i am a book HMC stan) just, like, existing
Diana Wynne Jones writing a spunky fantasy book about a girl who finds freedom and confidence in being an old woman, a fire demon who’s actually a fallen star, a wizard with more drama than sense and his apprentice who has to deal with him: oh this is going to be fucking people up for YEARS
me explaining to the other trainers that apricorns are unknown outside of Johto because of deliberate suppression by the Silph and Devon corporations to present artificial pokeballs as the only means of capturing pokemon and establish regional monopolies after they eliminate renewable sources
(via @itsbenedict)
eternalfarnham replied to your post
you’re in the pocket of Big Ball, I see
there’s no pocket for me to BE in, there’s no LOBBYING involved, there’s no SUPPRESSION campaign because you don’t need one! traditional methods suppress themselves when you make modern pokéballs available. you might as well start accusing AT&T of deliberately suppressing the noble traditional art form of the goddamn semaphore.
not to mention OP demonstrates a total lack of understanding of the market realities of the pokéball industry- Silph and Devon are not monopolies, if they weren’t in constant competition their magic monster domination spheres wouldn’t cost two bucks a pop. the ball spec is a public standard, and Bill Masaki’s storage system based on that standard is an open-source project. they’re only the two largest players because they’re able to leverage economies of scale. you still get smaller operations like the Laverre City Poké Ball Factory, with better regional supply chains and local brand recognition, making room for themselves in the market.
sm FUCKING h at y’all granola-crunching conspiracy theorists. you probably also believe Super Potions cause autism.
Ok, but it is a shame that artisanal balls are basically off the market now. Like, you have to ride the monorail and hike through a half dozen routes just to find someone willing to sell you a Fast Ball. Believe me, when your boss at the power plant needs five Electrodes by Tuesday you are not going to want to make the trip to Alola; you’re going to head on down to the Mart and get some Ultra Balls, which will do the trick but aren’t well tailored to the job.
I’m with you that modern catching techniques are better, not to mention more humane, but there genuinely is a loss from more niche balls becoming harder to find. Maybe someday the long slowpoketail of consumer demand will be met, but I wouldn’t hold my breath for that Shellder.
look y’all are missing the point. mass production of silph balls crowding out traditional apricorn craftsmanship is, if anything, more a side effect of the real problem: that capture artifacts are too easy to get your hands on these days. $2 basic balls are a problem. before modern ball tech you had to go to an artisan, yes, but part of their job was to care about who had the power to recruit pokémon from the wild, as a backstop against another Knight of Veilstone coming along. there was a time when you’d never lay a hand on a ball yourself until it was clear you respected pokémon, whether tame or in the wild. but now, a “pokémon journey” is open to practically every teenager, even if they’ve got not interest in treating their team with trust and love.
the worldwide rise in the last century of organized crime and apocalyptic cults who use pokémon as their muscle is a direct result of capture artifacts becoming a mass produced market commodity rather than a mechanism for preserving the sacred trust between humans and the wilderness. it’s a miracle that the powder keg hasn’t already gone off by now.
Oh that is rank historical revisionism - what, do you think artisans’ definitions of “respect” were constructed in a vacuum? We already had rhetoric as far back as the warring states period in Ransei about how only the soldierly classes, overwhelmingly descendants of nobility and taught from birth, had the intangible qualities necessary to “bond” with Pokémon. And when we start seeing apricorn balls develop in Johto, which borders Kanto - Kanto, where we know there’s been extensive cultural cross-contamination with Auroran and Dragnoran expeditions - surprise, suddenly only a small population has the intangible qualities necessary to use them, too.
That notion was, and remains, a tool to limit general access to Pokémon in the interest of maintaining class disparities. I mean, have we already forgotten the Aether Foundation’s pseudo-conservationist nonsense? Their attempt to manipulate natural resources and establish a power base in Alola, while they were modernizing and taking their place on the world stage, was founded on this exact rhetoric of “rescuing” Pokémon from local disenfranchised populations, as if taking Pokémon away from places like Po Town would improve things instead of increasing competition between trainers and decreasing safety.
Do you want more disillusioned kids joining gangs? Because that’s how you get Teams!
Artisanal balls and anyone who supports them are tools of the aristocracy to suppress the common folk. In the days when a ball could only be made by hand by an expert, only the wealthiest could afford pokemon, and as a result anyone not born into the “elites” was forced to be subservient to their “betters” for protection.
The release of the $2 pokeball meant that the balance of power shifted to the common citizens. If any child can wield the power of a god, the military and the government and the wealthiest businessmen have no power over them.
More than that, instead of power being determined by the wealth to acquire pokemon, power comes exclusively from the dedication, effort, and empathy required to train them to high levels and to maintain their loyalty. If a person simply buys their pokemon, then those pokemon will either stay at low levels forever, or refuse to obey the human because there is no respect between them; the most powerful people in the world are those who caught a critter at level 2-5 and then devoted their life to raising it into a world power.
And as a beautiful side benefit of this, standard of living has increased across the board. Since every household has at least one minor pokemon in the family and there are increasing numbers of professional, working pokemon joining cities and other civilized areas and working to improve them, every aspect of economy and industry has been enhanced by their supernatural capabilities. Electricity is generated cleanly and in abundance for everybody. Pollution is cleaned up almost completely and instantly. The production of farms, mines, and workshops is multiplied, even as safety standards improve. Yes, every few years another potential apocalypse comes about and needs to be prevented by a couple of brave teenagers, but outside of those incidents the world is damn close to utopia.
…that was all fascinating to read and I would like to see more like it, please
for instance; what the hell is in lemonade that makes it a more powerful healing alternative to regular potions
Opium
See, unlike in the real world, the Pokémon world has yet to ban cocaine in drinks.
this website is INCREDIBLE
my last game is actually overwatch haha… wbu?
Executive chef at a top Thai restaurant tells Gordon Ramsay that his Pad Thai is trash [x]
Lmao “what do you want to know from me?” Fuck!
So no one thinks that Gordon’s being “Put in his place” or something, this is from Gordon’s show where he specifically goes to places around the world to be schooled in how they do their cuisine and un-fuck the British (Imperialist but we can’t admit that on TV, but he does hint STRONGLY at it in some episodes) way of cooking “exotic” dishes by learning from the people who do it best.
That’s the world’s most successful chef putting himself in a position to learn from chefs around the world in world-class restaurants, grandmother’s houses, in a cramped make-shift kitchen on a rocking and speeding steam train, and more. He doesn’t shy away from learning from people who’ve never been in the remote vicinity of a culinary arts school or run a “professional” kitchen.
And here he’s showing a chef what he thinks of as Pad Thai and if you don’t think one of the most talented chefs on earth didn’t know he was specifically setting himself up to fail to make a point to his audience, then hopefully you do now! <3
the context- he wasnt saying ‘heres my world famous pad tai for you to sample, a recipe i hold more dear then my own mother’ its closer to ‘here, this is how i was taught to cook pad tai in liverpool by a man named charles, how far off am i?’
I also think the precise criticism is interesting. The other chef doesn’t say it’s bad. He definitely doesn’t say it’s trash. He doesn’t say it’s a bad meal. What he says is that it’s not pad thai. It’s been labelled as a specific thing and it doesn’t resemble that thing to someone from that culture.
Just another reason I love Gordon ramsay
That’s how Gordon Ramsay learned proper Indonesian fried rice and approved by Uncle Roger.
Howl really do be like: I will tell Sophie she is annoying and that I wish she’d stop doing everything she does and that I do not like her. *proceeds to be extremely concerned for sophie’s well being and risks his life to save her*
oh hold on i just read the part where michael says "i think he goes by calcifer" as an answer to sophie asking why howl didnt turn her out and............... is it really calcifer.......... or is it the fact that calcifer goes by howls heart.............
I HAVE NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT BEFORE OMG LOSING MY SHIT RIGHT NOW AAAAAHHHHHHH
Do I need an actual corpse or will my phone be enough? 🤔
Simple explanation of the bills that farmers in India are protesting - in TikTok form!
hey non indians are encouraged to reblog this actually since what the indian government hates most is word of their terrible governing spreading outside of india!
You were designed to be a weapon of war, an angel of death. Your creators, however, told you that you would be a protector of innocents above all else. Now, centuries after humanity was extinguished, you awake once more to defend a budding civilization from destruction.
“This is insane.” The captain whispered to himself, staring at the trucks leaving the facility with a tired gaze.
“I know!” The lab assistant Jerry laughed, shaking his head. “We actually did it. We made a virus capable of mutating human DNA into its ultimate form. Superpowers… immortality… it’s no longer a fairy tale.”
The young man pulled the collar of his military uniform uncomfortably. “A fairy tale… or a nightmare?”
BOOM!
“What was that?” Jerry’s face was pale as he turned back towards the sound of the explosion. “It was coming from the containment cells!”
“Subject 907?”
“It’s gotta be! She’s the most terrifying… well, except for 908… they’ve never even let that one out of deep cryo… what should we do?”
The captain turned back, his hand on his weapon, his voice tense. “I’ll go check.” Today was supposed to be the day I finally dragged those bastards in and take this hell facility down… but no one’s responded to my signal and now there’s this… did something go wrong with the operation?
His footsteps echoed down the empty hallway as he ran towards the containment center. Flashing red emergency lights had turned on, bathing the white, sterile walls and ceiling in a blood-tinged color. The number of the containment cells flashed by him as he ran, his heart beating wildly.
905… 906… here it is! 907.
Taking a deep breath, he gently pushed open the door.
And immediately wished he hadn’t.
The room was filled with death.
The ceiling was torn open leaving the room open to the night sky. Blood was splashed everywhere, staining the remaining ceiling and walls, pooling on the floor in thick puddles. Severed limbs, bone, hair and organs were strewn about, leading up to a large pile of corpses. There were bodies stacked on top of one another, white lab coats and military uniforms barely recognizable in the carnage, reaching towards the high ceiling of what had once been a nearly empty cell. And on top of this grisly pile, sat… her.
A young woman, wearing a hospital gown, her bare feet swinging carelessly as she hummed a tune to herself. Her skin was clean despite the blood that soaked the room, her skin glowing pale in the moonlight that shown through the hole in the ceiling. Her dark hair was scattered around her shoulders, her delicate features relaxed as her face turned towards the sky, her eyes never once glancing down in his direction. In her hands she cradled a ball of thick black smoke, which was constantly swirling, expanding and shrinking, as if fighting against an invisible boundary. Similar black smoke formed wings stretching over ten feet from her back, moving slowly back and forth in time with the song she was humming.
“Subject 907.” The captain whispered, his voice cracking with the words.
The girl ignored him, continuing to hum and stare up at the stars.
Perhaps she doesn’t want to be called by a number… but I don’t know of any other name to call her… except… he winced as he thought of the nickname the scientists had given this test subject, hesitating to say it out loud.
“… Angel?”
Her eyes finally looked down, the humming trailing off into uncomfortable silence. The captain held in a gasp as her gaze met his own. Her pupils were a bright violet color, vibrant, almost glowing in the darkness around her.
“Angel?” Her voice was low, soft, and comfortable to listen to. “That’s not the full name they call me.”
“…” He stayed silent, unsure of what to say.
“Might as well not shorten it… after all, it’s fairly accurate.” Her lips twisted upwards into a bitter smile. “The Angel of Death.”
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