wandrin parakeet

"C. K. Dexter Haven you have unsuspected depth!" Fannishness, reading, librarianship & comics

[fuckyeahchinesefashion]

one of the deans in beijing dance academy rehearses with students

[mondengel2]

#he's so good damn#obvs he doesn't have the same athleticism as the students#but he's so much more in control of his body#he moves much more self assuredly#and doesn't exaggerate the way the more inexperienced ones do#he knows exactly what to do and how to do it naturally#wow

[crazy-pages]

Oh so that's what books mean when they talk about seeing a swordperson or a martial artist move and immediately knowing you're fucked. If I saw someone handle a weapon or switch martial art stances that smoothly and with that economy of motion, I would immediately know I was going to die.

[ruffboi-mags]

And in his DRESS SHOES.

[glassesmcfancyhair]

One of my favorite things in the whole world will always be watching someone do something they’re an expert in.

[whosname]

[id. A twitter post by @/Bennieeexyz Jury duty letter came addressed to my cat. Not a mistake. "Felix Martinez" - that's his full name according to his vet records. My last name. His first name. Somehow he's a registered voter now. Called the county clerk. Me: My cat got summoned for jury duty. Clerk: Is the name correct on the summons? Me: Yes, but he's a cat. Clerk: Is Felix Martinez a legal resident of this county? Me: He's a legal cat. Clerk: Sir, if the name matches our records, he needs to appear or file an exemption. Me: He can't file anything. He has paws. Clerk: You can file on his behalf. Me: Under what exemption? There's no box for "is a cat." Clerk: (pause) Check "unable to serve due to medical reasons." Me: What's the medical reason? Clerk: He's a cat. Me: That's not a medical condition. Clerk: It is if it prevents him from serving. Sent in the form. Got rejected two weeks later. "Insufficient documentation. Please provide medical professional's statement." Took the letter to my vet. Me: I need you to write that my cat can't do jury duty. Vet: Why is your cat summoned for jury duty? Me: Excellent question. No good answer. Vet: This is the weirdest request I've gotten. Me: Can you just write that he's medically unfit to serve? Vet: On what grounds? Me: He's a cat. Vet: (started typing) "Patient is unable to serve due to species-related limitations including inability to speak, read, or comprehend legal proceedings." Me: Perfect. Sent it in. Got another rejection. "Summons is mandatory. Failure to appear will result in contempt of court." My roommate thought this was hilarious. Roommate: Felix is going to jail. Me: This is serious. Roommate: Bring him to court. See what happens. Decided that was actually the only option left. Day of jury duty, put Felix in his carrier. Brought the entire paper trail of rejection letters. Checked in at the courthouse. Clerk: Name? Me: Felix Martinez. Clerk: (looked at the cat carrier) Is that Felix? Me: Yes. Clerk: (long stare) He's a cat. Me: I've been saying that for six weeks. Clerk: Why didn't you file an exemption? Me: I filed three. All rejected. Showed her the letters. She read through them, expression shifting from confusion to disbelief. Clerk: Someone rejected the veterinary documentation? Me: Twice. Clerk: (called her supervisor over) You need to see this. Supervisor read everything. Looked at Felix. Looked at me. Supervisor: How did a cat get registered to vote? Me: You tell me. Supervisor: This is a data error. Me: Took you six weeks to figure that out. They dismissed Felix immediately. Apologized for the inconvenience. Supervisor: We'll remove him from the voter registry. Me: Appreciate it. Supervisor: (pause) Out of curiosity, how would he have voted? Me: Probably whatever party supports universal treats. Got a formal apology letter a week later and a voter registration card. For me this time. Apparently I wasn't registered, but my cat was. Roommate: Felix committed voter fraud. Me: Felix committed nothing. He's innocent. Roommate: That's what they all say. Felix is sleeping on the jury summons now. Fitting end to his legal career. end id]

[prophetic-writer]

I'm sorry but I have one draft that I never finished but I laugh every time I see it

[hellsquills]

Writing Tip

Neither do i

[eviliens]

Unreliable everyone

[celluloidrainbow]

D.E.B.S. (2004) dir. Angela Robinson Recruited by the U.S. government for their unique ability to lie, cheat and fight, Amy, Max, Janet and Dominique join an underground academy of secret agents known only as D.E.B.S. These crime fighting hotties set out to save the world and keep their lipstick perfectly applied while doing so. Now the girls must combine their skills for their most important mission- to capture vexing vixen Lucy Diamond, the deadliest criminal the world has ever known. When D.E.B.S. star player, Amy, falls for Lucy, chaos erupts and the D.E.B.S. loyalty is put to the test. (link in title)

[rennerei]

always 🙏

[jedusaur]

I know I'm 25 years late to the party but I'm finally watching Due South and this is the hardest I've laughed in MONTHS

[cookie-sheet-toboggan]

Air Himbo

Water Himbo

Earth Himbo

Fire Himbo

[immaplatypus]

@crvggio​ I’ve been laughing at this for 47 years

[demigoddessqueens]

And the Avatar

[an-eldritch-nightmare-deactivat]

Reblogging again because that last addition is IMPORTANT

[mypunkpansexualtwin]

But when the world needed him most, he pulled the wrong lever...

[lady-byleth]

Why do they even have that lever?

[miss-nerd-alert]

Well done everyone, 10/10 post

[stephanisoejono]

happy new year -------------_--------------------

[calamity-aims]

[greengableslover]

What do I want? I'll tell you what I want! I want Ken Railings to walk in here right now, and say 'Pam Shortt's broken both her legs, and I wanna dance with YOU!'

STRICTLY BALLROOM (1992) dir. Baz Luhrmann

[bigbigtruck]

quotes taken from the source

(the 4th one is Bumpus wanting dinner, friends can back me up on this)

[saxifraga-x-urbium]

come back to me most perfect of comics

[transpeterparkcr]

honestly kudos to Elementary for gender swapping John Watson in what we all thought was an attempt to make johnlock palatable to the masses and then proceeding to not only make them entirely platonic but also become the ONLY modern adaptation where i actually feel like them being platonic makes complete sense

[chucktaylorupset]

“Irritated fans produce fanfic like irritated oysters produce pearls.”

— Anne Jamison (via pen-in-hand)

[myfairkatiecat]

My friends and I all took a “which Jane Austen love interest would you fall for?” and I was like ooh ooh I hope I get Mr. Knightley. But also if they have Henry Tilney on there he’s super underrated and I would get his humor better than Catherine anyway so I want him too. One of my friends said she wanted Mr. Darcy and I was like eh hard pass. Everyone looked at me like I committed sacrilege and I was like look! I love him! As a character! And I think he’s great for Elizabeth! I am really super happy that Elizabeth ended up with him. And also perfectly content to not be Elizabeth because he’s just not for me. And then we took the test and I got Mr. Darcy and one of my friends said “I forgot not liking him was a prerequisite for falling in love with him” and I threw my phone at her (spiritually, not physically, bc phones are expensive)

[luntfontanne]

dearly departed fung wah bus may she rest in POWER 🫡 obsessed with ayo's go-to bit in her last press cycle being the great molasses flood and this time around it's the fung wah bus. real bostonian representation 🙂‍↕️

now you gotta pay like $35 for a bus to new york and it STILL will probably break down and leave you stranded at an ihop in connecticut :(

[luntfontanne]

imagine this 💭: open your eyes 🫵 CLOSE 'EM 🙂‍↕️ now open your MENTAL EYE 👁️ right? you are in a BUS DEPOT 🚏🚌 in the DEPTHS of boston chinatown 🏮🌆 you get the opportunity to take a $10-15 💸 bus that will take you to new york 🗽 in UNDER four hours ⏱️ sometimes THREE 🏃💨 it's like the concorde of buses ✈️ this thing's going a hundred miles— BIG bus, too🫸↔️🫷not a small bus 🤏 BIG ol' bus 🙌💪 HUNDRED miles an hour 💯 on the speedway 🛣️ sometimes? catching fire 🔥🧯 don't sit in the back 👈 don't sit in the front 👉 you will hit things 🧳⚠️ and things will hit you 🤕🔨 the bus? might explode 💥💥💥 THAT'S NOT YOUR BUSINESS ✋ your business is GETTING TO NEW YORK 🫡 and then you do :)

[tuseririna]

ROBERT DOWNEY JR and JUDE LAW as SHERLOCK HOLMES and DR. JOHN WATSON

SHERLOCK HOLMES (2009) dir. Guy Ritchie

[90s-kid-sad-adult]

lie to me

[milflaralorvan-deactivated20231]

when you see your little kitty walking toward you at a leisurely pace and say "hi baby!" bc you're excited to see her and she starts trotting a little bit faster 'cause she's excited to see you too. that's what life is all about i think