Fuck off

why are you here? go away

[memorycycle]

these teenagers and their dog are trying ruin our money laundering business. no tony put the gun down were doing this the old fashioned way. were gonna dress up as monsters and scare them

[hikari-ni-naritai]

In Japanese, they don’t say “moon,” they say “tsuki,” which literally translates to “moon,” and I think that’s how language works.

[rainbowgod666]

Hey its been at least 9 years anything changed?

[hikari-ni-naritai]

nope! all quiet on the linguistic front. i am a girl now though

[teslacarbombs-deactivated202212]

im just fucking with you your honor

[blackpyrefly]

it's hard being a polyamorous action hero because whenever i have flashbacks to all my dead wives it takes like 20 minutes to get through all of it

[3liza]

it kind of sounds like youre just feeding local women to the deadwife montage

[intactics-deactivated20211231]

and i don't necessarily believe any of this i'm just saying words recreationally

[augutsy-deactivated20141216]

isn’t it funny how people say ‘grilled cheese’ instead of ‘grilled cheese sandwich’? you could be talking about an actual piece of grilled che

i stopped typing because i realized that this is the single most worthless post ever conceived 

[sufjansjoy]

does anybody know how to get out of bed. or be a better person

[sufjansjoy]

wow

[senatortedcruz]

Didn't you retweet incest porn on 9/11?

we all mourn in different ways

[jessaerys]

[rnismatch]

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

[tamagotchi]

😍fuck

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

[phantomrose96]

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

Is it bad that I kinda wanna hit my crush with a car and then nurse him back to health like a baby bird or it normal? :)

yorue literaly insane

[11thsense]

Hello, Emily. This is Adam Driver. I came across your blog in my free time today and it pained me greatly to find a post you made recently calling me ugly and, I quote, “garbage”. I began to cry, because I have anxiety about my appearance. You have truly hurt an innocent 30 or 40 year old man who wants nothing more than to act and be happy. I hope you consider your actions in the future, as I am still crying because of you. Thank you, and goodbye.

GOUSJCJ DICJ

[jonbutter]

dude so distraught he forgot his age

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

my family has had some pretty interesting encounters with psychics/mediums that seem genuine in the past, but nothing will ever be funnier to me than the last guy my mom talked to who was so definitely bullshitting, because she said "I was hoping to hear from my husband" and the guy went "he said....it's okay to Move On" and like. every single person my mom has recounted this too has been like "He Would Not Fucking Say That". as if this was an ooc fanfic about my father. it's just so fucking funny. fake psychic dude take your shitty headcanons about my ghost dad and LEAVE!!!

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

like, my parents were legitimately insane about each other. I cannot stress how much he wouldn't say that. I have to assume his ghost was standing right next to this fake psychic yelling "WHAT THE FUCK!!!!" when he told my mom to move on lmfao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

actually. funnier to imagine he was a Real Psychic who was just trying to put a move on my mom and didn't think the ghost would do anything about it and now is now dealing with a violently angry haunting for the rest of his days lmfao

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

this psychic for the rest of his life all because he tried to hit on some dead guy's wife in an elevator

[couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name]

Ghost Dad: WE LITERALLY CHANGED OUR VOWS BECAUSE WE DIDN'T LIKE "TILL DEATH DO US PART"

Psychic: he says you need a real man. a tangible one. a man visible to the average eye.

[thequeeninyellowlace]

Psychic: I also choose this guy’s still-alive wife.

[aureliagaming]

*coughs blood* youre all just jealous of my wound. yuore trying to make me get rid of it because you wish you had a wound this cool

[fhauly]

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

[heirtocragflame]

I am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

[disco-machine]

anyone else absolutely guzzling the shit out of some wadder? a fucking boddle of wadder?

[lillie-garden]

Never ever ever eat raw white onion and then smoke cigarette.

[helpeverythingiscats]

The gnomes beat the shit out of you again?

[lillie-garden]

The gnomes beat the shit out of me again.