crusty @wearetenderashell - Tumblr Blog

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new rule: every time you post something about how people should behave or think, first think of 3 ways you could use that post to better yourself, before you even start thinking abt other people

the volume of morality posts where i click thru to OP (or a reblogger thereof) to find exactly the sins they were preaching against, on full and oblivious display within the last week, is so tiresome

#tumblr userbase realizes they are just as flawed as the media characters and authors they’re obsessed with when #better yourself #but damn better yourself before you go nosing into the business of others #lest you look like a silly silly goose #smartest thing ive done to date is start learning when to hold my tongue #obviously still largely an idiot #but every day prepared to learn a little more

oopsie whoopsie doopsie doop someone i foolishly did not expect to still be in my orbit after all this time has organically appeared on my dash and caused me 100000000000 psychic damage from the past lol BYE before i enter the absolute worst human headspace of all time weewoooweewoo

memewhore

homoidiotic

"The Identity Project" (2014 + 2024)

#oooooooo the way you can tell they grew into confidence #that’s reassuring and heartwarming

identitty-dickruption

me, as I’m rubbing my t gel into my leg: hmm. what if I was cis this whole time

the transsexual angel sitting on my shoulder: who fucking cares. you’re having a good time being on t. either take t as a tranny or take it as a cis dyke. who cares!

me: thanks transsexual angel. are you allowed to reclaim those slurs btw

identitty-dickruption

christ this post is becoming a free blocklist! <3 remember folks, you’re allowed to do whatever you want forever if it’ll make you happy! do a cost benefit analysis and make your decisions based on that, rather than arbitrary distinctions between cis and trans and whatever else. people transition for all kinds of reasons and that’s okay <3 you don’t even ever need to know why you want to transition <3 peace and love on planet transsexual

#legitimate advice #destroy the doubt of permission #does it make you objectively happier #does the idea of stopping make you objectively sadder #is it hurting literally anyone else #and by that i mean other than the grief of people who are upset that you are not coloring inside their lines #do whatever fam #that decision is between you and you #doesnt even need a label just do what you know you need to do for yourself

vonkarn

dads really be like don't be a faggot now here listen to Queen

#my father being like trannies are disgusting and so are crossdressers #anyway rocky horror picture show is a movie of all time you should watch it when you’re older

solitarelee

Just saw “ageless blogs will be blocked” and ascended, what the fuck is wrong with the current young generation lmao, (1) why are you so obsessed with making other ppl tell u identifying personal details abt themselves in public (2) people can lie about their age people can lie about their age people can lie about their age people can–

penis-peeper

someone using a basic functionality of this site is not secretly proof they’re a predator. touch grass

thedorkdionysia

you don’t have to be like “oh I’m exactly 16 years, 3 months, and 21 days old and my birthday is 6/9!” but like, most people will want you to at least specify if you’re over 18 or not for various reasons

solitarelee

Yall have the nerve to imply I’m terminally online when u can’t even understand the concept of “telling minors they have to publicly announce that they’re minors or else they’re suspect” is a bad thing to normalize. (I’m extremely not sure where the concept that I was calling literally anyone in this situation a predator came from. Yall for real cannot read.) People who want to lie about it simply will, whether they are minors who want to interact with adult content or adults who want to interact with minors. My point was that it accomplishes nothing but normalizing publicizing details (details that might make you a target) about yourself to kids who should be taught internet safety and not whatever this is.

I might want to know whether or not someone is a minor if I’m interacting with them personally (although even then it’s only relevant in a few extremely specific instances) but I don’t need access to that information for them to anonymously interact with my equally anonymous blog. It’d be fucking weird for me to ask, actually. I am also begging for people to comprehend the difference between choosing to put ur own details up online (between u and god fam) and pressuring other people to do so.

iamnmbr3

Also once again PEOPLE CAN LIE. Just because someone says they are a certain age doesn’t mean they are. A classic tactic of predators is to pretend to be a minor too. Do people not learn about this anymore???! People online can and do lie and it is dangerous to believe otherwise. Especially if you are a minor be very careful giving that information out and do not blindly trust that someone who says they are your age is telling the truth.

derinthescarletpescatarian

Pressuring someone to put personal details like their age out in public for everyone to see is far more threatening behaviour than choosing to keep such things to yourself. People choosing not to mention their age are being sensible – people leveraging social pressure to openly demand my age read as a predator. If I see something like “ageless blogs will be blocked”, I’m more likely to avoid you, because that’s behaviour I’m used to seeing from a predator.

#gone are the days where a/s/l reads like a red flag and you instantly block them huh #kids anonymity will protect you far better on the internet and in life than almost anything else #use some of that healthy distrust of strangers to think that some of your ’fellow teens’ are lying #i used to lie all the time because nobody wanted to play mmos with 12 year olds so i said i was 15 #and i met another ‘15’ year old who was someone who turned out to be 19 #you can say the 19 year old should have told the truth #the critical thinking kicks in when you ask why he didn’t

hawkeguard

i made this for fun where are you sitting

#OP THIS IS FUCKING HILARIOUS #picking thru my options going oh no #oh nooo #oh NO #oh nonono #anyway im seat 7 it would be awful in some ways but im a slut so id just sit there feverish the whole flight #seat 1 also tolerable #i love aveline but im not sitting between those two for a million dollar #dragon age

dragonagepolls

Who do you most hope Harding becomes involved with if unromanced?

Taash

Davrin

Bellara

Neve

Lucanis

Emmrich

Other (put in tags)

No one

Voting ended onJul 4, 2024

If you're hoping Harding becomes involved with multiple people, either vote for which one you want most or vote "Other" and put them all in the tags.

I put "if unromanced" for brevity's sake but this also counts if you hope the character is poly while in a romance with Rook.

#oh one brain cell i see lol #dragon age #good good

derharlekin-deactivated20220426

This is just as relevant for tumblr as for twitter, so I share it here. Fully agree

jackieokcorral-deactivated20220

Link to original thread (August 23, 2021)

freezerspace

The fact that this was a big fucking twitter thread was driving me nuts, so I unrolled it:

Keep reading

fozmeadows

god, THIS

homunculus-argument

The pros and cons of dating someone with an actual real family:

pros: besides a spouse you also get a real family, all in the same package.

cons: they go Jesse what the hell are you talking about when you mention some bleak shit from your childhood instead of going "yeah we've all been there" like your friends would.

#the one person who gets my childhood is my sister and we talk less than once a year at this point #we used to only have each other #which is kinda sad but anyway #i married someone with not only parents but also godparents and a large midwestern christian family #i went with them for the holidays #i found one dude who was also marrying into this enormous family and we found some temporary respite together #saw someone else’s tags and yeah i felt like a wild animal caught in a cage #the urge to flee was OVERPOWERING #waiting for someone to get drunk or start shouting or arguing or blaming me for something or general just unhappy chaos to erupt #i stayed in the kitchen once it was empty eating cheese and hiding #ive mentioned the level of toxicity and cold distance between myself and certain family members and i get these uncomfortable looks #i also (rightfully) snapped and shut one of partner’s family members out for researching me on the internet without permission #he seemed shocked at how instantly cold and angry i got and the fact that i refused to speak with him after #he gave me a lengthy and detailed apology after my partner intervened but talk about a total gulf of experiences #maybe this is acceptable and normal and cute where you’re from but im not fucking having it #ill say another con is having to participate in actual real traditions and having to face the MASSIVE spike of anxiety as a result #actual torture #i had to give and receive gifts and i did Not want to be there. fucking scary man #it was ultimately fine and maybe even healing but mostly i just stood in a corner watching them unconditionally love each other and feeling #sort of desolate and empty and full of cold wind

tubapun

what does 🙃 mean to you

I'm happy and goofy

I'm the maddest ive ever been

I'm so fucking sad

I'm putting on a brave face but it's hard

I'm so very confused

I'm horny beyond all belief

other answer, infinite nuance, I'm Bald (leave in tags)

Voting ended onJul 1, 2024

I'm never sure what the intended message is when i recieve it so I tried to put the most common emoji meanings I've heard

#emoji version of FUBAR #or bruh #its a punctuation to indicate an unsettling and intense emotion #but to adults it means happy silly whee rolling around!#incredible #i say as tho im not an adult but ykwim

fairycosmos

recognising your parent's mannerisms in yourself and physically feeling psychic damage occur

#i see it in the judgey facial expressions i make #and in my demurring comments #and my language choices #but thankfully i never see my father and im grateful for it

dreamduality

diamond-hoo-ha-man

i thought this was a hospital drama why does he have a shotgun?!??!?

ulysseus

It's a really, really good hospital drama

elkian

I'm so glad I turned on the Audio bc it turns out this is set to Boney M's Rasputin and is basically perfectly synced

singswan-springswan

you're worried about the shotgun and not the bazooka

#HI SORRY I GREW UP IN THE ERA OF YOUTUBE FANVIDS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE A LOST ART FORM BY THIS POINT BUT THIS IS AMAZINGLY CRAFTED #WELL DONE

punkitt-is-here

i find it really funny that im a girl now but whenever im into a guy i still think "fuuuuuuuuuck dude im fucking gayyyyyyyyyyyy" internally. like actually that's the completely expected response. not gay at all. or so i thought. as it turns out its still gay as fuck to be into dudes as a transgender woman

punkitt-is-here

some people on twitter are saying this is internalized transmisogyny and i assure you, its not, haha! i was a bisexual dude once, I'm a bisexual woman now. When i was a bisexual dude, I explored my sexuality with men. It felt like "gay" attraction. When i transitioned, that feeling never left! But I don't think it's bad that I kept that feeling; far from it! I'm glad that I still perceive my relationships with men in the same way I perceive relationships with women now. Just going off internal vibes, personally, I never felt like the trappings of the standard "straight" perception of attraction ever aligned with how I felt. I feel much, MUCH more comfortable with realizing that my attraction to others is queer to the core. Much love for the trans people out there who identify as straight in some way now, but I just find more comfort in referring to my attraction as gay now! nothing wrong with that, im just having fun :)

succubusboyfriend

i hope this is okay to add, but i’m a pansexual trans man and i feel very similarly about my attraction to women! i’ve joked with my friends before “i’m a man, except for the .5% of me that is a butch lesbian.”

i’m not sure how else to explain it, but when i experience attraction to a woman i just know it’s Inherently queer and that it’s coming from something feminine in myself? (not saying that’s the same for everyone who has feelings like this, just that’s how i understand it for myself!)

the fact that gender and sexuality intertwine in a lot of ways for a lot of people, and the way those connections affect the way we feel and express both of those facets of ourselves, is so fascinating to me!!

punkitt-is-here

totally okay to add!! im glad you did, its cool seeing other people relate so much to this post, haha. I think internally a lot of queer attraction just feels different from how straight attraction is pushed. I mean, look at how the straight male gaze tends to sexualize women compared to when lesbians talk about their attraction to women. It's got a very different vibe to it!

When I think about my attraction to men, it's not really in the way I think cis straight women do. I like them in the "gay" way, as in, my attraction to men heavily aligns with what the larger gay community sees male attraction as. I like twinks and bears and all the stuff a really gay dude would be into when it comes to men, and that feels more "me" than any sort of "straight" attraction. Straightness isn't actually defined this way, and this is by no means meant to be a broad, sweeping claim, but for me personally the way i feel love doesn't really mesh with my internal idea of being straight, even if my attraction is "expected". its cool! I like being queer! it makes my love all the stronger when it doesn't come with expectations I've been fighting against all my life.

wearetenderashell

Yooooo I’ve had these thoughts several times! (I also ID as pan/transmasc, but wishy washy inside) I never really stopped in at the “butch lesbian” station. I am one of the folk that people loved to insult as a “fag hag,” “just wanted to transition to play pretend as a gay man,” so it always makes my brain glitch when I see one of the smaller percentage of women I’m legitimately instinctually attracted to and go “oh im Gay-gay. Wowwwwwww.” And inb4 “something something subconsciously delegitimizing your gender,” I feel the exact same way about every man I’ve ever been attracted to, just minus the glitch of surprise and linguistic confusion. And I’m usually, it seems sometimes borderline exclusively, attracted to nonbinary folks. (Speaking from a somewhat demisexual hill, where instant physical attraction is rare for me in the first place.)

I had a cis bisexual friend who was my first exposure to bisexuality, but her bisexuality was very different from mine. Her celebrity crushes were all faces you might find on “People Magazine’s Hottest 50 Stars,” and I just didn’t get it, none of them inspired anything within me, so I spent a couple early years wondering if I was actually attracted to anyone at all, let alone and especially bisexuality. And then I saw 2011 Evan Rachel Wood with short hair, waistcoat, suspenders, and high heels and I was like ohhhhhhh, OHHHHHHHH. Several other revelations after that, with most of them featuring mainly masc women, femme men, and all the in between and other, lead slowly to a more clear view of things. And I will forever find masc gay men overall more attractive than masc straight men. The phenotypical gender is different, and the latter does nothing for me.

It’s hard to define it for myself exactly, but like I do not feel like a masc man when I have a crush on a woman (and I definitely don’t feel like a femme woman when I have a crush on a man). It’s some other queer category for sure. Explicitly without all the trappings of the expectations of heterosexuality, on much more level ground, seeing someone as a person first, with equivalent value and internal richness and independence, and anything else second, made more delicious with the cultures and celebrations of the queer community involved.

#i will say my one masc male crush exception is channing tatum as a result of one scene in 21 jump street #im not proud of it #it hit me like a freight train and im still processing it #who is that man and why is he living in my head #got past the immune system and now he’s just here in a dusty corner #anyway gender is fascinating and ive been rotating the concept of ‘there are as many genders as there are people’ in my head #because i get this sense that genders can be grouped outside of the male-female binary #like yes yes entry level commentary on the surface #but ive been thinking a lot about my early exposures to queer communities nearly 2 decades ago at this point #and i feel we’ve let it go by the wayside but ‘metrosexual’ used to be a big thing #and i would absolutely classify that as either a subgender of male or just its own gender entirely #the weirdos i hung out with in college were all kinds of male female and nonbinary #but you could SPOT one of those suckers from across an auditorium and know they were one of yours #weird nerd gender?#gender is such an odd abstract concept that can get really expansive and fun i think #melds well with what people have been calling ‘types’ from their personal perspective #groups that you ally yourself with by choice or by instinct or by culture #and the people who see that and find it compelling #anyway op sorry for rambling i found this post inspiring

I have realized a form of the “fox news effect” on here - in which people engage more with their emotions than their capacity for independent thinking and broader empathy - comes in the form of bitter people being bitter in a fresh way, so that people have found a new way to be bitter and/or feel ashamed as the subject of someone else’s bitterness

It also sometimes smacks of those people who were massive fucking jerks in early adolescence who had a massive following bc it created this love-vacuum, where the scarcity of love from a single person made several people feel special if they received any kindness from them at all, like it was more earned, rather than just from someone being needlessly tight-fisted with kindness

Like [annoyed post about vague and massive group of people] gets a few types of responses, among which are “so true…” and “you’re so right” and anyone disagreeing or pointing out flaws gets a snappish “then it wasn’t about you, fucking moron, stop complaining” (cue utter fucking meltdown from both sides with absolutely no attempts at deescalation, its always the other side’s responsibility to be more generous with their reading)

Sometimes it just strikes me like “gay people are ruining society. if you agree with this, then you’re one of the good ones. I of course have had nothing to do with ruining society” type discourse

Not to say people can’t rightfully complain about things that make them bitter, lord knows i do, but i think YES even in PRIVACY it helps to get specific about what exactly bothers you and extricate it from the larger group. It won’t get you a popular post, bc the former is the viral post version of astrology where people can read whatever they fucking like into it, but it does prevent you from sliding into the type of person i have to suffer from on the daily, where the truth is they hate [specific single person’s action they suffer from directly, and vague unfounded fear that has been instilled in them] and instead they blame immigrants and poor people bc that’s who they’ve been convinced are the perpetrators

#especially when the progenitor of such posts tries to separate themselves from a culture they are still VERY MUCH A PART OF #‘unlike this other large group of humans neither i nor the large group of humans i ally with have any human flaws’#el oh el #you silly bitch you’re annoying too #suffering as a result of the kind of annoying you are but from an external source doesn’t make you not annoying #maybe by understanding and embracing annoying behavior from larger groups will generate more genuine self love for you idk

catasters

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