Aces @wecantheartit - Tumblr Blog

Update from the man himself

The Porn Guy aka The Nice Guy aka The Canadian side of Pornhub aka SFW Pornhub’s REAL NAME is Ryan Creamer. No joke, that is legit his real name.

Also this.

Which led him to this.

Bless this man.

the-nightman783

lynati

I can appreciate him and the service he’s providing independently of the shitshow that is the platform he’s hosted on.

henlolizer

paperfury-deactivated20260224

Girls don’t want boys. Girls want to glide down ladders in their own private library while their red cloak flutters behind them, owning swords and many chocolates, with fast WiFi at all times.

thefatfuck-irl

why do i keep seeing “jokes” like “lol if you’re ‘touch starved’ you’re just horny lmao”

like

it’s not a sexual thing and is actually pretty important since humans are social creatures

“Human touch has been proven to be vital to emotional, psychological, and physical growth in infants and to some extent in older children and adults.”

“Skin hunger is your body’s reaction to lack of physical touch and it affects an increasing number of Americans while being a non existent phenomenon in more touch-happy countries like France. The problem that we’re learning is that without skin-to-skin touch (might we add that it doesn’t have to be sexual), your body doesn’t produce the hormone oxytocin. Without that natural chemical, adults are more susceptible to depression and infants can have developmental problems or even die.”

“Hugs have also been shown to increase the production of oxytocin in humans; this is the hormone that positively influences our bonding and nurturing behaviors.”

hello???????????

bipolar-bubbeleh

Uh

dynamite5ftjewishbitch

One of my clinical instructors told me that most people need seventeen touches a day to feel nurtured.

austerejester

Does it have to be human touch or is this why I subject my poor dog to being picked up and cuddled at random throughout the day? Because Its been 84 years since I physically touched another living human with my skin

actuallyfuckamatonormativity

Pets count!

sheepgirlwizard-deactivated2025

humans are social creatures who bond well with other social creatures so ya pets count

wewerealltoblame

did you know that Friday 13th was meant to be a really good lucky day meant for fucking because it was dedicated to Freyja, the goddess of love and fertility and the patron goddess of Fridays

but then Christianity found out about it and were like “Fucking???? outside of marriage????? NO NO NO!!!” and decided it was a horrible terrible bad unlucky day and you need to be super careful of everything you do in case you die or some shit.

so thanks Christians for ruining everyone’s fucking fun

greatlordfluffernutter

Petition to bring back Friday the FUCKteenth.

goodgamegrumps

iris-in-the-dark-world

ogoobness

mars-the-4th-planet

Ur telling me I can be lewd and reject superstition at the same time??

missjukebox8bit

heed the wise words of Ninja Sex Party

feministism

tsuki-chibi

Now that I’m older, I’m working on unapologetically loving all of the above.

spacehunter-m

fred likes to say tréasure

sirobvious

Did a nuclear fucking bomb go off in that second one

hotcommunist-deactivated2019032

this is the funniest shit I have ever seen in my life….catholics are out here memeing better than I ever could

komaedalovemail

Perhaps i will drink my sorrows away.. *opens up capri sun*

theinturnetexplorer

good for him.

formalized

*throws a chicken nugget at your window* why don’t you like me

mikewazowskisbuttblog

*opens window* can u throw another

furbearingbrick

pictured: me

bnq

don’t forget the chaser:

fuckyeahmarxismleninism

papprekakinga-deactivated202407

Always reblog

writerlywriting-deactivated2019

As a former zookeeper we would hear this a lot. “If you don’t study hard you’ll end up cleaning poop for a living.” It’s the one time we’re allowed to go off on the visitors. I once heard my boss rant for five minutes at a lady, in front of her kids, about how he had a Master’s degree, how people literally worked there for free, and how dare she judge people without bothering to know anything about them. Later that day his boss came by and said, roughly, “She told us what happened. Thanks for not throwing anything this time.”

setheverman

if your child asks you where babies come from, please don’t tell a lie or make up a story, just tell them the truth about the giant claw machine and the