Cassie's Conundrums

Cassie. They/she pronouns. There is no theme here. My current special interest is D&D but I reblog everything from personal shit to beautiful women to frostiron fics 🤷 If you figure it out let me know cause I haven’t 😂

[woolandflax]

Ha I wonder how many strokes the most complex Chinese character has like maybe eightee-

[woolandflax]

Has a Chinese son, names him bèng-dá, and he hates me

[woolandflax]

My beloved son 䨻龘 just trying to write his name in kindergarten

[inthefallofasparrow]

[sol1loqu1st]

did you know that you can increase the quality of your quesadilla by adding seasoning

[sol1loqu1st]

did you know that you can decrease the quality of your quesadilla by making a tumblr post while it's cooking and burning it

[junktastic]

[spicymancer]

Yeah okay.

[chromaticabrasions]

do you guys promise you will keep blogging with me about vampires forever ?

[wizardarchetypes]

i would but sadly i'm a human with a mortal life. if only there were a way for me to stay by your side, blogging forever...............

[chromaticabrasions]

haha yeah that’d be cool……. unrelated but can you come a little closer with your neck exposed

[wizardarchetypes]

okay <3

yay <3

[copperbadge]

On Saturday I said to my partner, as I have said for months, "A ten thousand dollar a year raise would solve so many of my problems."

As of this morning I was reluctantly looking for jobs because I love my job and don't want to leave it, but see: $10k raise problem solver.

As of noon today this was no longer an issue, because my boss called me with the news that I was getting a $10K merit raise.

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. This is roughly $200 extra per paycheck. Enough to pay off debt faster, rebuild my savings, and spend a weekend a month in Milwaukee getting obscenely laid. The sex I'm going to have on $200 extra per paycheck. You can't even.

May all of you get the $10K raise your soul has yearned for. And whatever level of sex you can be satisfied with for $200.

[vergess]

hey bestie i think ur post might be charmed 'cause you aren't gonna fuckin believe what happened today

[e-rose]

[jarfieid]

I had to take a piss test for a job I got hired at today, and this is the name of the fuckin company that makes the tests

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

[stjohnstarling]

No more apologizing for being horny on main. No more horny jail. We’re horny prison abolitionists. No gods, no masters! Wait. Okay maybe a few masters. Alright but no bars will hold us! No whips and chains will — fuck, hang on, let me start again.

[whynotfangirl]

I use tumblr almost exclusively on my phone, but why would I ever send someone anything from tumblr via text? And why is that the first option. And ridiculously easy to accidentally do.

I text 4 people:

My Opa, my mother in law, my hairdresser and my cleaner.

I don’t want to accidentally send thirsty lesbian gifs to my hairdresser. Please tumblr mobile 😬

[hymnsofheresy]

i was with my mother’s family and they were talking to me about my religious studies major. my great aunt asked me what the definition of hell was, and i responded “well i suppose it depends on who you ask.” and nearly all the protestants in the group decided that hell was “the absence of god” which i suppose is a fair answer, albeit not a universal one. my cousin’s wife was playing with her 3-year-old daughter and she says “well mommy says that hell is a mcdonald’s playplace” asdfghjhgfd

[hymnsofheresy]

this 3-year-old girl is so fucking hilarious. her mothers have signed her up for a toddler yoga class, and so she has adopted a very unique language. this child also has an imaginary friend named “mom” which is, in her mind, the boss of her two mothers. for example, my cousin’s wife explained to me how her daughter got mad at them one time. the little girl situated herself in the corner of her crib, pretended to type on a cell phone and said  “im writing an email to mom right now and telling her how bad you two are. namaste.”

[hymnsofheresy]

the family’s Big Theory about “Mom” is that both my cousin and her wife are referred to as “Mommy” and “Mama.” The nickname “Mom” is not used in the house because it would just be confusing. However, when interacting with the world, people tell their daughter that they will “tell her mom” if she is doing something wrong. so this child automatically assumes there is this greater “Mom” figure that is responsible for distributing universal justice. 

[alexaloraetheris]

To be fair to the toddler, that’s pretty much how religions get started.

[dantescandlestick]

Our Mom, who art gonna hear about this,

[agent-mcsweetheart]

i saw a post earlier today and now i can’t find it but someone was like the only reason i get through studying is by saying “let’s go steal a grade” where they just imagine they’re doing research for a leverage con and they have to know all the information to pull it off successfully. I’m at my internship rn and i found the original score for the og show and redemption and let me tell you i have never been more productive

[agent-mcsweetheart]

@imaginable-horror you are an inspiration 😌🫡

[onyxbird]

Replace imposter syndrome with the conman method! You're a fraud, and you're such a competent fraud that the mark is never going to realize what hit them until the gloat.

[penny-anna]

I think if the first doctor, given an opportunity to pick out a pronoun pin, would stand there for ages thinking about it REALLY hard. & Then carefully select he/him.

[esamastation]

What is your newest fandom?

And I don't mean “I only just got into this 30 year old thing!” or "Well, the spin-of of this 20+ year old franchise is really good." No, I mean what is the most recently made thing you've gotten into.

[thesevenumbrellas]

Tumblr gifmakers are better than $1mil worth of marketing. I’ll see endless ads for a show and be like meh but I’ll see one good gifset and suddenly I’m on s2 ep10 finding blorbo from my gifs

[sunsetbuddie]

hey so anyone else just, feel thin. sort of stretched. like butter scraped over too much bread. like you need a holiday. a very long holiday. and you don't expect you shall return? or is that just me and bilbo baggins

[mariopowertennis]

YOU HAVE ENTERED

RADICAL SATURDAY

[cynical-werewolf]

Today’s Friday, though.

[sketchlock]

[lenaskzorel]

some on stage shenanigans 🤭😏