WillowTheChillow

If something I post or reblog is offensive lemme know and I’ll take it down. Also I like reblog horror and stuff so if you feel anxious with that kind of thing this is just a heads up

[willowisbunger]

God Im Sorry (A tapeworm clef fanfic)

Before we begin. This is all for jokes. I am so sorry for anyone who has to read this. Its also just a draft and will be complete at some point. For now enjoy what little I give you.

You find yourself resting on the couch of your dearly beloveds bed quarters. You scroll through your phone looking fondly at old text messages of when you and your husband to be's first text messages. All the ridiculous nicknames you two exchanged, all the flirting, photos, and various other things you two have sent to each other over the years. You couldn't help but giggle. You find it hard to believe this all started cause you decided to help some weird blonde guy with a ukulele out with his broken leg.

You two have been dating for almost 8 years and two months ago, the man, Dr. Alto Clef. He took you on a date. Just a nice simple stroll around the woods, which ended in a nice picnic by a river. In which you saw the man you have fallen head over heels for, get down on one knee and began plucking at the strings of his ukulele. Singing a sweet melody like a song bird in the spring, before pulling out a wedding ring and asking those simple words of "will you marry me". Your heart flutters with glee as you chuckle. You feel giddy and so over joyed with happiness. Right as your giggle fit calmed down you heard the front door open, and there stood your beloved. With a wide grin on his face as he held some folders in his hands. He had a doctors appointment that day since he had been feeling strange. With his face showing his usual bright beaming smile and his three beautiful eyes showing their usual mischievous gleam, it was clear that he was in more than perfect shape.

"Heya there pumpkin. I'm home. And I've got some great news." He spoke in a raspy slightly southern voice. At first it was grating on ya, but now its like all your favorite songs combine into one incredible tune. "Welcome home sweetheart!" You chirped as you ran up to your beloved teddy bear to give him a quick peck to the lips as you hugged him close, "What's the good news teddy? I can tell from that big dumb grin of yours ya got somethin real good to tell me. What did the doctor say?" You said as you affectionately pinched his cheeks causing him to laugh as he took both your hands to hold. "Well besides me being fit as a bull. Looks like I'm gonna be eating for two from now on."

You blinked and tilted your head in confusion, slowly processing the information as you stepped back a lil. "How? Babe I never top and we always use protection. Who-" "Oh no pumpkin. I ain't pregnant" He interrupted, chuckling as he ruffled your hair. "I got a tape worm. The doc took some sonograms of my stomach to see if there were any issues and yeah, there's a lil fella in there. Look." The blonde handed you the folder, which you opened and began reading through and your face turned pale at the sight of the tape worm in the photo of an ultra sound. You gagged a lil as you shoved the folder back into clefs arm. "Babe that's not okay!!!! That's a parasite!!!! Its gonna just keep reproducing and shit and its gonna fuck up your insides." You said quite loudly, usually you were quiet but this, this was making you quite distressed. Your fiancés face turned from a smile to a disappointed frown "I thought you would've liked clef junior....".

You stood baffled at the situation before you. Your dearly beloved, just, accepting and seeming to be happy about the fact he has a god damn TAPE WORM living inside of him. You've seen some shit in your days working for the foundation. A sheet of music that makes people go bonkers and try to bleed, Kondraki -clefs ex- ridding on god damn 682, and other shit that would boggle anyone's mind. But this. THIS RIGHT HERE. Just.... Leaves you speechless. "Pumpkin?" the third eyed man spoke in a concerned tone, which rarely came from him. "Are you okay?" You held your head in your hands as you sat back down on the plush couch and just took a deep breathe, and just as quickly as you sat down you sprung back up, grabbing your jacket and zipping it up. "Babe.... I just.... I need a moment.... I'll be out for awhile.... This is just, strange even for you and I need a moment to think about this." You sped walk past your -potentially ex- husband to be to the door. You shut the door, seeing Clef's face look uncharacteristically sad at you. It hurt you a little to leave your teddy bear like that, but you still needed time to just, think and process this whole situation.

You leave the housing area for researchers and quickly the site as well. You hail a cab and as soon as you enter the bright yellow vehicle you tell the faceless driver to "Take me to the nearest motel." Which he happily complied especially with the hefty tip you gave him. You just, Needed awhile to think and god knows how long that could be so you may as well rent out a room away from that hell site foundation to have a clear mind. After all who knows what might happen. Fucking Dr. Bright could tell you to give it a chance and raise the worm together with your teddy bear or some shit. You never know with this job and the people you worked with. While in your thoughts you rented out a room, room 105. Great another reminder of your hell job, even though it was just the simple numbers of 0 and 5 you can't help but be reminded of your faceless higher ups and the fact you work for them.

You found your room and quickly made your way inside to flop down on the bed, beforehand making sure to put up the "Do not disturb" sign and locking it. You burried your face into the hard cheap pillows of this motel, missing the one you had back at your place with its soft textures and the scent of your beloved.... Which once again brought you back to the worm. That fucking worm. Why the hell was your husband so keen on keeping it? He's at least some form of scientist he should know that tape worms are a dangerous parasite that affect your health. You stare up at the popcorn ceiling just, trying to wrap your head around WHY. Why would your partner; your future husband; the one who knows everything about you and you know everything about them.... just why are they keeping the tape worm?

You of course knew the stuff your teddy was known for, sleeping with that statue after a date, killing a dangerous reality bending child, father to 166 (who you were honestly happy to take in as your new step daughter). Out of everything. The tape worm makes you break. Makes you rethink your relationship with the man you've been dating for years at this point. All you can do at this moment is sigh, hearing the phone in your coat pocket buzz. You pull it out and set it to "do not disturb" as you set the device aside on a night stand. "Maybe I should sleep it off. Maybe I'll have a clearer mind then...." You say to yourself as you threw your coat off and roll onto your side. Feeling uncomfortable in your current clothes but you didn't pack a bag so, you just ignore the discomfort until eventually.... You drift off to sleep. The shallow hum of power surging through the building and the busy city outside envelop you as you feel unconsciousness take over.

While in your state of unconsciousness you hear a silky smooth, deep yet gentle voice speak to  you. "Y/N... Y/N its time to wake up Y/N". You slowly awoke, opening your groggy eyes, what laid before you, you didn't know. They had a handsome chiseled face, comparable to the statues found in ancient Greece with even a similar tone of white marble. They had thick luxurious hair that went down to their waste, rippling muscles that went down both torso and back.... They were ungodly white though. And didn't have legs. You stared at the bottom half and slowly processed what you were looking at..... A fucking tapeworm man. A fucking humanoid tape worm what the fuck. "Im going back to bed" You said as you laid on your side, and tried to ignore the hallucination.

The tapeworm creature, slid over you just to get to the side you were facing. You shivered feeling it’s disgusting body wiggle about. You close your eyes tightly as you did your best to ignore it. You could feel yourself holding back even more shivers as you felt their cold hands touch your face. “Y/n…. Look at me…. I just want to talk.” “And I just want to be left alone and not think about tapeworm men trying to seduce me while I’m contemplating breaking up my engagement.”

[catchymemes]

Anti wolf heck collar

“The purpose of the collar is to protect the dog wearing it when it has to fight the wolves. The collar base protects the dog’s throat and carotid arteries, while the spikes are intended to deter bites to the neck or even injure wolves trying to do so.”

[heatandapathy]

“And what do you get from serving humans that you do not get from running free?” sneered the wolf.

“Free food, unconditional love and tactical upgrades,” replied the herding dog.

[castle-engineer-deactivated2019]

I see your anti-wolf dogs and raise you Spanish War Dogs.

[icarus-in-fl1ght-deactivated202]

I see your Spanish war dogs and raise you the Tibetan Mastiff, which was actually bred to fight tigers and has fur so thick that it doesn’t need armor

They’re also what I like to describe as ‘fuck you’ big

[fairygothprince]

you want a fuck you dog ok i see your tibetan mastiffs, and raise you the caucasian shepherd dog 

they were bred to hunt bears, and they are fuck you dogs.

[littlecofiegirl]

All I see are Good Pupps. 

[chaosroid]

All I see are Fereldans trying to one up each other on their knowledge of dog breeds

[peashooter85]

A dog named Beanie wearing an anti-coyote vest

https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2018/12/beanie-the-dog-coyote-vest/577540/

[metalcatholic-deactivated202202]

^ If you live in an area with coyotes I actually recomend those

[recoil-operated-deactivated2021]

Reblog to make your puppets heckin punk AF

[brainfuzz]

And then there’s this guy

[chaosandcuccos-deactivated20250]

The above cat is @cat-cosplay

Please give credit!

[cat-cosplay]

We’ve done functional armor too.

[loversdreamersandyou]

[jupitersmusings]

good things will happen 🧿

things that are meant to be will fall into place 🧿

[overlord-fire-bubble]

THIS ONE FUCKING WORKS. REBLOG IT.

[tiny-kt]

this for real fucking works

[sidewayspeace444]

🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼🤞🏼

[goddamnshinyrock]

people who conflate “domestic” and “tame” legitimately horrify me

[goddamnshinyrock]

#for some reason people who conflate ‘wild’ and ‘feral’ are usually innocently mistaken #but people who conflate ‘domestic’ and ‘tame’ are about to cause- or are currently causing- serious harm to one or more animals

[naomiknight-17]

Forgive me, but I don’t understand - can someone explain the difference and why not knowing it is dangerous?

[goddamnshinyrock]

So “domestic” means an animal that has been selectively bred over generations to have characteristics useful to humans, such as reduced flight distance, increased milk/wool/meat production, trainability, lower prey drive, attractive coloring, etc. These are livestock or pets, most of which have been domesticated by humans for millennia, and while they can still interbreed with their wild ancestors, are genetically altered enough to be distinguished from them by a variety of traits. Dogs, cats, cattle, llamas, horses, sheep, goats, pigs, yaks, ducks, geese, chickens: all domestic! You can also have semi-domesticated animals, where the semi-domesticated population has been more lightly managed by humans over time, still sometimes interbreeding with wild populations, and not intensively selectively bred, such as the semi-domesticated reindeer herded by various Arctic peoples. It’s kind of a continuum!

“Tame,” however means an individual animal that has been accustomed to human presence and tolerates contact with people, generally by being in close proximity to humans from birth. Most domestic animals are also tame, because ‘can deal with being near humans’ is a pretty important feature to build in when you’re designing your livestock, but it’s not automatic- even many domestic animals need human interaction from an early age to be able to be calm around humans later. On the positive side of things, tame wild animals can be ambassador animals at zoos and wildlife centers that can interact with handlers and help educate visitors without getting stressed, because they don’t fear humans. On the negative side of things, wild animals can become accidentally tamed (“habituated”) by being rewarded with food for approaching humans and our dwellings, and unlike domestic animals, wild animals haven’t had thousands of years of being bred to be easy for us to get along with, so when this happens you get human-animal conflicts, and that’s always bad news for the animal.

If it’s not already obvious from the above, the reason getting these things confused is dangerous is that people see “tame” wild animals interacting with humans in viral internet videos and go “oh, so cute! I want one!” and then they either go purchase an exotic pet they are entirely unprepared to care for or go out and try to interact with (BAD) or kidnap (WORSE) animals they find in the wild. The animals are always the losers in this situation, and it starts with thinking a tame fox is basically the same as a domestic dog, and can be treated the same way. Tame wild animals might be okay with taking food from your hand on a good day, but that doesn’t mean they’re suitable pets- cuddly-looking animals will wreck your home, smell like musk, be difficult or impossible to housebreak, become aggressive when frightened, and, once tamed, be unable to survive in the wild. A lot of wildlife centers have permanent collections of surrendered pets living out their lives there, because some asshat who decided they were too cool for house cats and what they really wanted was a pet bobcat was met with reality. Even if the animal doesn’t end up in someone’s house, it’s still bad news. If you’ve ever been to a park that gets a lot of tourist traffic, you might find wildlife that has lost its fear of people thanks to all the free handouts, which leads to more people trying to feeding the “tame” “friendly” animals, which leads to pushier animals, and that leads to attacks and wildlife being put down for the sake of public safety.

And people just kidnapping their own local wildlife is the less globally harmful side of things- international wildlife trafficking for the pet trade is a huge problem; it’s is too big an issue to get into here (I’d recommend the book Poached by journalist Rachel Love Nuwer), but it all comes back to not knowing- or caring about- the difference between domestic and tame.

(The other, less concerning to confuse terms I mentioned in those tags: wild is a non-domesticated animal and feral is a domesticated animal that was born outside of captivity and lives like a wild animal (eg feral cat colonies, most pigeons, mustang horses).)

[when-it-rains-it-snows]

It cannot be overstated just how *deep* domesticated vs. wild goes, either. You can catch a mustang - feral, but still the descendant of domesticated horses - full grown adult, take it off the range in Wyoming, and with care and a little patience it can be gentled into a pet that’s no more or less inherently dangerous than a horse that’s so pampered it’s never been rained on. Even a feral horse is still a domesticated animal.

On the other hand, you can breed a zorse - half horse half zebra - handle it from birth, do everything absolutely right, and still one day find that it has gotten into an argument with one of your other horses and attempted to, or managed, to kill it. Even a tamed from birth HALF zebra is still a wild animal and the instincts of wildness cannot be erased by taming, it may eat out of your hand, but if you’re smart you will never, ever trust it. (I’ve seen incredibly experienced horse people say that if you’re truly smart, you would never own a zorse, period.)

The point here is that tamed, no matter how thoroughly, is NEVER a substitute for domesticated. There’s a reason why Fiona the hippo, for all the cuddling she got when she was a premature infant struggling to survive, now only interacts with her handlers on the other side of some truly massive bars - no amount of care and love will make her into a chocolate lab. She’s a hippo, and adult hippos are a highly damned dangerous creature.

[guerrillatech]

[girlballs]

wake up babe, evil Brady Bunch just dropped

[lindleland]

[oldmanfuckerbrigade]

Auditory Processing Disorder shite cuz people don’t talk about it enough rip

* Getting frustrating when people don’t warn me before they talk so I can “turn on” my hearing. 

* Needing subtitles on movies and tv shows, not because I can’t hear it but because I can’t understand what they’re saying

* Hearing in perfect clarity what the teacher next door is saying and not a thing of what the kid I’m talking with is saying.

* Losing all concept of how to decipher language when more than one sound is playing

* Feeling like a dick for asking people with accents to repeat themselves so much (guys pls i swear im not racist i just have a hard time with speech guys pls-)

* Looking at people’s mouths when they talk, not because I can read lips or anything but because it just helps me figure out what someone is probably saying.

i hope this makes some modicum of sense kalsjdfakojwhepo

[foone]

That first one times a thousand. If you go “hey foone, *slight pause*, do you know where the screwdriver is?” I’ll go “in the drawer!”, no problem.

If you instead walk in and go “where is the screwdriver?” I am lucky if I can catch the “screwdriver”. I just get “murble mumble bleegg dfor-driver?”

And then I go “what?” and 9 times out of 10 people must say “the screwdriver!” YEAH NO THAT PART I KINDA GOT, I NEED THE BEGINNING PART AGAIN

[pullstart-ripcord]

This is his year.

[youaremyeverlovin]

[the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99]

[onetigeraday]

12/1/2022

[willowisbunger]

OGH WONDERFUL

[tikkety-tok]

those bonding hormones are strong

[anarchocunt]

[thegreatfluffmuffin]

@is-the-cat-video-cute @is-the-rabbit-media-cute

[is-the-rabbit-media-cute]

So, uh... That is a... Wild rabbit. It doesn't look dead, luckily! It's moving it's head, so it's at least alive. I'm sure any adult would be able to tell a dead rabbit from a living one.

But, uh, yeah, that's probably something the cat hunted for the kittens. & cats are... Well, they're cruel & don't always immediately kill their prey. A wild rabbit has far better survival instincts than a domesticated rabbit & would absolutely not get near a cat for any reason.

I can only hope the OP had enough sense of mind to release the rabbit back into the wild & to keep her cat indoors from now on.

[campyvillain]

anyways since i’ve not heard anyone talk about it here. cryptobros are literally planning to make an island filled with cryptobros with crypto themed living shit like unironically they are serious about it and they have recently made an animated video promoting it and i swear to god i did not dub any of this footage this is real they actually made this

[pissvortex]

Uh Oh!

[fantasymatrix-deactivated201810]

[theixwyn]

I know this is supposed to be a man and a woman looking at each other but all I saw was a transgendered man dreaming of being a Knight.

[grifalinas]

Are. Are you sure that’s not what it is? Because. That is absolutely how I saw it and I literally cannot see it any other way.

[everythingcanadian-archive]

Yeah, nope that is the first thing I thought of too. He wants to be the knight in shining armor. or even Genderfluid bae as their own princess and knight

[readingrenditions]

Same hair color, same eyes, same deep crimson color on the clothing, even the same flaring of the cuffs on the sleeves

I can’t tell if it’s water or crystal, but both are given the mystical properties of (self-)reflection and revealing the truth

If it was meant to be romantic between a guy and gal, their hands wouldn’t be touching at the fingertips like that. There’d be a fuller contact (i.e. palm to palm), or they’d be reaching out to each other but not quite making contact (to symbolize the divide that still separated them)

Definitely a trans knight

[corvidconjurer]

http://legendofthecryptids.wikia.com/wiki/Twofold_Xerete

Okay but like, literally that’s what it is

[lockeyseven-deactivated20180205]

*SLAMS THE REBLOG BUTTON*

<3

[grootpoepjeplasjehoofd]

[is-the-parrot-video-cute]

There is definitely someone manipulating the bird, and while I would not recommend doing this, the bird looks fine to me, it doesn’t seem alarmed or upset, and even seems to be relaxed, as evidenced by the fluffing of the feathers around the beak.

On the other hand, while the bird does not seem to be bothered by being manipulated, I think this cockatoo has or has previously had beak and feather disease. A very mild case probably, considering how bad it can be for cockatoos, but the shiny black beak and dirty looking feathers would lead me to believe this is the case, as there seems to be a lack of feather dust.

[peenalize]

hi quickly making a reminder of things that should be tagged as unreality:

anything paranoia inuducing (ex. "im in your walls" "they're coming" "would you notice if [insert cryptic shit]")

posts of "future events" (predictions are okay but should be tagged if asked)

the supernatural (talk of demons and ghosts)

those posts that go around on new years celebrating years other than the current year(s)

posts that jokingly gaslight the viewer/reader

similarly, posts that claim an event didn't occur

standard unreality (ex. "you aren't real" "you're dreaming")

"posts from a darker timeline"/posts that claim something false has happened

neural blenders

there's definitely a lot more that i dont remember !!!!! please feel free to add on !!

[peenalize]

not just new years posts on the year posts !!!!! literally any post that claims to be a year it isn't or wasn't made in needs to be tagged.

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[jennilah]

I think a lot about how Wilbur apparently calls out a code red when you’re passed out at a mystery island

[everythingfox]

Guinea pig bridge song (🔊)

(Source)

[willowisbunger]

As soon as I heard the first lyric i screamed out “PARRY GRIPP” space unicorn was my childhood and this guys songs are iconic