Peperoni Secrets @wire-goddess - Tumblr Blog

sirartwork

Accidentally flash-banged myself talking to a coworker today.

pocketss

ouuh brother

Everytime I watch a mission impossible I'm struck by how much the core thesis is this

girlnumbers

aauuauauuuhahauaauhahHh euehhgah gweyeyhhhhhahhh nnnhnmnggjannm

re-homophobic

I'm not british but "daft cunt" is such a funny insult but I couldn't say it without sounding like one myself

killfridge

It's a shame they aren't making music anymore

lustcannibalism

the desire to engage in my hobbies leaving my body as soon as I have the day off even though I was looking forward to it all week

dogpuppy

bobacupcake

playing erdtree with my pal we get invaded by someone named "Drip Inspector" and im like "waitwaitwait. ok lets just pose leaning back to back and wait for them to show up maybe our outfits will be so good they wont kill us"

so we wait until they show up and then they get reaaaal close to us . and then pull out their telescope and start circling around us and zooming in for a good 30 seconds. then they clap, use the "wonderful" and "youre beautiful" prattling pates, and jump off a cliff. invader vanquished

Chen Chi-kwan (陳其寬)

Calling that whole entire fucking Jamón Ibérico leg that goes for, according to the Costco website, $650 just "Costco ham" is the funniest thing I've ever fucking seen. They teach entire classes just on how to cut and serve one of these things correctly. It's some of the most expensive, top tier cured meat in the entire goddamn world, and if this is from Costco then it's also black label jamón ibérico de bellota which is the highest grade version. It can only be made in Spain or Portugal out of specific breed of pig(and for black label it has to be 100% purebreed, too) that is raised free-range and, during the last part of it's life, fed a diet exclusively of acorns. This is like calling a good cut of wagyu beef you got at the supermarket "Safeway steak" like. You're not WRONG but also HUH?????

catastrophic-crow

so what you're saying is that the cat was completely justified

byjove

I kind of love when it snows in the south and social media is flooded with people describing how they slipped and ate shit on icy driveways because we have no idea how to behave in these conditions.

spade-deck

They're out of their natural habitat 😔

byjove

The doorbell footage of people attempting to leave for work, slipping down the icy porch stairs and immediately going back inside is always sooooooo funny. It snows twice a year. Why would we invest in ice cleats and de-icing accessories? Fuck it, just going to stay home.