good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........
Panties hit the FLOOR
you know it sister
trying on a metaphor
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noise dept.
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Cosmic Funnies
Monterey Bay Aquarium
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

roma★
cherry valley forever
RMH

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@wizzardlizzard
good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........
Panties hit the FLOOR
you know it sister
This would have had me crucified on tumblr 10 years ago but maybe we are ready for this conversation now:
If you are a socially anxious person, you have to socialize. Your panic/anxiety attacks will only get worse and trigger more frequently if you constantly avoid contact with The Public. Not saying that you need to be a social butterfly- but there is a genuine problem with not being able to order your own meal at a restaurant. And it cannot be solved by always having someone else do it for you.
This is a PSA to about 3/4s of the Portland Youth populace
everyone who reblogs this and is like "I ordered my own tea this week" or "I only barfed once when I had to give a presentation'- you are doing amazing sweetie. Have patience with yourself, you are relearning a skill so difficult that people get 4 year degrees to do it professionally.
me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.
me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people
that’s just my nightstand knife don’t worry
im fucking crying
teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
"I really tried to be, you know, not a cliche of a world leading woman that we all see, that you have to be harder than the others and tougher, and then you have to look a certain way. There are so many wrong things going on thinking about these women. So that was the first thing. And I think she really believes that the world is worth saving and that we can actually do it if we make an effort." - Sandra Hüller
genuinely wild to me when I go to someone's house and we watch TV or listen to music or something and there are ads. I haven't seen an ad in my home since 2005. what do you mean you haven't set up multiple layers of digital infrastructure to banish corporate messaging to oblivion before it manifests? listen, this is important. this is the 21st century version of carving sigils on the wall to deny entry to demons or wearing bells to ward off the Unseelie. come on give me your router admin password and I'll show you how to cast a protective spell of Get Thee Tae Fuck, Capital
Share the knowledge
Okay, here we go! I'm gonna try and put this in order from least to most technical knowledge required. I'm not responsible if you accidentally create SkyNet etc.
Level 1: browser extensions
This one is basically impossible to get wrong, or at least to get wrong badly enough that it causes any problems.
Get Firefox, or a Firefox fork like Waterfox. If you use a fork, make sure it's one that will let you use add-ons. On a PC, pretty much any Firefox fork will take add-ons, but on mobile devices, many don't. Iceraven is one that does.
Get the add-ons uBlock Origin, YouTube Sponsorblock (if you use YouTube), and FBCleaner (if you use Facebook).
uBlock Origin comes with a built-in list of filters to block ads and trackers, but you can add your own filters to block any specific element of a website you don't like. You know those goddamn floating frames on fandom.com sites that block half the screen? Now you can zap 'em.
Sponsorblock uses crowdsourced timestamps to automatically skip sponsor spots and self-promotion in YouTube videos. Never listen to anyone say "hit like and subscribe" or "Raid Shadow Legends" again.
FBCleaner hides all content from your feed except posts from people, groups, and pages you've actually chosen to follow.
Level 2: leaving enshittified services
The software that's become standard over the years in a lot of fields is steadily selling more of your data, showing you more ads, and pushing you to buy more expensive subscriptions. Time to tell them to get fucked.
Dump Adobe apps for Affinity or Krita. Drop Microsoft for LibreOffice. Change your default search engine from Google to DuckDuckGo or Qwant. Use OpenStreetMaps instead of Google or Apple Maps.
Level 3: network-level DNS fuckery
DNS, or Domain Name Service, is the thing that tells your computer where www.website.com is actually located. By hacking your network's DNS you can force it to tell your devices that ad-hosting domains don't exist at all. Some of the steps on this one can get pretty technical, but because you're doing all the difficult stuff on a dedicated device, you can't really fuck up anything that seriously.
Get yourself a Raspberry Pi (a cheap older one like a model 3B will work just fine for this purpose), and follow a guide like this one to get it set up running AdGuard Home. AdGuard, like uBlock, has built-in filter lists, but you can also add your own if there are specific domains you want to block.
Once it's up and running, you'll need to change the DNS settings on your router to point to your AdGuard service. This is different for every router but will always start with logging into the admin panel with a password printed on a little sticker somewhere on the router.
With that done, every time a device on your home network looks for ads.website.com, it'll get back a message that says "sorry, can't find it", so it won't be able to load any ads.
Level 4: Android-specific DNS fuckery
Because AdGuard runs on your home network, it can't block ads on your phone when you're away from home - and what's worse, your phone will sometimes remember the addresses it got when you were out and about, and ads will get past your AdGuard wall even when you're home.
To avoid this, get AdAway for DNS-based ad-blocking directly on your phone. The easy, but less seamless, way of using AdAway is the "local VPN mode", which doesn't require you to do any mucking about with your phone's operating system.
Level 5: automated media piracy
The best way to stop seeing ads on all your streaming services is to stop using streaming services. There are loads of ways to do this, but the best ones involve setting up what's called an "arr stack" (Google that for setup guides) along with nzbget and a usenet account. Most of the time you'll want to set this stuff up on a dedicated device - an old laptop gathering dust in the closet is a great option, or you can grab something used from a charity shop or a local electronics recycler.
The great thing about usenet is that unlike with torrents, you don't have to do any sharing from your computer, so you're in a lot less legal jeopardy - legally speaking, distributing pirated content is waaayyy more serious than accessing it. I pay about £3 a month for a secure, high-bandwidth usenet service.
Once you start getting your own collection of media on your own computer, use the open-source media library manager Jellyfin to browse and play things from basically any device.
Oh, and don't be a dick. Pirate all you want from big corporations, but please pay independent small-time creators for their work.
Level 6: fucking with Android
Android phones are a lot more locked-down than they used to be, but depending on the device you own you can still do a lot of messing around under the hood. Note that if you get something wrong while doing this, there is always the possibility that it will turn your device into a paperweight.
Before you buy a device, check where it sits on the Bootloader Unlock Wall of Shame. Once you've bought it, check the xda-developer forums for guides on how to unlock it and "root" it (gain admin access) with Magisk.
Once Magisk is installed, you can add modules to do all sorts of cool stuff, including using AdAway in "root mode" which makes it basically invisible.
You can also install YouTube ReVanced, which will do all the ad- and sponsor blocking stuff we took care of in your Windows browser a few paragraphs ago. Be careful: there are a lot of fake sites out there pretending they're associated with the ReVanced project which might be injecting malware into their downloads. This Reddit post has the official instructions and links.
Also, try out the modded version of Facebook from APKmoddone, which will block most of the same shit as the FBcleaner add-on from earlier. There's always a possibility that modified apps like this are doing something dodgy, but I've never had any issues with this one personally.
Level 7: fucking with Windows
This one is scary because it can seriously fuck up your shit if something goes wrong, but some really cool people have actually made it very simple to strip all the bloat, ads, and spyware out of Windows. The tool I use is ReviOS. Start reading at https://www.revi.cc/docs. Basically, you'll need to download a tool called AME Wizard and the ReviOS "playbook" that tells AME what to do. Read the documentation before you do any of this.
Level 8: switching to Linux
I'm not going to pretend this is an option for everyone. Half the software I use on a weekly basis isn't available on Linux. But if you can switch? Do it. These days, Ubuntu - one of the most popular flavours of Linux - is built with people switching from Windows in mind, and a lot of things will be pretty intuitive. It also has great documentation and a huge community you can go to for help if you're confused about stuff.
And that, friends, is a comprehensive approach to banishing the demons of capitalism from your home!
Something I want to add:
You don't even need a pihole for it anymore. You can throw "dns.adguard-dns.com" into your android phone under Network (or Connections) > Private DNS > Private DNS Provider Hostname in your Settings app. You can also set your router up to use it via the IPs:
94.140.14.14
94.140.14.15
Link to to source for that:
Create your ad-blocking DNS server that will protect your personal data, prevent tracking and allow you to control access to specific conten
That will depend on your router, just search "How to set up custom DNS for (router name & model)". You can usually find that info on a sticker on the router itself. The model name is often nonsense like CM1000.
For switching to Linux:
If you're worried about software not working, and the software isn't something with work-related requirements attached, you can usually find alternatives. Alternativeto.net is a good place to start with that.
AlternativeTo lets you find apps and software for Windows, Mac, Linux, iPhone, iPad, Android, Android Tablets, Web Apps, Online, Windows Tab
If you're a gamer, protondb.com will let you see how well your specific game runs on Linux. Ranks are from:
Borked - Does Not Work At All, or works so poorly that you cannot play the game at all
Bronze - Sort of works, but with glitches that don't exist on Windows that affect gameplay
Silver - Works, but requires tinkering, and has glitches that don't affect gameplay, or requires heavy tinkering to get running
Gold - Works, requires mild tinkering (usually just selecting another proton version from the drop down)
Platinum - Works out of the box
Native - Is made for Linux
Other common alternatives:
Spotify: I've heard good things about Tidal, but haven't personally used it (I use a cloud storage service and local files for music)
Google drive: Nextcloud. You can find free servers on their website
Google office: OnlyOffice has a desktop/mobile app, and most of the features
Gmail: Free providers aren't common, but disroot is one of them. They also offer quite a few services. Personally I use mailbox.org, but they do cost $36 a year minimum
Google search: Disroot has a searx instance, startpage.com exists, and you'd be surprised at how far you can get by setting your default search engine to Wikipedia. Marginalia's also good, but selective about what they index (mostly indieweb stuff)
I, admittedly, run almost everything through Emacs nowadays, so there may be better alternatives now.
(Directed generally) Also remember that in most cases the problems are Google, Apple, Facebook, Amazon, and Microsoft. If you find a small project that isn't perfect, remember that those five companies are probably worse in every way imaginable. Look for an alternative, but for the love of whatever you hold dear, Google is *not* a better alternative.
i'm just so passionate about nontraditional paladins
paladins of atypical gods. a paladin of the god of storms whose divine smite is a literal bolt of lightning from the heavens. a paladin of one of the gods of death who seems scary but just wants the dead to receive justice and comfort.
a paladin of one of the "darker" gods who sees themselves as responsible for those that other paladins wouldn't protect— those who are lost, those who maybe aren't innocent but who deserve compassion all the same.
hell, there's a god of thieves (and theyre chaotic neutral)! what does a paladin of the god of thieves look like— how do you have a stalwart defender of a group defined by its secrecy and fluidity? what are they defending— the right of thieves to exist? the value of individual moral codes over societal laws? the honor code of thieves? maybe they strike down "false" thieves, those in it for greed with no respect for the art of theft or the standards respected by other thieves.
and then there's oathbreaker paladins. i just think there are so many more interesting reasons to break an oath than "i didn't want to be good and help people anymore."
give me an oathbreaker paladin whose god commanded them to do something against their morals. who is now branded as a traitor to their god when really it's their god who betrayed them.
give me an oath of vengeance paladin who is tired, not as angry as they once were, and sick of bloodshed. who breaks their oath by sparing an enemy.
give me a paladin whose oath is noble but who is frustrated with the moral absolutism of it. who is sick of their power being dangled over their head, able to be taken away at the slightest mistake. a disciple of ilmater who has been told too many times to bear the suffering of others and for once wants to be cared for. a disciple of the god of fate, sick of being told that theirs and others' suffering is inevitable and unchangeable.
i don't know man just. nontraditional paladins.
official dnd post
The beloved return of the Marion Lavorre robe hand
Sorry but it's not complete without...
There’s a certain folkloric idea that if you die at sea, your soul is sort of. Inextricably stuck in the sea. Because your body is irretrievable, your soul is also irretrievable, down, down, down out of the reach of the gods who look at the surface of the world. In Norse mythology, they say that the souls of sailors who died at sea are caught in the sea-goddess Rán’s net and dragged into her domain, a distinct and separate afterlife alongside Hel and Valhalla. Davy Jones Locker. The funayūrei. A lot of cultures agree that once sea has a hold on you, even when your body has rotted and dwindled and been made food for crabs, it still won’t let you go.
Do you think we’re going to wind up saying the same thing about astronauts.
#I feel like space won't be quite the same#the sea is easy to personify #it moves regularly like breathing #it has moods and temperaments #it pulls you down down and in sucks you away hungrily #the sea is a presence and it wants to keep you or why would it make it so hard to get back to shore #space is a lack #an emptiness #it does not move or breathe or swallow it does nothing at all #it is bigger than the sea bigger than the world #but it has no moods it does not drag you anywhere #it leaves you exactly where you are. forever. #souls in space are not pulled down and kept they are wandering lost #nothing holds them back but earth is a tiny speck and they will not find it again (@iztarshi)
Jasmine Vine, lead programmer of Hollow Knight & Silksong just transitioned!! I'm so happy for her!❤️🏳️⚧️
Hey, fat people deserve to have fun and get their needs met even if they’re the least healthy mf you know. Fat people deserve proper medical care, and carbs, and to wear shorts and so many more things! EVEN IF THEY ARE UNWELL AND ESPECIALLY IF THAT UNWELLNESS IS DUE TO THEIR WEIGHT!!! Fat people deserve the world and more. Not just the healthy fats or attractive fats or small fats or fats that are fat because of medication or disability.
skinny people please reblog this one
Everyone reblog this one
i’m going to burst into tears. such a hauntingly stupid and wonderful phrase to immortalize somewhere. LOOK AT PIttbert!