trying to replicate smiling friends artstyle made me realize that not all my art has to be perfect and non-ambiguous
i’ve been told before that my art is too shaky or or too difficult to understand or too much, but the truth is? i don’t.. give a fuck actually!
like yes i love making art that is suitable for everyone to look at, like for example for those who have bad eyesight or art that doesn’t give people migraines from too much brightness (i love art with alot of colors but i mainly tone mine down because my eyes are kinda shit lmao)
but i also love the complexity, the abstractness, the emotion, the symbolism of art and how it makes me feel when i look at it. and thats why im so against censorship because holy shit man, we woulda never gotten those beautiful pictures and statues of body types that completely obliterated today’s bodily stereotypes from way back then if censorship was that prominent, and seeing more and more people advocating for the hatred of art and works and things that disturb them makes me sad, because i think that people take things that made them personally uncomfortable and define it by themselves, because ive done that alot back then.
“i dont want to see this it makes me feel like i’m supposed to be this when that’s not what i want” is how i would always feel about art i personally didn’t like. like for example art with post-op trans guys who were always dressing simple and like “real men”. but then i realized, “why don’t i make my own damn art anyway? screw what i think! those people can keep doing what they do, win-win”. and i think i found my peace that way. i stopped finding things in art that i hated and learned to find the little things i love about it instead! i started drawing more self portraits even if they were completely fucking wacky like me being a sparkledog with trans scars and long spiky hair even though i have NONE of those things, i also learned to embrace my dysphoria and insecurities in my art and drew my own pre-t and pre-op body more! that doesn’t mean i don’t have dysphoria anymore or don’t feel insecure about some parts of my physical form or im less of a man, it just means i like myself even if it’s not the way i want it to be. and yeah sometimes i spiral and get mad at myself and all that, but then i remember that as long as i have people who love me and i love myself, i will be just fine :)
so if you draw yourself realistically, if you draw yourself unrealistically, if you exaggerate, if you draw yourself with the insecurities you have, it doesn’t mean your less than your identity, it means you are trying to understand yourself more.
fuck censorship and fuck people who tell you who to be, fuck the people who try to fit you into boxes, fuck people who try to make you feel lesser. even if you have to hide those parts of yourself, love yourself, because it’s the best thing you can do in a world that tries to hate you and the things you love.
