My Life Needs Editing

Young novelist trying her best

[goldentortoise]

Designated Weeping Area, a community art project from Cora Lee (coraleecreates, 2021)

[ymawgat]

your car: *bounces back and forth, defeated, its hood swinging by a mere thread*

my car: *triumphantly leaps six feet in the air, spraying hubcaps in victorious fervor*

[mousenemy]

What?

[chromatic-king]

[hylianane]

functionally suicidal character saying “I would die for you” to their significant other and its like. I get the sentiment, honey, but if a hot dog vendor told me he’d sell hot dogs for me, I wouldn’t feel very moved now would I

[maseratus]

Now a functionally suicidal character saying “I will live for you”. Now that’s a dynamic I can sink my teeth into.

[mousidy]

now how about a functionally suicidal character saying "I will sell hot dogs for you"

[mousidy]

[bisthefairy]

Hotdog vender lays down their life to protect their suicidal partner, who then takes over the hotdog stand to carry on their memory...

[maightymai]

[self-mortification]

DONT use glasses, youll become dependent on them to see!!!! #WARONDRUGS #OVERPRESCRIPTION #CORRECTIVELENSADDICTION

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I know this is a humorous exaggeration designed to show how silly it is to deny medication and mobility/quality of life aids to disabled people by applying the argument to something silly in a way that nobody would ever do but... unfortunately I have heard people say this. I've heard people suggest that people with minor sight problems shouldn't get glasses, and people needing to move to a stronger prescription should do it and should stay on as light a prescription as they can use and still function, because the glasses will "weaken their eyes" and make their eyesight worse (which is bullshit). People will pull this ableist bullshit on glasses wearers, too.

[bananonbinary]

unfortunately no matter how much you try to parody ableism, some completely genuine asshole out there already has you beat.

[theothin]

#'you wouldnt say this about wheelchairs!' yes they would.#'you wouldnt do this with a missing limb!' i promise they do#'but what about-' look just assume no matter how stupid it is that people are dicks about it

[draizetrain]

i think when u clean your house it should stay clean forever. what do u mean i have to do it again

[tokkibean]

reader: i love how (detail added on a whim) foreshadows (scene that isnt related) youre a GENIUS

me: yes. of course. i absolutely meant to do that.

[fladurblegon]

“What if poor people abuse the system?”

The system intrinsically abuses poor people.

Hope this helps.

[breninarthur]

"What if poor people abuse the system?"

Rich people abuse the system far more and out of pure greed, not necessity or desperation so idrc about that

[sokolversus]

a knight who has abandoned his past life in pursuit of dragonhood

[kuttithevangu]

All fantasy authors wish they had a bigger bathtub in their house. You can tell by every bathing scene ever written into a fantasy novel

[thewanderingace]

Murderbot 1x07 "Complementary Species"

[onsuchsmallthingstheworldturns]

Galavant (2015) Complete Series : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive

Sitcom, Comedy, Parody, Adventure, Musical, FantasyA musical comedy adventure featuring a knight on a quest for love who helps a childish ki

All the episodes of Galavant are on the Internet Archive!

[titsliker]

theres a trump supporter in my media arts major and sometimes my professor will ask him something simple like "whats the difference between ethics and the law" and he'll (i kid you not) say shit like "uhhh its like. honestly i thought that was like the same thing" and then my professor will give the rest of the class a mischievous knowing look

[titsliker]

[ankle-beez]

surprisingly forward-thinking of jim henson and co. to make a female character in the 70's that's allowed to be loud-mouthed and violent and kind of overwhelmingly romantic and even a huge bitch at times and not have a moment where any character asks her to change

[ankle-beez]

going through all the muppet movies in a row made me realize that like. miss piggy was made in the 70's. and it's so rare even today to have a character like her. she's loud, she's selfish, she's funny, she's extremely vain, she's obsessed with romance, she's violent, she's kind of annoying, and there's not a single moment in any of these films where she's asked to tone down any of these personality traits. i am not joking when i say that miss piggy might be one of the best treated female characters ever written

[kholran]

It’s finally happened.

After almost a decade on this site, I found another Tumblr user in the wild. I stopped to tie my shoe with rainbow laces this morning outside the silversmith at Colonial Williamsburg, and I heard it.

“I like your shoelaces.”

Oh. Oh no.

I responded the only way I could. “Thanks.” And then I reluctantly added, “I stole them from the president…and if that makes sense to you, I’m very sorry.”

The poor man, in full Colonial dress, stared at me for a long moment. And then burst into laughter. And said, “I haven’t thought about that in YEARS and this has never happened to me before.”

Yeah. Me neither. Not until today.

Tumblr rite of passage. Achievement unlocked.

[beggars-opera]

@victoriansecret I found your friend!!!

[beggars-opera]

[parkchanwoohoo]

The facial expressions of everyone trying not to lose it are killing me

[gunsandfireandshit]

This is painfully American

[dirtbaby2016]

Americans be like it is totally normal for an entire stadium (including military members) to stand at attention while a fast food clown mascot sings the national anthem

[unstablebill]

when we say "it is functionally impossible to parody Americans in a way that will actually insult them" this is the sort of thing you're up against. is your sick burn funnier than corporation burger clown sing national anthem baseball game? no?? of course it isn't.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

why r apps asking for pin codes u r NOT that important

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

"2 step verification" i can delete u in 5 seconds

[ziyal]

this shot of the joker pulling up his pants leg seems to imply that the white part of his feet is actually just bare skin, not fabric spats over a pair of dress shoes, as i had always assumed?? which means that the animated series joker has actually been wearing, like, kitten heeled pumps this entire time

[powrbottomjoker]

Just wanted to let you know I thought about this post so hard I ended up cosplaying it 😌

[brawltogethernow]

#the damage buff from that url

Huh what url– OH.

[croakerverse-chronological]

[powrbottomjoker]

I thought I had accidentally deleted this and just about died man THIS IS MY LEGACY.

[foone]