I firmly believe Jackie was depressed even prior the crash.
To me she was depressed and unaware of it. She grew up putting things into place to stay afloat. Mainly Shauna.
Yes, not very healthy to have someone as a pillar against your depression BUT she had no idea she was depressed.
Shauna was the only reason why she thought about the future. Because in her head, no matter what happens, no matter what she feels, she would always have her by her side. The future had to be bright if Shauna was in it.
I have a theory that Jackie might have been neurodivergent. I wouldn't be surprised if Jackie is high masking and her disgust to some things were not just simple "i dont like that" but also sensory issues. But even without it, her being depressed is enough to not have the ability to do things anymore. And she hid it by joking about it, making it look like a choice, not something she couldn't fully control. Something she was fighting against.
Jackie was depressed and not knowing what she was going through, why or how to change that, she put things in place that she THOUGHT she needed but were hurting her instead. JEFF! And I think, the parties too. She would do things, not because she wanted to or liked it but because it made sense to want them because she was Jackie Taylor and wanted to look like THIS and people to like her for THAT etc. She wasn't superficial, she was depressed and trying to construct something, a boat, to stay afloat.
All of that make sense alone, but it can also make sense if Jackie is autistic because it matches the autistic experience for young girls growing up not knowing they are autistic and high masking "high functioning (don't like that one)" so there is nothing to question on the outside. Doesn't have to be, but it could still make sense.
All that to say, Jackie was already feeling alone and lonely, unless she was with Shauna. When she realized her friendship was all a lie, she was already thinking of losing her life. Even before that, she was already thinking about it. Losing her V card was just because, like she said, she didn't want to die a virgin. Not that she thought they would die there, but because she knew... she knew she was about to die soon. When Shauna confirmed her hatred, Jackie had no reason to live. No friend, no love, no future. She couldn't see any reason. She already had so few. And the biggest one that still existed, even in a place as desolate as the one they crashed in, pushed her away. She only saw one future. The one ending there.
So she stayed outside, hoping she was wrong, hoping Shauna loved her, but ready to never move from that spot. No matter what it meant. Because at that point, she saw no future, no light, no life.
She died alone, lonely, not aware of her own depression. She died with no one knowing how devastated she was. No one understanding that she DID want to help. No one knowing her. Not even Shauna.
yousharknotpass
vaporwave
2087
gracieabrams
discoholicmusic
prguitarman
