It is not I who Am Crazy

IT IS I WHO AM MAD!

[protocol00]

anime girl: *breathes*

her tiddies: 

[velen-z-the-lucario]

mostly untrue *yes I am going to be that guy*

[protocol00]

My dude.

[david-lynch-ate-my-son]

some more anime boob physics for you: 

i had to do some uncomfortable google image searches for these!

[haiku-robot]

i had to do some uncomfortable google image searches for these

^Haiku^bot^0.4. Sometimes I do stupid things (but I have improved with syllables!). Beep-boop!

[eric-coldfire]

How dare you leave out the best one?

You’re just jealous your tits don’t move like that because they’re weighed down by your sense of self-doubt.

[mister-christmas]

*boing*

[tadpol-e-pidemic]

So anime creators really never seen a boob in real life huh

[rainbowsnwater-deactivated20181]

THE FUCKING BULLET OMFG WHERE IS THAT FROM

[ohhhhhnoolmaooooookk-deactivate]

ridiculous titty anime really is it’s own genre lmfao

[octopuscato]

Watching this hurts.

[ispyspookymansion]

happy this cannot continue sunday btw

[aru]

Tumblr Code.

[geekishchic]

If I ever see any of you in public, the code is “I like your shoelaces”

that way we know we’re from tumblr without revealing anything

I’m just going to say this to strangers until i find a tumblr person

must keep reblogering!! Im going to be so suspicious if any one tells me this now!

Remember the answer is: I stole them from the president.

always reblog tumblr identification

[princessnymphae]

my friend has a tumblr account but DOESNT know this… life is so empty

[bye-bye-sanity]

I FOUND THE ORIGINAL

[renderofbears]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[yay-bunnies-zone]

How do you feel about the humble snowshoe hare? (They have different coat colours depending on if its snowy or not)

They have very powerful paws

well any kind of bunny is a beautiful sweetie but a bigpaw bunny is very very nice....

[ultrabunnymagnolia]

capable of incredible feets

[butchsunbear]

The incredible feets 👇

[politicalprof]

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

[madfishmonger]

Red marker handwriting on a bathroom wall. Text reads:

“Boss made a dollar Granddad made a dime But that was a poem From a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand Gave pa a cent But that penny paid the mortgage Or at least it paid the rent

Now Boss makes a million And gives us jack Smugly blames the workers For the labor that he lacks.”

[a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark]

And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

[daysleftofsecondterm]

1,046 days left

[important-cat-pics]

[yuriwinged]

the prince has begun practicing curtseying in the mirror. which could mean nothing.

[heydocverdant]

we have good news and bad news, my liege. the good news is that we now know what that curtsying was about: you will be pleased to know that, after several heartfelt conversations between your child, the court jesters and a myriad of singing woodland creatures, you are now the parent of a proud and joyful new princess. the bad news is that, due to a series of events related to the dragon-sized hole in her bedchamber wall,

[illmoraineakoi]

I love the insinuation that the second the princess realized she was a girl and thus actually a princess, the dragon was there. That thing wasted no time. It heard "princess" and was like "I need no further invitation, here I come."

Gender affirmed by Dragon. Amazing.

[heydocverdant]

pretty sure you’re literally the only person who understood my vision on this accursed post

[biovyxart]

Petreat dish coming up 🧫

[average-smoothie-enjoyer]

My favorite “humans are space orcs” idea is that trope where aliens kidnap some humans for their zoo, except it ends up like Jurassic Park. And the poor Alien Humanologists who were invited to the park are like:

“You mean you locked up a pack of curious, highly competitive persistence predators with NO enrichment in the enclosure? You FOOLS! If you had bothered to throw a basketball or half a box of Legos in there, KE-X9 would still be alive!

“Well of course they climbed the retaining wall! Did you think to study their evolutionary lineage AT ALL?”

[what-even-is-thiss]

The humans would find a way to use the basketball and legos to escape. I mean one time a guy somehow escaped from a prison in Mexico without breaking any laws so his escape would be legal so honestly given enough time the Jurassic park situation is inevitable.

[elidyce]

Jurassic Park would be awesome, but now that I think about it I also kind of love love the idea of humans as the alien zoo equivalent of those octopuses that climb out of their tanks and wander around taste-testing other exhibits or throwing sub-par shrimp at handlers. 

Like they’re totally unable to figure out what’s happening because the cameras keep going out, but every night things get moved, or stolen, exhibits are disappearing, WHAT IS GOING ON, they’ve moved facilities twice and it’s still happening, are they haunted, are the ancestors angry, WHAT IS HAPPENING!?

And then a weary humanologist is all ‘… your humans are getting out’. 

“That is impossible.” 

“They’re getting out.” 

“That enclosure is COMPLETELY SECURE.” 

“And yet somehow they’re getting out.” 

“THE HUMANS ARE NOT GETTING OUT.” 

“Oh yeah? I bet you twenty glarks they’re getting out. Stay after closing time with me and I’ll show you.” 

*next day*

“… the humans were getting out.” 

“… why did they keep going back in, then?!”

(In a deeply embarrassed mumble) “They said they weren’t going to escape until they finished their behavioural experiments. Uh. On us.”

[weaselle]

two things come to mind:

1 - at our own zoos the MOST notorious jail breakers are the orangutans, who exploit all manner of methods, including literal lock picking. One orangutan, Ken Allen escaped several times WHILE THE ZOO WAS OPEN TO THE PUBLIC without getting caught by watching Zoo employees, even when they tried to disguise themselves as tourists to catch him at it. While he was being “secretly” surveilled, he managed to escape AND show the other orangutans how to escape. They finally found out he was doing some thought-to-be-impossible rock climbing to escape. To fix it, they brought in a team of human rock-climbers to locate all possible methods of climbing out. So. Humans would absolutely be the worst to try to keep contained. Like, “escape rooms” are currently seen as a fun date idea. I’m sayin.

2 - animals that escape most often return to their own enclosure (after all that’s where their beds and dinners are, and if the zoo is any good it is the place best suited to their species-specific needs for miles and miles) after they have had sufficient excitement. Ken Allen the orangutan would escape and wander around the zoo looking at the animals like he’d bought a ticket. So if the keepers were nice, and formed a bond, and the set up was comfy, once the human knew they could get out if they really wanted, they’d probably go back, depending on how uncomfortable/dangerous the alien environment was.

I mean if they were raised in captivity. Wild-caught humans, all bets are off; depending on age of capture a return home could be a full blown obsession, the sabotage of engineering from mechanisms up to entire facilities is a strong possibility, and they may go on a murder spree with improvised or stolen weapons if desperate.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Humans consider an Escape Room to be a Fun Courtship Ritual

[ultramaddie]

when it happens, there will be a crab rave like no other

[ultramaddie]

every day i ask the crabs “is now the time?”

and every day the crabs sadly reply with a negative

[edgebug]

[piranya]

[edgebug]

[loshka]

Harris’s hawks are known to hunt in packs and will stack on top of each other to look for prey

[loshka]

i thought about making it worse

[statictay]

once again i love how star wars takes place in a massive galaxy with thousands of planets and billions of people, and yet every bounty hunter knows each other personally

[dragonfox-in-a-teacup]

It's called networking babe

[youvebeenlivingfictional]

when Boba Fett adds you on LinkedIn you know you've made it

[humming-fly]

you ever have just like, a really bad idea

anyways if you like bad things here’s a postcard

[humming-fly]

I was trying to figure out why this post starting spiking recently and then I found out you animals had this queued for Mother’s Day

[dynachan]

[wannab-urs]

he definitely fucks but there’s no way he fucks normal

[archliches]

man c'mon

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[enlightened-moth]

[adanddavid]

[megslibrary]

In honor of Carrie and Star Wars Day. May the force be with you!

[newtype-lila]

rb to tell prev they're being so brave right now and pat their head a little please

[gojira007]