Kinks are welcome :)

Xperimental on Ao3 for fandom and (mostly extremely) Filth and experimental (ha HA) writing. There's 99.9% risk of seeing 18+ content eventually and 100% of seeing it on my ao3. Also new fandom interest! Asks open for whatever

[ao3tagoftheday]

[Image Description: Tag reading “donatello/michelangelo”]

The AO3 Tag of the Day is: Renaissance fanart

[ethermaster-blog]

I’m gonna let you in on a secret.

That aint renaissance fanart

[ao3tagoftheday]

You know what, assholes? I run this blog for y'all every day. I see things you cannot begin to imagine. I have to read people’s Robespierre smut and their questions about how various monsters would fuck them. I am so jaded that, when someone submits a tag mentioning some random vaguely liquid substance without context, I just assume it’s being used as lube. Nutella? Lube. Crazy glue? Lube. Divine fucking ichor? Fucking lube! I do this for you, y'all. I shield you from this shit. I stand athwart the tides of horror, hold my hands up, and yell “STOP” in the hopes that it will keep the waters from reaching you.

So you know what, fuckheads!? If I want to maintain the one tiny scrap of innocence I have left, I will. The official policy of AO3TagoftheDay is now that turtles, teenage, mutant, ninja, or otherwise, do not fuck. It never happens. They don’t fuck. They don’t fuck each other. They don’t fuck humans. They don’t fuck in real life and they don’t fuck in fiction. This tag is about two gay Renaissance painters holding each other close and kissing chastely under the Sistine chapel ceiling.

There. Glad we got that sorted out. Please return to your regularly scheduled programming.

[friendlylycanthrope]

Ao3tagoftheday finally snapped

[mollyscribbles]

okay, I was mentally arguing the assumption that it was turtles from the beginning because I have seen enough fic based on random shit not to doubt the initial description.  Freecell, gmail themes, The Man Your Man Could Smell Like – of course someone’s written it.  So I checked.

everyone apologize to Ao3tagoftheday, please.

[autisticexpression]

Amazing

[bleekay]

its so shiddy when u have to convince yourself to do your hobbies. like, its fun, you like it, why cant you just do it. do it. do it. but what if.... mindless media consumption instead....

[bleekay]

im so sorry to the seven thousand of you so far who relate

[g1sunstreaker]

upset at the accuracy of these tags

[figma-deactivated20161222]

[drkatzgoodbye4everarchive]

[virgoprivilege]

gen z are like "we're bringing early 2000s back" ok then commit

[beggars-opera]

DO IT

[chilewithcarnage]

[amirdrassil]

ok forget everything else i’ve previously said on the subject - THIS is my favourite star wars behind-the-scenes story:

[fialleril]

This is the greatest thing I have ever read.

[qthewetsprocket]

What, your Bible doesn’t have the nativity story with God’s miracle of the sentient trash bin coming to pay its respects to the baby Jesus?

[dragon-in-a-fez]

these wise men have travelled far and brought gifts of gold, frankincense, and the plans for the Death Star

[creekfiend]

[desolationlesbian]

I’ve never been to Las Vegas but I love it in concept because it sounds so made up. Imagine if you were reading a fantasy novel and they were like “smack in the middle of a deadly inhospitable desert there is a glittering city of indulgence and lawlessness and cheap sin that has specifically engineered itself to obfuscate your sense of time and keep you there as long as possible while they take all your valuables.” You’d be like yeah that’s some wizard shit. 

[gutsybitsies]

The first time Ransom brought Holster home

Mom: He’s…tall…

Dad: I didn’t expect your boyfriend to be this…tall

Auntie 1: Well we all knew he was going to a predominantly…tall school

Holster: It’s okay I know I’m white.

[9buttersxxx]

[r4cs0]

Holy shit lol

[pikaglove]

We stan

[aaaaasneakattack]

That ending fucking blindsided me

[that-twink-over-there]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

so i saw a discussion about feeling empathy toward children where an adult was explaining that they were worried something might be wrong with them bc they couldn’t feel empathy toward children and ultimately always sees them as “little adults” and didn’t want to comfort and nurture or protect them because all they saw was “someone who’d be an adult one day.”

and everyone went on reassuring them that nothing was wrong with them, they just weren’t a naturally parental person, which is fair and true!

but I didn’t see anybody making what I feel is the most important point, which is:

regardless, you still have to pretend empathy for the child.

No, you don’t have to have your own child, you don’t have to go out of your way to interact with children, and nothing is “wrong” with you if you largely find children annoying. you can tell your adult friends “I don’t have any patience for kids and prefer to not be around them,”

but if you view children as “little adults,” you HAVE to then logically say “but they’re not. they’re children, and I’M the ACTUAL adult, and it’s MY responsibility to treat them well and be nice when I’m around them.”

and I don’t want to see any comments like “must be nice to be neurotypical” on this, because I’m not, and there’s no mental illness that makes it okay to treat others badly, sorry. You have to be nice to children.

It’s just literally human decency. It’s one of the most simple rules of our species. Just be good to children.

[hoothootmotherf-ckers]

hardison: everyone in this found family has so many damn emotional issues that it would make them uncomfortable if i just said shit like “i love and care about you,” so i just buy us home bases and make everyone fake IDs and give em restaurants and $100k motorcycles and leave the ball in their court for when they’re ready"

[arbitrarity]

hardison, sneaking love through to the team unnoticed: *hacker voice* i’m in

[byebyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee]

temari and kankuro getting forehead scars matching gaaras that say “live” and “laugh”

[fineillsignup]

the hardest part of this was finding screencaps showing Kankurou’s forehead (obv I gave up)

[mintedwitcher]

Hey uh if anyone planning on watching Bo Burnham's new special here's a couple warnings first:

1. Big one off the bat: lots of strobing, flickering and flashing lights. Lighting is a huge aspect of this particular special, more than his previous ones, so please be aware of this. There are no effect warnings on the special itself.

2. If you're a high-empathy type of person I recommend you don't watch this special on your own. It basically chronicles Bo's mental state throughout 2020 and its rough to watch.

3. There are repeated mentions of self harm and suicide in this special, so if those are triggering for you, keep that in mind.

Those are all the warnings I can think of right now. Just. Go carefully with this one.

[hedgehog-moss]

Exactly 20 years ago (give or take a few days) like most French schoolchildren I was given a piggy bank to collect yellow coins (small change). It was a charity campaign called Opération Pièces Jaunes, to help hospitalised children, but my classmates & I were quite indifferent to the charity aspect because all we cared about was the fact that our teacher started giving us a candle in the shape of President Jacques Chirac every time we returned our little box filled with coins. 

We were completely enraptured by those candles and the way the president’s face would start melting hideously if we let them burn long enough. Without any kind of deliberation among ourselves we turned it into a class-wide contest—it was obvious to everyone that the point of the Yellow Coins charity campaign was to win many little Chiracs and melt them to make the face of our president as freakishly deformed as possible. We exchanged them for pogs and marbles. We had recently learnt about the Plague in history class, with great relish, hence one lucky girl who managed to obtain a particularly monstrous half-melted face with a big wax bubble reminiscent of a bubo sold it way above the going rate, for 12 galaxy marbles—a fortune. (I was among the losers of this auction, and commented in my diary, with deep regret, “It’s just what it would look like if the President had the bubonic plague!”) Every day after school we went round town begging passersby for coins with something akin to mania in order to get more Chiracs to burn into ever ghastlier shapes. An old lady we ambushed in front of the church praised us warmly for our charitable spirit.

Eventually our teacher ran out of candles and this odd chapter of my childhood ended as abruptly as it had started. Our class was congratulated in front of the whole school for being by far the most ardently devoted to the cause (we got ~15kg of coins.) I wonder if the principal asked our teacher what her secret was to make us collect a truly astonishing amount of coins compared to the other classes, and how he reacted when she replied that she motivated us with busts of the President. One teacher gave a Carambar for a full box of coins, another believed that helping sick children should be incentive enough, but our teacher, an expert in child psychology, was alone in her conviction that the best way to go about this was to hand out human wax effigies for her students to burn.

[hedgehog-moss]

This post is now one year old and my favourite thing about it is that no French person in the notes has ever seen a Chirac candle before, which strengthens my theory that my primary school teacher was making them herself, at home, as a hobby, and with this exact purpose in mind.

[daloy-politsey]

Black Hammer actually bought some land. Holy shit.

[daloy-politsey]

[pattern-53-enfield]

Remember that commune of hippies tilling rocks from Easy Rider? Same energy.

[kineticpenguin]

[christianstepmoms]

[pileofknives]

This is Dashcon: the Ethnostate

[kasaron]

Hooo boyo.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

But wait, there’s more!

Also given the soil testing thing, I’d guess a single season before this whole thing crashes and burns spectacularly. I’m all for people staking out their own land, but if you’re gonna do it at least be smart about it. Plus, won’t stop me pointing and mocking how racist they are.

[assoc-of-free-people]

Is this just getting started?!

Where is it? I want to see the rich land at 10,000 feet up a mountain.

[assoc-of-free-people]

lmaoo it looks like someone sold them a reclaimed strip mine

they’re going to starve if they’re planning on living off cedar scrub

[avesblues]

Who wanna bet that none of these people know how to grow anything, let alone build any sort of infrastructure.

[kaldicuct]

@snowie-skyes​ hehehehe

[idle-drifter]

What exactly are they going to do there besides raise their fists for a camera? 200 acres of high desert with only shrubs, sage, and cedar. No crops could grow there unless they built a large green house. How deep are the wells going to be needed to provide water? Would livestock be even an option. Do they own the mineral rights on the land?

[edward-blake-unknown-knight]

I know @kaldicuct @uncle-beanbag @theminingengineer and myself I know they’re more in the thread.

That can definitely live off the land and see that it’s definitely crap land not impossible land but crap land that’s going to have a shit load of money thrown at it.

And elbow grease a lot.

[uncle-beanbag]

Thank you god for showing me these images. 

It’s the west desert. North of me. These fuckers are in for a huge shock. I love it so god damned much. 

[gunn1337]

Can’t wait to see more!

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

@uncle-beanbag over by me??

[uncle-beanbag]

Yep. West desert

[urbanfantasyinspiration]

Oh I just had a bad thought

[ruinedchildhood]

[phantomrose17]

[silly-jellyghoty]

[lenacraft]

March

[ruinedchildhood]

[mynonsenseistingling]

It’s gonna be

[simplyviolinandlife]

ITS MAY

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

My favourite fact about chess ever is how Garry Kasparov, a Russian grandmaster and former world chess champion, once said during an interview:

"Well, in the past, I have said that there is real chess and women’s chess. Some people don’t like to hear this, but chess does not fit women properly. It’s a fight, you know? A big fight. It’s not for women."

Only for Kasparov to get absolutely obliterated by Judit Polgar, a Hungarian woman, a few years later.

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Another fun fact: Judit Polgar, at the time of receiving her grandmaster title in 1991, was the youngest player to EVER receive the title at only age 15. Judit Polgar is straight up a chess legend. She was also the youngest player to ever be inducted into the FIDE top 100, ranking 55 at only age 12.

Judit has defeated numerous other chess legends, such as Anatoly Karpov, Viswanathan Anand, and Boris Spassky, all former world chess champions. She has even won a match against Magnus Carlsen, who is the current world chess champion as of 2021. When I tell you this woman is a beast I mean she is RUTHLESS.

Famously, in 1994, during a match with Judit Polgar, Garry Kasparov cheated, taking back a move after realising it was losing, even though this is very much against the rules of chess. At the time, Judit was only 17. Imagine being so good at age 17 that you make the world champion cheat!

Anyways. Stan chess legend Judit Polgar because she is a beast!!!!!

[homo-sex-shoe-whale]

Yet another fun fact: her sister, Susan Polgar, is ALSO a chess grandmaster and was women's world champion in 1996!

And, their sister Sofia Polgar, is ALSO a chess international master! Meaning that all three Polgar sisters are chess masters!