you've shivered your last timber

he/she if will could, will wood in too many fandoms to count

[hjartasalt]

Mods are asleep post forbidden tits

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Huh

[hjartasalt]

Hhhhhhh

[anothermarkiplierfan]

Perfectly balanced as all things should be…

[0v9]

[lexeirikrleif]

[fruitloopghosty]

[offbrandbeethoven-blog]

i

[immortalcheesewedge]

balance

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

“If I had time travel I’d kill Hitler” “If I had time travel I’d stop my favourite politician getting assassinated” you’re all thinking way too small. If I had time travel I’d stop Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin from dying on the moon due to Soviet sabotage, kicking off the Great Nuclear War and devastating half of the planet.

[stavarosthearcane]

Good Job.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#this post gets me every time 

It’s from two days ago fam how many times could there have been

[heroofthreefaces]

do you think no one else has time travel

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Happy one month anniversary to this post that has not allowed me a single day of fucking peace since I made it.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

#surprise reblog!! 

STOP IT’S BEEN MONTHS. MONTHS!

YOU CAN STOP.

[roach-works]

wow if only you had a time machine

[transdaughterofthesun]

Honestly having reached a billion notes I think it’s safe to say that in the Year of our lord 2041, this is the most popular tumblr post out there.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m killing your parents before you’re born

[iforgotmyfandom]

:)

[idiototheinternet]

Still here, why’d you hesitate @derinthescarletpescatarian

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Your mum’s ability to hold up under active gunfire was really hot. I’m your dad now.

[lizyarikus]

Isn’t that the plot of Terminator

[anexperimentallife]

Where do you think the plot for Terminator came from?

[what-if-i-just-did]

This is such a classic trainwreck post that has the vibes of a 2014 screenshot posted to Pinterest and then the last addition is just last Tuesday I can’t even

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Imagine how I feel

[mrsjdavis]

POST, LIVE FOREVER!!!!!!

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

It doesn’t have to

[smegorl]

Yes it does.

[type-blaze0]

Of course it has to, it gets a billion notes in 2041

[angels-haven-official]

We all know who needs to be @’d

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

[ollielephant]

[cumonthevoid]

none pizza with left beef

[the-chocolate-chip-pancake-blog]

It should be a rule of Tumblr to always reblog none pizza with left beef

[babymarkers]

ive missed you

[montparnah-deactivated]

#THIS IS MY FAVORITE FUCKING THING JUST THE BEEF#YOU COULD TELL THE POOR CHEF WAS JUST FUCKING#DISGUSTED#WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS#WHAT THE F U C K IS THIS#WHO THE FUCK ORDERS A#A /NONE/ PIZZA?? JUST BEEF ON THE LEFT???#FUCK IT#F U CK IT#JUST COOK THE FUCKING DOUGH#HERE LET ME THROW THIS FUCKING HANDFUL OF OBLONG BEEF CHUNKS AT YOUR NONE FUCKING PIZZA#FUCK YOU#FUCK YOU AND ALL YOU STAND FOR#LEFT FUCKING BEEF (via askscientistcarlos)

[ineffable-raccoon]

I love None Pizza with Left Beef.

[tonyswirl]

3th time i’ve reblogged this

[everybidenjusthavegoodtime]

mark, my words. *mark brings me my dictionary* thank you mark

[lesbianshepard]

honey is the only food product that never spoils. there are pots of honey that are over five thousand years old and still completely edible

[lesbianshepard]

i also want to point out we know it tastes the same even after thousands of years b/c archaeologists who discovered two thousand year old honey tasted it. presumably right after they looked at each other and went “what the hell here goes nothing”

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

[key--lime--pie]

I’m pretty sure they also identify human remains by taste. Archaeologists are straight up freaks.

[notaflippinmermaid]

No, no no… you identify bone from rock or other substances by touching it to your tongue. If it sticks, it’s bone. The taste itself has nothing to do with it. And most archaeologists won’t lick human bones if they know they’re human.

…and I realize that doesn’t actually do much to prove archaeologists aren’t freaks.

[midnightmindcave]

mai nam is jane and wen i dig i fynde some roks both smol and big i put my tung upon the stone for science yes i lik the bone

[dinosauriaawesome]

I’m sitting with a bunch of archaeologists and we just laughed so hard we CRIED we’re getting tshirts with this on them

[thesaltofcarthage]

I will never ever get tired of seeing bredlik poems. It is really one of the seminal art forms of the century. I am not being sarcastic. 

[wholesome-dragon-lady]

If I ever don’t reblog this, assume I’m dead and archaeologists are licking my bones.

[shymagnolia]

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

[shymagnolia]

okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post

[flagellant]

…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment

likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post

[coffee-or-hot-cocoa]

i need all the help i can get for finals

[finnglas]

Hey so

the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like. 

So you know. 

This might be the real one, y’all.

[avhira]

I could use some luck

[wolfiethehedgie]

Reblogging to grant good luck! hoping for just a little luck this week ^^’ but saving the rest for those who may need it! <3

[canine-despair]

reblogging this for myself and for anyone who needs it ^^

[t3eth-n-p4wzz]

could definitely a bit of luck rn

[dogpuppy]

[sleebyjam]

Okay, I'll bite. Hawm

[mintchipped]

rb to tell ur mutuals ur fond of them

[greens-recipe-book]

Are you called Green cuz you on that green

[melancholygirls]

I passed a flower shop next to a tattoo shop and at first I laughed because I thought it was ironic and then i freaked because IMAGINE YOUR OTP IN A FLORIST/TATTOO ARTIST AU

[stillalittlekid]

OMG I COULD TOTALLY IMAGINE THEM LIKE THAT IT WOULD BE SO PERFECT

[christ-with-a-why]

[melancholygirls]

I cannot BELIEVE a post I made when I was 13 is circulating! And also apparently started this trope? I thought somebody had the idea separately and it blew up that way😭

[duckydoesstuff]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame for your collection

[saul-tortellini]

This is perhaps my new favorite video

[transmechanicus]

I would like to state for the record i’ve ignored this post the last 50 times i’ve seen it bc i thought it would be some hyper cutsie anime girl voice and i’m overjoyed to report it is instead Weapons Grade Miku complete with war horns that fuck

[mutantrenegade]

You know Jones soda cap, as a tumblr user i can actually say i think I have.

[miloticmiku]

I hadn’t seen one of these yet

[qin-shi-huang-di]

Ey boss? Yeah, we found this meteor, see, and we thinks you might wanna have a look at it.

yippee! a meteor is surely an auspicious sign from Heaven, i must send my imperial secretary to inspect this Heavenly Stone immediately. perhaps it even has a prophecy inscribed on it!

[qin-shi-huang-di]

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT

[qin-shi-huang-di]

hi peons, i was a tiny little bit upset by this crime but i promise im over it now. if someone would like to step forward and confess i will be very very lenient with them

[qin-shi-huang-di]

ok that was my attempt to be nice. kill everyone in the nearby village and pulverise this rock

[swordsman-jing-ke]

hey Emperor Dipshit how do we know its not an actual prophecy from Heaven?

[qin-shi-huang-di]

im literally so nicies ☺️

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

hey guys feeling demotivated so im making a note challenge!!

1 note: I quit being a sheriff

10 notes: I start a rebellion

100 notes: I take over the dynasty

1,000 notes: I start the first golden age of China

1,000,000,000 notes: idk I seduce qsh or something you guys let me know

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

great news guys I just started a rebellion 👍 thanks for all the support, wish me luck defeating xiang yu!

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

new dynasty new me 😎

[emperor-gaozu-of-han]

GUESS WHOSE GOLDEN AAAAAAGE

[qin-shi-huang-di]

STOP REBLOGGING THIS SEDITIOUS POST YOU TRAITOROUS TRAITORS!!!!! THIS IS AN ORDER!!!!!

[strike-the-zither]

if this gets to 3k i'll bribe an itinerant scholar into writing anonymous slash fic

[qin-shi-huang-di]

NO THE FUCK YOU WILL NOT!!!!!!

[strike-the-zither]

4K and liu bang tops

[qin-shi-huang-di]

DETLE YUOR FUCKING BO G

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

wooo ya boy's getting paid tonight!!!!

[qin-shi-huang-di]

what do you mean by this, social media intern? his royal highness has made it clear this is an unpaid position.

[grand-theft-carbohydrates]

;O_O i mean i have grown rich in patriotism and legal knowledge under bixia's most illustrious tutelage.

[qin-shi-huang-di]

ok, yay! guards, you can take the horses back to the stables.

[legality-graphics]

Cowboy (and adjacent) graphics!

A couple other posts with western graphics:

post 1, post 2