[arcsi0]

the concept of senshi and grace having segments on tenna’s show came to me in a vision from on high

[red-garden]

“Do dishes” and “take out trash” both require the use of a spell slot, vs “use phone” is a cantrip, and brother, I am a level one wizard

[flanneldragon]

halo lore is so fucking funny to me. all it really needed to be was 'youre john halo and youre a badass space marine that doesnt afraid of anything' but instead youre a war orphan created by the space CIA to be a robo-pinkerton to put down galactic worker revolts, but luckily whole hordes of you were created right in time for the most evil alien empire to ever exist to make first contact with us by nuking a planet to glass

[flanneldragon]

also, the evil alien empire isnt doing this because theyre evil, their trio of space popes asked an ancient sacred AI what the fuck humans were and the ai was like 'oh those are ants that god loves more than you' and the popes immediately decided the only way to keep their cushy jobs and big dumb hats was to annihilate the human race. it almost worked, too! luckily, one of the robo-pinkertons is so freakishly lucky an AI noticed the statistical anomalies surrounding him and took him in as her favorite little meow meow and now they have a toxic co-dependent relationship and are going to nuke alien new york

[memorycycle]

first thing id do as a skeleton is drink red wine from a goblet and have it spill out everywhere . second thing id do is play my ribs like a xylophone

[evilnicegirl]

this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018

[elbiotipo]

we don't hate J.J. Abrams enough

[elbiotipo]

Branson Reese, whoever you are, I keep your words in my heart all the time.

[kaijuerotica]

"branson reese, whoever you are" put some respect on the smooth sharks one fear man's name

[malibuklaus]

[galadriel1010]

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

[transcyberism]

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.

[watchpoob]

Winter has arrived on Poob.

Start your 7 day free trial of Poob today, and watch smash hit Martin Scorcese's Goncharov.

[jack-the-fool]

Rocky: Grace say Hail Mary archives have all Human media yet Rocky still cannot find classic film Goncharov for movie night statment.

Grace: ....What?

Rocky: Grace not know own earth greatest mafia movie ever made question?

Grace: .......

Grace: What?

[phantomrose96]

I think Elon Musk has done irreparable damage to the tech industry.

[phantomrose96]

Elon bought twitter in late 2022, fired 75% of the employees, and 'proved' the platform could limp along under the 'wear 4 hats at once' efforts of the remaining employees, and the rest of big tech got big ideas.

[phantomrose96]

There are many intersecting elements at play between the tech market downturn in late 2022 and the interest rates hikes and the reduced need for online infrastructure post-quarantine and the advent of AI. But big tech are a bunch of homework-copying lemmings and that Reddit-brained manchild kicked over the first 6,000 dominos.

[phantomrose96]

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

[relia-robot-writes]

"Imagine," says the voice, "that you were underneath a blanket. It's a little small, so your feet poke out from underneath it, and your arms come out from either side."

"Okay," says the human, dangling upside down, suspended by a group of tentacles. "I got it."

"Right," says the voice, which comes from everywhere and nowhere. "Now consider a cat. The cat thinks you're kind of like a cat, but you're so big, he has some problems understanding that all of your body is really you."

"Am I the-"

"Yes. Now listen. Especially under the blanket, the cat doesn't really know where your body begins and ends. He sees your feet, and decides to attack them. He's only play-fighting, but his claws are real sharp, so it hurts. What would you do?"

"Well," says the human, gently spinning in the tentacle's grasp, "I'd try to tuck my feet under the blanket."

"Ah, but then it's even worse," claims the voice, triumphantly, "because now your cat sees Blanket Monsters and attacks them twice as hard."

"So you have to grab the cat."

"It's either that or burrito her," says the voice, squeezing the human in the grip of its tentacles. "And since in this metaphor the blanket represents the fabric of reality as you know it, I don't think you'd find it very pleasant."

"Fair enough," says the human, blood beginning to pool in her head. "Can you please put me down, now? I promise I won't attack you again."

"That's what the cat says every time, too, and yet..."

[the-real-seebs]

so thinking about this, i am reminded of graystoke, the smartest cat by far that i ever had.

graystoke hated feet and frequently attacked them.

and one day, when he was probably ten or so, he attacked my feet, and i said ow, and he suddenly stared at me with this look of absolute horror. and he did not attack feet again.

[siena-sevenwits]

Hey everyone, looks like the “cat summoned for jury duty” was ai generated - even has the ai symbol at the top. Thanks for the heads up, @cannot-all-throw-inkpots . My apologies- I did not realize when I shared it.

[theriu]

Aww dangit. Guess that makes sense, but it was so believable because I can 100% see that kind of goofup happening

[theriu]

Some positive news: There really WAS a cat summoned for jury duty back in 2010. Turns out the error was quickly corrected and the cat did NOT actually have to travel to the courthouse. But at least we can enjoy the fact that a papereork glitch did once try to give a cat jury duty XD

[anarch0possum]

if i had a time machine, first thing id do is obviously kill hitler. even if germanys fascism was caused by complex socioeconomic factors itd still be worth doing for the bit. then id go even further back to the early 20th century and become one of those old timey bank robbers, when they had names like 'pretty boy floyd' and 'baby face nelson' and id make sure people knew me as 'sweet baby ray' just to see how it fucks with barbeque sauce history

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[kjscottwrites]

[consolecadet]

These remind me of this drawing by Franz Kafka from the 1900s. We've been feeling this way for a long time.

[smol-civet]

prev, i'm sure you mean my guy Leonid Pasternak

[philcollinsenjoyer]

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly