Your Davina

my letters to you

[your-sweet-davina]

Don’t break someone’s trust and expect them to see you the same way as before.

The people you have hurt will never be the same because of you.

They can never trust you anymore. 

They will not believe your words and actions like they used to.

They will not look at you with the same good reputation you once had.

And they can never love you the same way.

The crack you have created in their heart will forever be ingrained in their soul.

“Sorry” will never be enough to erase the pain you have caused them.

Changed behavior will always be looked at with doubt and confusion.

No amount of self depreciation will guilt trip them into forgiving you.

You will always be marked as the traitor that broke their trust and hurt their feelings.

You can’t hurt people and expect them to forget just like that.

They may say they forgive you, but they will never trust you again.

You will never be loved with the same heart because you have broken that heart with your lies, secrets, and hurtful actions.

Learn your lessons and accept that bad karma will one day catch up on you in behalf of the innocent people you have fooled with your fake love.

[your-sweet-davina]

In our life, we will meet people that are so self-centered that they feel entitled to think that people should be grateful for their existence. Or at least be grateful for whatever good they did and the bad they didn’t do.

Remember: other people shouldn’t be told to be grateful about you. Nobody should be obliged to appreciate you. Specially when you did the bare minimum of being a good person to them.

Not doing something bad does not automatically equal to you being a saint. 

Just because you don’t do drugs doesn’t automatically make you a good person. You may not do drugs but you don’t respect your parents.

You don’t start fights but you talk badly behind other people’s back.

You study well but you sneak out at midnight to meet with your delinquent friends.

You serve in your local church but lie to keep your many secret lovers.

Just because you do some things that are good and you don’t do some things that are bad doesn’t mean people should be grateful for that.

You’re literally doing the bare minimum of being a decent person.

Get off your high horse and don’t expect people to grovel on your feet because you believe you did them a favor by not being a criminal. 

Others shouldn’t be obliged to thank you for being an average and normal human being.

You’re not an angel. Humble yourself. 

[your-sweet-davina]

Please don’t be the type of person that kills the joy of others.

The one that acts indifferent about something someone was excited about to share.

The type of person that gives a monotone lie when asked about how they were.

Someone that refuses to open up but makes sure to let others know something is up.

Someone that doesn’t care about making others worry with actions they know will make others overthink about.

Don’t be the person that doesn’t consider the feelings of others.

The one that refuses to stop doing what they know is hurting those that love them.

Don’t be the person that manipulates other people by guilt tripping and gaslighting them.

By refusing to admit and take accountability for their mistakes.

Don’t be the person that apologizes for hurting others but still continues to do so.

Don’t be someone that breaks promises, specially about something the other person trusts you to keep. And specially promises you made that involves other people.

Don’t be the person that doesn’t keep their words over and over again. Someone that don’t see the value in their own words and how this affects their reliability.

Don’t break others’ trust like that.

Don’t by the type to run away from fixing relationship problems.

Don’t choose to leave someone who loves you for no apparent reason. Specially when they beg you to stay.

Don’t be that toxic person that refuses to see their own toxicity.

Please don’t hurt people like that.

[your-sweet-davina]

In life, sometimes we have to let go of people that we want to hold on to forever. We want to force them and ourselves to stay and hold on to the future we once talked about having with them. We will try to find other solutions to problems already solved but we do not like the answer of.

But that’s life, my dear. Some deep and loving connections will ran its course and fulfill its purpose. And once fulfilled, we must let it go to accept another.

And more often, we don’t want to. We don’t want new because we felt already contented on the old we’ve always had.

But love, life is all about change. Life is all about growth. And we can only grow outside our comfort zone—outside the familiar, away from what we’ve always been with.

Some connections will ultimately reach its end and there’s no way to stop it. Like death.

And we must learn to accept it, my love. We cannot hold on to the same things forever. Specially when better is waiting on us to accept it. It’s hard I know, but it’s what’s needed to be done for us to step into a new chapter of our life. Some characters have finished their plot in our story, it’s time for new people with new adventures for us to experience with them.

Remember that disconnections doesn’t mean the connection failed, it just means it’s already served its purpose and we now have to move forward without them.

It’s okay to release and let go of the future we once thought we would have with the people we never thought we could lose. The love shared is and will always be true but it’s now time to move on for something new.

[your-sweet-davina]

Sometimes we realize that the people we love are not good for us.

There are people that feel like a ticking time bomb, a sensitive landmine, a cracked frozen lake, or a pulled back arrow ready to pierce your soul the moment you make the wrong move.

There are people that makes us feel anxious and unsafe. People that have traumatized us, unaware yet continuously.

Sometimes the people we love will end up hurting us, and we either wouldn’t notice or care to stop it—because we love them. Because we think it’s just a mistake. They don’t mean it, right?

But it doesn’t matter, my dear.

Pain is still pain. And if inflicted on you, it will still hurt.

Protect yourself, my love.

Love should make you feel safe and cared for. It should be your light and home.

Love shouldn’t make you feel scared and angry. It shouldn’t be something you have to protect yourself against.

If someone bothers your heart and destroys your peace, then they are not your people. They are not your tribe.

Leave and let go of the negativity they give you. Release them. Free yourself from them. Love shouldn’t hurt you. Love should always protect you. And if they don’t, then out of self-love, please protect yourself.

Do not prolong your suffering for the sake of love. Love does not require you to suffer. Love should always be your peace.

[your-sweet-davina]

Not everyone who hurt us meant it. We have to forgive those who disappointed us. Those who were unintentionally insensitive or ignorant to our pain. It’s not usually because they don’t care for us, it’s just that they have their own life to live. Their own demons to secretly battle. Their own scars to slowly heal. And their own secrets to protectively keep. Not everything is about us. So let’s forgive those who hurt us, we don’t really know why they did it. But that doesn’t mean we have to stay. If they’re being too hurtful to us—intentional or not—let’s not blind ourselves to the pain they’re inflicting just because we love them. Leave when it’s too much to bear. Forgive and let go, my dear. Letting go doesn’t necessarily mean you’re giving up on them or that you don’t love them anymore. Remember that letting go is also an act of love. It’s a selfless way of love. Because we’re sacrificing our feelings for their sake… for their growth. Let them go until they finish dealing with whatever they need to. You’ll know when it’s the right time for them to come back. Or if they still should at all. But in the meantime, forgive them and let go… Do it out of love.

[your-sweet-davina]

I believe that love exist. 

 That even though I’ve been hurt, betrayed and abandoned many times before by the people who claim to love me, I still have hope that it won’t always be that way. 

I believe that somewhere out there, there is someone meant for us. 

 Someone that will love us and never leave. The one that will show and give us what we deserve.

 And it will take time. I know it will. 

 They say that “beauty takes time” and I believe that meant deep meaningful things take time to appear in our lives. 

We must first go through things that will hurt us, but will help us learn and realize what we truly desire. 

And that way, we won’t ever take for granted whatever blessing comes our way because we already know how precious it is because of the pain we went through with the things we settled less for. 

Life is teaching us the importance of delayed gratification. 

And I think that’s one of the many things we should be grateful for in life. 

I know how annoying it is to always be told to love ourselves first and to wait for the divine timing. 

But it’s all for a good reason. 

And one day, some day… it’ll come. 

 And we’ll finally understand why it didn’t come sooner. 

But the wait will definitely be worth it. 

Love exist. 

And with hope, it will surely come to you. 

With patience comes a blessing, after all.

[your-sweet-davina]

If you ever find yourself doubting a connection and thinking if you deserve better, then this is your sign that you do.

Please do not put up with people that mistreat you.

Don’t settle for anything below than what you deserve.

Don’t lower your standards for anybody.

If you’re in a relationship with someone that makes you insecure and refuses to acknowledge it when you express yourself, then let them go.

If you have a friend that lies and makes excuses to be there for you and doesn’t hear your calls for help, then let them go.

If you have a family that refuses to understand you expressing yourself and guilt trips you into not being what they want you to be, then let them go.

Let go of the ones that makes you feel bad about yourself.

Let go of the ones that refuses to see your worth.

Let go of the ones that causes you anxiety and pain. Let go of what hurts you.

And make space for what will love you.

[your-sweet-davina]

Let’s talk about something that’s hard to admit, shall we?

Just because you’re religious, doesn’t immediately make you an angel. 

Believing in God doesn’t always mean you meant every prayer you say.

Just because you give and give doesn’t necessarily mean you’re giving the right thing and right amount. 

You may just be giving the bare minimum and call it a sacrifice to do so.

Just because you feel bad about other people, doesn’t make you an empath. Maybe you’re just overly sensitive that you think you know how they feel. But when they tell you the truth, you’re left shocked that you don’t know their troubles like you thought you do.

Just because you’re childish, doesn’t always mean you’re innocent. Maybe you’re just emotionally immature that refuse to acknowledge how you need to act like because you’re not ready for the responsibilities adults have.

Just because you think you’re always there for others and they’re not, doesn’t mean it’s true. They may have always tried to be there for you but you refuse them. And you may not even be of any help to them when you’re there for them.

You may think you’re being honest to others by talking and talking, but you’re actually just projecting the lies you want them to believe.

You may think you’re doing others a favour, but you don’t actually listen to what they want and need.

Just because you say you love then, doesn’t mean they feel it. Your actions still matter. 

Just because you think you’re a good person doesn’t always mean that you are. 

Sometimes, you may actually be as toxic as you complain about others on social media.

Stop and look at yourself for awhile.

You may think you’re talking about others, but you’re only just refusing to admit what you see in yourself.

[your-sweet-davina]

People change.

It’s something to rejoice but also grieve about.

We rejoice because of growth. 

Growth leads to maturity and enlightenment. Something to be proud of and be happy about, right?

But we also grieve for the parts we loved that no longer exist anymore. 

It makes us question whether do we still know ourselves or them, or not at all.

Change is both a wonderful and distressing part of life. But it is something we must accept and embody.

I hope when change comes and happens, you will be proud of it and rejoice. 

Celebrate growth and the unknown that comes with it.

Do not be afraid to change. 

Because the best version of you may be on the other side of your fear.

Whatever you do, don’t stop growing.

[your-sweet-davina]

I’m sure we’ve all lost someone in our life.

Someone we never thought we could ever lose while we’re still alive. 

Someone so close and dear to our heart that it almost broke our soul when they left. Because their departure was sudden and inevitable. It wasn’t what anyone wanted. And that hurts, you know… Being left knowing they never wanted to leave. 

Life just happened and suddenly lost its time on earth.

How painful is it to think of the future we’re never going to have with the people that have passed on—permanently leaving our lives forever. 

And the voices and faces that we’ll soon forget with time… 

Life is so fragile, isn’t it? 

It’s heart breaking to love someone so deeply; someone will still feel the pain of the other’s loss one way or another and sooner or later. 

More painful is that life still goes on despite the loss; kind of cruel don’t you think? 

Life is unexpected and short. Make sure you live it well, surrounded by those you love and loves you back.

Live happily while you still can.

May our loved ones 

Rest In Peace 🕊️

[your-sweet-davina]

Have you ever met someone that’s so caught up in their misery, that they refuse to see anything beyond their perspective?

Someone that believes that every misfortune is for them. And that every criticism is about them.

A broken person that believe they’ll forever be broken so they refuse to work on their broken pieces and just accept that misery will be forever.

But then complain to the universe why they deserve such punishment when in fact, it is only them that gives the punishment to themselves.

These are the people that we want to help but my dear, these are the people we have to protect ourselves from.

Because they are the people that don’t listen. They are stubborn. You can try all you want to show your love and care. To say all praises and encouragements. 

But it will never be enough, dear. They will still see pass your efforts and complain to the universe about feeling alone despite you always being there for them. 

They are the ones that complain how nobody is there for them when they never asked for help and they push away that do.

They refuse to see the light and blessings they have because they’re so used to the darkness that they find comfort in it and refuse to leave.

It’s sad and tragic. But they cannot be saved. 

Only they can get themselves out of that negative bubble. You cannot save this type of people. You will only get caught up in their world of self-sabotaging misery. 

Let them go. 

For your sake, let them go.

[your-sweet-davina]

We all have toxic traits we’ve been doing for years. 

Some of us do them unconsciously, while others don’t see them as toxic at all.

Lucky are those who sees their toxic ways and take actions to better themselves immediately.

Because there are those that refuse to look within themselves in fear of what they may find.

And there are those that refuse to change themselves in order to stay in their comfort zone.

Please be the type of person that chooses to look within themselves for signs of toxicity and immaturity and choose to work on them for yourself.

Don’t be the type of person who refuses to acknowledge the toxicity they see. 

And don’t be the type to argue and antagonize those that point them out to you. 

Don’t be the type to push away the people that shows you what you don’t want to see in yourself. 

Be thankful for the ones that challenges you to see your true colours.

As much as we don’t like thinking badly about ourselves, we cannot always be the hero or the victim.

Just because we think we are good doesn’t mean we are good to others. 

Sometimes, we have to listen to criticisms, not to let them control us, but to use them to see a different perspective of ourselves.

Nobody is perfect. We all have something to work on within us. 

That’s part of growth. That’s part of living. 

So please, don’t be afraid to change yourself for the better.

[your-sweet-davina]

You know what hurts more than ex-lovers?

The ones that got away.

That person we loved but couldn't have.

That person that owns all our "what if's" and "what could've been".

The ones that makes us overthink about the happiness and future we could've had with them.

The ones that causes our heart to ache when we think of them; not because of a love that ended, but for a love that never begun.

They're the ones that makes us question ourselves.

What happened? Why couldn't we be together? What did I do? What should I have done to make things work? What should I have said for you to stay and call me yours?

The ones that got away are the ones that are harder to forget. 

Because we never really got the full picture of them, just what they left for us to keep and contemplate about.

[your-sweet-davina]

I believe in the concept of soulmates.

I'm sure we all have one, just in different forms.

Other's soulmate is a lover. Some a best friend. Or maybe a sibling, a parent or a cousin. And some soulmates are pets.

A soulmate is someone that lights up our life. Someone that brightens our day and widens our smile.

Someone that feels safe, warm and comfortable--someone that feels like home.

A soulmate is someone that always chooses you. Someone that chooses to stay no matter what. Someone that loves you unconditionally. Someone that values you--like, *really* sees your worth. Because they love you as much as you love them.

A soulmate connection won't feel forced. It's a connection that will never hurt nor leave.

You will know your soulmate when you meet them. Your soul will just know. I believe that soulmates exist--because I've found mine.

And I hope we all find our soulmate and live this lifetime with them. 

We all deserve to live life with someone that understands our soul and makes life feel lighter and worth living.

[your-sweet-davina]

I like men who are not afraid of showing “femininity.” 

Men who are not disgusted by the colour pink. 

Men who are good at doing what society deemed as a “woman’s job” like laundry, cooking and babysitting. 

Men who shows weaknesses and cry in front of people. 

Men who shows affections and hugs their friends and family.

Men who shows emotions instead of acting indifferent just to appear “cool.” 

I like men with depth. Those who are not stuck in toxic masculinity.

I hope more men will be more confident to show their true selves and not feel insecure if they're not being "masculine" enough.

Because the thing is, we all have feminine and masculine sides in ourselves. 

Let's all accept both equally, no matter what our sex may be.

[your-sweet-davina]

We all have that person that is dealing with their demons.

Someone that's been broken by life, people and circumstances.

Whether it be a friend, a family or a stranger; we all have someone we want to save. But we can't. How can we when they push us away?

When they lie about being fine. When they don't give us the chance to help.

And when they let us go because they "don't want to burden us" with their broken pieces.

We can try all we want. Really.

We can hold on tightly and stay, because we want to be there for them. 

Because we love them. We can continue to fight for the connection on our own while they deal with their own battles.

But I hope you respect your own limit. There's only so much we can do for someone.

Please know that you too, are worth caring for.

Don't sacrifice yourself just to save someone that can only save themselves.

Know that you've done your part, love. You've done all that you could, but if it's still not enough to ease their pain, then you must set yourself free from the responsibility that shouldn't have been yours in the first place.

Let them save themselves, dear. 

And focus on your own wellbeing as you support them on their journey.