zero.

♪ zero | 24 | new york city ♫ Former lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist of Soul Deception, current lead guitarist of Seventh Apparition.

[classycookiexo]

[capricorn-born]

Oddly specific. Got a deposit for 6,837 today

[weaselle]

fuck it, i never ever do those “reblog for X, this one really works!” posts, but this one doesn’t have any of that BS, this is just straight up wishing us good things; and then the comment doesn’t even say any of that either. Zero claims on this post, all positive vibes

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[vmohlere]

May you end this week feeling ever more certain of a future you’ll love

[cannibalchicken]

make better choices

[tkingfisher]

So the really fabulous thing about this is that while there’s two basic theories about how the seals get an eel up their nose, there are also problems with both of them. The first is that the seal is shoving its head in holes in the rocks and the eel panics and goes for what looks like a hole—ie a seal nostril. And that would be a great theory, except that seals have what are described as “extremely muscular nostrils” because they gotta slam them closed when diving to keep water out.

Which, okay, fine, except that there’s often like two, three feet of eel INSIDE THE SEAL. The stuff hanging out is just the end of the tail. And eels are astonishingly powerful for their size, true, but so are seal nostrils. (Why am I typing these words? How did my life come to this?)

The other theory, of course, is that they barfed up an eel and it came out their nose instead, but we’re talking a fairly impressive feat that the eel lined up just right to come out the nostrils, and also those are BIG eels. It’d be kinda like a human puking a spear of asparagus out of their nose. (Why am I typing THESE words, too? Why?)

The remaining theory, which is actually the one ascribed to by the lead scientist on the endangered monk seal project, is that dumb teenage seals are snorting eels at each other for fun. And y’know…I just…sure. We live in a world where that wouldn’t even be the tenth strangest thing I’ve heard about mammals.

In conclusion, if any young monk seals are following me, Just Say No To Eel.

[grimsauce]

[tkingfisher]

EXACTLY LIKE THAT probably

[omghotmemes]

[champagnemanagement]

i need some victory today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hoursgoneby]

Some days you just need a velociraptor on your side.

[jordisstigander]

“It might be nice, it might be nice,

To have a velociraptor on your side”

[quiteliterallyhotsauce]

I’m ready

[lorelaigilmoure]

#i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately

[ultrafacts]

[bestnatesmithever]

What if it bites me and it dies?

[finalellipsis-deactivated201807]

that means you’re poisonous. jesus christ, nate, learn to read.

[babblingfishes]

What if it bites itself and I die?

[william-petrisous-and-other-blo]

It’s voodoo.

[the-ordinary-nerd]

What if it bites me and someone else dies?

[tpt-moved]

That’s correlation, not causation.

[pizzadut]

what if we bite each other and neither of us die

[demonsinsuits]

that’s kinky

[pizzadut]

oh my god

[the-last-snow-elf]

this is still my favorite text post collaboration ever

[buzzfeed]

This Artist Reimagines Classic Paintings With God As A Black Woman And They’re Beautiful

[fangedbratz]

reblog to make the racists big mad

[solarpunkcast]

We should be reblogging this to support black artists and black experiences

[taylsthetrap]

I am Arran, god of the most important thing

EDIT: if y'all don’t wanna use your name use your username

[mnyehlike]

I am Karma, God of all the time

[babs-n-baubles]

I am Brianna, God the turrets.

*distant Texan cackling*

[a-r-in]

I am Arin, god of ya art

[drjamjams]

I am Mimi, God of the world

[deathtothecrows]

I am Crows, god of the day

[crispy-onion]

I am Arch, God of the house.

[meow-moment]

I am Beck, god of the kids

[poseidonslostspawn]

I am Loukas, god of the time.

[gremlin-ardi]

I am Ardi, god of the rules

[gayymomgod-side-blog-deactivate]

I am Esme, god of the chocolates

hehehehehehhe nice

[joxterstudies]

I am Joxter, God of all of us.

Wait. Hold on. What does that mean?

[odet0afriend]

I am Kai, God of War

Oh fair.

[yellingalways-deactivated202305]

I am Caroline, God of My

wtf

[seeyouspacecowboy98]

I am Andra, God of a Jedi

Huh

[riley-foster-official]

I am Riley, God of my god.

…hmmm…

[zerovalencia]

I am Zero, God of my life.

[andthwip-deactivated20220219]

Parenting a baby Groot vs……

[yourfursona]

420 years ago, on 4/20, the moon was made of weed.

[yourfursona]

This is the only day you can reblog this. Do it for Weed Moon.

[katilatah]

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

[grawly]

my coworkers went to NYC over the weekend and brought me back this

[grawly]

[onnihopedream]

[anancientheart]

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

[anancientheart]

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

[gahdamnpunk]

People who wouldn’t perform abortions or treat trans patients should probably have chosen a different career

[loamsome]

What did we do to deserve Bill Nye

[mydark-aesthetic]

Requested! Tarot Cards + Orange + Fall Towns (plus Pierce the Veil)

[bpd-darling]

me (cleaning up): holds knife

intrusive thoughts: what if-

me: ok edgelord we get it what if i slit my wrists right now can we please just focus

[hawkeyedflame]

Additionally; me: *waiting for the subway* intrusive thoughts: what if you jumped me: it would cause a four hour delay while they pick your body parts out of the rails you fucking prick, can we please for once get on public transit without going through this

[brosefvondudehomie-deactivated2]

Also; Me: *walking along a busy road* intrusive thoughts: What if you just fell over in front of this truck? Me: It would back up traffic all fucking night and probably hurt a lot of people you prick.

[smallblueangel-deactivated20170]

Gosh. I never have thoughts like this

[bpd-darling]

didnt ask but that sounds nice

[augustcallback]

Me: *walking down the stairs* Intrusive Thought: I could throw myself down these flight of stairs and leave more time for everyone else! Me: Or you end up with a broken wrist and sprain ankle you dickhead keep walking

[commander-vas-normandy]

Me: *driving on a bridge* Intrusive thoughts: I could just drive straight into that lake and finish it right now. Me: You asshole, this is a new car. Just fucking keep going like everyone else you prick.

[trashysnakehasfeels-deactivated]

oh my god,^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

[rosebadwolf1000]

I needed this

[beka-tiddalik]

Me: *standing at a lookout* It’s so beautiful here…

Intrusive thoughts: yeah, look at that view, you could just step out into it and you’d probably never feel the impact when you hit the ground 20m below…

Me: Bitch, don’t ruin the view for everyone else. Fucksake.

[httpquotescum]

Me: *doing literally nothing*

Intrusive thoughts: What if-

Me: Can’t you just shut the fuck up and chill for once? God damn

[deanandcashaveaprofoundbond-dea]

Me: *sleeping*

Intrusive dreams: What if-

Me in my dream: OMG I’m fucking sleeping you ass! Get out of my dream!

[linda-belcher]

This is the Dog of Protection.

Reblog and you’ll never be forced to reblog anything you don’t want to ever again!

[skin-daydreams]

omg bless

[joeljoelwarr]

“Ever again” gOOD OKAY.

[magicalthoughtsendinterriblefics]

Yaaaaas!