hello vonnie
Not today Justin
Today's Document
YOU ARE THE REASON
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Stranger Things
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cherry valley forever
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we're not kids anymore.
dirt enthusiast
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Product Placement
if i look back, i am lost
Cosimo Galluzzi
Kiana Khansmith
KIROKAZE
shark vs the universe
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@zippityraye
Bless whoever made this.
Also a huge mood
Yup. Both of these. Especially the second one. The bottom line is that anxiety is the worst and you have to tell me what the facts are, if you keep secrets I’ll just think of the worst possible scenario and panic.
Reblog if you think it’s okay to platonically say “I Love You” to your friends
Slams the reblog button so damn fast
the dynamic between heinz doofenschmirtz and perry the platypus would probably come off as v romantic and gay if they were two people in a similar age range rather than a dude and a platypus. no i dont ship them but think about it. villainous monologues are already a very romantic and gay thing in itself (don’t question me on this you know im right). listening to somebody ramble excitedly about something they’re proud of is even more romantic and cute af. also doofensmirtz is already gay anyway. the only thing preventing this from becoming Peak Gay is the fact that perry is strictly professional and also a platypus. thanks for coming to my ted talk
“Perry is strictly professional and also a platypus”
I love the fact that “professional” is the first reason and “platypus” is the second, because this is extremely plausible for Perry.
“Yeah no I can’t fuck I’m on duty”.
Did you know that…?
1.Doofenshmirtz isn’t evil anymore,allowing Perry to date him
2.Romance betweet animal/human isn’t frowned upon in the Dwampyverse
we even got humans falling in love with inanimate objects, albeit played for laughs
one of Doofenshmirtz’ dates ditched him for a whale
we are talking about a universe where this is canon
for god’s sake
Look, I’m not that knowledgeable about Phineas and Ferb lore (although I’m very glad that my post resonated with the Gay Scientists Dating Tired Platypuses fandom) but what, pray tell, the fuck is going on? am i having a stroke? im willing to accept the teacher falling in love with her desk because language teachers just are like that but is this nerd about to bang an ice cone?? hello?????
It’s the ice cream machine,and her name is Carla
Let us also pop bottles for the time Doofenshmirtz had to help his ex-thwarty call’s current nemesis become desirable for punching again.
I thought Perry was with the Panda?
That’s a funny history actually.Peter the Panda is also dating his respective nemesis,he even got to met his parents
‘‘our boy is all grown up’‘ ‘‘why is he a panda bear’‘
had me crying
I think there was a scene where Peter and Perry were having dinner together at a fancy restaurant. But that was before Doofenshmirtz stopped being evil.
what the fuck is going on in Phineas and Ferb
@deenalloh you have to watch milo murphy’s law season 2 to know what’s going on with Doofenshmirtz life.He stopped being evil to commit to his future self: ‘’Professor Time’’ inventor of time-travel and a public figure.
and he is trying to be a good guy now
also there’s 2 more time lines where he ends up good
1.Science teacher
2. O.W.C.A agent (The OWCA Files)
this universe is big and vast and doesn’t end at Phineas and Ferb
Okay but saying that just because some people in that universe are in love with animals/inanimate objects doesn’t mean it’s normal.
I mean, in our universe, someone wanted to marry the Eiffel Tower.
yeah..but you see..there’s this wonderful thing in cartoons that real life doesn’t have and its animals being actual sentient/anthropomorphic. So,you can’t compare our life with a cartoon ship in this case
Also Perry is arguably one of the smartest characters on both shows when it comes to deductive reasoning, common sense, and social intelligence. He could tell just by looking at a room exactly what happened there a few hours ago. He can problem-solve on the fly, and does so very often. He has basic engineering skills (or at least, “basic” for this universe, which is kinda masterful for our universe), and can communicate complex thoughts to others despite being physically incapable of speaking English (he even knows ASL!) To claim that Perry the Platypus is incapable of providing consent simply because he isn’t human is a disservice to his character. And honestly, if we’re going by the anthropological definition of “human” (bipedal, opposable thumbs, ability to communicate complex thought), then he is by all means “human.” He’s just… A Human Platypus. …?
What the fuck became of my post
Also Doof is legally an Ocelot
Logan that only raises more questions on an already strange post
It’s canon. In the OWCA Files. Him legally being an ocelot is what allows him to be an agent.
What the FUCK
Yeah, in one part of his long, tragic backstory, he was abandon and raised by ocelots
I was wondering when someone was gonna bring up the ocelot thing
@looney-mooney I agree with this vit there’s one thing, even if Perry has amazing deductive reasoning he has to at least fall to one trap. That’s just the law of nature.
@oceanic-panic-panic bold of you to assume that Perry doesn’t let himself get trapped on purpose at least 2/3 of the time. Perry always escapes the traps. And he always waits for Doofenshmirtz to finish monologuing before escaping from them. It’s part of their routine, something they both expect: Perry bursts in, gets trapped, patiently listens to doof’s rant of the day, escapes the trap, fights his nemesis, and blows up the Inator. Whenever this routine is broken, they work to maintain it anyway - I can think of at least like 3 instances where Perry purposefully, politely traps himself, and several more where Doofenshmirtz gets impatient and sets Perry free from the trap himself so they can fight.
Perry getting trapped isn’t a sign of some intellectual folley - it’s a sign of his incredible problem-solving skills that he can escape them so easily, and a sign of his social intelligence that he knows to politely wait until his nemesis is ready to stop venting and start fighting.
But why does Perry need to be trapped for his nemesis to vent? Easy. Doofenshmirtz is a victim of severe child abuse, and needs to feel as though he’s somewhat in control of the situation before allowing himself to be vulnerable. Perry being trapped makes him feel safe, and Perry catches on to this. It’s an intricate social dance that none of his coworkers have mastered, the ability to communicate with and accomidate for a villain with special needs. And though it takes the whole summer, they eventually don’t even need the traps, because Perry makes Heinz feel safe.
I mean, back on the Peter the Panda line, being a nemesis was always supposed to be analogous to being in a relationship anyway. I think of this way more as an “arranged relationship turns to true love” story than an “enemies to lovers” one.
‘’You probably look at Perry the Platypus and me and think it’s a match made in heaven. But it wasn’t always this way. Back in the day, O.W.C.A. assigned agents willy-nilly, with no regard for personality conflicts or basic compatibility issues … like a bad blind date!
Why, when I first met Perry the Platypus, I didn’t even know what kind of an animal he was. Who’s ever heard of a teal platypus?! And I gotta tell you, he got on my last nerve … always staring at me, judging me. You know how he is.
Well, I was ready to call it quits. I even called Major Monogram to see if I could get another nemesis assigned. Something a little less semiaquatic. But thank goodness, Francis said to give it a little more time to see if things could work themselves out. And you know what? They did!
Now I wouldn’t trade my nemesis for anyone in the world. Oh, sure, he still infuriates me and I try to eliminate him on a daily basis, but that’s just what I do.
So, if your first encounter with your mortal foe isn’t perfect, don’t despair! It gets better … usually.’’
I’d say both are correct
Me knowing almost nothing about Phineas and Ferb but reading this entire post anyway
man i fucking love this long ass post about why doofenshmirtz should be able to date perry the platypus.
Sebastian Stan for Men’s Health
Loving how as soon as electricity was like, a Thing, people just went "you can make toast with this" and started working on electric toasters but they didn't quite have the whole heating element thing down so there was a not insignificant chance of it just exploding
People have been making bread crunchy by heating it up for Ages but for some reason I thought electric toasters would be happening around the same time as like, refrigerators but no people went "easier crunchy bread?" as soon as the technology was available. Not even remotely safe but like, existent. It took Way longer to figure out how to make things cold with electricity
I specify electric toasters because before that they had these bad boys
You just put your slice of bread in there and hold it over your fireplace and bam it's toast time
Actually you didn't have to use those, if you find yourself wanting some toast in victorian england you could also stick your bread on one of these motherfuckers right here
These are the very creatively titled (/s) toasting forks and they look metal as hell for the purpose they serve
You might notice that the tips are bent upwards, which is actually not for inflicting more pain when tormenting the souls of the damned but rather because the bread goes on them like so
And the bend helps keep the bread from sliding off
I know this is the most niche interest shit in the world but just look at that. The victorian era had no reason to go as hard as it did but every day I am grateful for it
But sliced bread didn't exist until... I dunno, but it was after Betty White was born. So would the Victorians just stab a wad of bread and toast it like a s'more or what?
I don't know how to tell you that you can slice a loaf of bread
Looking for LGBT/ally Christians
If you’re an LGBT Christian or a Christian who supports and affirms LGBT people please reblog so that I may follow you.
“dude” but like romantically
“babe” but like platonically
“Sweetheart” but like rivalry
I think I may have found my new favourite IG account… @sebastian.stan.as.cats
Bonus:
this is so perfect 👌
Where is the lie
Question: After the first Greatest Hits package came out, there was a significant break for the band where you stood back and took a breather. Are there any plans for that, this time around?
USA - Music - Boys of Zummer Tour - Austin, TX
July 26, 2015
📸: Suzanne Cordeiro
iHeart Radio / The Showbox At the Market
November 11, 2019.
📸: amber knecht (zbitnoff) on instagram
What's the real thing the 3am text/creepy grandma at your door prompt is based on!?!? Please, I need details!!! 💙
A friend got a text from an unknown number that said “do NOT answer the door” during a sleepover, which was instantly followed by someone knocking at the door and an elderly woman calling out, asking if any of us had any honey to spare. Given the fact they lived up a crazy long driveway, surrounded by forest, and it was 3 am, it was pretty sus.
Our small group kind of freaked out, and naturally I was delighted.
It was at this point that I remembered we had gone shopping for sleepover provisions earlier in the day, and had mistakenly bought honey instead of syrup, and no one liked honey (there was much complaining). So I did a dash for the kitchen and snatched the honey, then rather gleefully bounded over to the door, much to my friends horror.
Sure enough, very old lady is standing at the door, looking like every grandma stereotype you’ve ever heard of. I looked rather manic myself, with what my friends called, “That freaky unhinged grin you do.”, and handed her the whole thing of honey, and told her she could have it.
She looked genuinely surprised and kind of straightened a bit, then got this glint in her eyes and started fighting a grin.
We stood there and bantered for a while as my friends freaked the fuck out inside, before she finally said goodbye, told me to “Keep making mischief” and then strode off down the drive with a walk that was very much at odds with her hunched “feeble” appearance from a few moments earlier.
None of my friends slept that night, and I took particular glee in making strange noises whenever they would start to calm down. I was always a little shit like that.
Never saw her again, but I was gifted a rather beaten looking metal (Brass maybe?) flute the next evening on the doorstep with a simple “Thank you” written on a leaf of all things. None of my friends wanted to go anywhere near it, and I still have it to this day.
@jaeebitch
This is the bitch I’m talking about. Simple and banged up looking.
Bruh…You met a faerie.
@deliriumcrow
@normal-horoscopes
YOU ABSOLUTELY MET ONE OF THE GENTRY
THE FACT THAT THAT HAD THE BALLS TO ACTUALLY APPROACH THE THRESHOLD OF YOUR HOME IMPLIES A FAIRLY OLD OR HIGH RANKING ONE AS WELL
YOU HANDLED THE SITUATION PERFECTLY YOU DID THEM THEIR FAVOR WITH NO QUESTIONS OR IMPOLITENESS AND WITH UTTER SINCERITY YOU DIDNT GIVE THEM THE CHANCE TO MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED AND THUS THEY WERE LEFT INDEBTED TO YOU
DONT LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO THE FLUTE
ALSO A GROUP OF YOUNG CHILDREN UP PAST MIDNIGHT IN AN ISOLATED HOUSE IN THE WOODS IS LIKE FAE CATNIP ITS HONESTLY A MIRACLE THAT YOURE ALIVE
Bucky: Okay Morgan, there are 206 bones in the body, but! I’m gonna teach you how to dislocate someone’s body in 230 ways—
Sam: Dude. She’s a kid.
Morgan:…
Bucky: Oh yeah! You’re right.
*turns around for a few seconds before turning back with puppets over his hands*
Bucky, in somewhat a Kermit the frog’s voice: Hi kids! We’re going to show you how to dislocate someone’s body! Let’s start with the Clavicle region. Do you know where that is?
Sam: oh my god.
nebula, unfamiliar with terran anatomy: *sits down crisscross applesauce next to morgan*
I’m so glad that with Natasha, er, temporarily indisposed, Bucky is covering Morgan’s important education.
(Actually, the Winter Soldier having been forced to assist in brutally training young women to kill, while Bucky chooses to gently teach a young girl to defend herself, is beautiful character development, and I think a great way to reclaim both his agency and his humanity.)
WHEN nat gets back, she’s gonna be like
nat: okay so what did you teach her?
bucky: breaking bones, and the quickest way to a man’s heart.
nebula: through the ribs.
nat: excellent >:]
TONY, TWENTY MINUTES LATER: Why is my baby sparring with the Black Widow? Why did you give my baby a knife?
NATASHA, DRAMATICALLY CLUTCHING HER SIDE WHERE MORGAN GRAZED HER: You got me.
BUCKY: She didn’t even react like that when I shot her, Morg. You’re good at this. Great job with the stabbing!
TONY: I’m sorry what the fuck is happening.
MORGAN, taking the chef’s knife from Pepper and mining stabbing: no, mom, you hold it like this
PEPPER: I don’t think that’s effective against cucumber but I’ll keep it in mind.
MORGAN: AUNTIE NEBULA! How do I stab a cucumber?
NEBULA, APPEARING OUT OF NOWHERE, KNIVES IN HAND AND READY FOR STABBING: What’s a cucumber?
which is the moment when pepper decides to teach nebula how to cook.
Bold of you to assume Pepper knows how to prepare literally anything but salads and sandwiches.
Nebula, on the other hand, has had to survive alone in space.
Please consider: Nebula efficiently dicing the cucumber, and then teaching Morgan and Pepper both how to prepare a simple meal, which would apparently taste better with a specific type of meat that they can’t acquire on Terran, but this is the best she can do given the circumstances.
Nat: Wait what did you teach her?
Bucky: There are 206 bones in the human body…
Nat: James! She is a CHILD!
Nat: If you are fighting an opponent your age Morgan, there may be up to 270 bones in the human body. Children’s bones ares still fusing together. Here is how you can use that….
I’m sorry I’m going to need someone to draw Bucky with his assassin in training murder puppets. On his hands. While Morgan and Nebula watch.
so.. i’ve gotta write this,, right?????? i have to write a fic about this??????
more artwork! || buy me a coffee! || commission me!
I am so in love with this!!!!! @tilltheendwilliwrite @suz-123 @jrubalcaba @stars8melanin @hellaqueerangelofthelord @justreadingfics @that-werewolf-punk
This is the cutest thing 😭
some of y'all didnt grow up as the person nobody has a crush on and it really shows
some of yall never have to deal with the constant doubt in your own ability to be loved to the point where you get second hand embarrassment at the idea of someone being in love with you and finding you attractive because you’ve been diagnosed with ugly and cringy your whole life and it really shows
some of yall never had to deal with seeing bullies come up to you to say “(Name) wanna ask you out” as a joke to humiliate their friend because nothing was as embarrassing and disgusting than imagining going out with you and it really shows
