Help I'm a Noob @zombieinthetardis - Tumblr Blog

sex is a distraction from your true purpose in life which is to go to the aquarium and look at the fish and go "wooooooaaah.... fishies". cmon guys we all need to lock in.

kosmogrl

burins

thinking fondly of this meme I made for a coworker years and years ago

memorycycle

money beyond ypur wildist dreams

chirasul

one hundred and seventy dollars

memorycycle

deinosuchus wouldve loved a lamb souvlaki

asteroidtroglodyte

I love how these are from an Unreality subreddit but to my eye they just read like regular Tumblr shitposts. Did we cross-pollinate or something

dramatic-dolphin

some of my favorites

midnightnautilus

I haven’t even seen this movie but I need you to see this Letterboxd review of The Housemaid - the discord server I’m in and I have been losing our minds over it

nevershootamockingbird

[ ID from Alt: A review for the 2025 movie "The Housemaid". This review may contain spoilers. The main text reads, stop calling this movie “twisty.” the twist is that rich people are evil pervert. that is not a twist. that is information. personally this would never happen to me because i would simply use my Eyes and Ears to detect the evil house and then leave. “but she needed the job” i dont care. i will become a different person with a different job. i will move to the woods and eat bugs. i am not sleeping in the punishment attic. i am build different. i have what scientists call “a sense of danger.” i see a room that locks from the outside and i say “no thank you i choose life.” send me to jail. send me to the Ocean. i dont care. i am not entering the bad room. “but she was desperate” ok well i would simply become Not desperate. Rich people in these movies are always saying things like “would you like a tour of the house” and then they show you a hallway that goes the wrong direction and a staircase to nowhere and a room thats just Teeth and youre supposed to nod n smile like it’s normal. “this is the east wing” the east wing is making loud Torture noises. “we dont go in there” ok cool thanks for the heads up. “the previous maid loved it here” where is the previous maid now nina. “around.” around Where. i am going to get back in my car now. “Wait let me show you where youd be sleeping” it is an attic that locks from the outside. there are scratch marks on the door. the window is painted shut. “we just really value your privacy” i do not think that is what this is. “the last girl loved it up here” where is she now. “she left.” through the painted shut window? “she found a way.” why is there a bucket in the corner. “thats for. storage.” storage of What. it was nice to meet you nina i am leaving now in my car. she would say “but the salary” and i would already be gone. i would be a cloud of dust in the shape of a person who is not staying in the maid cage. i dont care if u r offering me one hundred bajillion million dollars i am not sleeping in the people crate. “its totally normal” i do not think so. Are you sure thats how doors work? you sure the maid bedroom is supposed to lock the maid inside? cause i asked the guy at the home depot and he said you are Pervert. “dont you want to see the basement” absolutely not. “its a wine cellar” i am sure it is. i am sure you have many wines down there. i am sure nothing else is down there. i am sure if i went down there i would come back up. i am sure of that. you are nodding too much. you are nodding like a person who has a secret basement thing going on. i am not going to be the next wine. and this is the spiral staircase” it goes down like nine hundred feet. “its italian marble.” great. “andrew designed it himself.” did he. it looks like a place where something bad would happen. it looks specifically designed for someone to fall down. “its perfectly safe.” it is not. i am an adult. i can see a murder staircase when i see one. “would you like to stand at the top.” i would not. “the view is lovely.” the view of what. the view of the Floor? from Fatally High Up? i will pass. Thank You" / End ID ]

midnightnautilus

To all who have told me about my absolutely awful cropping, I deeply apologize for not seeing it sooner, I wish I could change it, and I will do better in future posts should the need arise. Reblogging prev’s thoughtful ID text of the post for your viewing pleasure.

hometoursandotherstuff

beese-churger

Imagine if sometimes some fucking Ț̷̡͂̀̎͠h̸̜̅͐̄ì̸̩̮̃̃̆n̸̗̰̟͉͐̑͋͆͜g̸̮̻͔̼̬͌ could just crash through the shimmering veil of reality with a trail of fragments from the suffocating void enveloping it, grab whoever's unlucky enough to be closest, and swoop back out like it was nothing. And this was just one of your everyday hazards to worry about. Incredible cosmic horror concept

figofswords

i miss my beautiful wife joann fabrics it feels as if eons have passed since i last saw her. this guy michael keeps waving her visage in front of me and saying she’s living in his house but he is lying to me. i know this because i went into his house and found only fragments and memories of my beautiful wife joann and pictures of her shadowed face labeled “online only”. michael won’t even let me order swatches from him

greelin

they just look like this

greelin

too many of you are being far too cruel.

mammalidentifier

Brown dorcopsis (Dorcopsis muelleri) and white-striped dorcopsis (Dorcopsis hageni). Dorcopsis are cat-sized marsupials native to Western New Guinea, Papua New Guinea and Indonesia, closely related to kangaroos and wallabies. Their tails are partially hairless and they look remarkably greyhound-like when seen from the side.