Everything Is Awesome!

[viralfrog]

[spinachwrap]

[beemovieerotica]

[picunha]

the transition im crying

[vanity-complex]

I am walking onto the field. Haters are forcefully removing me from the premise

[cafeinevitable-deactivated20220]

Turtle Quilt by Laurraine Yuyama

Tokyo Quilt Festival

[writingfeedsthedarkestones]

QUILT

[finallygaveintothesirencall]

QUILT

[mshfar2a]

I don't like to admit it, but sometimes I actually miss John Green.

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Sometimes I can almost hear him.

[dogpuppy]

[firebatvillain]

One fun thing about learning new languages is reconsidering the structure of words and language in your mother tongue. It seems with each new language I study, I get more little insights into English, either in how it's similar or how it's different.

For example, a couple years ago, while learning Spanish, I encountered the word for a store, "la tienda." I thought "huh, that's a lot like tener (tiene) - the word for store in Spanish literally corresponds to 'to have/keep'. How interesting!"

Then I stopped for a moment, and for the first time in my life, thought about seriously about the meaning of English word for the place where you buy things, "a store."

[homunculus-argument]

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

[thekijs]

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.

[weaselle]

yuh i was there, that's how it happened

[unofficial-estonia]

[eestiblri-kultuurip2randid]

postituse kuupäev: 25. september 2015.

[sleepdeprivedsurgeon]

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

[ruinedchildhood]

[atlinmerrick]

I just laughed for one year watching this. The casual walk-off is just deadly.

[calebwittebane]

person typing into google search bar: obfuscate meaning

google ai overview: Understood! From now on, all meaning will be hidden from you, and you'll be forced to wade through the dreary vastness. Whether it's things you've always held dear, or new ideas you've yet to discover, nothing will make sense or appear to have any real value. This could be the beginning of a fascinating journey!

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[bettyrightnow]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

[free-my-mindd]

[diedoffscreen]

[mornington-the-crescent]

[elliejaybird]

my drive home from work yesterday

[elliejaybird]

Tumblr is the only place with enough patience to suffer my minimum effort Pictionary-style self portrait of myself in my car long enough to get to the ducks. I can check analytics on other sites that show most people are clicking away before the ducks.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[themirokai]

[juju-fisher]

I need to see this guy paint a tunnel on the side of a rock wall.

[the-haiku-bot]

I need to see this

guy paint a tunnel on the

side of a rock wall.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.