This Is Fine

I play guitar, viola, violin, and Bass Drum. And I take writing prompts for the fanfoms featured in my posts. I go by They/Them pronouns.

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Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda/ Love, Simon Steddie AU

so, I might make a Simon vs. The Homosapiens Agenda AU with Steddie but I don't quite have all the characters worked out yet so

Who should be Simon

Steve

Eddie

Both could fit

Voting ended onJul 21, 2023

[1787americanrevnerd]

Family is What You Make It

Part 1 Previous Next

Pietro was so tired. He wasn't mentally, physically, or emotionally prepared for the interrogation that had happened downstairs. Pietro ran a hand through his shorn, gray hair. Pietro didn't know the answers to half of the questions Erik asked him. They had made plans to have someone give the twins a physical exam, whatever that meant. Erik was nice enough but he asked his questions in a cold disinterested way. It was a wonder that a man like Erik could make a soup so warm and comforting. Pietro could vaguely remember a time when his Aunt and Uncle would make him soup whenever it was a cold day. Pietro loved soup, it reminded him of so many good memories of his family and those that he loved. 

Pietro was snapped out of his train of thoughts by Charles Xavier. He had said something about leading them up to their rooms. Pietro barely caught Wanda asking from one room. Pietro was getting a little sweaty and was feeling very dizzy. Pietro leaned against a doorframe, he needs to get some sleep quickly. As Pietro followed the two men down the hallway he started to think about Xavier. The professor seemed like a kind, passionate man who wanted the best for everyone he came in contact with, which was why Charles was a perfect match for Erik Lehnsherr. Erik Lehnsherr seemed to put everything aside for his ideals.

The room was huge. There were two beds in the middle of the room. On either side of the beds was a separate space for each of them. Each side of the room had a nightstand (next to the bed), a dresser, a desk, and a small bookcase. Pietro was amazed at the sheer size of the room. In Sokovia their room was a dresser and a single twin bed.

"I know that it's not much but, we are thinking about a different living arrangement so I hope this is okay for now," said Charles. Wanda smiled and said a small "thank you" to the man, Pietro nodded in his direction. Why did they have to move again, Pietro wondered, where would he and his sister go?

As Charles and Erik left the room Wanda and Pietro went to go sit on their beds. Wanda and he talked for many hours about what they thought about the two adults. Wanda trusted them to a certain extent, and a reasonable one at that. However, Pietro couldn't shake the feeling that something was off with them, especially Erik. Erik seemed too concerned about them, any other normal adult would have just left them there. Wanda had told Pietro that she didn't think Erik was his real name, she couldn't figure anything else out though.

"You know, we don't have to speak in Russian anymore," Pietro had told his sister as they got ready for bed.

"Force of habit," she responded.

Pietro didn't want to admit that he had forgotten most of the language his family spoke. He supposed that his brain had assumed that the language was not necessary since he wouldn't use it again. There was another possibility as well. Pietro moved faster than everybody else, an hour for most people felt like an eternity to him. It was not strange to think that perhaps he forgot the language because he hasn't used it in well over a decade, at least in Pietro's time. It still felt awful though, not being able to speak his mother's tongue, the language he was brought up on. He of course knew parts of the language, but he felt that he was no longer fluent. Wanda would never disrespect our ancestors like this, Pietro thought to himself as he climbed into bed. 

The bed was very comfortable, with soft linen sheets and a cushy mattress. Pietro almost fell asleep when he hit the mattress, but he couldn't. He had to make sure that the soldiers didn't come for his sleeping sister.

Wait...

There aren't any soldiers here, he doesn't have to be on guard.

Pietro closed his eyes, waiting for sleep to come. For the first time in two years, Pietro could rest easy, and boy did he need it.

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Family Is What You Make It

Part 1 Previous Next

Erik couldn't believe he was back in this kitchen, hell that he was back in this house. He thought that Charles would kick him to the curb, or maybe he was just being nice because of the children. Erik and Charles hadn't talked about Cuba yet, even though it had been nine years since he had left Charles to die.

Once he and the professor were outside the children's range of hearing Charles spun around. "Erik," Erik hated how his stomach still filled with butterflies whenever Charles spoke his name, "we haven't seen each other in a decade, and now you come with two children tow? Erik, what is going on? Where did you find them? Are they yours? Did you kidnap them? I mean-"

"Charles!" Erik interrupted, "I don't know who they are. I found them at a hidden Nazi base. I couldn't leave them there and I didn't know who else to go to. If you don't want me here, say the word and I'll leave."

Charles huffed a laugh, "God, it's been nine years, and I still... you know I could never ask you to leave."

Erik hated Charles, he hated that Charles wasn't angry at him. Charles should yell at him to leave, to never darken his doorstep again. Charles should kill Erik for putting that bullet through his spine, for stealing his sister, for abandoning him, and for killing Shaw. Erik hated Charles. He hated this place, this mansion, that he used to reveal his darkest secrets. He hated the children in the mansion, they were living a life that his ideology could never give them. Most of all, Erik hated himself. He hated how he would still melt at the sight of Charles. He hated how he would do anything Charles asked of him. He hated how he kept crawling back knowing full well that his heart would be broken again, and again, and again.

That's love though, at least according to him. Love is when you would do anything in the world to make someone happy or to see their dreams come true, even if you aren't a part of it. Love can make you feel joy, sorrow, hatred, and contentment all at once. Love is a feeling that Erik doubted he would ever feel again, then he met Charles. Charles, who opened up so many doors for him, showed Erik that he could be more than hatred. Erik had loved before, but Magda and Anya were different kinds of love. He loved Magda and valued her as a human being but they drifted apart near the end. However, there was no getting over Charles. 

"You look just as you did the last time I saw you," Erik told Charles, he turned away.

"We cannot start this again, old friend."

"Why not, Liebster?"

"We both know how this is going to end. Why start the pain all over again?"

"Because, even if it's pain, we are feeling something. One more try, please?"

"There have been so many nights that I spent awake trying to find you. How do I know you mean it this time?"

"I'm planning to use that house on the edge of the property to raise those two kids."

"The old servants' quarters? Why?"

"I was in their position, once upon a time. I feel that they need someone to be there for them."

Charles huffed, "Before we do that, I think we should find out if they have parents."

Erik nodded, and with that, they walked back into the kitchen. The two children were leaving against each other as they stared at their empty soup bowls. Erik always loved those soup bowls, they had small flower-like patterns drawn around the inside and outside of the bowl.

"Hello children, we want to ask you a few questions," Erik told them. Both of the children sat up and nodded.

"What were your parents' names?" Erik asks. 

"Our birth mother's name was Magda Eisenhardt and our adoptive parents were Marya and Django Maximoff," Pietro answered.

Erik paled, Magda Eisenhardt? As in his wife Magda Eisenhardt? The woman who he hadn't talked to in over ten years? Had she truly found someone else so quickly? Then again, Erik wasn't in charge of Magda, he didn't own her. She was an adult and if she had kids after being with him that was okay. After all, Erik had fallen in love with Charles after he left, so he couldn't speak about fidelity. It still hurt though, thinking about what their relationship meant if Magda had kids so soon after Erik and her parted ways.

A pat from Charles drew Erik out of his reverie, "Can you ask the children how old they are and when their birthdays are?"

Erik asked the children Charles' question and they took a moment to count.

"I do not know how old we are, they didn't have many calendars at the base. Our birthday is August 17th, 1957."

Erik did the math in his head, the twins would be fourteen now. Erik tried to count back, to nine months the August of 1957... oh. How could he forget what happened that November? That year was the worst year of his life. He was consumed by his anger and need for vengeance, and it all started in the November of 1956. That November forever changed his outlook on life. That November was the last few weeks of Anya Lehnsherr. That August kick-started the ruthless killer that he is today. That November was the reason that he never wants to have children, a family, or a partner ever again.

It stung more to know that Magda had gotten pregnant soon after their daughter had died. People have different ways of coping, Erik thought, mine was hunting down Nazis and closing myself off from the world. Erik was happy that there was still a bit of Magda left in the world, the fact that the twins were adopted didn't escape him. Erik continued to ask them more questions. He asked them things such as what happened to their guardians, how did HYDRA find them, do you have any family that would want to see them, and if their family cannot be found would you like to live with him?

That was the scariest question, wasn't it? The question meant much more than was explicitly stated. It was a way of showing that Erik was able to open his heart to others still. It was a plea to these children, who were put in an awful situation, to give him a chance to look after them. Most of all it was a way of moving on, a small step to having a family again. Erik liked having people he loved around him but, lately, he had been so afraid of loss that he had forgotten to love. As Erik looked at the malnourished children before him, smiling wide at the idea of a family, Erik could tell that opening his heart to others would be worth it.

[1787americanrevnerd]

Family Is What You Make It

Part 1 Previous Next

Wanda didn't know what to expect from their final destination, but this certainly wasn't it. Below them was a huge house, with an equally as large area of land surrounding it. Wanda never imagined that a property that big could belong to anyone that wasn't royalty. Growing up in Sokovia, where all the houses were less than 900 square feet, she couldn't even fathom a house as big as this. not only was there an excess of space, but students were also walking all over the campus. Wanda smiled as she looked down at the lively place. She and her brother would be happy here, she thought to herself. 

When the plane finally landed Wanda all but ran out the doors. Her legs were slightly wobbly but she couldn't care less. Wanda ran through the grass, twirled around, and looked up to feel the warm sun on her face. Wanda knew that she must have looked insane to the people in the field, however, she didn't have it in her to acknowledge their stares. Wanda was free from her captors. Wanda hadn't felt anything other than cement under her feet in so long. She had been robbed of the ability to dance around and enjoy herself. Most of all, Wanda hadn't seen a genuinely sunny sky in over three years. Just standing under the warm golden beams seemed to help rejuvenate her soul. Getting tired of standing, Wanda decided to lie down on the ground instead.

After a few moments, she felt Pietro lie down next to her. Wanda breathed in deeply, held it, and then let all the air out with a toothy smile. She turned to look at her brother. Where Wanda could hold a tan until the next day sunshine came, Pietro got pale after the first week that sun was gone. By no means did Pietro look like he was white, but his skin lacked a certain vibrance. 

"Wanda," said her brother. She looked into his eyes. "Get up people are staring," he continued to say. Wanda looked around, people were indeed staring at them. Wanda smiled sheepishly and got up off of the grass. She brushed the back of her dress hoping no more grass was left on it. Then Wanda followed Pietro and Erik inside the mansion. The home was even more spectacular inside; there were mutants everywhere, and they were all Wanda's age.

Wanda's eyes wandered around the massive entryway, there were beautiful cream moldings, extravagant light fixtures, dark wooden walls, and massive windows, and the whole room was tied together by the grand, polished, wooden staircase. Wanda looked at her brother, they were thinking the same thing. In a flash, both of them were racing up the stairs, so that they could ride the railing back down. Once they got up to the top of the staircase Wanda and her brother sat on top of it and waited a bit before sliding down, in other words, Wanda had to push Pietro. Wanda laughed, maybe a little too loud, as she went down the railway. Most of her childhood was stolen from her, she was happy to have even only a few seconds back. When she got to the bottom Pietro stopped her from flying out the door. 

Even as she was still smiling she heard a voice in her head, "I'm glad someone is enjoying that old staircase." 

Wanda was now on high alert, she had never come across another telepath. She whipped her head around to where she sensed the other person to be. When she looked down she saw a man in a wheelchair smiling up at her. Even though the man looked nice enough Wanda didn't like the feeling of someone else messing around in her mind. Wanda wondered if this is how others felt when she controlled someone. Wanda could still feel her mind in the man's grasp. Let go, she projected while shoving the wheelchair back with a red burst of energy.

Wanda's eyes widened, she would be hurt now all because she couldn't control her emotions. However, instead of punishing her the man simply smiled and stuck out his hand for her and Pietro to shake. "Charles Xavier, I'm deeply sorry for intruding. Sometimes I forget that most don't find the experience terribly welcoming". Wanda shook his hand after Pietro. She was happy to meet another telepath, however, she was less thrilled that she understood only half of the words he said.

Erik looked at Xavier and they seemed to have a little telepathic conversation, Wanda knew that she could've listened in but that would be a breach of trust between her and her liberator (she also knew that adults thought the strangest things and she did not want to learn more than she had to about the two men). Wanda wasn't the intrusive type, despite what her powers may lead one to believe. When Wanda had to read a mind she liked to do it nicely, go in, get what she needed, and then get out. 

After a few moments, Erik turned to the twins. "I know that you can not speak English very well, and since you do not want Charles in your mind I will be translating. I am sorry for any mistakes as Russian is my 6th language."

Pietro waved off Erik, "It is okay, Russian isn't even our first language. I think there will be mistakes from us too." Erik smiled at Wanda and her brother. Wanda followed Erik and Charles into the kitchen, her brother holding her hand the whole way. Ever since escaping HDYDRA, Wanda and her brother had started to cling together more than ever before. Wanda was happy that she could finally be near her brother with no wall separating them, and she knew that he felt the same way. 

When they got to the kitchen, Erik motioned to the two empty seats in a breakfast nook. As Wanda went to sit down she saw Erik go to grab something from a cupboard, until Charles motioned to a big metal pot that was on the stove. The two adults exchanged some words and Erik gave Charles a look that told Wanda there was a long complicated history between the two. Erik then went to a pantry and started to mix together a doughy, grainy-looking mixture. Erik then got a spoon and started to make balls out of the dough(?), which he then dropped into the pot along with other cut-up vegetables. A little while later Wanda and Pietro were scarfing down the delicious soup, they were practically licking the bowl. Wanda looked up once, and she saw Erik following Charles out of the room, she was too hungry to care about it though.

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Family Is What You Make It

Part 1 Previous Next

Pietro was tired, he had been tired for a long time. He didn't know why Wanda agreed to go with this man or why she seemed to trust him, but Pietro was too weak to argue. The doctors had decided that he was to be on a strict diet for a while, in other words, see how long it took him to starve to death. Pietro and Wanda were already malnourished, but now Pietro couldn't run. While feeling like his stomach was going to eat itself was a truly sucky feeling, knowing that it wasn't happening to his sister made it all worthwhile for Pietro. If there was one thing you should know about Pietro, it's that he would do anything so that his sister suffered through less pain than needed. On more than one occasion, Pietro had let and win their duels so that she wouldn't have to go through the torture session that happens to the loser. Pietro didn't think that the man meant to hurt them, but one could never be too sure. 

Pietro looked over to his sister's sleeping figure in the chair next to him. How can she sleep in the presence of a stranger, thought Pietro. Then again, Wanda has always been able to block out whatever she felt unnecessary. Pietro, however, couldn't stop thinking about the man.

Why was he helping them?

What was he doing at the Hydra base in the first place?

Where was he taking them?

Who was he?

When would he kill them?

There were no answers to these questions, well none that Pietro had. There were so many people out to get mutants, that it wouldn't be far-fetched to think that they were going from one hell to another. Pietro laughed at his own misfortune, just his luck to finally escape Hydra only to be killed by another mutant. Pietro thought about all the different ways that this metal-bending mutant could kill them off, shrapnel to the lung, choking them out with a necklace, curling metal around them and throwing them into the ocean, etc. In moments like these Pietro hated his overactive imagination. Sometimes he wished that he could be like Wanda (dissociate and then deny the situation until it works itself out).

Pietro sighed, what was he going to do if the man actually was trying to help them? Pietro and Wanda had no more living family left, very little education, and no documents. Pietro wasn't even sure what his age was, one tends to lose track of time while in captivity. Even if this man, Erik, really was trying to help them there was no way that he could. Of course, there was nowhere else that Pietro could run with his sister. The police would most likely deport them back to Sokovia, and into the hands of Hydra. Also, how would Pietro describe his interaction with Erik to the authorities? Was it kidnapping or liberation? 

Thinking this much was giving Pietro a bit of a headache. He hoped that Erik would give them food once they landed. Then again, how much food could Pietro's stomach handle without eating for a month? Pietro looked over and caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He looked one hundred instead of... whatever age he was. Pietro thinks that the lines and silver hair makes him appear this way. He looked down at his sister, without much hair they looked almost identical. He knew that they had many different features, but they had the same nose, skin tone, freckles, and face. Where it counted they looked alike, he hated the reasons why he could see such a resemblance.

Wanda started to stir, Pietro reached out a hand and patted her back. She asked how long she was out for, and Pietro answered one hour (a blatant lie). Wanda nodded and said, "ложиться спать."***** Pietro didn't want to argue with her so he put his head against the seat and closed his eyes. He didn't know if it was a good thing that his sister had him wrapped around her finger. For some people maybe not, but Pietro didn't mind doing most things Wanda told him (she was often right anyway). As Pietro started to drift into the realm of sleep he could feel Wanda's head on his shoulder. In response, Pietro wrapped an arm around her. Nothing would happen to her again as long as he was there, he swore to himself. In a few moments, the twins were dead to the waking world around them.

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Family Is What you Make It

Part 1 Next Part

Erik wasn't prepared for what he would find in the Hydra base. Of course, he knew that thee would be Nazi scientists and maybe some instruments of mass destruction, but not this. When he got to the end of the dark hallway and saw the two children in cages something inside him snapped. It took every ounce of self-control that Erik had to keep him from stabbing every single one of the bastards working there, again. There was a clipboard attached to the cells that Eri noticed after a while. On the paper, there was no mention of a name, nationality, gender, age, or anything, other than what experiment number they were. The one with red hair was Experiment 2123 and the one with silver hair was Experiment 4620, Erik's arm started to burn.

Erik opened the redhead's cage and stepped inside. He tried to guess what language she spoke, to no avail, and then she practically told him. Erik made sure to introduce himself and make the young girl feel safe. He asked her what the other child's name was and she informed him that the other prisoner was her twin brother, Pietro. Erik carefully stood up and offered his hand to the young girl, she refused and got up on her own. Erik then walked over to the boy and got him out of his cage. With the two children standing next to him, he started to lead them out of the building. After a bit of walking, they were outside and in front of the jet that Erik had stolen from Charles. he successfully got the two children in their seats and into the air. 

Erik had no idea what he was going to do once he got the children to the Mansion. Would he try to find their parents, did their parents even care about them? Erik had long forgotten how to act around children as it had been a little over 15 years since Anya died. Erik couldn't find it in his heart to just leave these children with Charles. Erik himself wasn't much older than them when he was liberated, he knew firsthand that they would need as many supportive adults as they could. Erik still couldn't wrap his head around the fact that the Nazis had continued to experiment on children right under everyone's noses.

Feeling a familiar itch, Erik looked at the numbers on his forearm that peaked out through his shirt. Had Hydra tattooed them as well as shaved their hair, Erik hoped not. He turned around to look at the children and found them playing a children's hand game. He was glad that their spirit hadn't been entirely broken by Hydra. Even though the sight of more children being damaged by Nazis broke his heart, Erik was happy that he was able to free these two. Erik wondered if Charles would help him assemble a team to free any more children suffering at the hand of Nazis, Hydra, and any other group.

Erik started to make a plan for when he got back to the Xavier estate. He should start with food, maybe some matzo ball soup (he could still recall his Mama's recipe). Once he got them fed the next logical step would be to figure out as much information on the kids as possible. Erik didn't know what to do after these steps, but that was a problem for future him. All that he had to think about now was if Charles would have any matzo meal at the mansion. I could always ask Charles if he has any, Erik thought. After a long while of projecting his thoughts Charles answered. 

What do you need Erik? Charles asked. Erik thought about matzo, hoping that Charles would understand the message. Ah, we do in fact have matzo meal in the house, I always make sure to have it if you ever decide to visit.

Erik didn't want to think about what that thought meant. He didn't want to think about how Charles cared about him so much to know that whenever he was upset Eri made himself soup. And Erik definitely didn't want to think about how after everything that had been said and done, Charles still wanted him to come home. No, not home. The mansion was never his home, it was Charles'. Erik couldn't afford to have a home, again, because once you start caring about people and things they are taken away from you. Erik would rather never have a loving family again than lose another one. He sighed, not believing that Charles still had this effect on him a decade later. Meeting Charles Xavier was either a blessing or a curse, Erik wasn't sure which one yet.

[1787americanrevnerd]

Family Is What You Make It

Wanda didn't understand why the universe was so cruel to her and her brother. She had come up with many theories over the years about why God hated them maybe it was because she was Romani or that she was a mutant or maybe she and her brother were really just that unlucky. Things were starting to look up in that orphanage and then Hydra had to come along and ruin it. Wanda didn't understand how Hydra knew where to find her and her brother. For a while, she thought that it was because she and her brother were Romani and therefore on the watchlist. Then the thought came to her that Hydra must have a machine that detects mutants. Either way, she had no way to be certain.

Anyway, when Hydra had taken them to their base Wanda thought that she was going to die, instead, something much worse happened. Wanda and her brother were experimented on and tortured. Some of these experiments were about their powers whereas others were carried out simply for cruelty's sake. For example, last Friday Wanda had been taken to the medical ward. There she was strapped to a bed and shocked again and again, and after every painful sting, she was told to lift blocks in order to test how much pain her powers could take. Whereas Peitro had been starved for a month and a half, for no reason other than his suffering. 

At first, Wanda thought that she would never learn to ignore the screams of pain from her brother. Unfortunately, she was proven wrong. Wanda had come to learn that silence was more concerning than screams. Screams let you know that the other person was alive, that the doctors hadn't just gotten rid of them. Wanda hated listening to the sharp noises echoing down the hallways, but it was better than living in a world her brother didn't exist in.

The day that their lives changed started like any other, a forced fight between Wanda and Pietro under threat of death. Wanda had finally gotten a hold of Pietro when the alarms went off. The armored men had scared looks on their faces as they listened to the comms. Wanda set Pietro down and followed the guards back to their cells. Everything was quiet for a few hours until someone came down the hallway. He looked to be around 40 years old with brown hair, and blue eyes, he looked tired and angry. The man didn't seem to notice them at first. As the man continued to walk toward them Wanda realized that he had been dragging a soldier behind him. The man spoke in a language that Wanda didn't understand. The language sounded like German, however, Wanda's knowledge of the language was limited to counting from 1 to 20. The man punched the guard and then the guard laughed said something in German and then pointed to Wanda and Pietro. A guard pointing at them was never a good sign. 

The man let go of the guard, and the guard fell limp, then the man walked over to Wanda and her brother. Wanda's eyes widened and Pietro tried to draw attention to himself as much as he could. However, the man kept staring at Wanda. In fear of the man Wanda scooted over to the corner of her cell, curled up in a ball, and ran her fingers through her outgrown buzz cut. She could card her fingers through her hair now, which means that it'll be cut off again soon. But, if that man had killed all of the guards no one would be there to take her away.

The sound of metal bending broke Wanda out of her thoughts. When she looked up she saw the man coming into her cage. He kneeled down in front of her and then he spoke, "Sprichst du Deutsch?". Wanda shook her head. The man thought a little bit and then asked, "Polski?". Wanda replied with a small Нет. The man nodded and then said, "Ah, русски,красивый язык. Вы говори́те по-англи́йски?." 

"Я немно́го говорю́ по-англи́йски," Wanda told him. The man nodded and put his hand out in front of her, waiting for a handshake. 

"My name is Erik Lehnsherr, what is yours?" he asked. Wanda smiled up at him and said,

"Nice to meet you Erik my name is Wanda."

Part 2

[1787americanrevnerd]

TW: mentions of self harm and eating disorders please be mindful of your own mental state

I'm not saying that you shouldn't be willing to help a family member that struggles with self-harm, eating disorders, or skin picking disorder I'm saying don't ask my about something about myself that makes me uncomfortable and tell me that it isn't healthy or I shouldn't do it. I KNOW THAT. And I think most people who struggle with these kinds of things would agree. If someone struggles with these things they are well aware that it is a problem and that they are hurting themselves in some way. It might just be me but pointing it out actually makes me more uncomfortable and more likely to do something or think about doing something. If you want to be supportive let people know you're there for them without actually pointing out something that will make your friend/family member/significant other distrustful or even bitter towards you. For me personally just offer to listen and offer input when asked not because you're trying to act as my therapist, because that's not what loved ones with mental illnesses and disorders need from you. This is all very how I, someone who has skin picking disorder and has had thoughts about self harm, feel about family members asking about these things and trying to say their opinions on the matter.

Again this is not saying that you shouldn't get help or try to help your family and friends. This is saying that you should go, "You know that's bad for tou right. You really shouldn't do that." Because we can't control it. When stuff like this happens our rational selves are not in control, we can't help it. For me and the skin picking disorder I don't even realize I'm doing it half the time. I know that quote sounds like an exaggeration but family members have said this to me before. Point is don't try to be a therapist or force us to do anything, that can make it worse, just learn as much as you can and see from our perspective and ask what you can do to help.

Please don't come at me for this, it is completely about my personal experience and how my family is. Not everyone with a mental disorder feels this way just be cautious of what you say and how you say it.

[1787americanrevnerd]

Act Normal, No Problem

Happy Pride Month!

Summary: When you have a family as chaotic as the Maximoff-Lehnsherr-Xavier family, normal is not achievable. In short, the classic sitcom "meet the chaotic in-laws" happens when Billy finally allows Teddy, after a year of dating, to meet his family. Billy tells them to act normal since he doesn't want to scare Teddy off with a house of crazy mutants, synthiziods, and political debates. However, if you know anything about Billy's family you know that normal is not a word in their dictionary.

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It's not that Billy was ashamed or didn't love his family, they were just very non-traditional. Now being in a traditional all-American family was boring but Billy would much prefer introducing his boyfriend of a year to that instead of the chaotic family that was the Maximoff-Lehnsherr-Xavier's. Billy hadn't told Teddy of his powers yet and was waiting for the right time to do so. Billy was always aware that his family was odd, even when he was young. Billy's mother was Romani and even that was stepping out of the traditional family in the U.S.. When Billy was fourteen he had made a list to compare the two.

Traditional American Family

Mother and a Father

2.5 children (one boy and two girls)

Human

A grandma and a grandpa

An Uncle, Aunt, and child (one family)

No one ever gets a divorce

Christian/Catholic

Has been in America for a while

No mental illness whatsoever

Doesn't like to interfere in politics

My Family

Mother and Father

3 children (two boys from Dad, and a girl from Mom's fling with Kurt Wagner)

All mutants

Four grandparents (six if we're counting Magda Eisenhardt and Ultron)

Uncle P is a single parent

Divorce and illegitimate children is basically a tradition

Jewish

I'm first generation

Depression, Anxiety, DID, Schizophrenia, Kleptomania (the list goes on)

Some family members are borderline terrorists

From these lists you can already see why Billy always thought that his family was different. Billy knew that he was facing a three hour lecture from his Grandpa about how "he should not be ashamed of who he is" and how "you should not change who you are for some silly boy" and then Grandad would get angry and Grandpa would say, "We are the future, Charles, we shouldn't be hiding." Now though Billy was more worried about Teddy dumping him because of his crazy family. Billy was talking to his Mom, Dad, and brother before dinner (his sister was with Great-Aunt Raven for the day). In the kitchen chicken paprikash was cooking in the kitchen and Billy's Mom continued to stir the pot with her magic. After Billy told them to not use their powers and to act like a normal family outrage broke out.

"Billy, you know I can't sit still for too long, man!"

"unger Mann, was würde dein Großvater sagen. Ich habe als Mutter versagt, wenn du denkst, dass du dein wahres Ich vor deinen Lieben verstecken solltest. Oh, was ist los, mein Sohn? Willst du nicht, dass ich dir Unbehagen bereite, indem ich das Wort unseres Volkes ausspreche?"

"William, you shouldn't feel the need to hide who you are but I understand not wanting to overwhelm him."

Billy was thankful that his father was understanding but he doubted his mother would go along with this so easily. Teddy came over a few minutes later and his entire family was sitting at the dining room table, no one has sat there in five years. When Teddy sat down Wanda started to serve the food and the line of questioning started. Vision started it but he left room for Wanda to jump in, "So Theodore, what are your grades in school?" Teddy looked around for a little before saying,

"Mostly B's but Billy's been helping me get my Math grade up." Vision nodded and then gestured for his wife to ask a question. Wand cleared her throat and then said in her accented voice,

"Where are you from, I know you moved here only recently?" What Wanda wanted to say was, What is your game? Why is my son over at your house for Christmas when he should be here learning about his people and spending time with his family? But in her heart, Wanda knew she wanted to say, Stop growing up, Billy. No matter how good she hid Wanda missed her sweet little boys. Wanda could remember when Billy would come to her so happy and excited to see her red magic float around the house as she cooked. 

"Um, you wouldn't know it, that's not really important, you know, where I'm from. How about you where are you guys from?" Teddy was sweating and not at all ready for the interrogation, Billy gripped Teddy's hand. For the next few minutes everything went well, Wanda and Vision continued their questioning, Teddy was making a good impression, and Billy didn't notice the ticking time bomb that was his brother, Tommy. Everything was going swell until Lorna, clad in clubwear, burst through the door as if she owned the place. 

"Hey, Wan, do you still have those stiletto boots from your party days?" Lorna asked. Wanda huffed and went into her bedroom. Lorna smiled and went to grab a plate, so that she could steal some food. Lorna then sat down next to Teddy "So you're the human that had the nerve to date Billiam," she said. Teddy just nodded and looked ahead, Lorna doesn't have a very welcoming personality.

When Lorna was getting ready to leave, Wanda had found her boots a few minutes ago, the door opened again. Billy's grandfather stormed into the house and Charles wheeled in after. "Erik, don't bring Wanda into this. Just admit that you are wrong," Charles tried to reason.

"Charles why can't you see that I am right, and that you're pacifist ways will get us no where. Wanda settle this, which one of us is right?" Erik asked Wanda. Billy held his head in his hands, his relationship might as well have ended. Billy's grandfather is not what you would call "pro-human", and Teddy was about to be on the receiving end of it. 

"Well," Wanda started, "you both have good points. Also could we not talk about this in front of company. Specifically ones that we're trying to make a good impression on." Erik and Charles didn't listen to her though, and they went over to the chess set. They then started their fighting.

"Let us finish this once and for all, old friend."

"Don't blame me when you lose because of your damn tunnel vision."

When the door opened a third time is when Tommy couldn't take it anymore. Tommy started to yell and then  ran out the door. Pietro then walked in with Luna, "Do you guys still have TJ's old clothes?" Everyone was talking so loud and then Kurt, Raven, and TJ walked into the house. Everyone started yelling, and it got all out of control. Without realizing it Billy let out a bout of magic and every went silent. Billy ran upstairs embarrassed and locked the door.

This is not how Billy wanted Teddy to find out about his family. After a while Billy heard a knock on the door. Billy hadn't realized that he had been crying until he noticed that itbwas hard to speak. "I don't want to talk right now, please just go away," Billy said. It was getting hard to breath and the world seemed to be closing in on him. The person knocked on Billy's door again and said,

"It's me, Teddy can you please let me in. I feel like we should talk about this." Billy opened the door with his magic and Teddy came in a few seconds later. Teddy sat down next to Billy and said, "Why did you try to hide who you are from me?" Billy sighed and said,

"I thought that you would hate me because I'm a mutant. I thought that you like so many others would be judgemental about my mother's ethnicity. I know that it was stupid but... I've met too many cruel people to fully trust anyone, even you."

"I understand that Billy, I'm gay how could I not understand, but while we're talking about this I want you to know that a normal family is one that loves each other and is supportive, I think your family fits that perfectly."

"Thanks, so do you have any family secrets you would like to tell me?"

"Would you believe me if I said that I am an alien kree and skull hybrid who can shapeshift and has green skin?"

"My half-sister has blue skin and can possess people, nothing shocks me at this point. Also if you want to just be green for the rest of the night no one in my family would care."

Teddy shifted into his natural form and smiled at Billy. As they walked out of the room Billy gave Teddy a kiss on the cheek. When they walked into the kitchen everyone seemed relieved that Bully was okay. Billy looked around, "Hey, does anyone know where Tommy is?"

"He's somewhere in Japan, I think, definitely in Asia," Charles said, he just got teleported by Kurt from Cerebro. David, who was sitting in the kitchen counter talking to Ruth, huffed, "I'll get him."

"When did David and Ruth get here?" Billy asked. Wanda looked over her shoulder, "We just thought that we might as well invite the while family over. Seeing as I cooked to much food." 

Billy smiled as he looked at his family, and how well Teddy fit in with them. This could have gone worse, he thought, let's just hope no one asks Teddy about his thoughts on politics. Erik cleared his throat, "Teddy seeing as you are not human, what are your thoughts on wiping out their race?" Billy put his head in his hands, I spoke too soon.

[1787americanrevnerd]

Sirius: Remus?

Remus: hmmm

Sirius: Would it be wrong to give our child a French name, speak to them only in French, and then raise them to hate the French?

Remus: It's frowned upon but I feel this is a conversation worth circling back to.

[1787americanrevnerd]

Teddy: Help I told Billy I'd cook dinner tonight but I can't cook! Tommy, pouring milk directly int the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

[1787americanrevnerd]

My best friend has a cat and this morning he came inside with a baby bunny in his mouth, by the neck. And she and I were looking at him and petting him. And her Uncle/father figure walked by and asked how he was doing. I answered, "He's breathing." My friend looks at me and says, "Johnny was breathing." I'm pretty sure my friend will go into full Dally-mode if this bunny dies.

Update: The bunny died this morning and my friend called me to say, "Darry I just robbed a store." Next time I'm over at her house I need to ask her sister if my friend punched the wall. Anyway, rest in peace bunny

[1787americanrevnerd]

Wanda: *when sparky climbs into her lap* Oh, hi there precious, who's the best one? You are!

Wanda: *when Billy and/or Tommy sit next to her* What do you want?

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*babysitting baby Lorna*

Pietro: *holding a barbie doll* Hey Ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career.

Wanda: *holding a Ken doll* Nonsense Barbie. You're staying home and having my kids!

Magda: What the hell are you two doing?

Pietro: Playing systematic oppression

[1787americanrevnerd]

10 years after Apocalypse

Peter: How about I try to stop the villan.

Charles: No Peter last time we tried that was 10 years ago and you were in a cast for two months!

Peter: Yeah good times.

[1787americanrevnerd]

Regulus: Okay let's go over your will. It says here you want to be mummified in fruit roll ups?

Sirius:

Regulus:

Sirius: Uh huh

[1787americanrevnerd]